Chapter 34: Thursday, Mischa

Editor’s Note:
The next page is another extract from the journal of Mischa Doeple, dated Thursday December 9th.

If everything goes right, this might be the last one of these I have to write. It’s Thursday and tomorrow I get to go home with Liz and her father – fingers crossed.

So anyway, I got to sleep uninterrupted last night because Bec took her pills right away instead of waiting to see if she had bad dreams.

In the morning, we went to the bathroom and showered and everything and then we had breakfast with Alice. Then we did our exercises and had our sessions with the shrink.

My session was pretty awful because we talked some more about the stuff that happened when I was living with my uncle. I think the main thing was that at the time I felt like I was trapped in that life forever and I felt powerless to do anything about what was happening to me.

But now I look back and I think it was only a small part of my life and it’s over now and obviously I wasn’t trapped and obviously it didn’t go on forever. And maybe I couldn’t get myself out of there but the important thing is that I did what I could to survive and then other people helped me get out when they found out what was happening.

I told the shrink I wanted to forget about everything that happened but he said I didn’t need to forget. All I needed to do was keep in mind how that part of my life is over and to keep those experiences in perspective and those memories will stop being a burden. So I said I understood what he was saying because maybe I was already getting there.

Then we talked about how it was going to be different living with the Davidsons and going to school and everything so I had to be more responsible about making sure I kept eating properly and did my exercises but I have to try not to overdo it. The shrink said I was to come in and see him for a session in the afternoon two times next week so we could talk about how I was coping but after that we would reassess how often I needed to come in.

I had another session with Doctor Eyebrows too. He weighed me and measured me and poked and prodded and told me that I was doing well. He told me that one of the times I came in to see the shrink next week that I was to see him as well.

I look at my arms and legs and I can see that I’m still really skinny but Doctor Eyebrows told me that I’ve clearly improved, even since last week but it would take some time for me to get back to my ideal weight range. And then he said that puberty would probably have kicked in by then so that would throw all my levels out of kilter again.

He said he wanted to keep monitoring me for the next 2 or 3 years or possibly longer because, given my medical history, I would need to be more careful about my calorie intake and my vitamin and mineral intake than the average teenager. And he wanted to watch for signs to make sure I didn’t do long term damage to my organs when I starved myself. That would suck so I hope that didn’t happen.

I feel bad that I will have to go through all of that but I feel good that someone cares about me enough that he wants to make sure I grow up fit and healthy. I mean, I know he’s a doctor and he gets paid for it and he has the bedside manner of a turnip but still he’s trying to help me and that’s good.

Bec seemed a little happier today than she did yesterday but she still seems depressed. I don’t know why. We had lunch and then we had our class. I had more worksheets to do in math and science and English. Bec did her math and then finished reading her book and started the book report she has to do.

This time the video was about the Japanese part of the Second World War. And like the other videos it wasn’t dumbed down for kids but it talked about the economics and the need for resources that drove the Japanese and their attitudes and the way they thought and why they acted the way they did. It went from the invasion of China and the Japanese occupation of Manchuria through to when they surrendered after the two bombs had been dropped.

It was interesting because I really felt like I was learning something new about history. I always used to think history was boring but maybe that was because they kept on giving us dumbed down things to do like coloring in pictures of Romans in their togas or whatever. But now I was starting to understand why people did the things they did rather than learning a list of what people did and when they did it.

So anyway, Liz came in just before dinner and she was really upset because she’d been telling her friends about what happened to Bec and she thinks a couple of other girls heard what she was saying and she thinks they’re going to tell everyone. So Bec hugged her and she said, “Oh well. It can’t be helped.”

And then she told Liz not to worry and that it wasn’t her fault because Bec had asked her to tell their friends so the story was going to get out sooner or later.

Then Liz cheered up and she looked at me and she said that everything was looking good for me to go home with them tomorrow afternoon and they were waiting for the welfare people to come and inspect the house and look at the bedroom they had for me and everything but she said that was going to be fine because her dad had spoken to someone and found out the sorts of things the welfare people looked for and their house was easily above that standard.

After dinner, Bec’s parents came in to visit but Tara and Angie stayed home with their grandmother.

Oh. I nearly forgot. Bec didn’t keep on drawing like she did yesterday, but she did do one drawing which she gave to me. It’s a better version of the one she did a few days ago which shows what she thinks I’ll look like when I reach my ideal weight range. I’m not an art sort of person so I can’t really explain why it’s better. It’s done in grey pencil like the other one was but something about this one makes it seem, I don’t know, more alive or something. But anyway, Bec seemed happier with it and I love it so that’s all that matters. Liz said we could get a little frame and hang it on the wall in my bedroom.

Then she said that I should make sure Bec signed it so that when Bec is rich and famous my drawing will be worth a lot of money but Bec laughed and threw a pillow at Liz and she said, “Just ignore Liz because sometimes she gets a little crazy.”

Then Liz threw the pillow back and I threw my pillow at Liz and Bec threw the one she had at me and we all laughed.