The Dolphin

I speak to Maggie of shadow, and how it is that we choose to live in the now. I do not plan this talk, but I decide to say when she tells her thought that Kitik does not care for her. That is not true, but I understand how she could make this mistake. So I try to tell her why it is that he chooses not to speak human talk.

At first she does not understand at all, but I think later she comes to know at least a part of what I say. I do not wish her to think Kitik does not like her. Maggie has taught me that humans say “thank you” to show appreciation for giving. When Kitik comes to eat with me I speak to him in our way and tell him say this when Maggie gives food. He says it quickly, before any food, but Maggie does not seem to notice and I think she is pleased.

When Maggie comes to understand something of what is shadow she asks me why I wish to learn the human shadow speech. I do not know how to tell her. I say there is shadow in me, and that is so, but then I begin to think why is there shadow in me and not others, and this I do not know.

I think that no others, or very few, have shadow so strong as I. Kitik does not. Altauk and the others in the pod do not. Perhaps Acou has more than most, but his is a bad shadow that only causes him pain. My shadow does not cause pain in me but it is very strong. It takes me to thoughts that I do not understand but I think are important anyway.

It is not possible for me to say all of this to Maggie, I do not have the human words and she understands our speech only very little. I say what I can of it.

Then Maggie says a thing that troubles me. She asks does Kitik object if I talk human talk with her, does he wish me to stop. I do not understand at first why she asks this. Why would it be that Kitik would wish that I do or not do something that I do? When I ask her this she begins to say something about humans but then Jason comes with food and she stops and says we talk of it later.

When I think of this after the dark comes, though, I think I may know what she is going to say. I think it may be that among humans one will tell another to do or not do.

How can this be so? Why would any creature wish to command another, and why would the other accept such a command?

In the pod Altauk is leader. Some things the leader will do. He will say when we are to move and where we are to go when food does not come or when the water becomes colder, but that is only sense and all know this. He will say if one must go from the pod, as with Acou, but he will say why and others will do only if they agree.

And the leader will mate with many to give strong calves. Altauk might mate with me if I am with the pod still, except he knows that Kitik and I choose each other and he would not do this.

Leader is also leader only for some things. Altauk does not lead the hunt when I am there, I lead; I am better for this. I will never be leader, females must have calves and care for them and cannot be leader. Kitik may be leader if we ever return to the pod.

But Kitik is not leader now, and even if he were he would not tell me to do or not do. And he is not mother either, who must command calf so that it will learn and not make hurt to itself. But I am not calf. I am Minacou, and only I command Minacou.

I think it is not the same with humans, though. When Jerry is here Maggie is not as she is with Jason or others, she lets him lead. I know that she wishes him to give her the money that the humans care about so much. If he has money more than she and she wishes him to give her some, then perhaps that is how he may command and she must follow.

And Acou tells me that when he is with humans they command that he do things, and when he would not do they keep food from him and hurt him. Is this the way humans do with themselves too? I do not see it; Jerry does not do in this way with Maggie. And Maggie and Jason do not do in this way with us, even though they have food and we do not if they do not give it to us.

I must understand more of this way of humans. It troubles me much that any one may command another and the other must follow like calf. It is not a way of living that I wish.