Chapter 6

It sure startled us when Mama bustled into the room, a pigtailed Mira in her arms. ‘What are the two of you tarrying about?’ she frowned, a frown which only deepened when she noticed that the back of my dress was unbuttoned. ‘Sally Jane, don’t you like your dress? Daniel, why don’t you help her with it?’

He looked at me helplessly. ‘I was trying to,’ my brother insisted, his voice cracking. ‘But the thing is, Ma, is doesn’t fit her any more!’

‘What?’ Skeptical, our mother set Mira down and strode determinedly over. It was as if she believed her hands alone could get my rogue town dress to fit, but no amount of tugging or turning made the next button reach its hole.

‘Sally Jane, what are we going to do?’ Mama sighed, rubbing her temple. ‘What are we going to do, child?’

For a moment I feared she knew of the baby growing inside my belly, but then she went on: ‘I was so sure this dress fit you. There’s nothing else to wear, dear, and it’s not an occasion for your everyday skirts.’ And she wasn’t about to let me go in dungarees, either—no one outside of the family was to see me in dungarees, she reminded me. ‘I’m sorry dear, but you’ll just have to stay behind. Daniel, you’ll stay too. Make sure Sally’s good and safe.’

‘Stay behind!’ we gasped. It had been too long since we’d been to a fair, or out into town at all truth be told, and I’d looked forward to the jam-making contest and seeing if Mama won for pumpkin pie in the baking contest. Danny gasped because he’d been hoping to come out victorious in the greased pig event, something else I’d been excited about all week to go witness.

No amount of convincing would change Mama’s mind. We were to stay here, were her orders. We could amuse ourselves as we liked, but we were not to have any visitors.

‘Maybe you can begin cutting out a new dress,’ Mama advised, taking Mira’s hand and starting away. ‘I’m sorry, children, but there’s nothing we can do about it this year. We’ll just have to be mighty careful next year and plan it out. You’ll be missed. Try and have some fun anyway.’

Danny and I shared glum looks. This had been an anticipated day all month or more, and now we were stuck at home. We watched from the window as Mum, Dad, and our baby sister began the walk down gravel roads into town.

‘Well, this cleans things up real good,’ Danny said. He scuffed his foot on the floor. ‘Guess I’d better get t’ weeding in the garden.’

‘And I’ll put on some supper for us,’ I agreed, wanting to have an early night. ‘Unbutton me?’ I said wryly. Danny did, and I stepped out of the dress and hung it up. Standing there in my camisole and slip, hair styled up ready to go into town, I turned to find my twin brother staring at me. He was biting his lip, blue eyes full of me.

‘Sally, you’re beautiful,’ he said, voice gravelly all of a sudden. There was a gentle flush beginning on his cheekbones. ‘I can’t believe we made a baby. It sure doesn’t look like we did. But I reckon when you do get all big, you’ll still be just as lovely standing in front of me like that, and I’ll love you just as much.’

Suddenly I felt all weepy. His eyes held so much love for me, and desire too. It was strange to think about a baby for me, too, but the way he put it I could almost see a picture of it in my head. His arms around my middle, while we lay naked together in bed, his lips gentle on mine. My tummy would be swollen and huge with a baby in it, and my breasts would get all soft in the way I’d seen other women’s breasts when they were expecting a baby.

‘Oh Danny, I love you too,’ I told him. ‘Come here, I want to kiss you.’

So he strode across the room to take me up in his arms. Since the springtime my brother had bulked up a bit, and he was a good head or so taller than me now, too. His shoulders had broadened and he’d taken on the look of half a man lately. I felt comforted by his strong embrace, and the passion of his kiss assured me of love that would last a long time. Still, right now our love and passion was not the most important thing to think of. It would help get us through some hard times, but what would we do when our parents noticed my burgeoning belly? I barely left the farm. Maybe a couple times a year except for ever Sunday, when we went to the little church up the road, but we only stayed for the service. And Danny was always to be with me, Mama had insisted on that. So even if the pastor wanted to talk to me about the day’s lesson, there was Danny, standing at my shoulder.

It was inarguably my brother who had fathered this child on me. It would be clear for our mother and father to see once they discovered the secret of our love growing in my womb.

‘What do we do, Danny? Should we tell Mama and Daddy before this baby announces itself for us?’

His arms tightened around me just a little. ‘I guess there’s really no other choice, is there, Sally?’

I shook my head. ‘They’ll know soon enough, anyway.’

His face was stone as he pulled away. ‘And what if they damn us both to hell?’

That was a real possibility. When we’d begun this thing, tripped into it, really, an insanely happy half-accident ... we hadn’t really discussed what would happen if Danny got me pregnant. Hellfire, if we were found out, could be in store for us two.

‘I guess we run away,’ I said, in a small voice. ‘We run somewhere people don’t know us. Pretend to be married, and live there.’

‘We don’t have all that much money,’ Danny said, sitting down on our parents’ bed. I sat across from him.

‘We can get jobs. We have skills,’ I reminded him.

‘Where would we go ... and how?’ Danny said.

‘If we walked into the next town over, where they have a bus, we could go anywhere for a few precious dollars’ fare,’ I said. ‘And if it’s wintertime, Mimi Dallas’ father has a car. He might be willing to give us a ride into town. We’d have to figure out what to say we were doing, of course, but I’m sure we could.’

‘But we’d still have to save up some money,’ Danny insisted. ‘You can’t rent a house or anything for free.’ ‘I know. So what should we do about it?’ ‘Well ... Mama’s had a few babies herself and gone to attend at least one birth year. I reckon she knows the look of it and she’ll catch on pretty soon you’re going to have one, don’t you think?’

‘Probably,’ I agreed miserably. Boy, was I going to hear about it!

‘In the meantime, though, maybe we should get some jobs. Mrs Harrison’s always looking for somebody to look after those twins of hers on Saturday nights. And she just has a new baby too; I’ll bet she’ll want somebody to look after him. That’ll be good practise for when this one is born.’

‘I wouldn’t mind that, Danny. And wintertime’s just around the corner,’ I piped up. ‘If I wear all those big wool sweaters, I don’t think anyone would notice me getting some fat. Deidre Hawkins got pregnant last year, and it was in the summer time. She was practically halfway there by Christmas, and everybody was wearing those thick knitted sweaters. It hardly showed!’

‘You’ll have to be careful and make a couple new shirts, though,’ Danny said. ‘And do something to fix your skirts, Sally.’

‘No more dungarees soon,’ I said sadly. ‘Oh well. Skirts are warmer in wintertime, anyway. Mama will be happy to see me wearing a skirt or a dress more. Would Daddy let you work, Danny? I’m sure Mama would spare me Saturday nights. But what about you? We still both have so much work to do with the animals, even in the winter.’ ‘I’d have to see about that,’ Danny said, frowning. ‘Let’s think about it some more. Meanwhile ... I’ll go down to the garden. I’d like to work a while and then take an early day, come in and have a bath, then spend the rest of the night reading and such.

‘I’ll go with you,’ I said. ‘If I’m going to make something for us to eat, I’d better stop by the garden first.’ I stood to dress properly and went down the stairs with him. The afternoon was cooling quickly and it was almost a relief to know we’d have a warm place to relax tonight; although the air was crisp and fresh, it was not unpleasantly cold.

Soon, the basket in my arms was full of zucchini, winter squash, and carrots. Before I went back to the house, Danny pulled me into his side for a half-embrace, bending down to plant a soft and sweet kiss on my lips. ‘I love you, Sally. We’ll be all right.’

His arms and words did reassure me, although the possibility of soon having to move across the province was daunting and frightening. If my clothes were already starting to not fit, I figured we had maybe two or three more months before things really became obvious. Not much time, and just into the first month or so of a harsh winter. When would Mama notice and begin to ask questions? Our mother was lovely, but she still wasn’t a saint. If we were to be caught, there would be a price to pay for the foolishness of hasty love.