Chapter 1

If there’s one sound I hate in all the spectrum of things that I’ve heard, it’s the beeping of a heart monitor. It’s not that they make the sound particularly grating, but it means that I’m back in a hospital. In general, THAT means I’ve done something stupid. Today was no exception. What I’d done was brave, and had probably saved some lives, but overall, it had been stupid. I should have run with the rest of them.

I wasn’t in any pain and that seemed like it was an improvement on most of my hospital experience. I looked around as much as I could and spotted what I was looking for. Hello, Morphine, my old friend. I was worried you wouldn’t come visit me this go-round. That seemed funny to me. I suspect that was Morphine’s fault. Someone must have sneezed when they were adjusting my dosage.

I looked around and thought this was a weird hospital. I had a window in my room, but it only showed another hospital ... or another part of this one. That thought tickled something, but the connection refused to click. That seemed abnormal to me. I was usually much more clicky than this. Was that a word? I’d have to check. Maybe I invented it. Was there a prize for that? I’d have to check. In thirty years, school children could be forced to learn the correct use and spelling of ‘clicky’ and they’d have me to thank. I felt particularly proud of the foundation I’d laid for entire generations of clicky people to feel like they finally had a word that did them justice.

I suddenly felt confused and looked around. Ah, Morphine. That explained it. The IV pump with the lock box to regulate how much happy I was allowed at a time was there to remind me that my brain got slower as the drip got faster. It was comforting to see it in a way. If I felt this good and there was no Morphine, then it probably meant I couldn’t be trusted with shoelaces or pencils for a while. If there was Morphine that meant I’d earned my trip here.

Where was here again? I looked around and saw the glass. I remembered seeing Jurassic Park once and this kind of reminded me of the ride they took where they looked into the labs. This one didn’t seem as interesting as that. There were some nurses. Not that nurses weren’t interesting, but they didn’t seem to be DOING much of interest. It wasn’t like they were THOSE kinds of nurses. Vaguely I started to wonder what nurses were doing on this ride. I looked around for some way to tell the ride operator that I wanted the tour to move along. “When do we see the dinosaurs?” I wondered out loud. Unfortunately there was no one around to answer me. I looked around again. Oh! Hello, Morphine. Have you been here this whole time? FABULOUS! Shall we go on adventure?

I closed my eyes and had an amazing time with sexy nurses, a heart monitor named George, my side-kick, Morphine and a roadster made entirely from refrigerators. At some point, I think we went over a waterfall in a men’s room, but that was silly. We could have just flushed the toilets.

When I opened my eyes again, there was someone messing around with Morphine. I didn’t know what they were doing, but Morphine didn’t seem to mind, so I let it ride. If Morphine was okay with this creep getting fresh, I wasn’t gonna grenade the party. I tried to pretend like I was asleep, but then I blinked my eyes and the creep was gone. Morphine was acting weird too, like nothing had happened, but I saw what I saw. Whatever. It wasn’t like I was gonna get in the middle of it.

I was bored. They could have at least given me a Slinky. Morphine wasn’t as much fun since Creep either. I wondered if I should bring it up or just wait and see if he did. George was only too happy to talk to me. I wished he’d shut the fuck up. Go get me some fucking toast if you wanna be my pal! Morphine ain’t gonna do it. Just standing there like an idiot, waitin’ for Creep to come on back and give out some cheap feels. Fuckin’ slut. Yeah, I’m talking about you! Me and George were talking. You fuck off and get your goodies out for Creep.

I settled down into a surly silence while George beeped happily for us to get along. I wished he’d shut the fuck up. I decided to take a nap and ignore the two of them.

When I woke up this time, I had a most disconcerting realization. There were ... PEOPLE out there. I wondered if this was some sort of zoo. The window ... the people ... The nurses could have been vets, I supposed. Was I still me or was I some sort of animal on display? Or was this some museum in the future. Was I on display as 21st century man? Was that it? I looked down at my arms and they were still arms. There were hands at the end of them. I presumed them to be mine. They would have been an odd addition to the exhibit if they weren’t.

I peered more closely at the people and they seemed excited to see me. I raised a hand tentatively and waggled the fingers on it. Yep. They were definitely mine. They appeared to be attached to a lot of the wires and tubes around me. Maybe I was frozen in ice until they thawed me out. That story sounded familiar. I’d read it somewhere when I was young. I remembered ... a badge? It was round and had a star. I frowned. Not a badge. A ... shield. I flinched. I didn’t want to think about that.

George was trying to tell me something, beeping faster. I looked at him and I couldn’t breathe. I tried to say something, but it was just a croak. I hurt. My chest wasn’t working right. George was screaming now faster and faster and then there was one long scream from him. I heard a hiss and the door was sliding open to let Creep into the room. She wasn’t alone this time and they seemed agitated about something, but I couldn’t think. Everything spun out of control and got dark again.

I was doing so well too.

“CLEAR!”

This time when I woke, I didn’t think about anything. Morphine was moving on with Creep. He was gonna ditch me. I guess that was okay. I mean it wasn’t like we were like THAT or anything, but I seriously hoped he’d take George with him. Miserable fucker ratted me out to Creep. I was gonna get him for that.

The zoo people were still there, but they didn’t look quite so thrilled this time. I guess the exhibit needed something to keep them coming back. Maybe a couple of things from the 21st century. The boy out of time was only so entertaining if you didn’t see him in his natural environment. I’d have to talk to someone about sprucing up the cage. I wasn’t talking to Creep though. Fuck that bitch and Morphine too.

I was gonna get in my roadster and hit the open road. Wasn’t taking Creep, wasn’t taking Morphine and I definitely wasn’t taking George. Rat ME out to Creep, will ya? Ha!

I went back to sleep for a while. Planning out my escape was exhausting.

When I woke this time, I was a little clearer. The previous observations seemed hilarious to me, but that might still have been the drugs. I could tell I was looking at a nurse’s station this time and I sighed with relief. I looked at the glass and I could recognize people this time. I waved a little and smiled, seeing Emma and Lana there watching me. I wondered how long I’d been out. I looked at the area around my hands and found the call button. I pushed it and waited.

When the nurse came to see me, I realized I might be worse off than I thought since she was dressed for surgery.

“Hi,” I croaked. “Are you allowed to tell me what’s going on, or do I need to talk to the doctor?” I asked. My voice was appalling to hear.

“Dr. Spencer and Dr. Forester are on their way up. We had them paged once you called for someone,” she told me.

This got worse and worse. “Samantha? She’s working on my case?” I looked down and started trying to pluck at the blanket to see what condition I was really in.

“Calm down, Mr. Russell. They’ll be here shortly to explain everything,” she tried to tuck the blanket back in which agitated me even more.

“Lady, Dr. Spencer REALLY didn’t warn you about me, did she?” I yanked the blanked back and looked down at myself, not able to make sense of what I was seeing. I’d never seen a wound packed open before. My hand fell back to my side numbly staring at the open wounds, the drains packed with gauze and tape, the bloody trickle slowly leaking from them and went into shock.

“I don’t think I should have seen that,” I said, my voice faint.

“It’s okay,” she said sympathetically. “Dr. Forester will explain. For now, just trust me, you’ll be as good as new before you know it.”

“Only if you turn the morphine back up,” I told her, still disturbed.

She chuckled at that and told me that she didn’t think I needed it if I wasn’t feeling any pain. She left and I was left with my own worried thoughts. I looked back at Lana and Emma and I could tell that they’d gotten a good look at what my blanket was hiding. I didn’t like the look on their faces.

I suddenly hoped that none of them were serious the times they’d teased me about leaving if something happened to my looks. Just the anxiety I needed.

A few minutes later, Victoria and Samantha entered the room, dressed in similar cap and gown outfits and masks. I was breathing very slowly, trying to control the terror running rampant through my skull.

“Feeling a little more lucid?” Dr. Spencer asked, coming to sit down.

“No!” I blurted out. “Why am I gutted like a fish?!!? What kind of surreal nightmare is this?!!?”

“Relax, Matt,” Samantha said sharply.

“I’m trying!” I said, on the edge of panic. “I just pulled back the blanket to look at something like out of a horror film. I’m a little out of my mind right now.”

“We packed your wounds and left them open in case we had to go back in. You were in bad shape when they brought you in. There’s a huge risk of post-op infection, so we keep the wounds open and sterile in case we need to do more surgery to chase down infection.”

I nodded, understanding, but still felt freaked out. “So how bad is it?”

They exchanged a look and that worried me. “It’s a good thing we kept you open. There was some infection we had to clean up. We also had an orthopedic surgeon come in to fix your shoulder at the same time since I was working on your belly. We had to do a bowel resection to clean things up. It was only a few inches. You won’t even know it’s gone, but the tissue was infected.”

I nodded. “So what happened? My memory is a little hazy from that night. How bad is everything?”

Victoria took over. “Vance shot you in the shoulder and the back while you were standing in your kitchen. The video showed all the rest of the injuries. Your left thigh, your left side, your abdomen and you caught a graze to your head. There was a sucking chest wound, some damage to the lung, but Samantha did an exceptional job saving the whole lung. Quite often a piece is removed when the injuries are that critical. You had some damage to your stomach, but that’s healing nicely and you should be on solid food before you become too whiny about wanting a steak. I’ve already spoken to Patty about your diet when your stomach can handle food, so you won’t be getting that steak any time soon.”

She smiled when she said it. I couldn’t see with the mask on, but I could tell from the way her cheeks moved behind it. “You’ve got extensive muscle damage both from the bullets and the surgery. Samantha minimized that as much as she could, but she was fighting the clock to get you stable before it was too late. Your shoulder is where you’re really going to be disappointed. You’re looking at months of rehab to get full use of it again. We repaired the injury as well as we could. Carl called in a favor to get you the best specialist he could find to do the surgery.”

I nodded. “Okay,” I said softly. It was a lot to process. “Who else got hurt?”

“Not a soul,” Dr. Spencer said sincerely.

“You mean Vance gunned me down and walked away? Come on! What happened?”

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” she asked. I nodded and she took out her phone. It was in a plastic baggie to seal it from infecting me or the room. She loaded up the video for me and played it all the way through until I threw the shield. She paused it and I looked at her. “The next part is graphic,” she warned me. I just nodded and she let the rest of it play. My eyes widened as I watched myself pick up a severed head. I was about to ask if it was real when I turned to get my phone and I looked right into Vance’s slack face for a split second.

“Thank God!” I sighed, relaxing.

“Not the reaction I’d expected from you, given your history. Care to explain?”

“If he got up from that fight, I don’t even want to think of what he’d have done to the girls. That was my biggest worry. As far as I’m concerned, I just stepped on a cockroach. No remorse. He was gonna kill me and step over my dead body to rape my girls. I only wish it had hurt him more.”

“You decapitated a man with a blunt object,” she said dryly. “I doubt it was pleasant for him.”

I nodded. “How long before I can have visitors?” I asked, glancing at the glass.

“Tomorrow, I think,” Samantha said. “We’re taking you in for another surgery in about an hour and that’s going to be to seal the wounds except for the abdomen. That one we leave open for a while. It’s where most infection is likely to occur. After surgery, you’ll be out for a while. It’s late in the day anyway.”

“I should have just let you play with the strap-on,” I told her dryly. “I think this method of having you inside me is going to leave me far more sore and scarred.”

She chuckled. “Well, if you’re feeling well enough to flirt with me, then that’s a good sign. I promise, the next time you pull back the blankets, you won’t look like an Operation game.”

“What about scarring though?” I asked with some genuine worry. “Really?”

“Worried about how you look with your shirt off?” she asked.

“Frankly, yes. I have some of the most beautiful girls imaginable waiting for me. I don’t want ... I mean, I looked down and wanted to scream in horror.”

“You’re worried they’ll see you as less attractive because of the scars?” Victoria asked.

I shrugged, but then nodded. “Maybe that seems shallow, but I already feel like...” I couldn’t say it out loud.

“Like your relationships are all on borrowed time?” she finished and I nodded.

“It happens too much for me not to worry about it.”

“I know. I’d think you were suppressing if you hadn’t considered it. I’d give it some time before I worried about it though.”

“We’re gonna leave you alone for a while, but we’ll turn on the intercom so they can talk to you from outside. We’ve had it shut off while you were incoherent.”

I nodded and they left with a hiss of the door.

A few minutes later, there was a crackle from the speaker by the window.

“Matt?” Emma said softly. “Can you hear me?”

I smiled at her and nodded. “I can. How is everyone?”

“We’re all doing fine,” she said. “We’re way better now that you’re feeling better. Your fever was pretty bad yesterday.”

“What day is it?” I asked.

“Saturday.”

“Aw crap!” I said weakly. “I had class this morning and visit with Mom, this afternoon! Did someone tell her?!!?”

“Calm down,” she said soothingly. “Everything is fine. We went and saw your Sifu this morning. He already knew. It was on the news. Lana and I talked to your mother yesterday. She’s concerned, like the rest of us, but we’re keeping her updated.”

I nodded. “What did they say on the news?” I asked, reluctantly.

“That you’re a hero,” she told me with a smile. “We posted your video online. It’s gone NUTS. Everyone’s seen it. I mean EVERYONE. I got my mom to send it to everyone she knows in Hollywood. I checked your PayPal balance. I’m not even telling you. It’s a surprise for when you get home.”

I smiled again and chuckled a little. “How are the girls?” I asked.

“Are you kidding? They’re ecstatic! They’re all waiting until the 12th to give you a thank you that may put you back in here.”

“I doubt I’m gonna be in any shape for that any time soon,” I confessed. “Lana remembers how long Dr. Spencer took to clear me from a small incision. I’ll be lucky to be able to unwrap presents at Christmas, let alone girls.”

They both smiled at that, but all three of us were thinking about what was underneath the blankets.

“How are you two doing?” I asked. I was running out of things to distract the three of us.

“We’re coping, like all the other girls,” Lana said lightly. “It’s been pretty scary the past three days.”

I nodded. “I can imagine. I just saw the video for the first time. I don’t really remember that night. Don’t know if I’ll get it back or if it went in the same box as the last night I ended up here. That’s still missing in action too.”

“Just get better,” Lana said sympathetically. “We’ll worry about that night once you’re out of danger.”

I nodded. “How’s Lilly holding up?”

“She’s been staying with your father since that night,” Emma said and I sat up, grimacing as I became suddenly aware of my limitations.

“You mean you’re staying at the house alone?!!?” I asked, stricken.

“No!” she said quickly. “Lana and Becky and Tabby and Collie have been there all weekend. Calm down and lay back,” she urged me in soothing tones. “They’re making sure everything’s okay. Just relax. Everything’s fine. We’re all taking care of the house and each other.”

I nodded and calmed down some at that. “I kind of worry about you. There’s still one Waterman out there and I’m not convinced he’s gonna be any different than Vance was.”

“Worry about that later,” she advised.

“Get together with Dad and have a security system installed,” I said. “Flood-lights, door and window alarms, the works. There should be plenty of cash in my desk for that.”

“We already talked about it. We know you’re going to be laid up for months. I’m going to get a firearms license next week. We’ll have a shotgun in the house in case there’s another incident. Mr. Forbes promised to get the license pushed through as quickly as possible. It can take months normally, but with the special circumstances, he said that he’d see to it personally so we don’t get lost in paperwork.”

I nodded. “Okay. That makes me feel a little better. I still think we should get a security system, just in case.”

“We’ll get it handled,” she assured me and decided to change the subject. “So everyone’s looking to see you, but they only allow two people in at a time,” she told me.

“We should let everyone have a turn then,” I said. “I just want to put my arms around you, but I guess I’m held together by tape and wishful thinking at the moment, so the glass is probably for my safety right now. Just a few minutes each though. I go back to surgery soon.”

She nodded and they both blew me kisses before they left. Gina and Tricia came to the window next and asked how I was doing.

“I feel better than Vance, so I’m told,” I admitted with as much of a shrug as I could. “How’re you both handling everything?”

“Seriously?” Gina asked. “You’re in pieces and you’re asking about us?”

“It’s ... kind of worse than you know. I think Lana and Emma were horrified. I pulled back the blanket to see. It’s not pretty.”

“Show us,” Tricia said, her voice full of concern, but also certainty.

“I’d rather not. I go for surgery in a little while to close up some of the wounds. They’re open right now.”

“If you’re going through it, we need to see it,” she said firmly. I knew this tone.

“I don’t want you to ... I’m not gonna ... I won’t look the same...” I knew the morphine was keeping my thoughts jumbled and I resisted the urge to jab myself in the incision to clear my head.

“You don’t want us to see because you’re worried about how we’ll look at you after?” Gina asked and I nodded a little. “We’ll look at you like a hero,” she assured me. “Every one of those wounds is there because you stood between us and Vance Waterman. Just show us so we can deal with it together.”

I hesitated, but I finally showed them. I couldn’t look again, but I heard them gasp. “Oh my God, Matt! Does it hurt?” Tricia asked, stricken.

I rearranged the blanket and shook my head. I couldn’t look at them and put my head down, staring at my feet. “I’m not in any pain right now,” I said softly.

“Matt,” Gina said firmly. “Look at us.” I looked up and their faces were full of concern. Maybe that’s what I saw on Lana and Emma’s faces. I was in shock so I wasn’t really paying attention. “Neither of us care about the wounds. No one else will either. Anyone that does is gonna get scarred up themselves. We love you. We’re gonna go and let some other people see you, but we’ll all be back.”

I nodded and told them I loved them too. I saw Collie and Tabby next, Hanna and Beck, Dan and Patty, Dad and Lilly, Cheryl and her mother. I talked to parents of the girls and the girls themselves. Not everyone was there at this point of the day, but I had promises that they’d all be by to see me eventually.

Lana and Emma were back and had told me I’d said hello to everyone there by the time they came to take me for surgery. Samantha met me in the pre-op ward where I was being sedated.

“Could you have the Russell Suite prepared for my arrival?” I asked, sleepily. “Hot and cold running nurses and silk sheets this time. The cotton is so scratchy. A larger bed would be appreciated. The last one was only zoned for one occupant. Terrible way to spend a vacation.”

“I’ll see what we can arrange for you, Your Highness,” she said dryly. “For now, just count down from 100 for me.”

“One hundred nurses,” I started, obediently with an insolent grin. “Ninety-nine nurses. Ninety-eight nur ... nursss...”

I opened my eyes and wondered what time it was. I looked around and didn’t see anyone at the glass. “Must be night,” I mused and thought about trying to go back to sleep. I was restless though. I felt like that condition was going to end terribly for me. Boredom and fragility were a poor combination.

I pulled back the sheet and looked down. Some of the incisions were covered with bandages, but the abdominal wound was still packed open. It looked terrible and I was still disturbed by the sight of it. I sighed with some relief and covered the mess again before hitting the call button.

It was a few minutes before a nurse came in and I asked her how the surgery had gone.

“From what I read in your chart, there were no complications. You’re going to be moved later today now that there’s less chance of infection and you’ll be allowed to have visitors.”

That was going to be something to look forward to, at least.

“Do they know when I’ll be back on solid food?”

“It’ll be a little while,” she said evasively. “You’ll be on a modified diet when you do get to eat. It’ll be much smaller meals more often.”

“Next question is, what time is it?” I asked.

“It’s shortly after 7AM. Dr. Forester should be in to see you soon. As soon as she’s satisfied with the results of your surgery, we’ll be able to move you to your new room and you can have visitors.”

“Sounds good. Thanks.”

“Anything we can get for you?” she asked.

“I’d love to have my computer, but I’ll have to wait for that. Will I be able to use electronics in my room once I’m moved?”

“You should be fine, but you’ll have to discuss it with the doctor and the nurses in your new home.”

“Okay. Hopefully I’ll have something to do later today. Thanks.”

She patted my good shoulder and left me to my own devices for a little while. I was going through my memory of Wednesday trying to dredge up a memory of my own from that night. I knew from previous experience that the memories weren’t likely to come back this way, but I tried to piece together what I could of that night. I WANTED those memories back.

I was interrupted by Samantha coming to check on me. I smiled at her and we chatted a bit as she checked things over.

“I did what I could to minimize the scarring,” she assured me. “Most people won’t care about the scars. Put some faith in your girls. They’ve been like a force of nature keeping everyone together.”

I nodded. “They said they’d get through it with me for the most part.”

“For the most part?” she asked, surprised.

“I didn’t exactly bring it up with everyone. I’m trying not to think about it all that much.”

“For now, that’s not so bad. How’re you feeling other than anxiety over scarring?”

“I dunno,” I admitted. “The morphine’s keeping the pain at bay. I’m still not comfortable with the abdominal wound. How long is that gonna be open?”

“A couple of weeks,” she told me gently. “Abdominal wounds tend to cause infection. All the stomach acid and the sludge from your bowel got into your abdominal cavity. It’s like painting your insides with the worst poison possible. Your digestive system is usually sealed to prevent that from happening, but bullets don’t generally respect ‘do not enter’ signs.”

I nodded. “So you keep it open in case I develop worse symptoms and need to be hosed out with peroxide to kill the infection.”

“Not precisely what we do, but we’ll keep a close eye on you. I think you can look forward to staying with us for at least a week and probably two while we treat you for infections. Your fever is under control, but you’re still in guarded condition. I’ll be in to see you every day and so will Victoria. We’ll get you back on your feet.”

“I’m worried about my arm right now,” I told her. “When can I start work on it?”

“I’ll send over the physiotherapist to start with a consultation later today. Don’t push it though.”

“I won’t. Hanna might want to take over that part of my recovery. That’s her career path. She didn’t want to work with a lot of trauma victims, but I’m hoping she makes an exception for me.”

“I’m sure she will,” she said comfortingly. “I’ll clear you to be moved to a new room and you’ll be able to have some visitors.”

“More than last time?” I asked hopefully.

“Three at a time and no one in bed with you,” she said sternly.

“Not even you?” I asked teasingly.

“You’ve got a lot of work before you’re up to that kind of therapy,” she said sharply and slapped my good shoulder. “Behave or I’ll swat you on the other one.”

I chuckled a little. “Clear me for four people at once? They never bug me and last time I was in, it was like playing musical chairs even when they let me sneak a third person in. You have my word that I’ll let Emma clear them all out if I start getting tired or overwhelmed.”

She thought about it for a long moment and then nodded. “I’ll be speaking to your girls to let them know to keep things calm and relaxing.”

“And I’ll make sure to have Victoria talk to them about things that are likely to irritate me rather than relax me,” I promised. “Will I be able to have my phone and laptop in the new room?”

“Yeah. You’re off the ventilator and the heart monitor won’t be interrupted by either of those.”

“That’s a relief,” I said with a sigh. “I was worried I was gonna be bored out of my mind. There are only so many books I can read. I guess with my arm like this, it’ll be hard to hold the bigger ones.”

“You should have a tablet for reading e-books,” she said lightly.

“I have one, but it’s home too.”

“Once you’re in your new room, we’ll make arrangements for you to call home and tell them what to bring you.”

I nodded. “I suppose a bag of chocolate bars is out of the question?” I asked, kidding.

“We’ll try you on some simple broth later today,” she told me. “If that doesn’t upset your stomach, Victoria assures me that your personal nutritionist will make sure you follow your meal plan. Until then, you’re only allowed a very small amount of ice chips to moisten your throat.”

I nodded. “I didn’t expect that I’d be eating anything solid really,” I assured her. “I’m not really all that hungry yet. I’m sure that I’ll be famished before too long, but right now, I’m still aware that I’m uncomfortable. Not in any pain, but aware of where the pain should be.”

“We’ll keep you pretty high for the next few days,” she said. “When Victoria thinks you’re ready, she’ll start to cut it back a little until we find a balance we like.”

I nodded. “Not my first time with a morphine pump,” I said lightly. “She’s usually a little more generous than I prefer.”

“Really? Most people want more juice,” she commented.

“I find it sort of cripples me mentally,” I told her. “I’d rather be in pain than unable to think. It’s kind of like trying to run a marathon with a boat anchor. I feel so slow.”

“Do yourself a favor this time and be comfortable with slow. Your body needs to heal and the morphine helps your body relax so it can focus on that,” she said. “You don’t need to be a genius in here. This is the one thing that being smarter doesn’t fix for you.”

I nodded. “Fair enough. I just hate feeling out of it. I’ve already lost all day yesterday, all of Thursday and Friday and I might not get Wednesday night back either.”

“I understand,” she said. “Given the choice between high or alert, I think it’s admirable that you choose alert. I’m telling you though that you need to choose high for the next couple of days. I’m gonna go and get your chart updated and I’ll stop by your room later to see how you’re settling in.”