Chapter 2

The time came to leave for Gerald’s parents’ home for Christmas dinner. It was already prearranged that Tommy would not be accompanying the family this particular year. He had made plans to have Christmas dinner with his friends.

At the last minute, Stephanie told Gerald she wasn’t feeling especially well and that she thought it best that she stay behind as well. After a minute of mild protest, Gerald left with the little ones. Soon after they had pulled out of the driveway, Tommy ran to the door.

“See ‘ya later, Mom, hope you feel better,” he said in a rush.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Stephanie said in a very firm tone of voice.

Tommy stopped in his tracks, his hand on the doorknob. After a few moments, he tried his best to talk his way into being allowed to leave, without looking at his mother.

“Um ... Mom,” he said nervously, “Ev ... everyone is expecting me. We’re having a dinner together and I...”

“You ... are not ... going ... anywhere,” she repeated. “Get over here and sit down, right now.”

Tommy obeyed, very reluctantly. He knew what he had done. And he knew his mother was now aware. What he didn’t know was what she might possibly say about it. He didn’t look up at his mother’s face until he was sitting across from her on the couch.

“Feeling any better, Mom?” he said feebly.

“Tommy, I don’t even ... I have no idea where to even start. What the hell happened last night? How could you? How could you?”

“Mom ... I’m so, so, sorry. Please believe me.”

“Why, Tommy? How could you do that and why would you ever do that ... to me?”

Tommy hung his head again. After a few moments he lifted it, tried not to look his mother in the eyes and barely succeeded.

“Mom, I don’t know what to say. I ... I wanna say, ‘It just happened,’ but I know that’s not good enough.”

“You’re damned right it’s not good enough. Do you realize what you did? Of course you do. I’m your mother!”

“I ... I know. I know how horribly wrong it was. And I know full well that you’re my mother, Mom.”

“So? What the hell were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t thinking, Mom. I just reacted.”

“Reacted to what? What would make you do that ... to your mother?”

“I know it doesn’t make things any better. But ... what did I react to? I reacted to you. I was on my way to take off the Santa suit and you called me from your bedroom.”

“I thought you were your father!”

“I know that now, Mom. But at the time, I just knew you wanted something. I had thought you were asleep. I came into your room and it was dark. And before I could say or do anything, Mom ... you were...”

“Like I said, I thought you were your father.”

“I know! Mom, I know you thought I was Dad. But ... I wasn’t in your room for 2 seconds before ... you were ... on your knees.”

Stephanie now stopped to think.

“But Tommy ... Shit. Well, OK, I’ll agree that ... I started it. But you could have stopped me, you know.”

“I’ve been thinking about it all night, Mom. You’re right, I could have and should have stopped you.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Like I said, I just reacted. You caught me so off guard! Mom, before I could even think of what to say, you had my pants down. And immediately you were ... You had me in your mouth.”

“Oh, my. This is my fault. What did I do? Well still Tommy, that was very bad. But you continued. You took me ... on the bed. You knew I was your mother. And you kept going.”

“I was so caught up in it then, Mom. And you were ... begging me to do it.”

“I was begging your father to do it, I thought.”

“Maybe there was a part of me that thought, if I just went through with it, then you would go on thinking it was Dad the whole time and you would never find out. And Dad would never have to know either.”

Stephanie considered her son’s words for a few moments.

“OK, I suppose I can understand that. But you said, that was a part of you that thought that. What about the rest of you? Why did the rest of you keep going?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just what I said. Other than thinking it might mean nobody had to know, why did you keep going?”

“Mom, I can’t ... Never mind. It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry, OK? So very sorry.”

“No, that’s not good enough. I want to know why you did this heinous thing to your mother ... to me.”

“I ... I don’t know how to say this. Not to you, Mom. It’s much better if we just forget it right now.”

“That’s not gonna happen. I want to know ... why?”

“Ugh ... fine. But first, I promise you, I’ve never thought about this before, I didn’t plan it, I never would plan it, I never wanted this in any way.”

“OK, I’m not exactly sure what that means. But go ahead, Tommy.”

“Mom, I don’t know how else to say this. I just ... when you started ... I...”

“Tell me,” Stephanie said in a softer, more forgiving tone as she leaned across the couch and touched her son’s knee.

“When you ... took me in your mouth ... I was gonna pull away immediately, I swear.”

“But... ?”

“But ... I felt your hair.”

“What?”

“I reached my hand out because I had no idea what you were doing on the floor. And I ... touched your hair.”

“You touched my hair?”

“And I smelled your perfume.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Mom, I got instantly turned on, even before you ... started sucking me. My body just responded. Your hair was so soft and your perfume ... well not just the perfume. It was how the perfume smelled on you. I’ve never gotten so hard so fast before.”

“Tommy ... Really?”

“Yes, Really. I’m sorry, Mom. It’s just the truth.”

“Honey, I don’t know what to say.”

“Is that so surprising, Mom?”

“Well, of course it’s surprising that you of all people would react to me that way. But honestly, I lost track of myself as an attractive woman years ago.”

“What? Mom, you have to be kidding. You’re beautiful!”

“Oh, shut up, Tommy. I know perfectly well that I’ve put on weight and just, gotten older. My boobs sag, my butt isn’t very firm any more. And I have a soft belly. I’m gross.”

“Mom, you are insane. You are so hot. I mean, I’ve only seen you in your clothes. And you’re beautiful in them. But last night, even though I couldn’t see your body because it was dark, I could ... I could feel you. I’m sure that’s the biggest reason I couldn’t stop, Mom. The more I touched you, the more I had to just ... have you.”