Chapter 1

Hi, I’m Hannibal Lee, though most people call me “Han.” This is my version of how all of this happened. Yeah, I know there are a lot of books, TV series, and movies about it, but none of them that I’ve seen are from the personal level. Well, I was 14 years old when the fun started, and this is what happened to me.

It was a summer afternoon, and I was on my way home after seeing Chapter 18 of the “Star Wars” saga for the sixth time. Even after seeing the movie that many times, I was still confused about how Han Solo was brought back to life. Oh, well, maybe that would be cleared up in Chapter 19.

I had stopped in at the local Electronics Warehouse Emporium for another look at the latest 108-inch TV set. A baseball game was on, and it felt like the pitcher was throwing the ball right at my head. I think I ducked at every pitch. I really wanted one of those suckers for my bedroom to use for playing Diablo VI. Blizzard was supposed to release it next week, and I already had my copy on order.

Anyway, there were about 40-something TVs all turned to different programs, but suddenly they all cut to the same program. That meant that there was something important about to come on. Was World War III about to start?

The voice-over from the TV said, “Greetings, people of Earth. My name would mean nothing to you, so just call me Alien. I am talking to you from a spaceship on the far side of your Moon where I cannot be seen from the surface of Earth. I represent a group who wants nothing but good for you. I come bearing two gifts, and there are no strings attached.

“One of the gifts is an electric power supply that generates both AC and DC at whatever voltage and current you might need. There are no adjustments to be made by the user because the power supply can sense what is needed and will supply that demand. There are even several different style sockets on the power supply so that no changes will have to be made to plug into it. The user might prefer to plug all of the home wiring at the junction box into the power supply and not have to worry about it.

“The power supply does not run off of conventional power, but runs directly off of the Dark Energy that permeates the universe. Therefore, the power supply will work no matter where it is placed and will cost you nothing to operate. As far as you are concerned, Dark Energy is free and will never run out as long as the universe lasts.

“The other gift is what we call a replicator. This device is the ultimate in home appliances. It can supply almost anything you could possibly want. The only exception is that it cannot supply living beings. You might say there is a simple reason for that. The replicator requires a software program to work, and no one has ever been able to reduce life to a mathematical formula.

“All you have to do to use the replicator is to speak into the builtin microphone in any of 7,392 languages and what you describe will be delivered to you. Of course, a very complex item would take longer than a simple item, but the longest wait will probably be no more than two or three minutes.

“The raw material for the replicator is Dark Matter which also permeates the universe. You never have to recharge the replicator because Dark Matter is everywhere and can never run out as long as the universe lasts.

“Some of you will already have received your gifts, and the rest of you will receive them before the end of the day. Good luck to you, and we will be in contact with you again soon. Goodby for now.”

At that point, the TVs all returned to the programs they had been carrying.

Oh, boy, I could have a 108” display in my bedroom tonight if I rush home right now to order one from the replicator. I had my bicycle, so I didn’t have long to wait before I got home. Hey, maybe I can order a motor to go on my bicycle so that I won’t have to peddle. Oh, shit, Mom will probably veto that, but I can ask, I guess.

The power supply and replicator were sitting in our driveway when I got home. Mom had called Dad home from work to get it moved inside the house. He had not heard the alien’s message, so the whole thing was news to him. He wasn’t so sure that he wanted to move those strange devices into the house, but Mom prevailed. The power supply went into the basement and the replicator went into the kitchen.

I was sent to buy a 50’ extension cord at the nearest hardware store, and I did that in practically no time. Back home, Dad and I ran the extension cord from the power supply up the basement stairs to plug into the replicator. As soon as those connections were made, every TV, radio, computer display, and smart phone came on to play a rerun of the alien’s message that Dad had not heard.

I heard him mutter, “I’ll bet there is a catch to it somewhere.” However, I did notice that he was careful not to let Mom hear him say that.

Mom said, “Okay, Hannibal (She was usually the only one who called me that.), you are probably hungry, so order something to eat.” Never one to miss an opportunity, I said, “Replicator, please deliver a toasted ham and cheese on seeded rye bread and a Coke.”

A voice came out of the machine, “Do you want mayonnaise on your sandwich?”

Without thinking, I said, “Yes, please.” Only moments later, a blue hazy light appeared on the counter beside the replicator. Inside that blue haze suddenly appeared a sandwich and glass of cola with ice in it.

I wasted no time and grabbed my sandwich and glass and sat down to enjoy my snack. Mom and Dad laughed and joined me with cups of coffee also from the replicator. We all agreed that these items were the best tasting that we had ever encountered. Dad said, “Well, I guess that I can figure out where all of our food is coming from for now own.” Mom laughed and nodded. I shrugged because that was not my problem.

“Dad, Mom, can I use the replicator to make a new TV for my room. You heard the alien say that it won’t cost anything.” Dad shrugged and Mom nodded, but I’ll bet that they were surprised when I ordered the new 108” Ariso TV.

The replicator responded with, “That item is too large to fit on the counter. May I deposit it on the floor?”

At my “Go ahead,” the blue haze came on and a monster box appeared on the floor in front of the replicator. That noise you just heard was the echo from the noise of our three jaws hitting the floor. I don’t think that any of us really believed that the replicator would follow my order.

I looked at Dad, and Dad looked at me. “Okay, Han, now what?” I knew that he was kidding, and I was right. He helped me to get the new TV into my room and set up temporarily on my low chest of drawers. The two of us worked together and managed to get the TV into operation in about half an hour. I already had a cable connection to my room, so that was no problem. Wow, when we turned the TV on, the picture was so large that it was nearly overpowering. It had not looked nearly that big in the store.

Okay, now Dad had to have one for the sports that he liked to watch. We went back to the kitchen, and I ordered a duplicate TV for the family room. We set that one up, and it was time for “Wheel of Fortune,” which was Mom’s favorite show. We all watched that, and Vanna was a giant. This was a taped show, so everybody was excited when the last contestant walked off at the end with $17, 650 and a trip to Aruba. I didn’t say anything to Mom, but I wondered what would happen when they started taping shows after the advent of the replicator.

I did stay long enough to watch an NCIS rerun. I wonder how much longer before Mark Harmon will retire, though he still can do a lot from that wheel chair.

Wow, Diablo V was really something on my new TV! I finally shut down when Dad reminded me of church tomorrow. I went to sleep dreaming of playing the new Millennium Falcon flight simulator on my new TV.