It was the late eighties and the darkest, lowest, saddest point in my life. I had attempted suicide a week earlier and now I existed in that grey aftershock of depression which lingers afterward. It was a year after my first hospitalization for a suicide attempt and being diagnosed with clinical depression. It had been a year of failures. I failed my first year of college, lost my job and was hopelessly a failure with the ladies. My first week was spent with my nose buried in a book, Dune, which a friend I’ve known since kindergarten suggested I read. THEY FINALLY witnessed what I now know as an angry manic episode. THEY, the nurses gave me Librium and put me to bed as the tranquilizer took hold. It was the first time I ever had a tranquilizer and I slept from three in the afternoon until seven in the morning.

Morning brought new rays of sunshine to my heart and life as sunlight glinted off of HER dirty blonde hair. I was instantly attracted to her as I entered the cafeteria of the hospital psyche ward I was imprisoned for my own good. I was shy and terrified of her radiant beauty; doing everything to avoid her. From the mandatory group therapy session I learned her name was Sue Ann Johnson and she learned my name. She was more out-going than I and in that making-the-best-of-it sombre state of depression. Even without make-up or fancy clothes Sue Ann was heavenly to gaze upon.

On the third day of avoiding her we had mandatory group therapy where I could no longer avoid her. In group I barely paid any attention to anything others said until she announced to the entire group that she was annoyed by me avoiding her and she thought I hated her. I blushed and openly admitted I was attracted to her and very shy; in front of our psychiatrist group facilitator and half dozen fellow patients. After the group session I overcame my shyness and joined her across the cafeteria table with a coffee. We talked and began to get to know each other a little better. We both had gleaned information from listening to conversations we had with others. That was my first hint to her attraction to me; possibly even her annoyance at me for avoiding her. A woman that beautiful must not be used to people, especially men, avoiding her.

That was the beginning of our relationship. Whenever I saw her in the cafeteria section I would join her at a table either across from her or beside her. After doing this a couple times, I thought she might think I was stalking her and sat at a nearby table or at the end of her table. She either invited me to sit near or beside her or she would join me at my table. That’s how I knew we were friends and the attraction was mutual. Through our conversations I learned: that she was the single mother of a 3 year old daughter, she was suicidal after her boyfriend and her daughter’s father broke up with her, she lived with her mother in the same part of the city I lived and she was eighteen a couple years younger than I was; twenty. I was further along, more knowledgeable about coping techniques and ways to deal positively with stress than Sue Ann was at that time. Most of the time we simply enjoyed each other’s company within the male/female separation which is normal on a psyche ward. Then came release day.

Back then in the eighties a standard time for a suicide attempt was three weeks after being medically cleared to tackle the mental health part of their problem. Then, depending upon the patient, it was either more outpatient group therapy in the hospital. Or, in my case, group therapy in the community at a government funded mental health organisation. Sometimes for the more stable of us like the cyclothymic (a sub-type of bipolar disorder with moderate depressions and moderate euphoric manic highs) Sue Ann, they get released a bit early and only needed to see a psychiatrist at regular appointments. Luckily Sue Ann got discharged a day before I did.

As Sue left, she asked for my phone number and address saying she would call in a couple days or so after I got discharged. I had nothing to lose and doubted she would call me. Beautiful five foot seven blonde nineteen year old Caucasian women with a great figure don’t call an average or slightly less than average five eleven, black haired, brown eyed, one eighth Blackfoot mentally ill twenty year old man like me; Derek O’Reilly. After spending a day making appointments for counselling and marking my next shrink appointment, getting caught up on basic life I sat back to relax. Early evening just after supper time Sue Ann actually phoned me. She decided to come over the next morning and we would walk to a nearby marsh I raved about when we were in hospital together. Apparently my basement apartment was slightly closer to the marsh than her mother’s house so I met her at the side door entrance to my apartment.

I had my Canon AE-1 camera, a gift from my parents on my 16th birthday, along with a wide angled lens for scenery shots. We walked slowly with Sue Ann holding the hand of her daughter Sarah making it to the marsh in fifteen minutes instead of my usual ten minutes. I certainly was not complaining since I was walking next to a beautiful blue-eyed blonde wearing skin-tight slightly faded blue jeans, a thick buttoned white blouse, high-top running shoes with a friendship bracelet on one wrist and a watch on the other wrist. As we walked the wind played havoc with her high fluffy classic “80s hair”. Once there we instantly saw a mated pair of swans and after I pointed toward their nests we saw the truly unique birds of this area; black terns. As we walked around the western edge of the marsh we saw other birds like herring gulls and mallard ducks. There were other typical marsh birds there also like red-winged blackbirds and some sparrows, chickadees and finches. Next was the beach.

This marsh was only separated from the northern shore of Lake Ontario by a roughly ten metre strip of sand and well-rounded pebbly beach. As we walked along the wind-swept beach, little Sarah was having a great time chasing gulls and picking up pieces driftwood or beautiful quartz and shale pebbles. As we walked close to each other somehow our hands found the others and we were holding hands. Our lips were getting closer and closer, then as Sarah turned towards us Sue broke away from me running the couple metres ahead of us to see what suddenly got her daughter’s attention. I was puzzled by the sudden cold shoulder as we were seconds from kissing. I decided to wait before asking why the kiss never happened.

My chance came as little Sarah ran ahead of us. I stood in front of Sue Ann to stop her.

“Why?”

“My EX-boyfriend Jay, Sarah’s father, is threatening to sue for custody. He already has my hospitalization against me. I know he still desires me despite breaking up with me. I’ll use that to keep him from trying for sole custody instead of weekends only. Mother likes Jay more than she likes me, but it would break her heart to only see Sarah on the weekends. I DO want you to make love to me. We cannot show our feelings in front of Sarah in case it gets back to Jay or mother. Jay will be picking up Sarah soon, so I must get home and I promise to call you tonight. Maybe we can meet accidentally for coffee?”

I nearly choked on my own tongue with that “make love” part. Whatever this angelic woman wanted was fine with me.

“I get it and I understand the predicament you’re in. Coffee sounds great.”

I watched as that beautiful ass went bouncing away from me. I could barely walk with the hard on I had from seeing Sue Ann leave and being so close to her a few minutes earlier. Later that night around midnight I was awakened by a phone call.

“Meet us at the coffee shop on Cedar and Wentworth at 10 in the morning.”

“Who is this? Who is US?”

“Sue Ann, have you forgotten me already? The US is my friends and I.”

“No, sorry I’m half asleep still. Okay, I’ll see you and your friends at ten at Cedar and Wentworth in the coffee shop.”

I fell asleep to a wonderful dream of making love to three beautiful women. Then after a few minutes they vanished into smoke and out of a blazing light walked a naked Sue Ann. In my dream I made love to Sue Ann all night long. In the morning at ten I was at the coffee shop eating a breakfast sandwich meal sipping a coffee. We talked and before Sue Ann left we arranged to go on a couple walks on Tuesday and Thursday morning. She said that on Friday she would pretend to go to a cottage with these friends after Sarah got picked up by her father and instead of the cottage, her friends would drop her off at my place.

Tuesday we walked along Oshawa Creek from Wentworth Street to Lakeview Park when Sue Ann had to return home. After the suicide attempt her mother kept her on a short leash time wise and where she was going. Thursday Sarah and Sue Ann came to my tiny basement apartment, we grabbed a couple of water bottles from my fridge and walked first to the marsh we were at last week where we once again saw the swans and black terns. We followed the trail from there to Lakeview Park on a surprisingly warm mid-April morning. When we parted at the marsh I could barely walk from how hard my dick was watching Sue Ann leave. It was going to be a very HARD twenty six hours when I would see Sue Ann again.

Since I was on long-term disability from my slightly above minimum wage factory job I had time to get some candles and one of those flower smelling plug-in air freshener at a dollar store. I picked up some sparkling white grape juice since we both were on psyche meds and booze would make us seriously ill if taken together. I also got a small affordable bouquet of flowers and a cheap glass vase. At the last minute I almost forgot the condoms. I took a nap until my alarm clock woke me at five. A little after six Sue Ann was dropped off at my apartment.

Sue Ann had picked up a large pizza for us. Our first time alone was awkward as we were unsure what we wanted to do or what the other wanted. I broke the ice by getting glasses and the chilled sparkling apple juice. That seemed to ease the tension. After only a single slice of pizza each, our desire for each other got the best of us. The food and drink was soon forgotten as we made out on the couch. Soon, clothes began to come off in a frenzy until we were down to our underwear and my eyes widened as I gazed upon the barely visible rosy red nipples of her 36 C breasts through a black lace bra and a neatly trimmed natural blonde pussy barely hidden by matching black lace panties. I was only wearing boxer shorts and saw her looking down and only then realized the tip of my very hard dick was poking out of the waistband of my underwear. I blushed for a second and soon had my attention brought to where it belonged; on Sue Ann.

Next off came the bra exposing her beautiful still firm breasts and, as I gazed at their beauty Sue Ann yanked down my boxers to reveal my seven inch hard dick. Sue Ann reached out and stroked my dick a few times. I moved her to lay back on the couch, pulled off her panties and began licking her already moist pussy. I must have been doing something right or it had been some time since she last had sex since she was cumming after only a short time. I let her rest a minute and then began to lick her to a second orgasm. She was moaning and bucking a lot; suddenly stopping. She grabbed my head, moved me up her body, kissed me passionately, grabbed my very hard dick, placed me at her entrance and then thrust upward forcing me into her. I got the message and eased into her sopping pussy inch by inch until all of me was completely buried in her hot young pussy. I was surprised how tight she was since she had given birth a few years ago and had a boyfriend some time ago. All thoughts of that quickly vanished as instinct kicked in and I began to fuck that beautiful natural blonde woman.

We fucked seemingly for hours, but in reality it must have been more like a frenzied ten minutes, when I was close to cumming. I pulled out of that wonderful pussy and moved us into my bedroom where I positioned her into my favourite position; doggie style. I grabbed those wonderful full wide motherly hips, gave her pussy a few licks from behind and eased back into her. I stroked her beautiful olive skin of her back as I fucked her from behind and reached under her to fondle those gorgeous C cup breasts with their rosy pink nipples. When I was getting close I reached under her and began to gently rub her clit until she came. I tried to pull out to cum on her ass, but her clenching pussy had a death grip on my dick. I warned her I was about to cum and she merely responded by pushing back at me. I gave up on trying to pull out and after a few quick short pumps to get even deeper into her pussy I finally came.

We collapsed onto the bed with me on top of her still buried in her pussy. I rolled us onto our side and began to slowly pump Sue Ann slowly until I regained my full hardness. Sue Ann pulled away from me, rolled me onto my back and mounted me looking me in the eyes as slowly rode herself to a long relaxing orgasm. She leaned forward and kissed me. After a minute of rest Sue Ann was getting a little dry and moved into a sixty-nine on top of me. I licked her to orgasm while she occasionally would suck my dick to keep me hard. She rested a minute and then mounted me again facing away from me. The sight of that wide beautiful ass moving up and down as Sue Ann rode my dick set me off. I warned her and she rode me harder, faster while rubbing her clit until I came shooting cum deep in her pussy. That triggered her orgasm and ended her ride.

Sue Ann laid back against my chest exhausted as I lovingly stroked the side of her lean tall body, cupped her large round C cup breasts ending as I gingerly petted the blonde landing strip of hair above her pussy. Sue Ann shivered as I gently petted her and then I rolled us onto our side still connected. Neither of us were eager to disconnect from each other. I kissed her neck, wrapped an arm around her as we fell asleep spooning. I knew from studying symptoms she was experiencing hyper-sexuality and might disregard safe sex, but since she had seen the condoms I assumed she must be on the pill. I’m a young guy and a stiff wind can get us hard; especially a hot naked woman. Maybe I was also experiencing hyper-sexuality?

I was too new to bipolar disorder to identify individual symptoms and warning signs. Life was too short to dissect, examine and identify normal feelings from enhanced magnified bipolar feelings. I had a beautiful, kind woman who shared many of my own interests in my arms naked with my dick wilting inside of her. Who cares about what was real or not! I still had another day and a half to treat this special lady like the Queen I knew her to be. I could see what a struggle it was for her and how important it was for her to be a single parent while dealing with a newly diagnosed mental illness while keeping our relationship a secret. The next day and half would be our little bit of “clothing optional paradise”. I could easily imagine an entire life with her watching little Sarah grow up with maybe a brother or sister. That last pleasant thought sent me into dreamland.

I woke up to the smell of coffee and the sizzle of bacon being cooked. I was glad I had packed that tiny fridge full of food for this weekend. I was even happier that Sue Ann had found them and knew how to cook. I knew enough not to assume women knew how to cook. This was the more enlightened late 80s and not the backward 50s of my grandmother’s time. Sue was still naked and was wearing an apron I had hanging on a nearby wall. I didn’t see any reason to get dressed either.

We ate breakfast with some orange juice, took our morning meds and talked over coffee. We both seemed positive and happy how things turned out last night. I got up to help clear the table and wash dishes. Sue still had the apron on and as she collected dishes, she dropped a fork on the floor, bent over displaying that nice heart shaped wide ass; exposing her pussy to me. I was in the process of getting up to pick it up myself, but gazing at that ass and exposed pussy had me stumbling face first into her pussy. I grabbed an ass cheek in each hand to steady myself and began licking her to an orgasm.

Once satisfied, the dishes were soon forgotten, she tossed them in the sink and led me to the tiny shower. I lovingly washed her body with a soapy washcloth and rinsed her. It took all my strength not to fuck her before I soaped her up. Sue apparently had the same idea as she got on her knees and began to suck me to full hardness. Once satisfied with her job, Sue bent over against a wall of the shower, spread her legs and wiggled her ass invitingly in my direction. I got the message and fucked her in the shower until the water turned cold and I brought her to orgasm; followed by me a few minutes later. I eased out of her and eagerly dried her off. Sue returned the favour spending extra time drying my dick, balls and ass. Then it was back to bed.

Sue noticed the start of my movie collection as I had only recently joined a mail order movie club with discounts on new VHS movies. I couldn’t afford cable, but my parents had given me a VHS player and I had a few comedies; along with Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”. My little TV could also get the local couple of Toronto TV stations and sometimes the Rochester or Buffalo PBS station which I loved for Dr. Who. Sue picked one of the comedies and cuddled in bed with me. It was great having that beautiful body pressed against my side. Her perfect pink capped breasts poked against my chest and side. Her warm pussy was pressed against my thigh with her right leg draped over my right leg. My right hand cupped her right ass cheek. Periodically I would bend down to kiss her lips until first Sue and then I fell asleep. I did have enough awareness to turn the TV off with the remote control.