Chapter 2: Home Cumming

As it turned out Mom and Dad were less than enamored with Lacy. Dis-regarding her appearance, and her social skills were abhorrent. No one had ever taught Lacy but the most basic of manors and her table etiquette was deplorable. It hadn’t been too much a problem for me when Lacy and I were living alone and I could suggest she close her mouth when chewing or not nor belch when others were present.

These indiscretions were not appreciated by my family and Lacy was ashamed of herself and her lack of social skills. She spent most of the first week locked in my room crying. Not having our own place to live made things that much worse.

Even though we had been living together in Indiana for more than two years, mom would not let us sleep in the same room. She would not allow, in her words, “shacking-up under her roof” and the fact that we were engaged did not carry weight with her.

On the fourth day back home someone had told Eddie I was back in town and he called to “welcome me home and buy me lunch”. Lacy would not go having imprisoned herself in my room and was receiving no visitors. I accepted Eddie’s invitation and agreed to meet him at the Country Kitchen on State Road 41.

Eddie was already seated in a booth when I arrived and got up to shake my hand nearly crushing it just like the old days.

Eddie slapped me on the back hard enough to buckle my knees, the sound of his hand striking I’m sure could be heard outside in the parking lot, because all eyes in the restaurant turned in unison to see if the big guy was going to beat the shit out of the little guy.

“You’re a sight for sore eyes BB. See you lost some hair.” Eddie bellowed.

I was thinning on top, male pattern baldness was a family trait and even as young as twenty six I already had an infertile spot on the top of my cranium.

“Yeah, runs in the family, but you haven’t changed a bit.” I lied. Eddie had gained another forty or fifty pounds and had a beer gut that was threatening to devour his belt. Still he looked as if he could bend a steel bar with his bare hands. “How is your dad?”

Eddie’s mom had run off with the only animal control officer in Hamilton County when we were sophomores in high school. Eddie never heard from her except once the first year she sent him a Christmas card from somewhere in Nevada. After that he never wanted her mentioned. Once, Chucky Sumar, one of the six, said something about her and Eddie lifted him off the ground by his shirt and screamed into his face.

“Look Sucky chew-more, I told you never to mention my mom EVER! You got that!”

Chuck apologized profusely and almost cried before Eddie let his feet return to the ground.”

From that that day forward Chuck’s nick name was Sucky.

Hamilton County had a hell of a time finding another Dog catcher that would do an adequate job. Most turned out to be drug addicts or drunks.

Which brings me back to my question to Eddie, “how’s your dad.”

“Dead.” Eddie said deadpan.

“Really! I hadn’t heard. I’m sorry to hear that. What happened?” My parents never liked Eddie and I could see them not telling me of something of this magnitude.

“During your first year at Purdue he got drunk and fell asleep in a junked out car and when Bobo Johnson dropped the car in the crusher, wel let’s just sat he didn’t have any other pressing engagements to go to.

No one missed him because we all thought he had left to go find my mom until the car started stinking and I found his arm with the USMC tattoo dangling out of the back window.

We just buried the whole thing, car and all. After the cops determined it was an accident we were allowed to use the crushed again, only now we have to look into any car we put in the crusher including the trunk.

“Wow Eddie. That’s rough, I’m sorry man.”

“Thanks BB. Hey look BB, I might need your help.”

“My help? With what?”

“Well you know I never been good with numbers and the yard is goin to hell since dad ain’t doin the books any more. I thought you could help me with them before I lose the whole place.”

Oh crap. I thought. I knew Eddie. It would be just like his homework I would be doing it all. I would end up running Eddie’s business and whatever job I had too. I hesitated. “I don’t know Eddie. I got a lot of problems of my own right now. I don’t think I will have time anytime to look at your books.” I half whined.

“What the fuck you mean BB. Now you’re a big shot college graduate you ain’t got time for your friends. Huh BB. Is that what you’re telling me?”

Again most of the people in the restaurant turned to look at us.

“No, it’s not like that Eddie. I would love to help you out, just not right now. I am engaged to be married. I’m going crazy living at home and my parents are driving me nuts. I need to find a place that I can afford to live.

“Well shit. Problem solved. When Dad died I got everything. The bastard actually had a will and I was sole been-fishin-re. You and your girl can live with me in dad’s big old house. I ben kinda lonely in that old place anyway. Corse you will have to pay rent when you get on your feet.”

I wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. Yes Things were shit at home and Lacy would just about kill to get out of there and it would make access to Eddies books easier. “I don’t know Eddie. I appre.”

“OK done then.” Bring your girl and clothes over. I got beds and everything you need. Thanks man I really need your help Bennie. I’m serious as a heart attack. I will lose the business and the house. You gotta fix it for me buddy.”

It had been years since Eddie last called me Bennie, or referred to me as his buddy. I guess things were serious, but I had to be on guard not let some of other things he had demanded of me in the past continue in the present. We were past all that now. That was ‘kid’s stuff’ were adults now and that time is gone.

“Well ok. Is tonight too soon? I asked.

“No, Tonight’s great by the way Romeo is supposed to come over from Jacksonville tonight and stay the weekend. His salon in Jacksonville is raking in the bucks. He is a regular Vidal Sassoon over there. He does all the rich bitches that live on the beach and he does more than just their hair, if you know what I mean.” And he reached over and punched me in the arm.

I did know what he meant. Romeo was the nickname Eddie gave to Clyde Wendell, another one of the six. Eddie made sure all of his acquaintances had nicknames. Clyde was very good looking. Blond hair and eyes as blue as the summer sky. He had a round boyish face and a Tom cruise smile that melted the ladies back in high school and it wasn’t just the girl students he was bedding. He was involved with a couple of hot young teachers and several of the more attractive wives in Jasper.

I remember when Clyde / Romeo first decided to become a hair stylists. It was about three months before graduation the six were hanging at Eddie’s house late, just killing time when the discussion of “what are we going to do after we graduate” came up. I knew where I was going and all the guys knew as well. We also knew where Sucky chew-more was going too. Romeo was our number two man after Eddie

Chucky was the artist in our group. If he wasn’t eating, defecating or sleeping he was painting, sculpting, writing or engrossed in some artistic endeavor. And he was good so good he got a scholarship to Ringling College of art in Sarasota Florida. In the pecking order Sucky was just above me and I was at the bottom.

Markus Williams who Eddie dubbed “ACE” because he caught him cheating at poker with an ace up his sleeve. Had decided to go to trade school and had already applied at the Tulsa Welding School in Jacksonville. Ace was the three in our group of six and Jesus Garcia was number four.

Jesus in Spanish is pronounced (hay soos) but Eddie’s nickname for him was Jesus (gee zuss). Jesus’s dad owned a cabinet shop and he loved working with wood even more than his father. Before he was out of high school he was practically a master woodworker. I went to their shop after school many times and would marvel at the superior craftsman ship and innovation that Jesus produced.

Romeo was the only one of the six that didn’t know what he was going to do or where he would do it. As I had said it was late and the TV was on tuned to TNB which played a bunch of old movies. There was this guy named Warren Baby or Beady or something like that that played a hair dresser and was having sex with all of his beautiful clients. That was when Romeo decided he was going to be a famous cosmetologist.