You Can't Always Get What You Want
Copyright© 2017 by George Foxx
Chapter 4
Romantic Sex Story: Chapter 4 - We meet up with our hapless hero, Uncle George again. The plot and characters are completely different, and not connected to other Uncle George stories. In this story, horny younger girls see older men, including Uncle George, as the cure to their perpetually aroused condition. Uncle George has to deal with a whole different set of issues and problems. As usual, he digs a deep hole for himself. Will Uncle George overcome the problems he's made for himself? Will the girls find satisfaction?
Caution: This Romantic Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/ft ft/ft Consensual BiSexual Heterosexual Fiction Interracial Black Female White Male Oriental Female Cream Pie First Oral Sex Petting Safe Sex Size Small Breasts Prostitution Slow
“I have another friend that I don’t ever introduce girls to. He’s had a tough time with girls. He married a girl from Thailand back when we were stationed there. They were actually crazy in love and completely compatible. They were disgustingly happy and always huggy and kissy all the time. Then she got sick and died. He was a mess.
“He rushed into finding a girlfriend because he was so lonely and so torn up. That girl was a scammer and pretended to love him until she could steal all his money. He has lived alone since then. I think you two might like each other. Ed knows how to live in the provinces and never have anyone wonder about him or what he’s doing. Supposedly you are old enough according to Philippine law, so if you guys like each other, you could make each other happy and he could keep you safe from people who want to boss you around and tell you that you are too young,” I said.
“Like you said, Daddy George, a man and a woman never know until they are face to face. There is no way to predict whether he looks just right to me and I smell good enough to eat to him. Please put us alone together in the same room, so we can find out,” Sandy said.
I called up Ed and explained a little about the situation with Sandy. Ed said, “Well, she’s almost thirteen, after all, and that’s been a historical age of initiation into the tribe as an adult woman. I’d love to meet her. I don’t know where this is coming from, George. I’m a hermit, and this doesn’t sound at all like me talking! For some strange reason, this is exactly what I want to say.”
“Sandra, you are going to have to break contact with your mom for a while. She is going to have to start feeling guilty enough about being so sanctimonious with you when you were feeling like you were dying from being horny and she was getting laid as often as she wanted. I think you might have to be twenty-one and married, probably with a baby of your own or at least pregnant, before she can take you seriously and treat you like an adult,” I said.
“I think you are right Daddy George. If my mom or Juan come looking for me, please tell them you have no idea where I am, OK guys?” Sandy said.
I got dressed and drove Sandy out to the province where Ed was living. It took us until noon the next day to get to Ed’s house. Sandy slept a lot of the time.
I took Sandy to the door and introduced her to Ed when he answered my knock. “Should I stay for a while until the awkwardness starts to go away?” I asked.
Sandy smiled and said, “If I’m going to be a grownup, I guess I better start now.”
Ed said, “It’s been so long since I even talked to anyone for more than 10 seconds, I think you better stay in case I freeze up.”
Sandy laughed and went over to Ed. She took his hand and led him to the sala set (living room furniture, usually a matching couch and chair or two) and sat next to him on the couch. “Don’t be afraid Ed. Yes, I’m a VERY horny girl, but I promise I won’t bite, unless you want me to,” Sandy said with a laugh.
Ed smiled and asked, “What are you looking for Sandy?”
“A man who is brave enough to risk being with and making love to a girl who technically is old enough to consent. We all know the law is whatever the policeman says it is at the moment, so there is some risk, especially if a policeman is crooked and wants to blackmail you. Out here, if we are careful, it shouldn’t be a big problem.
“I would like a man who thinks I’m sexy and lusts after me. I don’t need pity or a favor. I want a man who thinks he is getting a hot girl he wants to love and take care of and make her happy as well as fuck her little brains out.
“I’m talking about a man who can imagine himself falling in love with me, marrying me when I’m old enough, and being my husband for the rest of our lives. I know my emotions will make me fall in love with the man who is taking care of me and keeping me sexually satisfied. Even before I fall in love though, I will treat him better than any girl ever has, take better care of him, and give him all the sex he wants, any way he wants it.
“When we are both sure we are in love and I’m old enough, I want to have his babies,” Sandy explained.
“How do you feel about the idea of me taking the role of your father, and taking care of you? I’d make sure you got your education so you could take care of yourself if I got too sick to take care of you later on,” Ed asked.
“I really like the idea of my daddy teaching me to make love and keeping me satisfied. I’d adore making my daddy happy and satisfied too. If I’m really bad, I suppose you might have to spank me, but I’m normally not a naughty girl. My mom hasn’t had to spank me since I was five, so it shouldn’t be something you need to do, unless you like spanking little girls. Do you like to pull down a girl’s panties, lift up her skirt and paddle her bare bottom with your bare hand Ed?” Sandy said.
“Wow, you know a lot for an almost thirteen year-old girl and you are not shy at all!” Ed said.
“If I want you to treat me like a woman, I better act grown up enough so you know I’m not just a silly little girl who is all talk. When I say I want to take care of you so well, you’ll know it’s the best any girl has ever done things for you, I’m completely serious and totally prepared to do anything and everything you like, and as much as you want,” Sandy said.
Ed grinned at her and said, “I’d like you to come and sit on my lap so you can see if you’d like to be my little girl.”
Sandy went to him immediately and sat on his lap. She settled onto Ed’s lap. She burst out in a fit of giggles. She turned and looked into Ed’s eyes. “Do you really like me, or do you just think I’m sexy?” She asked.
“I am not complicated or kinky. I don’t have any terrible secrets. I don’t ever want to spank you unless you’ve done something really terrible and we can’t talk it out because I can tell you aren’t sorry. Now as you grow up, if you find out there is something kinky you need, just tell me and we will see what we can do. That’s much better than you acting out and me trying to guess what you need. I’ll take being your daddy seriously and do my best to take care of you. That means we might not make love tonight, or for however long it takes until we agree it won’t hurt you. I’ll do my best to take the edge off for you until I’m sure your body can handle penetration,” Ed said.
“Yes, I notice from the big bump I’m sitting on, you need to be careful not to hurt a girl until she’s used to being filled up with a log. I promise not to pout or act out until we can deflower me without ripping me in two,” Sandy said.
“That’s why I asked you to sit on my lap. Are you sure you’re not scared?” Ed asked.
“Well Daddy George is about as big, and my sister thinks he does her better than anyone else in the world possibly could, so I’m guessing that if we work together so it doesn’t hurt too bad our first time, I’ll really like you being big when we get used to each other and you start pounding my pussy,” Sandy said.
“If you treat me good and you feel like I treat you the way you like, I can see us falling in love and having a happy, simple life together, out here in the provinces. No grocery stores out here. No boxed or canned food. You have to kill the chicken, pull the feathers off, and clean the guts out before you cook it,” Ed told her.
“I think I can do it Ed. Are you willing to try? Am I pretty enough and sexy enough that you won’t feel sorry five or ten years from now?” Sandy asked.
“Honey if we get along and we are fucking every day, neither of us will ever be sorry we got together,” Ed declared.
Sandy turned to face Ed. She put her arms around him and kissed him on the lips. Finally Sandy ran out of breath and they broke the kiss. They looked in each other’s eyes and smiled at each other.
“You can go now Daddy George. Ed’s kiss told me everything I need to know. We’ll be just fine,” Sandy said.
“I didn’t know you liked me this much George. Thank you. You just may have saved my life. You certainly picked the perfect girl to bring to see me. She reminds me of Pon in some ways,” Ed said.
“Oh you’ll be in for a lot of adjustments and changes as you learn to be a teenage girl’s daddy and her lover at the same time. You may curse me some days, but I think you each have something the other one needs. Ed, if it’s too much for you, call me and I’ll come get her. Sandy, if it doesn’t work and you don’t get the butterflies in your tummy, call me and I’ll take care of you myself if you’d like me for your daddy,” I said.
“Oh I’ve already got butterflies in my tummy Daddy George. I think Ed is going to make an excellent daddy for me and that I’m going to be an excellent daughter for him. We are going to make each other very, very happy,” Sandy said.
I drove back to Manila, hoping both Ed and Sandy got what they needed from each other. I had to admit I was mad at myself for thinking about what was good for Sandy first and not offering to rupture her hymen for her. Of course with both Jan and Shane as my lovers, I wouldn’t have been able to convince anyone that I was offering to pop her cherry for Sandy’s own good. If I did something like that, I knew I’d be sleeping alone for a good long time.
The first thing Shane said to me was, “You should have let me go with you daddy. Now I’m going to be worried about Sandy.”
“You don’t need to worry sweetheart. Ed and Sandy liked each other right away, just like we did. Sandy told me she had the wanting a cute boy kind of butterflies in her tummy already. Ed wants to give Sandy everything she needs, but he is a good man, and he will be careful and make sure not to hurt her. He’s built thicker than average, and he’s used to being careful not to hurt a girl. His wife was from Thailand and she was a little girl all her life, like you and Sandy are, so she’s probably going to love it when he’s sure she’s ready, because his late wife Pon sure did,” I replied.
“I can’t believe you are still talking, Shane or that you still have your clothes on daddy. Get naked, get in bed, and take care of your daughters. We have been missing you terribly, daddy,” Jan demanded.
I checked Shane’s face. She stopped frowning and said, “Thanks for taking care of my sister daddy. For a while I wanted you to just fuck her and bring her into our family. Then I realized that if mom wanted to make it rough on Juan, he could make your life hell, so it was better for her to run away and disappear.”
When I was sure Shane was OK, I stripped and enthusiastically jumped on Jan. We were making out passionately when Shane grabbed me and turned my head toward her. “I need some too,” Shane said, then she began kissing me, thrusting her tongue between my parted lips.
The three of us made love in some way and some combination, until all of us were worn out and we fell asleep in the middle of a monumental wet spot.
About three months after school started the three of us were enjoying a lazy Sunday morning. We had fucked each other senseless and had all been so horny for each other we just couldn’t stop loving on whoever was horny too.
We were lying in bed cuddling and caressing each other and making out from time to time.
Jan said, “Remember my thirteenth birthday party, when you brought your friend Von to the party? I think he was crushing on me and thinking that if you wouldn’t make love to me, he’d be glad to.”
“He told me something to that effect,” I said.
“I know he thinks he likes having a different girl every night, but I think if he had a teenager who wanted him, he might change his mind,” Jan said.
“Do you have a hot girlfriend who is lusting after an old American?” I asked.
“As a matter of fact I do. The prettiest girl in our school is just waking up sexually. She’s a friend, and she was asking me if it was better with a guy or a girl. I told her it all depended on what you liked best, and the only way to find out is to try. So I hooked her up with another girlfriend who is bi, but really mostly lesbian. So they did it a few times, and then Veronica came to talk to me again, and said eating pussy and getting off was nice, but she still felt unsatisfied, like something was missing, even when Sylvia ate her all night and made her cum like hundreds of times.
“So Veronica said her auntie had a Canadian boyfriend who was always really sweet to her auntie. Someplace along the line Veronica decided she wanted her first time at least to be with a white guy.
“Since you are TAKEN and Ed has his hands full being Sandy’s daddy until they agree she’s old enough to fuck him, I thought of Von. I got kind of tingly when he was looking at me like he wanted to do me on the spot in front of my mom and all the party guests. Of course I’m a little slut and any good-looking man staring at me like he wants to have me for dinner instead of a steak makes me tingly. Don’t worry though, even though I’m a slut, my heart and my pussy belong to my daddy.
“So what do you think daddy, do you think Von would like a chance with the next Junior Miss Valenzuela? She just turned fifteen, like me. She’s very, very pretty. She has perfect hair, even longer than Shane’s and mine. She has big tits. Does Von like big tits? Anyway Veronica is tall and slim and her hips aren’t wide, so on her, D Cup tits look like she’s Jessica Rabbit. She’s a sweet girl, although she has been sad because she feels so lonely all the time. Sometimes she acts bitchy to boys, but then I don’t blame her. If boys acted as ridiculous to me as they do to her, I’d be bitchy with them too,” Jan said.
“Well, I’ll have to ask. You girls have found out I’m not a mind reader, and I can’t read guys’ minds either.” I replied.
I called Von on Skype. “Hey Ugly, tired of the girls on P. Burgos and Craigslist yet?” I asked.
“Why, whose ugly sister do you want to fix me up with?” Von asked.
“No sisters. Jan sensed you might like some fresh, young stuff when you were raping her with your eyes at her thirteenth birthday party. She has a school friend who wants her first guy to be a white guy. She is horny and motivated, and by the way, she is a beauty pageant contestant and likely winner,” I told Von.
“Why is she interested in old white guys?” Von asked
Jan came up behind me and waved at Von. “People treat her differently because she is beautiful. I’m serious about that. She’s in Pia Wurtzbach’s league, just younger, every bit as curvy and sexy, but with bigger tits. People are afraid she will think they aren’t good enough, so people are distant with her, and she’s terribly lonely. Pinoy boys have no class, and they say very inappropriate things to her. She has an auntie who had a Canadian boyfriend who was sweet to her auntie, and so Veronica thinks she’d like her first lover, and maybe long term boyfriend to be a white guy who is old enough to know how to treat her.
“Hey, she is a sweet girl. Do you know how to take a sweet girl on a date and not treat her like she’s a whore? I will tell you that if you are nice to her and she likes you, it’s 95% certain you’ll take her home and take her to bed, but that 5% will kick in if you treat her like a whore, a slut, or a sure thing.
“Oh, by the way, how’s your self-control? She has D Cup tits, and if you stare at them before you get to know her enough for her to get turned on by you appreciating her figure, that 5% chance might kick in. She’s just waking up sexually, and she’s not a full on slut like I am. You had me creaming my panties when you did me with your eyes at my birthday party, by the way,” Jan said.
“God I love Filipinas! They know how to receive and appreciate a heartfelt compliment from a man.
“Yes Mrs. Easy, I can and will behave like a civilized person. Invite us both over to your place, and introduce us please,” Von said.
The next Friday night Veronica and Von came to our place. We introduced them and then ignored them. We kind of forgot to be discrete, and Veronica caught me making out with both my girls.
“Damn Jan, now I know why your complexion is so clear, and you too Shane. So you live with and hook up with a grown man! Wow! What’s it like? Do you mind sharing? Tell me EVERYTHING!” Veronica said.
“It’s a long story Vee. It really isn’t fair to Von to talk about us. Why don’t you guys go out and have like a date, if you both want to, and Vee, you can come back another time and we’ll tell you all about us. The thing is, if you want us to be discrete about what we say about you, you have to cross your heart, hope to die SWEAR not to talk about us,” Jan said.
Von always was a good-looking guy, and Veronica did want to go out with him. She was as beautiful as Jan had told him, and not an airhead, so Von wanted to go out too.
Von escorted her to his car and opened the door for her. She gave him a big smile as she got in. Von got in the driver’s seat and started up the car. He asked Veronica to pick the radio station. She picked one that played music, no rap, and mostly songs in English. Von smiled.
“What’s our cover story if we run into someone you know?” Von asked.
“Well, you could be an official from the Miss Filipina USA pageant or you could be my uncle from the U.S. Which are you comfortable with?” Veronica answered.
“Let’s go with uncle, in case you like me enough for this to be a more than one time thing,” Von said.
“Uncle Von it is then,” Veronica chuckled.
“Do I know you well enough to call you Vee, or are we still stopped at Veronica?” Von asked.
“That’s a clever way to ask me what I think so far without putting me on the spot. It takes me a while to know what I think. Once I make up my mind, I’m full speed ahead. I don’t tease, I don’t know how to flirt, and I definitely don’t play games.
“So far I see lots of potential. We just have to wait to see if I get butterflies in my tummy or if I feel any other signs,” Veronica said and gave Von a grin, not a pageant smile.
“You have every reason to be confident Veronica. I am visually entranced. I like that you are an intelligent young woman and are not afraid to speak English,” Von said.
“Ah, do you like my face as much as you appreciate my rack?” Veronica said, and gave Von a smirk.
“OH my, I was warned, but I have to admit I wasn’t prepared for how magnetic your figure is, and I guess I haven’t been successful pretending I didn’t notice that you are more lovely and desirable than Venus herself,” Von said.
Veronica gave Von a wicked grin and said, “Call me Vee. I like you looking at me like a woman you want to take to bed, not someone to put a crown on and stick up on a pedestal. I am a Filipina after all, and to us, a man’s interest and desire is a compliment, not an insult. I enjoy being admired, but I don’t want to be on a pedestal, because with the right man, I want to be touched and loved and bedded.
“I had to tease you a little to see how you’d react. I’m very new at this Von, and I can’t read people as well as girls who date a lot. I have to get you to talk more and react to me so I can find out more about you than just that you are a good-looking American man who can afford nice clothes and a fairly new car,” Veronica said.
“Thank goodness for Filipinas. In America, a man who appreciates female beauty is generally out of luck if he can’t act like a sexless done,” Von said.
“Considering that you already know a little something about what’s been on my mind lately, it is reassuring for me to know you are interested in my body and can visualize us having sex. After all, confidence is very sexy,” Veronica, said.
“You know being older helps a man act like he’s confident even when he’s shaking in his boots. I’m more at the mere mortal dreaming a goddess will find him interesting enough to gift him with her smile, and desperately hoping she decides to give him much more stage,” Von said.
“Oh I wasn’t accusing you of thinking I was a sure thing. I just like it that you aren’t afraid of me and can dare to dream. I’ve been doing a little dreaming of my own Von.
“Lets forget about this date thing and just go to your place. Then we can find out if your body and my body like each other,” Veronica said.
“Are you sure about this Vee? I want that more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, but some of what you’ve been talking to Jan about is irreversible you know,” Von said.
“It hasn’t killed Jan or Shane. In fact they look healthier and prettier than ever before. They always seem calm and happy, so something must be agreeing with them,” Veronica said.
“OK, that’s great. I want you to know Vee that if you get scared or change your mind or decide you don’t like me enough, just tell me as soon as you get that feeling, and I’ll stop right away. We will only do as much or as little as you want to do. I have never, ever forced myself on a girl, and I never will,” Von said.
“I know dear. Don’t worry. I’ve already decided, and you’ll like my decision,” Veronica said.
She reached over and rested her hand lightly on Von and gently squeezed his thigh.
“You aren’t worried I’m too young for you and all your friends will think I’m not good enough for you?” Veronica asked.
“No Vee, my only American friend has been living with and fucking two fifteen year olds. His girlfriends introduced us, so he certainly isn’t going to judge me. He has this saying, The heart wants what the heart wants. Both of us like young women, but we don’t go crazy about it unless the girl in question is enthusiastic about wanting us. Jan had been wanting him since she was eleven and actively trying to get laid since she was twelve, so George is definitely going to understand why age doesn’t seem to matter when I look at and think about you, Vee,” Von said.
“So if our bodies are compatible, can you see yourself in a long term, exclusive relationship with a MUCH younger woman?” Veronica asked.
“Definitely,” Von replied.
“You don’t think you’d miss seeing a different girl every night?” Veronica questioned him.
“I can’t afford a professional every night. I’ve been thinking an enthusiastic amateur might be better for me in the long run,” Von said.
“I think that given your past, I’d want you to use protection for any test drives, and save bareback for after we made decisions and promises. Could you live with that?” Veronica asked.
“Given my past, I think that’s a very sensible condition. I don’t mind at all, and I’m very impressed that you thought about protecting yourself,” Von said.
“I have an implant that protects me against pregnancy, but getting knocked up isn’t life threatening most of the time. I’m not being judgmental of you or saying anything about your hygiene, habits, or character. It’s just about protecting myself,” Veronica said.
“It’s really OK Vee. No offense taken. You don’t need to explain or justify yourself. It must be tough being in high school and having all these adult pageant people trying to make you think you have to do things for them,” Von said.
“You understand! They are never as nice as you are. I am feeling more and more that I was right about you, and we are going to work out just great,” Veronica said.
Von lived in a house in what had once been an upscale subdivision. Time and fads had made it mostly a place where older college professors or retired executives lived.
The gate guard saluted as Von drove into the subdivision. Veronica smiled. Von stopped his car outside a metal gate. He got out of the car and opened the gate, drove inside, then locked the gate before he put the car in the garage.
He turned off the car, got out, and opened the door for Veronica. He gave her his hand, and she took it. Normally she was very careful to make sure her skirt always covered her as she was getting in or out of a car, but tonight she was too busy meeting Von’s eyes. This time, his eyes were locked on hers, not on her impressive chest or the beaver shot when Veronica got out of the car.
Standing so close to Von, Veronica felt very small, soft, and vulnerable. He seemed very tall, even though he was really only six inches taller. Her arms started to go around him at exactly the same instant his arms began to encircle her. Veronica turned her face up to Von. He looked down into her eyes, and tenderly kissed her lips.
Veronica shuddered. The butterflies in her tummy instantly made her plan for tonight startlingly real. She felt fear at a low level because he aroused her, and that meant she was giving him her virginity tonight.
The kiss was brief, but even after it ended, the memory of his lips touching hers burned on her lips and in her mind.
Von smiled and took her hand. He closed the car door and led her to the door of his house. Veronica was committed to following through on her plan, still going into a man’s house and being alone with him was scary for the fifteen year-old girl.
Von could feel her trembling, and he smiled down on her. He gently kissed her again and whispered, “Remember darling, we will only do what YOU want to do.”
Veronica’s romantic heart soared. Von had called her “Darling!”
She pressed her five foot seven inch body tightly against his six foot one inch frame and looked up at Von. “Kiss me again, and this time kiss me like you mean it,” Veronica demanded.
Von grinned at the lovely girl and kissed her as if his soul desperately needed to commune directly with hers. In fact it did. A life without emotional entanglements and sex purchased from whores and escorts had left Von’s soul so hungry for its true mate that he would soon have been emotionally dead if the unlikely pair had never found each other.
Veronica felt his hunger and knew it was more than simple lust for her body. She held him tight and whispered, “It’s going to be fine baby. I’m young, but I know what you need. I’ll always be strong for you and I’ll always take care of you.”
“Will you always love me too?” Von asked.
“We don’t know that yet baby. Things look favorable, but we can’t know for sure yet. Be patient for a little bit baby so I can be honest with you and really mean it when I tell you I love you,” Veronica said.
“OK Vee. You pass the test. I know now I can trust you not to jerk me around,” Von said.
“Brat! A gentleman would never test a lady like that,” Veronica said.
“I’m sorry dear. I’ll tell you how I got so broken if we click and are going to be together. I didn’t get messed over as bad as Ed, but it did leave a scar. It was the old pain talking, not the me that’s falling in love with you,” Von said.
“OK, just don’t do it again baby. Try to remember that I’m not the person from your past. I want to be on your side as well as by your side. I want to be your future,” Veronica said.
“OK sweetheart, I’ll do my best not to be my old suspicious self with you,” Von replied.
“Von, we could sit on the couch and make out and then start petting and get each other all worked up and rip each other’s clothes off and run for the bedroom, but that’s not how I want to make love with you. If we were petting I’d give you a free pass to all the bases, and ultimately I want you to hit a home run with me baby.
“Let’s just pretend we are already living together or married, and just go to the bedroom and undress each other and get in bed. Then we can start kissing and petting so we don’t have to break the mood, except for you to put a condom on before you enter me. Is that OK with you baby?” Veronica asked.
“That’s fine with me honey. Wild, uncontrolled passion might be pretty scary for you tonight. We’ll save that for our honeymoon, if we are lucky and things go that direction for us,” Von said.
Von took Veronica’s hand and led her to his bedroom. He turned on a soft light and switched on some soft music. He took her in his arms and they swayed to the music, pressing their bodies together.
Von bent down and kissed her. Veronica felt like all the blood drained from her head except for the pulse pounding in her ears. Her nipples engorged, making her feel heat burning in her breasts while heat was growing and moisture was dripping in her vagina.
Veronica reached up and started taking Von’s shirt off. She struggled and poked him in the ribs, saying, “Please help me or get me a ladder, tall man.”
Von took off his shirt and threw it like a jump shot into his clothes hamper. He turned Veronica around with her back facing him, and he unhooked the hook and eye and unzipped the zipper on the back of her dress. Veronica held her hands straight up in the air and Von carefully lifted the dress up and over her head. He hung up the dress before coming back to stand in front of Veronica. He took her in his arms and pulled her close. They kissed again.
Veronica knelt and untied Von’s shoes. She removed them and put them under the bed.
Von took her white satin camisole off. He liked the eggshell lace trim.
Veronica took Von’s belt off.
Von removed her half-slip. It was white satin, trimmed in eggshell lace, matching the camisole exactly. One of the things Veronica had learned as she worked her way up in the ranks of pageant contestants was the importance of wearing the correct, and perfectly matching undergarments with each outfit. She could see that Von found the camisole and slip sexy and arousing, even though the garments were only intended to prevent backlighting from making her dress transparent. Veronica filed the information away. She smiled, labeling the imaginary folder in her memory, “Pleasing my man, Lesson 1.”