Old Mr. Moorehouse

Old Mr. Moorehouse
Went to the whorehouse
To give his poor boner a lift.
But he grew apprehensive,
And whores are expensive,
And so his poor boner went pfft!

He went to the corner
To get some more cash;
When he came back,
The girls were all smashed.

He went to the diner
To get them some javas;
When he came back,
They wore balaclavas.

He went to the baker’s
To buy them some scones;
When he came back,
They were dressed up as nuns.

He went to the basement
To polish the floors;
When he came back upstairs,
They were wearing chadors.

He went to the sex shop
To purchase some clamps;
When he came back,
They all had the cramps.

He went to the drug store
To buy them some pills;
When he came back,
They were paying their bills.

He logged on to Facebook
To give them a “like”;
When he logged off,
The girls were on strike.

He telephoned Wall Street
To find them a broker;
When he hung up,
They were playing strip poker.

He went to the grocer’s
To get them some food;
When he returned,
They were totally nude.

He called his connection
To score them some drugs;
When he came back,
They were pinching their dugs.

He went to the jeweler’s
To buy them some bling;
When he came back,
They all laughed at his thing.

He went to the shelter
To get them a pup;
When he came back,
The girls tied him up.

They leashed him. They spanked him.
They trained him to bow.
“Bad dog!” said the hookers.
The man said, “Bow-wow!”