Chapter 11: Mischa, Bec, and the Escape from Narnia

Editor’s Note:
The next document is an extract from the journal of Mischa Doeple. Published with permission of the Doeple family.

Thursday, December 2nd continued.

After lunch I started getting nervous about my new roommate. I mean, I look like a walking skeleton. What if she’s bitchy? What if she laughs at me? What if she’s bossy and she pushes me around? What if she’s a pathetic loser, who whines and moans all the time? More pathetic than me, even.

The shrink said she was around my age but he’s old and when an old person tells you someone is close to your age that could mean anywhere from eight to sixteen. If it’s the girl from the padded room, I’ve seen her in the distance a couple of times.

She gets escorted to bathrooms, too.

She looks like she’s about eleven or twelve so I guess that won’t be too bad. She looks like she’d be pretty if she did her hair and wasn’t so miserable all the time. She has long brown wavy hair which I’m jealous about because mine is dirty blonde and all thin and straggly. She looks like she’s around five feet or maybe a bit over, which means she’s not super tall but she’s taller than me. I’m like a dwarf.

Apparently starving yourself at my age is a bad idea because your body skips growth spurts and it delays puberty and all of that stuff because it doesn’t have the strength. So I haven’t grown and I haven’t started puberty and I’m thirteen. What a loser.

The doctors told me that once I was healthy again my body would go through a normal puberty even if it was a bit delayed and I would grow a bit but I might never catch up on that missed growth spurt. I guess modeling is out as a career option for me. They only use girls who are tall. Not that modeling was ever an option for me. They only use girls who are beautiful and I’m like a troll.

This girl seems to have a family. I’ve seen a father and an older brother. They’re both enormous men. I mean enormous as in bigger than huge. As in scary huge. There’s a sister who looks just like her but is maybe a tiny bit older and a little sister who is probably too little to have started school. I’m pretty bad about guessing how old little kids are but this one seems to be walking okay so not a baby. The little sister has a bright green cast on her arm. I wonder if the psychotic mass-murderer bashed her kid sister and broke her arm. I’m going to be trapped in the room with her. I hope she doesn’t bash me. My bones would snap like twigs.

So, like I was saying, I sat curled up in an armchair in the open area, listening to music and watching to see when they moved the new girl into my room. And, like I was saying, I was getting pretty nervous ‘cause I worried about what she’d be like.

Finally I saw the shrink lead her across and through the open door of my room. She was looking around nervously but I don’t think she noticed me. I wondered if I was supposed to go in and meet her or stay out here and leave her alone. In the end I did nothing but sit where I was and listen to music and watch the doorway of my room – I guess I should start saying “our” room.

After a bit, the shrink came out and looked around for me. He saw me and came over so I stared off into the distance and pretended to be lost in the music. The music cut off suddenly and I kind of jumped a bit in surprise – which was dumb because I knew it was going to happen but it still made me jump. I looked around and the shrink was in the process of leaning back into the arm chair next to mine after having switched off the sound system.

I pulled the headphones off my head and said, “What?”

I guess I was doing what the shrink calls “giving attitude.”

He said, “I want you to come and meet your new roommate. Her name is Bec. But I have to talk to you first.”

So I said, “Why?”

And he said, “We have a bit of a problem. Do you remember that I said she was a bit confused?”

So I said, “Yeah.”

And he said, “Well, we’ve had a bit of a set-back and now she’s very confused.”

So I said, “What does that mean?”

And he said, “Right now she’s convinced that she’s trapped in Narnia and is being held prisoner in the White Witch’s Dungeon.”

I didn’t know how to react to that so I just said, “Huh?”

Then I said, “What’s Narnia?”

And he said, “There’s a children’s book called The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. It’s very popular in England. In the book, some children are transported to a magical land called Narnia. Bec seems to have gotten caught up in the story and now believes she’s stuck in Narnia as a prisoner of an evil witch.”

Then he said, “It’s a temporary situation. I’m confident that we’ll be able to bring her out of it soon. In the meantime, I’d like your help.”

Then I said, “So she really is a nutcase, then?”

And he said, “No. She’s just suffering from a temporary and incomplete psychosis.”

And I said, “Incomplete psychosis? What does that mean?”

Then he said, “It’s technical jargon for someone who’s not really a nutcase but is acting a bit like one. It means she can still see us and interact with us but what she perceives appears to be colored by her delusion. And that’s where you can help.”

So I said, “Why should I help?”

He shrugged and said, “You don’t have to. I thought you might like to. It will give you something to do. There’s nothing worse than sitting around in a hospital with nothing to do.”

So I said, “Nng.”

Then I said, “I’m not a shrink or anything. I don’t see how I could be any help.”

So he said, “All I want you to do is be yourself. Don’t get upset if she makes comments about Narnia. You don’t have to play along if you don’t want to, but don’t spend any effort trying to persuade her that she’s wrong. She’ll think you’re the nutcase if you try to claim that Narnia isn’t real.”

So I said, “Hm. Maybe she’ll think I have a temporary and incomplete psychosis.”

The shrink’s eyebrows kind of wobbled. “That’s entirely possible. Either way, it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to convince her that your version of reality is more accurate than hers. You’d be better off not trying.”

Then I stood up and looked at the shrink. I said, “I suppose I may as well meet her, anyway.”

So together we went into my room and the new girl – Bec – was sitting on the spare bed. She was wearing those hospital full-length pajamas like surgeons wear, except these were a pale blue sort of color and they were the right size for a kid. I’ve never seen a doctor her size so they must make them special for kids. The shrink went and sat on the bed next to Bec and I stood in the middle of the room and looked at her. I guess I was feeling a bit self-conscious about my appearance so I sat down on my bed and wrapped my arms around my stomach.

The shrink said, “Bec, I want you to meet Mischa. Mischa, this is Bec. The two of you are going to be sharing this room for a little while.”

So I said, “Hi.”

And she said, “Are you a prisoner too? You poor thing. Look at you. They’ve starved you.”

And I said, “They didn’t...” but then I stopped.

And she said, “Mr Tumnus is going to help me escape from here. Maybe he’ll help you as well. We can’t leave you here to starve.”

She had a weird accent. I had to listen extra hard to even understand what she was saying. The shrink didn’t tell me she was a foreigner. I wish everyone spoke American, it would make life so much easier.

So I said, “Who is Mr Tumnus?”

Bec pointed at the shrink. The shrink looked at me and shrugged. Then he stood up.

The shrink said, “I need to go and start planning your escape.” He grinned at me and then he left.

So I said, “You do realize that your Mr Tumnus is in charge of this place, don’t you? I mean, not the whole place but this floor. He calls the shots on this floor.”

Then Bec put her finger to her lips and she said, “Shh! It’s not really Mr Tumnus. He’s just pretending to be Mr Tumnus.”

And I said, “Huh?”

And she said, “Didn’t you notice his feet? He doesn’t have hooves. The real Mr Tumnus is a faun so he should have legs and hooves like a goat.”

So I said, “Okay.”

Then she said, “I’m pretty sure he’s really Aslan.”

So I said, “Who is Aslan?”

And she said, “Aslan is like the lord of all of Narnia and the surrounding countries. He’s very powerful. He normally appears as a huge lion but for some reason he’s pretending to be Mr Tumnus.”

So I said, “And who is Mr Tumnus?”

And she said, “He is. At least he’s pretending to be.”

And I was thinking that this was really bizarre and how was I supposed to talk to this girl when she was such a total nutcase.

Then she said, “What’s your name again?”

So I said, “Mischa.”

And she said, “That’s a nice name. My name is really Rebecca, but all of my friends call me Bec.”

And I said, “You aren’t from America. Where are you from?”

And she said, “Prista.” I think that’s what she said, anyhow.

I was trying to think of something nice to say, so I said, “Your English is pretty good for a foreigner.”

She didn’t say anything to that but she did give me a weird look. I don’t know what that meant.

Then I said, “So how did you end up in Narnia?”

And she said, “I’m not sure. I think I did it the usual way. You know, I crawled through a wardrobe. I’m having a bit of a problem remembering things.”

And I said, “I don’t know what a wardrobe is.”

And she said, “It’s for hanging clothes. In America you call them closets. In England they get called wardrobes.”

So I said, “Oh,” because I never knew that before.

Then I said, “So, were you, like, a normal sort of girl before you crawled through the wardrobe?”

She looked at me funny and then she said, “I guess so.”

So I said, “What school do you go to? I mean, when you aren’t in Narnia.”

Then we had a normal sort of conversation about schools and music and movies and whatever. It was kind of bizarre how normal it was. I found out more about Bec and she found out more about me. I figured out she was a little bit shy so I had to do more of the talking but that was okay. We didn’t talk about too much personal stuff or anything but it was probably the best talk I’ve had with someone close to my age for years. I guess the shrink was right. We seemed to get along okay – if you ignored the whole Narnia thing, that is. I don’t know why I was so worried. It was a piece of cake.

Oh, one other thing, she told me that she’s thirteen – same as me. So the shrink was actually right when he said we were about the same age. It’s like a miracle or something.

But anyway, after a while, the shrink came back in. He was carrying two bags and he handed one to each of us. I looked inside and I saw clothes – my clothes. The shrink said, “Get dressed. Just pull those over what you’re wearing.” Then he left again.

I quickly pulled on the jeans and the thick long-sleeved top. Then I sat on the bed while I pulled on the socks and shoes. I got hot pretty quick because the room was warm. It was my first time wearing real clothes since I came to the hospital. It felt weird wearing so much clothing. The material pressed against me and rubbed and constricted me in ways I’d gotten out of the habit of ignoring. Then I saw my reflection in the mirror and I could see how much they hid what I looked like. I almost took them off again because I want to get better but then I remembered why we were getting dressed so I didn’t.

I looked over at Bec and saw that she was wearing pretty much the same as me except for sweatpants instead of jeans. Even in sweatpants and a hoodie, she looked like someone who could be pretty if she wasn’t so miserable.

Then the shrink came in again, this time he was wearing a cap with horns attached and some pants made out of fake fur with a curly tail dangling behind him.

I said, “What are you wearing that for?”

And he said, “It’s a disguise for our escape. I’m disguised as a faun.”

Bec looked at him strangely. “But everyone already thinks you are a faun.”

The shrink just grinned at her. Then he said, “Put these on. These are your disguises.”

Then he handed each of us a full-length cloak, which we put on, and a fake beard and a plastic helmet.

Bec said, “What?”

And he said, “You two will be disguised as dwarves. Put them on.”

We put the fake beards on, and then the cloaks. Then we tied back our hair and tucked it into our helmets. The costumes were a bit lame but I haven’t played dress-up since I was a little kid so doing it now I’m older was kind of different. I wouldn’t have done it before coming to the hospital but I figured that in here everyone was crazy so nobody would care if we did something extra crazy.

Then the shrink said, “We’re nearly ready. We only have to wait for the last member of our party.”

He went to the door and waved. A moment later, Bec’s brother came in. Like I said before, he’s a really large man and this was my first time meeting him up close. I felt totally tiny next to him. He was kind of scary. His costume didn’t help any. He was wearing a horse costume, except without the head. And he had plastic armor like the Romans used on his chest. There was even somebody being the back legs, but I couldn’t tell who it was because they were inside the horse costume.

I stepped back away from him until my legs bumped into the bed behind me. That made me sit down and suddenly he was even bigger – towering over me like some colossal statue. I shifted back onto the bed and backed away from him until my back was fully against the wall.

Bec jumped up and ran over to hug Dan. He smiled down at her and then looked over at me.

Dan said, “Hi. You must be Mischa. I’m normally Dan, but today I’m a centaur.”

So I said, “Um, hi.”

I was still trying to get back, away from him, but I was blocked by the wall behind me. I figured he wouldn’t try and hurt me here, right in front of the shrink, but I didn’t want to risk it.

Then Bec said, “Dan, we have to take Mischa with us. They haven’t been feeding her. If we leave her here in the dungeon, she’ll starve to death.”

Dan smiled at her and he said, “Of course she’s coming with us. I never thought for a moment that you would want to leave her behind. Look, she already has her disguise on. She makes a most convincing dwarf don’t you think, with that beard and everything?”

Then Dan took a package off his back and I saw it was a bundle of weapons.

He winked at me and he said, “Dwarves always carry weapons so I brought these for you.”

He handed Bec something like an ax but with two blades and he handed me a vicious looking club with little spikes coming out of it. Except when I took it, I found out that it was really light and it was made out of that compressed foam stuff. It was huge. It was good the thing was so light. If it had really been made out of wood and metal, I wouldn’t have been able to lift it. He also had a sword that was longer than I am tall but he kept that for himself.

I was shaking my head in amazement as I looked around at the group of us. This was a hospital. I never heard of people playing dress-up in a hospital before. I never saw a man like Dan play dress-up before. I always thought dress-up was for little kids – or Halloween. But like I said, everyone was crazy in here so maybe it didn’t matter.

Then the shrink said, “Let’s go,” and he led us out of our room. Bec and I followed along behind him with Dan bringing up the rear. I nearly started laughing when I saw the back legs of the horse trying to get in synch with Dan’s legs at the front.

We sneaked past the Nurses’ Station – as in seriously sneaked on our tip-toes and everything. The nurses all “happened” to be looking the other way so we got past without any of them noticing us. I was having a hard time keeping from laughing out loud about how ridiculous the whole thing was. There were a couple of other patients hanging around and they were watching with open mouths.

The shrink used one hand to hide what he was doing while he punched in the door-code with the other hand. Then he held the secure door open for us and let us out of the unit.