Chapter 19: Showdown Time

Wednesday, April 11, 2012 6pm

“Hey, Jesse, good to see you back again,” Chunky Castellano cried as he spotted Jesse walking onto the field from the parking area.

“Good to be here, Chunky. It’s baseball season again, and I’m ready for it.”

“We’ve got a couple of new players this year. You’ll meet them in a few minutes. Ed Lofthouse, better known as “Lofty,” and Donnie Milligan, better known as “Spike.” Both of them have some experience at organized ball.”

“That’s great, Chunky. I’m really looking forward to playing again. I only had a part of a season with you guys last year, so I’m planning on a full season this year.”

“Hi Jesse,” came a familiar female voice.

“Hey, Wanda. Good to see you again,” he smiled.

“Run into any football players lately,” she teased.

“No ... and with any luck, I’ll avoid that this season,” he grinned.

Wanda was her usual upbeat self. Her spectacular body made her very visible, particularly to the male audience.

“Where’s your rooting section,” Wanda asked, looking around.

“Eve and Mica and Tony are at a little league meeting tonight. My girlfriend is in the stands, though.”

“Holy crap!” Jesse heard and turned to see Chunky and a couple of his team mates staring at the stands by the dugout.

“Who is that?” Chunky asked.

“Oh, that’s Kirsten, my girlfriend,” Jesse said with a grin.

“You’re kidding! Are you shittin’ me?” he said looking at Jesse in wonder.

Jesse waved toward Kirsten and she waved back, then blew him a kiss. Jesse turned to the three fellows gathered around him and shrugged ... not able to suppress a smile of pride.

“So ... what’s your secret?” Doug Gallagher asked.

Again, Jesse shrugged, but the smile hadn’t left his lips.

“That is one incredible looking woman,” Chunky said in wonder.

“How long have you been together?” Lofty asked.

“Well, unofficially since last summer. Officially, since March,” Jesse explained. “She plays hockey for UBC, so she’s pretty tied up from September to March.”

“I’d love to have something like that tied up,” Doug grumbled, and generating a chuckle from some of the other players ... Jesse not included.

The group broke up when Chunky decided the get the practice underway.

Jesse found it hard to concentrate on the ground balls off the fungo practice bat. His mind was elsewhere. Luckily, muscle memory and experience kicked in and he handled them without incident.

The change in Kirsten had come out of nowhere ... or so it seemed. He’d asked her for a date on the Saturday after he’d returned from Arizona. She had immediately agreed, showing a smile that almost melted him. A movie and a snack afterwards had been pretty conventional, but her demeanour had surprised him. Gone was the halting nervousness of their earlier encounters, replaced by a more carefree and flirty Kirsten. Together in the dark of the theatre, she leaned closely to him, encouraging him to put his arm around her.

He had chosen a romance, knowing he wanted Kirsten to enjoy the movie. It was obvious he had chosen wisely. She was definitely in a more romantic mood when they left the theatre. They discussed the movie as they ate their appetizers and sipped a glass of wine. Jesse wasn’t the least bit embarrassed when they were both “carded” by the waiter.

It may have been April, but it was still cool in the evenings. It was a clear, moonlit night when Kirsten suggested they drive through Stanley Park and find a place to view the inner harbour. The lights on the North Shore, the passenger ferry shuttling across the inlet, the lights of the city, all combined to create a magical scene as they sat in his vehicle. Only the center consol interfered with their contact.

Kirsten leaned across that consol and met Jesse halfway, their embrace leading to a long, deep, kiss. Jesse’s hand was inside her jacket and was stroking her torso, being careful not to be too aggressive. He gradually moved his hand so that it made contact with the side of her breast. She didn’t react. In fact, he heard a small moan as they continued their kisses. He was reminding himself not to push his luck too far when Kirsten took his hand and placed it fully on her breast.

He could feel the nipple was extended through the thin, soft material of her bra. He gently used the palm of his hand to rub slowly across it, producing more audible moans. His erection threatened to burst it was so hard. He had certainly experienced this kind of petting in the past ... particularly with Juliet, but it was beyond what he expected with Kirsten. Now, where would she allow him to go from here?

Kirsten was completely absorbed in Jesse’s fondling. It felt so good and her arousal was continuing. She couldn’t remember being quite so stimulated as she was at that moment. In her mind, she had thrown caution to the wind and allowed ... no ... encouraged Jesse to go further with her than ever before. She wondered why it had taken her so long to allow herself to feel what she was feeling. She was no stranger to masturbation, but this was different. This was someone else’s hands on her body and someone else making her feel like this. She was in no rush to end it.

She thought about taking it further, but hadn’t decided what to do. She was aware of Jesse’s erection. How could she not be? In an impulsive moment, she reached down and felt the outline of it. She could feel the reaction in Jesse. She knew he was far more experienced than she was, but he was acting like this was a surprise. She had taken a big step when she felt his hand on her breast. Now, she was venturing into his body, wondering how far she might go ... if she had the courage.

Jesse was completely surprised by Kirsten’s actions. Again, none of this was new to him, but it was very new and unexpected from her. He didn’t know how to proceed. She was encouraging him, but to do what?

“Are you warm enough,” he asked quietly.

“Yes. Quite warm,” she whispered in his ear. “Very warm.”

“Is there something you want?” he wondered aloud.

“I was going to ask you the same question,” she said, still whispering.

“I want to make love to you some day soon,” he admitted, wondering if he’d gone a step too far.

“I know. I want that too.”

Another surprise. “I didn’t know. I’ve been so careful not to push you.”

“Yes ... you have,” she sighed, her head on his shoulder. “You have been very patient with me. I feel very good when I am with you. I want you, Jesse. I am not experienced like you, so you will have to be ... careful.”

“I know,” he said, kissing her forehead. “I don’t know what, but I know something in your past caused you great harm and I know you are still dealing with that. But I also want you to know I would never do anything that would harm you ... physically or mentally.”

“Thank you. I will tell you about it someday soon. You will understand why I am shy around boys ... and men. But I am not shy around you anymore. I trust you and someday I want you to be my lover.”

Jesse felt a burst of adrenalin as she told him of her wish. “I want that more than anything. You are so beautiful and such a lovely person. No man could resist you.”

“But before we make love, I want you to tell me everything about who Jesse Peterson really is. In return, I will tell you everything about me. This is about trust, Jesse. I trust you, and trust is something I am just learning to have with people other than my family. Can you do that?”

Her proviso came as shock to Jesse. Was this the moment of truth? Was he ready to tell her about his circumstances? Was she ready to hear them? It was showdown time.

“Why do you think that what you see isn’t what I am?” he asked, stalling for time.

“I do not know. Little pieces of you that you say or do seem ... different from other people. There are times when I think you are older than your age ... and other times ... like you have missed part of growing up. I cannot say I know you completely, Jesse. I am struggling with my own past ... as you have already realized. It is not easy and you are the first young man I have really come to being close to. Close enough that I want to make love with you. For me, that is a big step.”

Jesse sat quietly, saying nothing, his gaze trying to penetrate the fogged windshield. It was the moment of truth that he both dreaded and welcomed. If he hand any future in this strange new world, he wanted it to include Kirsten. If that was ever to happen, he had to be honest with her ... and accept the consequences. He knew what he had to do, but the question was ... how?

“Kirsten, something happened to me last year that goes quite beyond explanation. I won’t try and explain it without Eve being with us to confirm my story. Is that acceptable?”

She sat looking at him with a wrinkled forehead ... a puzzled look. What could it be that needed confirmation? Then again, what would it harm if she had Eve there when she revealed her own dreadful tale? It almost sounded like Eve would be the conduit for both of them. At length, she nodded.

“I think that is a good idea, Jesse. Do you want to talk to her first and see if she is agreeable?”

“Yes. Perhaps tomorrow? Everyone will be available.”

She nodded, her face more relaxed now. “Yes ... tomorrow.”

Sunday, April 15, 2012 11am

“Kirsten, Eve knows what this meeting is about ... in detail. She knows we have talked about ... you know ... making love. She knows that you want us both to be completely honest about ourselves ... who we are and what secrets we might hold. Eve has never revealed to me anything that you and she have talked about. I’m sure she hasn’t told you anything about my secret.”

“No ... but I haven’t asked,” she said. She was paying rapt attention to Jesse, her expression neutral.

“This isn’t going to easy,” Eve interjected, “for either of you. I think it would be best if Kirsten goes first. Her story is very difficult, but I think you will understand her better when you hear it.”

Jesse looked at Kirsten, relieved that he didn’t have to be first. “No matter what you tell me,” he said quietly, “I want you to know that it won’t change how I feel about you.”

“I wonder if that will still be true when you hear what has happened to me?”

“Trust me, Kirsten. You have so far ... so trust me,” he smiled.

She nodded, and haltingly began telling him of her rape and the aftermath. She spoke in a clear, quiet voice, sometimes looking at Jesse, other times looking away. When she finished, she turned to him and saw the tears cascading down his cheeks. She went to him and held him in her arms. There was no need for conversation. She knew immediately what the tears represented. She felt quietly relieved that Jesse understood and more importantly, that he wept for her pain and suffering.

Eve sat with a few tears on her face as well. The quiet dignity with which Kirsten had told her story was compelling. Jesse, to his credit, had never interrupted nor shown any anger or disgust as the young woman retold her tale of horror. Eve knew he was deeply affected by Kirsten’s words and her simple delivery of the facts. Jesse’s tears were a genuine outpouring of grief for this lovely young lady.