Chapter 6

God Blessed Texas with his own hand – Brought down angels from the Promised Land – gave them a place where they could dance. If you want to see heaven brother, here’s your chance.

Little Texas

When her phone chimed Pamela was surprised that she’d actually been asleep. She’d been pretty keyed up and with the cross-country travel, changes in time zones, and worry about James, her sleep schedule had been disrupted to the point she hardly knew what day it was.

A glance at her phone showed it was near four in the afternoon. There was a message from Sarah Evans alerting her that she and James were on their way and would arrive in about fifteen minutes.

Fortunately, during her travels Dillon had been there to help her keep things in perspective and to take care of her, including urging her to have ‘a bit of an afternoon lie down.’

Shaking off sleep, Pamela made her way to the en-suite lost in thought.

For the longest time after her divorce she had resisted the idea of hiring a personal assistant, or anyone else to take care of her. After the disaster of her relationship with Tom, she was also comfortable with the idea that she would never remarry. She had survived the bitter divorce with her assets intact plus a substantial amount grudgingly surrendered by Tom. Now she was an independent and wealthy business woman with a team of attorneys and accountants, and various functionaries whose job was to keep things off her plate and running smoothly. Pamela also had an excellent assistant at her office. Her small household staff worked well without much supervision. The idea of a personal assistant seemed much too pretentious, and Pamela just couldn’t imagine having someone at her beck and call twenty-four-seven.

She and Cassandra did decide they would, on occasion, hire someone to provide security when they were out in the evenings. This was precipitated by a frightening encounter with a drugged crazy with a knife who accosted Pamela and Cassandra in a parking garage after a symphony performance in downtown San Francisco - they’d escaped shaken but unharmed, minus two purses.

On the whole they were unimpressed with the quality of the people who were assigned to protect them. The security profession in San Francisco was saturated by mediocre ex-cops and military, with over-inflated egos. What the private security people failed to understand was that Pamela and Cassandra wanted understated and unobtrusive protection. Of course, many clients hired security because they were making a statement. Pamela and Cassandra simply wanted to avoid encounters with criminals, or anyone else they didn’t want to deal with.

One Saturday morning she and Cassandra were sitting at the breakfast table in the sunny room off the kitchen, going over the monthly household accounts, when Pamela threw up her hands, “This is ridiculous. It’s a beautiful day and I really want to be out playing tennis but I’m stuck doing this!”

Cassandra had looked at her over her coffee cup. “It’s time to find someone to take care of it – not like we can’t afford to hire someone.”

“You’re talking about a household manager?”

“Yes, there’s no reason for either of us to be doing what amounts to bookkeeping and taking care of the minutiae that comes with running a household. Lupe cooks and shops for groceries, but paying the credit card bill for food expenses falls to us. Arina keeps the place clean, and helps around the house, but do we have any idea what’s reasonable for cleaning supplies, or when she hires someone to wash the outside windows? The yard always looks great but do we know if Miguel is taking us to the cleaners on what he charges? We simply total up the expenses and pay them without ever examining the details.”

“Cassandra, I don’t think we’re being cheated.”

“You’re probably right, but how would we know without looking at every single expense? More importantly, neither of us has the time nor the inclination to arrange for getting the cars in for maintenance, coordinating with the cable people, routine house maintenance and all that other stuff. Two weeks ago I was stuck here most of the morning waiting for a plumber and before that you had to take time off to get bids from roofing contractors.”

They interviewed several candidates, mostly women. To their frustration, all seemed to all have a great sense of entitlement and a list of demands about pay, working hours, and the types of things they would absolutely not do. In most cases it seemed there were more things they refused to do than those they were grudgingly willing to do.

One day Cassandra pointed out an on-line article about the advantages of an authentic English butler. The article touted the fact that a butler was trained to be a household manager, but it also gushed about how impressed and envious your friends would be if you employed a butler. Pamela couldn’t imagine such a thing – talk about pretentious – and laughingly dismissed the idea out of hand.

Unbeknownst to Pamela, Cassandra contacted the agency referenced in the article and after looking at several résumés she identified one Dillon Chandler as a person they might want to interview. In desperation, and despite her misgivings, Pamela agreed.

Dillon arrived dressed in a perfectly fitted gray suit. He was quiet, and respectful, but not obsequious, and he expressed a willingness to do anything to help the household to include driving, riding herd on the household expenses, dealing with ‘tradesmen, ‘ and making sure the staff was supervised. He was also familiar with minor household maintenance. As a bonus, Dillon had the military background to provide security and was willing to do so. He also understood ‘understated and unobtrusive’ when necessary. The fact he was handsome, physically fit and had a very dry sense of humor certainly made their decision easier. The staff fell in love with him and Pamela and Cassandra quickly discovered that they just couldn’t do without him.

Pamela recalled a time about six months after he started work when he was driving her home from some evening social function and she had asked when he was planning to take vacation.

He glanced in the rearview mirror. “Ms. Hawthorn,” - she had refused to let him address her as Madam, or Ma’am - “I live in northern California in a very nice apartment provided by you, my commute on foot is about one minute, my meals are provided and I have most Sundays off. Above all, you and Ms. Cassandra are wonderful employers. I don’t feel the need for a holiday.”

She couldn’t help but smile at his response, and truth be told she didn’t want him to be gone for any amount of time. “If you change your mind, please let me know.” He did make a couple of trips each year to visit his daughter in the UK, but each time he was gone she found herself counting the days until his return.

Pamela selected a dark skirt and sweater combination from the closet. She added a pale jade pendant on a heavy gold chain and matching earrings James had given her for her birthday one year. She absently ran a brush through her hair and applied some makeup and lipstick. Finally she selected some medium heel pumps and inspected herself in the antique cheval mirror.

Ready or not, here we go.

She went down the hall to get Cassandra and was surprised when Cassandra came out of her room before she could even knock. She was holding her phone, apparently having received a text from Sarah also.

Cassandra had mirrored the youthful look from the day before when they were traveling: full skirt, cashmere sweater and flats with just a hint of makeup. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail. It amused Pamela that even without Lieutenant Noah Matthews’ presence Cassandra had altered her style of dress, at least for now. She typically wore the uniform of most of the other women on campus, jeans and a sweater. Even on the warmest days – which were few and far between at Stanford, just south of San Francisco – a sweater was a wise choice since the air conditioned classrooms seemed to be perpetually set on ‘glacial.’

Cassandra had monopolized Noah’s time on the plane so Pamela had only spoken to him briefly during the trip and upon arrival in Tulsa. She had to admit it wasn’t all Cassandra’s fault that she hadn’t been able to get to know him better. She’d been suffering from information overload after their meeting with Lieutenant Paulson at Walter Reed, and was beset with worry over James’ wounds and his decision to leave the hospital and the Marines without authorization. She was thankful that Dillon had been there.

So much for a strong independent woman who doesn’t need someone to take care of her.

She shook her head. Dillon wasn’t like that. He took care of all the little things before they became big things, and he never presumed to talk to her about her businesses or investments, unlike Tom who thought he had all the answers.

She had noticed that Dillon had taken a few minutes during the flight to Tulsa to go to the rear of the plane and chat with Noah. They seemed to get along well. How typical of Dillon – looking after Cassandra too - taking on the role her father Tom couldn’t or wouldn’t do.

During her brief time with Noah, Pamela had discovered he was polite and soft-spoken, with just a hint of what she thought of as an Oklahoma accent. More importantly, he treated Cassandra like a princess, and it was obvious that Cassandra was as smitten as he was.

When they left the plane in Tulsa, Pamela watched the two men. Dillon assisted Noah down the short steps from the plane and stood by while he got his crutches stabilized. It seemed each had got the measure of the other and Noah had come to understand how Dillon felt about Cassandra.

Noah’s parents, Todd and Valerie, met them at the private jet terminal at Tulsa. His mother hugged him tearfully, while his father stood by looking proud and relieved. Noah made introductions while Cassandra stood with one arm around his waist, making it clear how she felt.

Todd and Valerie were very grateful that Pamela had detoured to Tulsa, and were quick with a heartfelt invitation for Pamela and family to visit. Cassandra gave Noah a very tender goodbye kiss, and was teary-eyed when she returned to the plane.

Just before takeoff, Pamela whispered to Dillon, “I’d love to hear the conversation between Noah and his parents, especially when he explains he’s only known Cassandra a few hours.”

As they met in the hallway outside her room, Pamela noticed Cassandra seemed a bit flushed.

“Are you okay?”

She blushed slightly. “I was on the phone with Noah when I got Sarah’s text.”

Pamela smiled. “And how is Noah?”

“He says he misses me, and he wants to see me.”

“And you’ve been apart since yesterday? Sounds serious. I suppose you want to borrow the jet?”

Cassandra blushed. “I think it is serious. I’ve never felt this way. I’ve had crushes before, but this is so different, so unexpected. I just want to be with him ... to feel his arms around me and to have him look at me.”

“Oh?”

Cassandra shook her head, and with just a hint of a smile, said, “That didn’t come out right. It’s just that when he looks at me I want to be a better person ... to be the person he sees.”

Pamela nodded. “It’s different when you meet a man instead of a boy pretending to be a man.”

It was Cassandra’s turn to nod. She looked thoughtful and touched her mother’s hand. “Kind of like with Dillon ... and you.”

“That obvious?”

Cassandra took her mother’s hands, thinking how fortunate she was to have this remarkable woman as her mother. “He loves you very much, and there’s no doubt he’s a man.”

It was Pamela’s turn to blush.

Cassandra had to suppress a giggle. “Oh, it’s like that is it?”

Pamela smiled. “Yes.”

She hugged her mother. “I’m glad.” She stepped back slightly. “I hope you’ll make an honest man of him soon.”

Her mother looked serious. “You don’t mind then?”

Cassandra shook her head. “Mind? How could you think that? I love Dillon almost as much as you do. I’ll be proud to introduce him as my father.”

Pamela noticed she hadn’t said step-father. She hugged her daughter.

“By the way, where is Dillon?”

“He’s taking the flight crew to dinner. He thought it might be better if we met James on our own.”

Cassandra looked thoughtful. “He’s probably right, although it feels a bit funny that he’s not here, considering...”

“Considering?”

“Considering the close relationship we have with him.”

They walked to the parlor of the B&B which looked out over the perfectly kept front garden, carefully pruned and ready for the spring to come. The room was furnished with antiques from the time the large house was built in 1880. Too keyed-up to sit, they paced the room ignoring the tufted, inviting, furniture.

Cassandra stopped and stared out the large front window. “I’ve offered to rent a car and drive up to Tulsa to meet Noah sometime in the next couple of days. He said his parents have a big place and I’d be welcome to stay with them.”

“Separate bedrooms?”

Cassandra was shocked before catching on that her mother was teasing. Then she smiled. “Of course.”

Pamela took her hand. “Noah seems like a fine person, but I think we should see to James before you make any plans to run off to Tulsa, don’t you?”

‘Oh ... guess I got a little ahead of myself. After talking to Sarah and Emily earlier today, I just had it in my head that we’d meet with him and everything would be fine and we would be together – and just go back to being a family...” Her voice trailed off as she considered what she said. “We can’t ever just go back to those days before ... before it all went to hell, can we?”

Her mother shook her head. “We have those memories, but there was too much hurt and anger as we grew apart. Your father destroyed us as a family with his games and abuse and I drank myself into oblivion while I sat back and let it happen. Toward the end, we weren’t a family. We were four people, five if you count Erica, who were miserable, plus the puppet master who tried to control us all.”

“I think you should include dad as one of the ‘miserable.’”

“Perhaps.” Pamela thought about her daughter’s words for a few seconds. “I was just trying to remember the last time we were all happy as a family. I do remember when your father and I were dating he was funny and caring and we had a wide circle of friends. I was convinced he would make a wonderful father and husband, and for a while that was true. Somewhere along the line it became all about the money. We didn’t need more money but to your father it became a game he always had to win. Then he applied that pathology to his family.” Pamela shook her head. “You’re right, he was as miserable as the rest of us, maybe more so.”

Cassandra handed her mother a tissue. “The night James left, even as upset as I was, I could see that Dad was devastated. He tried to cover it with bravado, but for once he looked defeated. He didn’t know what to do. Then you left and divorced him and I sided with you. Now he’s lost his family, except for Cameron, and someday soon Cameron’s going to wake up and discover that Dad is nothing but a bully and a fraud.”

“Do you really think Cameron will leave Tom?”

“Yes, I think so. Cameron thought he wanted to be Dad, and he was also terribly jealous of James so he made some poor decisions, but underneath it all he’s still a gentle soul who wants to build robots and rockets.”

“Cassandra, I do hope you’re right. I think about him every day. I just want my sons back in my life.” Cassandra hugged her. “I want my brothers back.”

Pamela turned back toward the window and stared into the distance. “When James left he broke my heart. He was so disappointed in me I could hardly bear it. He was right; I had turned into a spineless worthless drunk. I wasn’t so drunk that evening that I didn’t understand the truth of it. His words haunted me for a long time. I was angry, but it wasn’t directed toward James, but at myself. Just think about where we’d be if he hadn’t left.”

Pamela paused, to wipe a tear, and said softly, “I wonder if I’d still be alive.”

Cassandra hugged her mother again as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Pamela stepped back, but still held Cassandra’s arms. “We’ve changed, James has changed. Our lives have changed. His home is here now.”

Cassandra shook her head. “We’re all so different now. What if he doesn’t love us any longer? When he left home he was angry.” She thought for a moment. “He hurt me terribly too. He wouldn’t look at me that night and he didn’t even bother to tell me how disappointed he was in me, but I could see it. It was as if I was beneath his notice. He was always my idea of the perfect man and I just wanted him to notice me, but I forgot how to do that, forgot and became a narcissistic bitch. I sure screwed things up.”

She hung her head. “What if after everything that’s happened to him he doesn’t want us? He looked and sounded so hard in the video. He’s changed so much...”

Suddenly Cassandra stiffened. “What if, when he gets here, we don’t like him? What if he’s that man in the video?”

Pamela put her arms around her daughter. “We have to accept that some part of him is that man in the video because war made him hard, but we know he’s still our James. We know from Lieutenant Paulson that he’s the kind of man who would give his life for others and that he cares deeply about the people he serves with.”

Cassandra nodded and wiped her eyes. “And Sarah and Emily told us how people here look up to him and what he did for Mr. Bailey.”

They heard a car drive up. Hand in hand they walked to the window.

Pamela squeezed her daughter’s hand as they watched James and Sarah walk through the arbor that separated the garden from the street, and start up the flagstone walkway.

“He’s so thin,” Cassandra whispered almost to herself.

They watched the couple in the fading light of the rainy afternoon. Sarah was pressed close to him, arms wrapped around his arm as he tried to shield them with a much too small umbrella. He was wearing a blue polo shirt and jeans and she had a vintage leather bomber jacket draped over her shoulders. James smiled and said something to her. She laughed and just for a second put her head against his shoulder.

“Oh.”

Cassandra glanced at her mother. “Yes, ‘oh.’ They look pretty happy. Didn’t see that coming. Guess Erica’s out of luck.”

Pamela smiled back. “Yes, she is, but we already know she has a different future planned.” She considered the couple in the rain. “I think we caught a glimpse of how Sarah felt this morning at the hospital. She did try to hide it under her professional facade, but there was something there that hinted, at least on her part, she was interested in something more than a doctor patient relationship.”

Cassandra thought about their meeting. “Yes, I can see that now. And I can see why she was so quick to volunteer to go see James.”

They were silent for a few moments as they watched the couple approach. Finally, Pamela said, “Might be nice to have a doctor in the family.”

“Now who’s getting ahead of herself?”

“Maybe not. James looks at her like Noah looks at you.”

Cassandra bit back a smart remark and nodded. “And she looks at him just like you look at Dillon.”

“Yes.” Pamela squeezed her daughter’s hand.

Pamela opened the door. There was no hesitation as James stepped through and wrapped his arms around his mother. Neither said anything as she sobbed against his chest. Cassandra nodded to Sarah as they both fought tears.

The four and a half years since he had walked out of their lives had seemed an eternity. Those worry-filled and uncertain years seemed to evaporate the moment Pamela felt her son’s arms around her. She held him with all her strength, fearing if she let up even a little he’d slip away as he had in so many of her dreams.

It was several minutes before Pamela could compose herself enough to release him and let him greet Cassandra. There was no hesitancy as he moved to her and almost tenderly took her in his arms. Cassandra thought she could hold it together, but she was mistaken. Before they moved much farther into the parlor James’ shirt was damp with tears.

At that point Sarah announced that it was best that she leave them to their reunion. Pamela watched James walk her out to his truck. He had his arm around her waist as he held her close. The rain had stopped.

Neither Sarah nor James said anything until they reached the truck. “You won’t change your mind?”

She turned and touched his face. “This time is for your mother and sister.”

He nodded and put his arms around her waist. “Yes, but all of a sudden I feel like I haven’t had enough time with you.”

Damn, when he says things like that and looks at me that way I just want to grab hold and never let go.

“Call me tomorrow after work.” Damn, damn, he just got that happy puppy look that I can’t resist. “Cassandra has my cell number.”

“Maybe dinner?”

She smiled. A date? He just asked me out! “I think you’d better discuss dinner plans with your mother and Cassandra first. I get the feeling they plan to monopolize your time for the foreseeable future.”

He looked at her for a few seconds and smiled. “I’m pretty sure they don’t intend to exclude you. In fact I think you’d be welcome.” Sarah started to protest. “Sarah, I know tomorrow is a work night so maybe we can just get together for something casual. You could invite your mother and bring Amelia and we could all have pizza at Bruno’s.”

So much for the idea of a date.

It was her turn to smile. “Okay, but call with the details. Amelia loves that place.”

“Great.” Then he looked concerned. “Oh.”

Oh?