Chapter 2

I woke up to the smell of strong coffee and the sound of female voices. I cracked an eye and immediately shut against the brutal sunlight streaming into the room.

I heard Cheri and her mom in the hall, their chatter broken up by giggles and snorts of laughter. I sat up and looked around for my clothes. After a minute, I realized they were not in the room.

I spotted the sarong Cheri had given me last night.

Chin and I had nothing to hide from each other, and I’d seen a good amount of Flower already. I thought about what Cheri had said about going to the nudist camp. ‘‘Fuck it. Might as well give Flower a preview.’ I thought.

I wrapped the sarong around my hips and stepped into the hall.

I followed feminine chatter and the heavenly smell of coffee to the kitchen.

Fortunately, the windows in the kitchen faced west so it wasn’t too horribly right in the room.

Flower and Cheri were sitting at the table, chattering away over their coffee.

“Morning’” I mumbled.

“It’s alive!” Cheri squealed, laughing.

I winced.

“Aww, Are you not a morning person?” Flower asked, as she looked me over.

“Is it that obvious?”

Cheri laughed. “Be nice mom, I kept him pretty busy last night.”

Flower laughed into her coffee.

“I get it now.” I said. “It’s the only possible explanation.”

“What?” Cheri asked.

The only way yo can be so perky at this hour after last night. You’re a succubus!

You drained my life force, leaving me a broken, burned out shell of a man.”

“Oh! Your first victim! I’m so proud of you, honey!” Flower gushed, batting her eyes.

She sniffled and wiped a fake tear from her eye. “They grow up so fast...”

Cheri and Flower both burst into giggles.

After a long laugh, Flower took pity on me.

“Coffee Morgan?”

“Just start an IV please.” I answered.

Flower smiled and stood up to grab a cup. I was awake enough to notice that she was wearing a sarong like mine, tied precariously above her breasts. I could not look away as she jiggled to the counter. I watched as sarong rode up exposing her thighs as she stretched to pull a mug form the shelf.

Cheri poked me in the ribs.

“You’re staring.”

“I was just appreciating where you got your good looks. That’s all.”

“Nice save, smart ass.” She poked my ribs again.

“Hey! Let me get caffeinated before you torture me!”

Flower set a cup in front of me. “Do you take cream?” She smiled and jiggled her tits at me.

“Yes, but not in my coffee.” I replied, grabbing the cup. Flower grinned and sat down.

I drank half of it in one swallow. I sipped the rest, letting the magic elixir reboot my brain.

“Much better.” I said.

“You are definitely not a morning person.” Cheri said.

“I’m afraid not.” I answered.

“That’s okay, I can work with that.”

We chatted for a while. Flower watched us intently while trying to act like she wasn’t.

After an hour, Flower told me they needed to run some errands. That was okay, I needed to head home and finish up a paper for history and do my weekend chores around the house.

I found my clothes and headed home. I took a nap after I took care of the house and finished the paper.

Cheri called and we spent hours talking about everything and nothing. I wanted to get together the next day but she and her mom were busy.

We did agree that I would drive her to school on Monday.

It wasn’t even six thirty when my mom walked through the door.

“Hi mom! I see you decided to knock off early today!”

“Hi Morgan. I finished the Bryant account early so I’m taking the rest of the weekend off.”

“What? Who are you and what have you done with my mother?”

Mom laughed and I watched her as she headed into the kitchen. I have to admit it; my Mom was a good looking woman. She’s tall, has long black hair, blue eyes, and the curvy figure of a playboy bunny from the sixties. She always dressed to highlight her figure.

Even on a Saturday, she was in wearing a ‘Power’ suit. A fitted, gray pinstriped jacket, pencil skirt, and black stiletto heels; topped off with a red silk blouse.

I got her black hair and strong build, and my pale complexion and dark eyes came from my father.

“How was your date last night?” She asked.

I grinned. “It was awesome!” I replied.

Mom looked at my face. “Oh, I see. It was the girl you were tutoring, wasn’t it?”

“Yep. It took me all semester to get the courage to ask her, but I am so glad I did.”

Mom smiled. “That’s good. Are you being careful?”

“Yes we are.” I answered.

“Good. Just remember, if you take the risk, you’d better be ready for the consequences. I won’t mind being a grandmother, but I’d prefer that you finish high school first.”

“Wow! Mom, that’s...”

My mind flashed in a vision of Cheri. I imagined her pregnant. I could see her sitting on her mom’s couch with a smile as she rubbed huge round belly, her breasts swollen and engorged with milk ... My cock began to swell in my pants.

I shook my head to clear the image from mind. ‘Where the fuck did that come from?’ I wondered.

“You all right there?” Mom asked.

“Yeah. I was just thinking.”

“I’ll bet!” mom said.

“We’re being careful.” I answered.

Mom nodded. “So you think this will last for a while?”

“I hope so. So far it seems like it’s headed that way.”

“I’m happy for you. I know you were hurting when Drusilla left.”

I nodded.

“Anyway, I need a nap. Wake me up at seven, and we’ll go out for a burger or something.”

“Will do.”

She headed up to her room.

I thought about what mom said about becoming a grandmother. On the one hand, I had plans. College, Travel, Career ... On the other, the thought of making pumping Cheri’s pussy full of sperm an watching her belly swell with my child made me harder than steel...

The rest of my weekend was spent reading and studying, broken up by phone calls from Molly and Emily, and long conversations with Cheri.

Mom went over a small mountain of files in her office. I did manage to get her to go out for lunch though.

On Monday morning, I actually woke up before my alarm. I was showered, shaved, and dressed half an hour early.

Cheri was ready to go when I pulled up. She leaped out the door, tackling me and squeezing me tight. I kissed her and she moaned happily against my lips.

“Good morning!” she chirped when we broke for oxygen.

“It is now!” I answered, grinning back at her.

She was a pleated skirt, sandals, and a button up blouse with a man’s suit-vest over it. She’d tied her hair back in a ponytail, leaving a few strands free to frame her face.

“You look awesome!” I said, as I held the passenger door open.

“Thank you kind sir!”

She dropped her bag in the back seat and buckled in.

I climbed in and we took off toward the school.

“Morgan, my first class isn’t until nine, when’s yours?”

I looked at the clock in the dash. Seven forty.

“Mine doesn’t start ‘til nine either. Did you want to go for coffee or something?”

“Or something ... Turn right and go to the park.”

‘This sounds interesting.’ I thought.

I did as she said. I was about to turn into the lot but she stopped me.

“Keep going half a block, you’ll see a small driveway. Turn in there.”

I found the driveway and turned in.

“Now keep going, there’s a spot by the grounds keeper’s shed.”

I found the spot. We were in a small parking area. It was surrounded by tall hedges on two sides and the shed blocked off the third. A tall, gnarled oak tree shaded the corner of the lot.

I pulled into the space under the tree and killed the engine.

We sat for a few moments listening to the ticks of the engine as it cooled down.

She let out a sigh. “I wish we could skip today.”

“Me too. But we’d need to find some way to spend our time...” I answered.

Cheri laughed and scooted over to snuggle me, and slipped her hand down to squeeze my cock.

“We’d come up with something!”

I turned and dropped a kiss on her lips. “Yes we would!”

She caressed my face and drew me down for another kiss. Her tongue slipped between my lips and a little moan escaped her.

I pulled her close and held her as we made out.

We were both getting aroused, our kisses grew deeper, my cock grew harder, and her moans got louder with passing second.

We broke for air. “This isn’t working.” She groaned. “Move the seat back and get in the middle.”

My car was a ‘74 Plymouth Valiant. It’s best feature was the front bench seat.

I did as she asked. She hiked her skirt up and straddled my lap. I kissed her again as she ground against my cock, humping me through my fatigues.

After another torrid kiss, she sat up.

“I need you. I need you in me now!” she growled, yanking at my belt. I raised my butt and let her shove my pants and underwear down. She flipped her skirt up and grabbed my cock. I looked down and saw her neat patch of copper curls.

I grinned. “I see you planned this in advance.”

“Hell yeah!” Cheri smiled. “I’ve been wanting you since I woke up on Saturday!

She grabbed the base of my cock and held it steady as she lowered her pussy on my cock. We both sighed as her outer lips parted around the head of my dick.

She took a deep breath and dropped herself down on my cock, taking me to the root in one stroke. She let out a groan and sighed in pleasure. “Oh yes! That’s what I needed!”

I held her waist as she began rocking her hips and grinding her clit against me.

I kissed her and sucked on her tongue until we needed air. She leaned back and squealed when I bucked my hips to thrust deeper inside her. Cheri grabbed my shoulders for leverage and began bouncing on my cock. I locked my mouth on hers as we fucked.

She mewled and groaned into my mouth on every thrust. A few moments later, she sped up, fucking me harder. I felt the familiar pressure building up in my balls as her rhythm broke and her pussy began clasping my cock. I grabbed her hips and began shoving my dick deep into her with each thrust.

She began to tremble, and a loud moan escaped her mouth. Her pussy clamped around me and she gave a little scream.

She froze for a second and gasped. I watched her face as her climax hit her, she let out a loud groan, and shivers ran through her body.

“Oh fuck yes! She screamed as I kept on fucking her

“I’m getting close, baby!” I growled.

Her arms wrapped around my head and held on.

“In me! Inside me!” She whimpered.

I lifted her ass high and slammed her down on my cock one last time.

My balls clenched and I came. Cheri trembled as the first shot blasted up inside her to splash against her cervix.

“Ohmygod!” she moaned. “I felt that! I felt your cum shoot into me!”

My cock pulsed and I shot another rope of cum inside her. I kept cumming for what seemed like forever. Cheri groaned and her pussy squeezed my cock, milking me for every drop of cum I could give her.

I held her as we rode out the afterglow, gently kissing and nuzzling her face and neck.

When she had caught her breath, Cheri sat up and looked at me.

“That was wonderful!” she breathed. “I felt your cock throb when you shot inside me! It’s so hot!”

My reply was cut off when she flexed her belly and her pussy squeezed my slowly softening cock.

‘Whoah! Damn!” was all I could get out. Cheri giggled and raised herself off of me. My cock flopped out of her to lie on my belly.

“God! You’re incredible!” I said. Cheri smiled and kissed me.

“I loved it! I could even go for another round.” She said.

I looked at my watch. “Me too, but we have to clean up and get to school.”

Cheri sighed. “I know. I’ll go, but I won’t like it.” She grumbled. She climbed off of me and reached into the back seat for her bag. She pulled out a towel and a pack of baby wipes.

“You came prepared.” I said.

“You bet I did! There was no way I was going without your cock in me today! I thought about dragging you into the storage room at lunch, but it’s too risky on school grounds, and I already have a ‘reputation’...” She looked sad at the thought.

“Cheri, your reputation is based on bullshit spread by insecure cheerleaders, dumb jocks, and tight-assed religious wackos. Anyone with half a brain knows that, or doesn’t care. Besides, my friends and I have been stomping all over the rumor mill since February. So don’t even worry about it.”

I grinned. “Besides, everyone knows the storage room is reserved for the drama club.”

Cheri laughed and checked her hair.

We got cleaned up and I had tucked my cock back into my pants when I noticed her pull a pair of panties from her bag.

I watched her slip them over her shoes and pull them up under her skirt. Cheri saw me watching and smiled. “What?”

“I never though the sight of a girl putting her panties on was sexy before.” I said.

Cheri laughed and kissed my cheek. “Let’s get to school. We’ll discuss it in detail over lunch.”

I started the car and headed out. We made it with ten minutes to spare.

I found a good spot and helped her out of the car. She took my arm and we walked to the main door.

We got a lot of looks as we walked down the hall. The churchy types sneered, the jocks looked surprised and interested, and my fellow Goths just smiled at us.

Right before we had to go our separate ways, she leaned close to me and put her lips right next to my ear.

“I had to put my panties on so your cum wouldn’t run down my legs in class. You and I are the only ones who know I’ll be going through this whole day with your cum inside my pussy.” She whispered.

‘Fuck that’s hot!’ I thought as my cock lurched in my pants. I wanted to grab her and take up against the wall right there.

“You really are a succubus!” I replied.

She gave me a wicked little smile.

“Yes I am, but don’t worry, I plan to enjoy you for a long time.” She said and dropped a kiss on my lips before she headed to her first class.

I stumbled off to class in a daze. I had to carry my book bag in front of me to hide my raging hard on from everyone in the hall.

I managed to bluff my way through first period history without losing myself in daydreams about Cheri. I had a study period after that, so I didn’t have to do anything but read.

I coasted through economics and civics by taking notes and keeping my head down.

When the lunch bell finally rang, I dumped my books in my locker and headed for the cafeteria.

Emily and Molly fell in beside me as we crossed the quad.

“Hello Morgan.” They said in unison.

“Ladies.” I replied.

“You never did tell us how your date turned out.” Molly said.

“Yes, it’s terribly unfair.” Emily agreed.

I gave them with my best blank face. “You are correct, I did not.”

“Oh come on! “ Who got all the dirty details when I went out with Jake Stearns?”

“Emily, you didn’t need to tell me! I was there. You guys showed up at the party, he got shit-faced, groped you in front of everyone and threw up in the pool. Dru and I had to take you home.”

“Still counts!” Molly said.

“So give!” Emily commanded. “Did you stay over? Was it good?”

“You can ask her yourself. I will not speak on the matter.”

“Of all the times you remember to be a gentleman!” Emily huffed.

I kept walking. They kept pestering me all the way to the cafeteria.

Finally, I had enough.

“Like I said. If you want details, you’ll have to get them from her. She has enough people talking about her as it is.”

“Fine.” They said.

We arrived at the caff to see the usual crowd. I looked around for Cheri and spotted her copper locks near the soda machine. I walked over to her.

“Hi Morgan!” Cheri said.

“Hey Cheri! How’s your day going?

“Better now.” She answered, stepping into my arms and pulling me in for a kiss.

Molly and Emily waited patiently until we broke for air.

Cheri looked at the girls. “Hi Molly, Emily. Good to see you. You keeping my man out of trouble?”

They laughed. “It’s a full time job, but he seems much more- relaxed today. Does that have anything to do with Saturday night?”

Cheri darted a glance at me. Held up my hands.

“I said nothing.”

“Not true!” Molly said. Cheri frowned at me.

“Correct.” Emily added. “He said ‘if we wanted details, we’d have to ask you!”

Cheri’s frown melted away.

“Don’t worry.” Molly said. “He was a gentleman. An annoying, close-mouthed gentleman.”

“Good boy!” Cheri said, and kissed me again.

Suddenly, the crowded cafeteria wasn’t very appealing.

“Wanna go to In & Out?” I asked.

“Sounds good.” she answered.

We headed to my car. We skipped the drive-thru and headed inside. Molly and Emily got a table while Cheri & I ordered.

I ordered my usual- Double-Double combo and a coke. Cheri had the same with a milkshake. I already knew what the girls wanted; Double combos, Animal style, with a coke.

We sat and chatted, Cheri laughed at their question about our date. She gave partial answers to some of the more intrusive queries, but the grin on her face confirmed most of their suspicions.

The guy behind the counter yelled our order number and I went to pick up our food.

I set the tray on the table and went for refills on the drinks. When I got back to the table, the three of them were huddled over the table whispering and giggling.

“What’s the joke, aside from me?” I asked as I sat down.

“Cheri was just telling us how your date went after you left the club.” Molly said.

“Yes, and we are rather impressed, assuming that Cheri isn’t exaggerating a certain detail!”

Cheri turned away, an adorable blush on her face.

“Really now? Was it about the beer bottles?”

“It wasn’t a bottle, but she did say that you spoiled her.” Molly answered with a wink.

Cheri’s blush grew even deeper, and she hid her face in her hands.

I put my arm around Cheri. Her shoulders hunched, and she began shaking.

“It’s okay babe. I’m sorry...”

I realized she was laughing.

“I guess that’s what I get for bragging!” she laughed.

“You’re so cute when you blush!” I said. I kissed her cheek.

“Good thing we’re not diabetic. All the sweetness would put us in a coma.” Emily snarked.

We finished our food and headed back to school. Cheri scooted close and laid her head on my shoulder as I drove. Molly and Emily teased us and called us ‘cute’.

I muddled through the rest of the day and bolted for the door the instant the final bell rang.

As I left the building, I looked around for Cheri. I spotted her on a bench in the quad.

Kirk Campbell was sitting next to her. Cheri looked annoyed. I sped up.

Kirk was an asshole. Think of every jock/bully stereotype you’ve ever seen in a 1980s teen-movie and you’d have a good idea of who he was.

As I got closer, I could hear what he was saying

“—we could hit Chuckie’s party for a while and then head over to the point ... Whaddaya say?”

“Thanks, but no. I’m seeing someone.” Cheri replied.

Kirk snorted. “Yeah, I saw you with that wannabe Dracula freak this morning. You got a thing for freaks or something? Come with me, I’ll show you how a real man takes care of a woman!”

I stepped up to the bench. “Hey honey, you ready to go?”

“Hi babe! Yes I am!” Cheri answered, and stood up, completely ignoring Kirk.

Kirk glared at me with murder in his eyes. I stared back, keeping my face calm, my eyes locked on his.

“Hey Kirk, How’s it going?” I said.

Kirk grumbled something and glared at me.

I picked up Cheri’s book bag and she took my arm.

We turned to go.

“Seriously?” Kirk snarled.

Cheri turned to me and gave me a wink. In a loud voice, she asked, “You don’t have to be home early do you?”

“No, I don’t have any chores or anything today.” I answered “Good! My mom has that meeting and won’t be back ‘til seven. Let’s go to my place and fuck. I’ve been dreaming about your big fat cock all day!”

“Whatever you want babe! Later Kirk.” I grinned. Kirk stood with his mouth hanging open as we walked to my car.

Half an hour later, we were naked in her bed, fucking away.

That became our routine for the week. I’d show up early, dressed for easy access. We’d drive to our spot at the park and fuck, and then go to class.

I made sure to carry towels, wet-wipes, and deodorant in my car. I’d drive her home after school, and we’d spend a couple of hours in her bed.

Most days Flower was at work, but sometimes she’d be home early. She never said anything to us about the noise coming from Cheri’s room. The only sign she noticed was the occasional sly smile after we’d cleaned up.

She always insisted on giving me a hug before I left. Not that ‘air hug’ thing a woman usually gives her daughter’s boyfriend, but a long, full bodied embrace. She made sure to crush her massive breasts against my chest and push her hips against me. She would kiss my cheek too, not a mere peck but a full smooch on the corner of my mouth.

I was a bit nervous the first time she did this. I thought Cheri would be pissed, but she just watched with a smirk on her face before doing the same thing.

On Thursday, Cheri invited me to spend the weekend at her place. Flower was very pleased, and my mom was okay with it, since she was working on a big project for the firm.

That Friday, I had picked Cheri up for school as usual. I had brought a bag of clothes with me. I was going to leave it there. Flower met me at the door. Her hair was in a conservative bun and she was in her lawyer clothes. The suit jacket and blouse covered her chest, but there was no way to hide her amazing curves.

“Hi! C’mon in.” She said, stepping aside to let me enter.

“You can set that in her room. She’s in the shower.”

“Thanks. I’ll be right back.”

I heard the shower running as I dropped my bag next to Cheri’s bed.

I stuck my head into the bathroom. “Hey sweetheart, I’ll be ready when you are.”

She pulled the curtain back giving me a beautiful view of her naked body.

“Thank you baby, I’ll be ready in five minutes.” She blew me a kiss and closed the curtain.

I went back to the kitchen. Flower was rinsing her coffee mug in the sink.

“Looking forward to the weekend?” she asked.

“Yes I am. I wish we could just skip today and make it a four-day weekend.

“You and me both!” she answered. She looked at the clock on the stove. “But I can’t. I have to be in court today, and Cheri has a test in civics.”

“Ah well. School’s almost out for the summer anyway.” I replied.

“At least there’s something to look forward to. Now give me a hug before I have to run.” She said. I opened my arms and she squeezed me tight, making sure to crush her heavy chest against me. As usual, my cock responded to her soft body. I jumped a little when I felt her grab my ass. She smiled and wiggled her belly against my cock. “Oh! Mmm ... I think you have something for Cheri to take care of. I’d offer to help but I have to run.”

She planted a firm kiss on my lips before letting me go.

She picked up her bag and headed for the door.

“Oh, one more thing.” She said, her hand on the doorknob.

“Yes?”

I think it would be better for you two if you had your morning fuck sessions here instead of the park. I’ve heard the cops are stepping up patrols around there lately.”

“Oh ... umm Okay...” I was a little flustered and very horny.

Flower grinned as she stepped out, latching the door behind her.

Flower was officially the coolest mom I knew!

I looked at my watch. There was plenty of time. I headed back to the bathroom.

Cheri was delighted when I stepped into the shower. We took our time soaping and teasing each other, finishing with a deliciously slow fuck before rinsing off.

On the way to school, I told Cheri what her mom had said and how she kissed me before she left. Cheri thought it was hilarious.

“She likes you. It’s her way of flirting. You should flirt back!” She laughed.”

She saw the stunned look on my face and laughed even harder. “No really! She’d love it!”

“Oh come on!” I said. “She’d never-...”

“Yes she would. I’ve seen her check out your package. Kiss her back and feel her up! You could probably fuck her if you wanted!”

“And what would you think about that?” I asked.

Cheri smirked. “It would be fucking hot!” She said, and kissed me.

“You’re fucking with me.” I said.

“Yes. No. Maybe a little ... But it would be fun to watch you tease her.” she smiled.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

We made it to school just in time to get to class.

The day had been especially boring. My classes were easy enough, but I could barely sit still. Emily and Molly were constantly prodding me to pay attention.

When the final bell rang, I bid them a hasty farewell, grabbed my bag and ran for the parking lot.

Cheri was standing by my car. I ran to her and opened the door for her to get in. I went around, and got behind the wheel. Cheri immediately slid over to cuddle against me. I felt her breasts crushing against my arm as she kissed my neck.

“Hi baby!” I said and pulled her in for a kiss. “How was your day?”

“It sucked. I was bored to death.” She kissed me again. “But it’s over and we have three whole days. Now take me to the mall. I need to pick up a few things. “ she giggled.

“Okay, but you hate the mall. What did you need anyway?”

“I need some new bras, the ones I have are too tight.”

“I’ll be happy to help you pick them out, but you’ll need to model them for me.”

Cheri laughed. “So predictable. We’ll see what we can get away with at the store.”

I managed to avoid most of the afternoon rush and make it to the Galleria in good time. Finding a parking space took longer than the drive.

As we ambled through the mall, I indulged a bit of people watching. Normally, I don’t go anywhere near a mall if I can help it. That said, it is fascinating watching people as they pose and chatter while they waste their money.

Cheri surprised me when she didn’t even slow down as we passed Victoria’s Secret.

“Didn’t you want to go there?” I asked.

“Yeah, as if! Cheri snorted. They have some pretty things, but they don’t carry anything bigger than a D cup. I’m wearing a Double D right now and it’s too small.”

She also breezed right by the Lane Bryant without breaking stride.

She shook her head in disgust. “Mediocre quality, and way overpriced. We’re going to Kimberley’s.”

I shrugged and followed her down the mall to a hall off of the main gallery. A sign above the entry read ‘Boutiques”.

All of the shops were small, expensive, and beautifully decorated. Everything from men’s suits, designer dresses, jewelry, and extremely expensive watches were on display.

At the end of the shops, there was a small door next to a small display window with busty mannequins dressed in lingerie. A simple sign read ‘Kimberley’s Lingerie’.

She led me inside.

Our entrance was announced by tinkling bells. No annoying beeps or buzzers here.

We were greeted by a petite, yet generously endowed young woman in a tight white blouse that showcased her curves.

“Hello! Welcome to Kimberley’s! She stepped from behind the counter and stepped closer.

“I’m Jenny, can I help you find anything today?” she asked, leaning forward.

The top of her head barley came up to Cheri’s chin. I looked at her feet. She was wearing heels. She was smaller than I’d thought.

I took her in, admiring her dark eyes and straight black hair. I also noticed her blouse had several buttons open, displaying her cleavage and a hint of silk and lace adorning her surprisingly large breasts. I guessed she wore a D cup, which looked enormous on her small frame.

Cheri noticed that I had noticed. She smirked and elbowed my ribs- gently.

“Hi, I’m Cheri, and I’d like to look around on my own first, please.”

“Sure thing!” She chirped. Just let me know if I can help.” She bubbled. She winked at me and bounced away, giving me a great view of her surprisingly curvy ass.

Cheri nudged me in the ribs, gently. “You can check her out later. Come help me pick some things out.”

I watched as Cheri perused the racks of brassieres, demi-bras, and bralettes in various combinations of silk and lace. I pulled several lace and satin creations from the racks for her approval, but she dismissed each one. “Too plain. Too frilly. Too lacy. Underwires. Does it come in black?” Etc ... After a few minutes, she sighed. “Damn. There’s nothing on the racks. If it fits, it’s too plain. If it’s pretty, it doesn’t fit.”