Chapter 38

December, the same year.

The Telegraph. 14th December.

BELFAST CALM AGAIN.

For the first time in nearly a year, a week has gone by in the city without members of the Patrol being directly targeted by either republican or loyalist insurgents. The picture seems to be much the same elsewhere in Northern Island, where it seems the terrorists are on the retreat.

Daily Express. 15th December.

MORE SECURITY PATROLLERS DEPLOYED.

The tiny security patrol presence in Northern Ireland is to be increased, it was revealed in a statement by the Minister for State Security, Gareth Boase. Boase, who recently survived an assassination attempt that claimed the life of his close friend and colleague Stan Harewood, told the Express yesterday that the Security patrol had been doing such a good job in Belfast and Londonderry fighting the terrorists, that he was rewarding them by sending another 500 men and women to root out the last few remaining individuals.

Daily Mirror. 19th December.

GOT HIM!

Arch traitor Adnan Hussan, who has been on the run ever since he broke out of prison almost exactly three years ago, has been captured in the North West of England. Two Safety Patrollers in the seaside town of Southport spotted him strolling arrogantly along the famous Lord Street, and arrested him. Adnan, who once claimed to be an admiral in the British navy, and falsely claimed British citizenship on the grounds that he was born in the UK, is a Muslim and has been wanted for the murder and attempted murder of a large number of real British citizens. As a reminder to our loyal readers, the law was changed three years ago so that only British born whites can claim British citizenship, and only if they, their father and their grandfather were all born on British soil, and they are not Jewish, Moslem or certain other proscribed psuedo-religions. Last year, this law was made retrospective, and so far over seven million people have had citizenship they were not entitled to, removed. Loyal citizens are requested to report to the Patrol, anyone claiming citizenship who does not deserve this precious status.

Daily Telegraph. 21st December.

MORE PRICE RISES.

Graham Thorn yesterday told the commons of his immense sorrow that he was being forced, once again, to raise the price of basic foodstuffs. This was, he said, entirely down to farmers refusing to grow food, and hauliers refusing to transport what is produced to the towns and cities where it is needed. In his speech he mocked those claiming that it was his fault by pointing out that he wasn’t the one refusing to grow or move the food. Duty on fuel is to rise by 3p a litre as of the 2nd of January, and the cost of a first class stamp is to go up by 9p.

Daily Express. 22nd December.