Chapter 5

The night we talked about our options, after those final words “I’m glad,” I just rolled over onto Fee and made love to her right there in the dim light of her room, in the soft covers of her bed, with the pittering sound of rain coming through the window. We had decided, without words, to finish discussing it all right then, instead wanting to immerse ourselves in our love and the pleasure we could give one another.

Fee moaned, low and happy, when I entered her that night. Her back arched and her nails dug into my shoulders.

Ever since I planted a child in her, she’s been more hungry and needy for our lovemaking than ever. She’s more deeply satisfied by slow, urgent lovemaking than the quick, hard couplings, and I’m happy to oblige her, because with patience, I now feel the same way. To me, it is more satisfying to give a long groan of release as I empty myself into Fee after an hour of slowly making love than “getting it all over with.”

Even though we didn’t really want to think about it anymore that night, there were things we soon needed to think about, and decisions to make.

It was almost by accident and a spontaneous decision that had us telling at least my parents some of what was going on.

We were at the breakfast table one morning a few weeks after our conversation, eating cereal. Dad was reading the paper, and Mum was drinking her coffee--not being a breakfast sort of person.

‘Milk please,’ Fee said, reaching out. Mum passed it to her.

‘Fiona, dear,’ she said absently, ‘it looks as though you’ve been putting on some weight lately. You haven’t been eating too many snack foods, have you? Or not gone out walking enough?’ It was an innocent enough question. Fee had not had any complications with the pregnancy so far; no morning sickness, or swollen ankles. We had even gone for the ultrasound at three months, showing no abnormalities. She had had a little more frequent cravings for fatty and sugary things, which we tried hard to curb, but that would have been seen as natural for a teenager anyway. Besides her rounding belly, there had been no other outward indication of her condition. Eager to defend her and deflect the touchy topic, I said, ‘No, Mum. I’ve made sure Fee’s eating right and just the other day we--’

‘About that,’ Fee said calmly, taking another bite of her cornflakes and raspberries. ‘I’ve been eating perfectly fine lately, Auntie. Domini has helped me work on that, and he was just about to say we went walking quite far the other day and intend to again today. There’s a very simple explanation for my weight gain, it’s only because I’m pregnant.’

‘Well, that explains it,’ Mum said perfectly normally, taking more of her coffee. And then she went perfectly white. ‘Ah,’ she said.

Dad’s newspaper lowered slowly. He had a very normal expression on his face.

‘We will discuss this when I’ve finished the paper,’ he said gravely, bringing it up again and shaking it out rather decisively.

Fee seemed quite normal. She finished her cornflakes and sat there sipping milk while we waited.

I, on the other hand, was a bit of a mess. My palms were all clammy, my breath caught in my throat, sweat dripped down my forehead, and there was no way the rest of that Weetabix was going down my esophagus. I was a little cross and confused that Fee had said anything without discussing it first--and I didn’t know what else she’d say either.

Mum looked a little shaken, but kept on with her coffee.

Finally, my father was finished with the newspaper. He folded it precisely, set it on the table, and removed his glasses. Then he looked at Fee.

‘So, Fiona. Please explain yourself.’

Fee looked up for the first time since she’d said anything, looked my father in the eye, and said determinedly, ‘I’m nearly four months along. I’m sorry, Uncle, but I’m not going to kill it if that’s what you’re going to say.’

‘Not at all,’ Dad replied measuredly. ‘Whose is it?’

‘Mine,’ Fee said, jutting her chin out.

‘I know that. Who is the other half of this child?’

‘I’m in love with him, and that’s all you need to know.’

‘Is he also in love with you?’

‘Yes, he is.’

‘Enough to marry you, with or without the child you’ve created together?’

‘W-ell, yes,’ Fee said, just now hitting a wall. ‘He would be, but, you see, that part’s a little complicated...’

‘Another girl, is there? Who IS he, Fee?’

‘No! Not another girl--’

‘He does love her,’ I interrupted. ‘More than--anything. He would marry her if he could.’

All eyes in the room swivelled toward me. Fee’s mouth was hanging open--apparently she hadn’t expected me to say anything at all.

‘You know this fellow, then, Domini? Who is it? One of your friends? Tyler? Eric?’ Dad pressed.

‘Those guys don’t deserve a girl like Fee,’ I said proudly, almost laughing at the thought. ‘They’re not ready for girlfriends.’

‘Then who?’

‘Me,’ I said.

I had been afraid that I would pass out when I said that one word, but instead I remained conscious and kept my eyes on my father.

Sighing, Dad reached for his glasses, forgetting he had already put them down. Realizing this, he picked them up, huffed on the lens, and began polishing it them on his shirt.

‘I was afraid that was the case,’ he said tiredly, putting the glasses back down.

‘What?!’

It was our turn to be shocked.

‘How--?’

‘I have heard doors closing downstairs at ungodly hours of the night for some time now--not to mention the gentle and persistent creaking of bedsprings for more than just turning over in the night. But I never heard anyone come in or leave the house.’

‘Oh,’ Fee said.

My mother was still silent.

‘I’m glad it’s you,’ Dad continued, which was the next surprise. ‘You’ll do right by her and always take care of her, Domini. I know you will.’

‘But--’ I sputtered. ‘I can’t marry her! It’s illegal!’

‘You don’t know, then?’ Mum spoke for the first time. ‘I thought for certain you knew, if you’d been having sex. You were willing to risk it even if you thought you were actual cousins?’ Gaping, we stared at my mother.

‘We’re NOT?!’

‘Well, you are and you aren’t,’ she sighed.

‘How does that work?’ I demanded.

Mum gave me a look.

‘Hang on,’ she said. ‘It’s coming up.’

She looked at Fee.

‘Your father--my brother--is only my half brother. He was born of a different father than me, and when my mother was a very young age. He was put into foster care and adopted very early on, and got a new surname and family. It was only until you were born, Fee, that he wondered about his biological family, and came looking for me--since our mother is dead, with no siblings, and our fathers scattered to the wind, I was his only remaining blood kin.