Chapter 1

Released from durance vile, I packed up the tipi, loaded the poles and said, “I wonder what trouble I can get into today?”

My mind ran wild.

Artie intercepted me as I pulled up in front of the office.

“You weren’t supposed to tear down by yourself,” he admonished.

Trouble number one.

“Who was going to help me?”

“Hairy paid me to do it,” Art said.

Hmmm.

He unlocked the office door, we both went inside ... he walked normally ... I limped.

It wasn’t a BAD limp ... just a little twinge now and then. Enough so I didn’t like standing on it. I could ... I didn’t like it. No single leg pink flamingo standing for me ... at least for a while. I leaned on the counter.

“What’s the tab?”

“I owe you, you don’t owe me. Hairy paid,” Art said. Art has a safe ... he twiddled the dial, popped it open and took out the days till drawer and an envelope ... KAREN.

He handed me the envelope. I felt it. The remains of a strap. Shit fuzzy. Damn Hairy ... I have money of my own. Nothing for it ... I wandered around picking out snacks for the trip ... it was the least I could do. Art had been great ... even if it WASN’T out of the kindness of his heart.

I say wandered ... I limped as I picked potato chips and Oreos and a handful of beef sticks ... and some jerky ... and bottled water ... ooh ... a Heath bar ... love me some toffee ... some Lik-M-Aid straws ... I grabbed a pack of Freedent and some Andy Capp’s Chips ... a pack of mixed JellyBellies ... and a bag of Little Debbie donuts ... the miniatures.

“Coffee ready?”

“No. Going heavy on the sugar?”

“I’ll need the buzz to keep me awake.”

Art took out a pad of paper and handed me a pen.

“Since you won’t stay ... write me down your itinerary. You got until seven tonight to call me ... you don’t call ... I send out the Guard.”

He handed me his card.

“Major? You’re a Major in the Montana National Guard?”

“For my sins.”

“Wait ... what’s this ... CMH... ?”

“Just a little something I picked up in the jungle,” Artie looked uncomfortable, “I don’t talk about it.”

“So ... when you say, Call out the Guard, you’re not kidding.”

“Nope ... you better call ... I can get in a little trouble ... but I’ll do it. You’ve been the best guest ... and I Like you. And there’s damn few I do.”

I was embarrassed. “Total me up, Major ... Sir.”

“Ten bucks ... and tax... 10.23.” he said, “Smart ass.” while counting me back my change.

“Hey ... Write!”

“Right ... got a map?”

So ... with the map unfolded on the counter and Art at my elbow I wrote.

I handed him the paper and ... while he was checking in the bread man ... I left.

South on 287 to Grayling to 191, south to West Yellowstone and through the park. I stopped at the old Hotel site and the Soldier station. Then it was on to Old Faithful. For a weekday it was crowded ... Sure enough ... Old Faithful was faithful. I oohed and awed like everybody else and hobbled back to the van.

“Hey lady. What’s with the poles?”

“I wasn’t sure if there was going to be bridges so I brought my own.”

“Huh?”

I pulled out and headed out on the South end of The Grand Loop and West Thumb. At West Thumb I turned left and drove around the lake to the East Entrance Road and 14/16. Sure, it’s pretty. Sure, it’s big. Sure, it’s mountains ... sure gets boring.

Until ... the Mansion. A log cabin writ large. I can’t remember when I saw a worse eyesore. Absolutely no architecture ... just a pile of logs with rooms. But it was interesting if only for the change. I stopped at the Cody Hotel. They had room ... and I took it. Cash works best if you’re a kid ... and I was a girl. I called Norris.

“Artie ... call off your dogs.”

“I haven’t called them out yet.” He asked, “Where are you?”

“Cody ... at the hotel. I’m going swimming.”

“Ankle sore?”

“That’s why I’m going to the pool.”

“Good ... don’t forget to call from home.”

“Yes, Major.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

Water ... warm water ... warm soaking water ... YES!

Except it wasn’t ... it was cool refreshing water, the kind of water a family wants after spending all day fighting about the air-conditioning as opposed to open windows ... I didn’t want cool ... I want heat.

Dripping at the desk, I asked about hot water ... and yes ... they had a spa ... it was extra...

“Like I care ... where is it?”

I got a key ... and directions.

The room had six hot water tubs. I had to fill one. When it was full and I could keep a foot in it for more than a second ... I gingerly lowered myself in.

“Aha ... ooo ... hot ... hot ... hot ... ooo ... ahh,” inch by inch, I lowered myself in water that was probably crockpot on low hot. It was wonderful. I laid back and my arm brushed a set of buttons. Hmm?

Buttons are for pushing.

The first one started the water moving ... and that felt good.

The second button started bubbles.

Bubbles and moving ... ahh.

The third one started a jet right under my ass.

Woo! Hoo!

I bumped the button ... faster jet and my ankle was over one on the other side, Oh. my. God.

I scooched back just a touch ... I was trying to get my foot situated ... honest!

My fingers never felt this good ... and I was off ... and nearly...

“Karen Post. You have a phone call.”

There was a speaker in the room?

I was almost ... but.

I shut it down and sloshed my way to the desk.

“I’m Karen Post.”

“You have a phone call. Do you wish to take it in your room?”

“I don’t wish to take it at all ... but I’m here. I’ll take it here.”

“Karen ... it’s Hairy.”

“What’s wrong?” I said. I hate foreboding shit.

“Nothing,”

“Right ... wait. You called Art?”

“Umh...”

“That’s a yes. What do you want? Daddy.”

“Of all possible cuts ... that’s the worst ... don’t call me daddy.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“I just wanted to be sure you were safe.”

“I was as safe as I wanted to be. You interrupted an experiment. I’d like to get back to it ... now!”

“Listen ... before you go ... we were flying over Burlington and spotted some cars ... Buy them, please.”

Sigh “Directions.”

“South of town ... one road past the Post Office turn left. Second crossroad ... turn right. Big white barn ... looks like metal. The cars are in the way-back. A black sedan and a pickup.”

“Yes, Daddy.

“You’ll do it?”

“Yes, Daddy, in the morning.”

“Good girl, bye.”

I thanked the clerk and headed back to the spa. The door was locked and I could hear splashing and laughter.

SHIT!

I hobbled back to my room.

I laid down and tried to see if my fingers could finish what the water had started.

“Yes.” No exclamation point. Damn it all.

I called the desk.

“Yes, Miss Post?”

“Room Service?”

“I’ll connect you.”

“Thank you.”

“Room Service.”

“I’m starving ... what’s ready ... or quick?”

She started rattling off the menu...

“Stop. I said, ready or quick.”

“We can toss a steak on the grill ... sear it and foot it to you.”

“Bloody?”

“If you like.”

“Steak, bloody ... about two minutes a side. Baked potato with loads of butter and sour cream. What vegetables? Something that’s not soggy.”

“Fresh Asparagus served with hot garlic butter ... the asparagus isn’t cooked.”

“Great ... send it up.”

Seven minutes later.