Chapter 8

As with the other Norma’s, I went up to Doreen and explained her emotional need in the song. She listened carefully and when I was finished, she said, “Thanks.”

Being a song that nobody but Audrey and myself knew, I motioned Maurice to start ‘Dying of Boredom’...

JIM
“The problem of
marrying a girl with a plan,
Is that she might not
Have, a place for a man,
When I first met Norma,
my sweet Norma Jeane
She was so young...
and just barely fifteen.”

NORMA
“The boys that I met
growing up as a girl
Called me cute,
called me pretty –
I could practically hurl
But I met Jim while staying
at the Goddard’s, one day
And he walked up to me and
Knew ... just what to say...”

JIM
“I told her how pretty
and silly she was
And how the sunlight
would bounce off her face.
She believed every word
that I said to her then
But now she’s
always on my case

NORMA
“I’m dying of boredom;
he’s like all of the rest
He can’t keep his hands
off my butt, or my chest
I’m dying of boredom;
tell me what can I do?
If I hold out much longer,
he’ll think I’m a shrew”

JIM
“We were married
for four years,
and it wasn’t so bad
I think she was
beginning to like me.
But it got to the point –
that I wanted out
And her words to me
were, ‘Jim, bite me!’”

NORMA
“I’m dying of boredom;
he’s like all of the rest
He can’t keep his hands
off my butt, or my chest
What’s that expression,
‘get back on the horse’?
The only thing left...
to do was divorce.”

JIM
“Divorce wasn’t
something I wanted to do,
But Norma Jeane
Just wouldn’t listen
I pleaded to her
that it didn’t feel right
I told her that I...
had a vision”

NORMA
“I’m dying of boredom;
he’s like all of the rest
He can’t keep his hands
off my butt, or my chest”

“I’ve decided that all
I can do is move on.
Now my life’s just a bore
and I constantly yawn.”

Everyone got up and made noise for Doreen, especially her six family members who were also in the show.

After the rehearsal, Joseph Michaels, Doreen’s uncle came up to Audrey and me.

“Richard, I got a work assignment in another state that I cannot refuse, and it’s in conflict with the entire run of the show. I’m sorry, but I have to back out. Fortunately, my understudy is quite capable,” he said turning to leave.

“Audrey, who’s his understudy?” I turned and asked.

“You are, you big idiot?” she said.

“Oh, crap! I hadn’t looked at or memorized anything yet,” I said.

“Darleen, come here please?” my wife said.

“Yes, Audrey – what’s going on?”

“My idiot savant husband has just become Johnny Hyde for the run of the show. Can you stay and help him run lines?”

“Sure, Wow – this is going to be a gas, especially when I get to be Marilyn?” Darleen said.

“Relax dear, he’ll be available, but no touching, except on stage.”

“Oooh, I get to touch him on stage,” Darleen said with a giggle.

I was blushing big time as my wife gave me a look that could kill.

“You know what I meant, dear?”

“I know, I was kidding too,” Darleen said, giving me a wink.

I walked up to Darleen and said, “Will your father have a problem with me and you singing and ... touching on stage?”

“I’m of age,” Darlene said.

“I don’t know if he is or not,” Audrey said, making us all laugh.

We all sat down, and Darleen and I went over our scene before and after “Why?”

I hadn’t noticed that Maurice was still there, so we got up on the stage and decided to go through it together, with Audrey placing me on stage where both Jim and Joseph used to be.

“Do both, Darleen – the one with Jim and the one with Johnny!”

“All right,” she said, stepping into position. Audrey motioned Maurice to start. This is my favorite song of the show...

{RK: Mine too!}

JIM
“Why don’t I know
that she loves me?
Why don’t I know,
that she cares?
Oh, why don’t I know that
she wanted to have kids?
And why don’t I know why
she colors her brown hair,
And why don’t I know that
she loves -- Somebody else.”

(Darlene had come over and did her blocking, which put her with my arms around her waist. I saw Audrey barely holding back a smirk.)

NORMA
“Why Don’t I know
that I love him?
Why don’t I know
why I care?
Oh-Oh, why don’t I know
if he’ll come back to me?
Why don’t I know,
if I’ll be happier as a blonde.
Why don’t I know
why he’s going off to war?
He loves his country –
more than me.”

TOGETHER
“Why, tell my why
should I stay here,
Why not just move
somewhere else.
Oh Oh Why, must I try
to live like apple pie,
I might as well pack up,
and move off to Shanghai.”

NORMA
“Oh WHY”

JIM
“Oh WHY”

TOGETHER
“Goodbye?”

We did the blocking which was to hold each other’s hand and pull away until we were off stage. Maurice never stopped as we got into the same position only now I’m Johnny Hyde and she’s Marilyn Monroe. I had found out that Johnny, despite being 31 years older than Marilyn, had left his wife to pursue her. Audrey had given Joseph some latitude during their part of the song, to mildly hold her lovingly. I was reticent ... but I was ready.

JOHNNY
“Why tell me why,
you hate me
Making you sing
all by yourself.
Why tell me why,
the notes, just fly by,
All the way – to the sky –
we’ll get high – while I lie
Oh, Why-yy-yy-yy,
tell me why?”