Chapter 5

We had all finished our chores, Mom and Sue had the meal on the table by the time Dad arrived, and as promised brought a quart of ice cream, which he promptly wrapped in a feather pillow to keep it from melting. By the time he had washed up we were at the table waiting.

“So, who’s up for the prayer?” Father asked as he sat there waiting.

“How about you David?” Mom asked.

Dad cleared his voice, and started, “Father up there, we want to thank you for allowing us to have this monumental stack of vitals. Amen.”

“And God bless this family and William, Otis and the Cat,” Mom added. “Amen.” We all added.

“Who the Hell is this William and Otis?” Dad asked reaching for the potatoes. “And when did we get a cat?”

“Oh, you remember Willie, and Kitty.” Mom said with a big grin.

“Oh, we’re blessing those two, are we?”

“Why not?” Mom said with a giggle.

“And this Otis fella?” Dad asked as he took an ear of corn. “We’re blessing him too?”

“Yes.” Mom said.

“I’m afraid to ask, but who might he be?”

“A very close friend of your boy.”

“Oh, naming him are we. Has he attained the status of a name?”

“Yes, evidently Sue held a christening last night.” Mom said drinking some of her tea.

“Oh, and did she break a Champaign bottle over it?”

“I’m not quite sure what the christening ceremony entailed, but after I found out we had quite a family discussion about, naming significant parts of our bodies, and I introduced them to Kitty, and we mentioned William.”

“My, every time I come home, there is some revelation,” he said cutting his meat. “did this all happen around a camp fire?”

“No, here in the kitchen, and we had a discussion and exhibition regarding the capacity of Kitty.”

“Capacity, you mean quarts and gallons?” Dad asked with a grin on his face as he took his bite.

“No, more like fingers and fists.” Mom said, as Dad coughed and gagged spitting out a hunk of steak.

“You know my dear,” Dad said clearing his throat. “I do hereby request that any revelation regarding the day’s events be timed to avoid me taking a bite, or a drink. Now, was that all that occurred or can I resume my meal?”

“We did discuss how we met, and about the question you submitted to the circuit teacher.”

“My question? The one that ended up with you at my doorstep?”

“Yes, and the trip up there, and about the conception. Pretty much everything.” Mom said as she poured gravy over her potatoes.

“Well, then they don’t believe that we met in Sunday School like we always said?”

“No dear, we decided to tell the truth from now on. Just like you have demanded of the children.”

“Okay, then I have some new rules,” Dad said, laying down his knife and fork.

“And what would that be, my darling husband?”

“Children.”

“Yes Father,” we d in unison.

“From this Moment on, I don’t want any of you to ask me any questions about anything beyond how much grain to throw to the chickens. Every remaining question will be directed to your mother. That way my dear,” he said picking up his knife and fork. “I will not tell a lie.”

We all broke out laughing including my father as he continued his meal.

“Now, this Otis fella,” Dad said. “Where in the world did that name come from? I don’t know of any Otis in this family.”

“It’s the Stewart’s dog,” I said. “Sue and Momma fucked him.”

Dad laid down his fork and knife again. “I don’t think I should eat anything anymore. It’s too dangerous I could choke to death on this conversation. You fucked the neighbor’s dog?”

“Yes Daddy. But only once.”

“Humm, only once. There once was a man that complained that even though he only ate one leg, they still called him a cannibal. And you?” He said looking at Mom.