Memo:

Subject: Lab 18 progress report (Confidential)

To: Directory Committee

From: Dr. C. Tillinghast

As you all know, The Miskatonic Institute of Genetic Engineering has had a smashing success in creating a saurian duplicate from fossil DNA. The particular species is Thescelosaurus, a warm-blooded, plant-eating dinosaur that lived in forests during the late Cretaceous period, about 77 to 65 million years ago. To refresh your memories, Thescelosaurus had a small head, a bulky body, a long, pointed tail, and short arms. It was a hypsilophodontid and an ornithischian dinosaur about 10 to 13 feet (3-4 m) long and 3 feet (0.9 m) tall at the hips; it weighed roughly 665 pounds (300 kg). This ornithopod had a small skull, cheek pouches, cheek teeth, and a beak made of horn.

This breakthrough has yielded a treasure trove of information about the age of dinosaurs and is a milestone in the annals of science. Biologically we have gleaned volumes of fascinating details and made monumental discoveries. However, the study of behavioral aspects this creature is in its infancy. To address this gap in our knowledge, my research team (Lab 18) had been assigned to study this specimen’s behavior, in particular its mating behavior. The genetics of sexual determination had not been worked out at that point in time and only males had been produced, which placed us at a great disadvantage.

With no other recourse, we sought a sexual surrogate to coax the male into a breeding display. It had been supposed that the seasonal development of intense coloration was a sign of sexual maturity and was used in display to females. The animal’s compulsive mounting behavior was also an indication of his readiness for mating. However, the mere whiff of the dinosaur’s scent sent our mammal breeding surrogates into a wild panic and no suitable mounting partner could be found to allow investigation of his copulatory behavior.

One of the undergraduate interns, a sophomore woman, had experienced the dinosaur’s many attempts to mount and was not particularly offended by his intentions. It was eventually delicately proposed by the Senior Researcher that she allow the animal to attempt to complete his act. To some people’s surprise the idea was not only accepted but she seemed genuinely interested in trying and not in an entirely scientific mind set.

It had been noted that the herbivorous dinosaur, although no rocket scientist, was careful about clawing anyone so there was no great concern about her being injured that way. So, the experiment proceeded on the very next day.

She stripped naked and presented herself to the male on her hands and knees. There was no doubt in the animal’s mind as to her intentions. However, although he mounted her fairly gently, it took some time for him to adjust his instinctive method of mounting to the rather different anatomical arrangement of the human female. It was mostly the lack of a sizable tail that threw off his technique.

The creature made several attempts of treating her leg like a tail that he could lift while bringing his tail under and thrusting his sex organs under her hip. His sexual organs emerged accordingly but finding no aperture for copulation, his penile protrusion only rubbed aimlessly against her stomach. Finally, he re-adapted his approach and came from behind. After the initial difficulties, things went fairly smoothly.

She had been shaved in case the pubic hair might put him off, as it was extremely unlikely that female dinosaurs had any hair. His organ was about seven centimeters thick and extended about 45 centimeters from his cloaca. Its tip slipped against and then in between the woman’s labia slightly inserted into her vaginal orifice. Sensing that he had the right opening for copulation he slowly thrust himself into her vagina.

The animal’s sex organs were sizable but were initially fairly soft. Startled by his size and unusual texture, the woman gasped on penetration but did not experience any great pain. The dinosaur was warm blooded, as had been theorized, but had a body temperature more like a bird than a mammal, at a hot 107 degrees F. (42 C) making the insertion slightly uncomfortable until she became used to it. However, he proved to be well lubricated so there was little discomfort from friction.

As if surprised by his success the animal paused after the initial insertion. Then with slow patient thrusts he began to copulate with the young student. The human vagina apparently suited his natural requirements quite well. After lodging his sex-organs securely in his surrogate mate, he encircled her hips with his hind legs while grasping her shoulders with his front claws. Since his penile appendage seemed to have a life of its own and thrust itself in and about her vagina completely of its own accord, we theorized that his embrace was to prevent disengagement more than an aid to his copulatory motions.

This theory was strengthened by the endurance of their coitus. From the time of insertion until he withdrew, the mating took a total of 26 minutes, 32 seconds. The embrace must therefore be a mechanism to secure him to his mate while allowing her to feed. As mentioned earlier, with the exception of his penile organ, he remained completely motionless for the duration.

Once settled into this position, we were able to approach the couple and observe his yet unseen sexual organs in use. Its suppleness and dexterity were quite amazing. The organ must be considerably sensitive especially near the tip for as he mounted our volunteer, it actually groped its way around her exposed posterior and crotch until it found her sexual opening. The tip altered its shape from a blunt instrument into a delicate point and excreted a kind of pre-coital fluid to aid insertion. Once it had gained entry, it snaked (please excuse the pun) its way inside to immerse as much of itself as her vagina would allow in a surge and probe assault as though searching for deeper recesses.

What remained of his penile appendage not inserted in the surrogate we observed a ruddy, scaled surface that throbbed from beneath in the same rhythm as his pulse. At that point, what the organ was doing inside her vagina we could only guess. Insemination began shortly after he had implanted his sex organ securely and comfortably within her vagina. As the deposit of his semen progressed, we were to observe an abundant overflow of his ejaculate seeping out of the surrogate’s vagina and on to the floor.

We of course collected a sample and found that this seminal fluid was exceptionally thick and viscose with a high concentration of sperm but low motility. The slow injection of his semen continued for quite some time resulting in copious quantities of his issue spilling on the floor by the time it stopped. When his insemination finally did cease, he maintained coital contact for some 10 more minutes to, we believe, help insure conception.

Later gynecological examination of the surrogate revealed no damage or irritation to vaginal tissue, perhaps somewhat less than in typical human relations. The most significant find was that seminal fluid had congealed into an impenetrable plug within our volunteer’s cervix. This plug was obviously a natural barricade to block insemination from rival males. The plug dissipated over the course of 36 hours, which we believe may shed some light on the estrus period for the female of the species.

In spite of such natural impediments, the male stayed close by his mate and was quick to take advantage of our surrogate’s prone, acquiescent position to accomplish two successive mounts. Each of these were less thorough than the first and were most likely an added precautionary measure or perhaps an action designed to keep the female preoccupied and inaccessible to other suitors.

During his last foray into our volunteer’s charms, an overly zealous thrust of his hips caused the saurian’s member to dislodge from its anchorage, slip out from between her legs and slide up over her posterior. This gave us an excellent opportunity for us to witness this organ in use. We did not approach for fear of alarming him but rather we zoomed in with our cameras to examine his sex organ in detail. His expulsion occurred during his seminal emission phase and provided us with a wealth of data.

As evidenced by the video tape, the penile appendage emerged from the male’s lower cloaca as a broad, flat, pinkish colored protrusion of about 20 cm wide and 4 cm thick. The shape abruptly tapers to a roughly cylindrical instrument of about 7-cm in diameter. The tip was completely transformed from what we observed when he penetrated her. The end-most 8-cm had swollen from its original taper to a bloated, furrowed head of about 6 cm in diameter with a deep red hue. The very end was an inwardly concave, cup with the seminal aperture in the center. The entire head writhed and undulated as if groping for recessive purchase. The indented end pumped inward and outward like a suction cup. As it struggled in the open-air copious amounts of thick semen oozed out lugubriously from the center. The remaining portion of the cylindrical shaft between the head and the cloaca was firm and rigid. A musculature array beneath the skin’s surface rippled up and down the shaft in the same rhythm as the seminal ejection, obviously to propel the ejaculate.