Chapter 8

I logged in and messaged her. I was a few minutes early, but she popped up right away. “How was your day?” she asked brightly.

“It was long,” I said with a laugh. I told her about the visits, the gifts, about the new computer and about the talk with Patrick Waterman.

“He came to the house?!!?” she burst out.

“He came to talk,” I said and told her what he’d said. “He’s going to sign the deal on Monday and he’ll testify against everyone else that was there.”

“That’s great news, but I don’t like that you talked to him alone,” she chided me.

“I was okay. Everyone was watching from the house. If he’d tried anything, he wouldn’t have made it back to his car alive.”

She nodded at that and sighed. “At least he’ll be out of our lives,” she said, then she grinned. “Let’s get back to the gifts,” she prompted.

I laughed. “One track mind,” I accused her of.

“Of course,” she said with a laugh. “Lets see what the girls got for their hero for Christmas.”

I started gathering them up. I had 43 different presents. I started with the ones that I thought were cans of cookies and chocolates. They all turned out to be mundane, if delicious. After four cans of homemade cookies, two of chocolates and a can of fudge that may have given me diabetes, I was out of the “safe” gifts.

I moved on to cards, hoping that they’d be the less risky of the bunch. After the third of those, I realized I might have been wrong. There were two SD cards that promised a very personal Christmas gift. The third contained a letter that I read very carefully twice before vowing to lock it and the SD cards in the safe.

After that, I was better prepared. The stack of SD cards grew as I read through the Christmas cards. I had half a dozen homemade coupon books redeemable for services that ranged from sensual massage to blowjobs and sex. By the time I got through the last of the cards, there were a dozen small parcels left. Out of 24 cards, only three of them were completely innocuous gifts. I wondered whether those were girls that hadn’t thought of me that way or ones that had to settle for help from well-meaning family members when choosing and wrapping them.

I shrugged and gathered the last of the presents. Cheryl’s gift was going to be last as I’d picked it up last. I grinned at Emma. “This one’s from Jessie,” I said, picking up the bag and rummaging around in it. I stuck my face into the bag and could definitely tell that the panties had been worn like Gina had suspected.

The card had a handwritten note that she hoped I’d like the gift and thought of her when I wore it. Inside was a silk tie that looked very fancy. There was a second note inside that said she’d remembered how good I looked in a suit and a guy could never have enough ties. I frowned in confusion.

“What’s wrong?” Emma asked.

“Well, she said she hoped I thought of her when I wore it, but I’m not sure she meant the tie,” I said.

“You think she expected you to wear the box?” she asked dryly.

“Do I think Jessie wants me to wear her box?” I tapped my finger against my lips, pretending to think about that statement.

She laughed. “Alright, alright! If she wasn’t talking about the tie, what else is there?”

I pulled out the panties she’d stuffed into the box. “I don’t think these are quite my size,” I said critically, “and they appear to have been worn recently.”

She laughed again. “I DARE you!” she blurted out.

“Right now or for the first day of school?” I asked evenly.

She turned bright red and nothing came out of her mouth even though she was moving it like there should have been words. “Yes!” she said when she could speak again. “Do it. I can’t wait to hear you explain why you’re wearing a lacy thong around the school.”

“Done!” I said.

“You would too,” she giggled.

“I’ll even tell Jessie I’ve been thinking of her all morning,” I promised.

“I need a picture of her face when you tell her that!” she blurted.

We went through the rest of the gifts and two of them were completely innocent. There were pairs of panties in three of them, one with a tag that said “return for refill” four of them had a memory card or flash drive or a DVD that I was sure were filled with images and possibly video that would get me arrested just for having them. The other two had letters that would get locked in the safe that made promises and stated hopes that they’d get the chance to show me how they felt about me.

That left only Cheryl’s gift to me. I wasn’t sure what was in it and I wasn’t sure I wanted to open it in the same laughing and joking environment as the others, but I took the present and tore open the paper slowly. Emma caught my mood and quieted to watch me opening the package.

Inside was a letter, a movie and an unmarked DVD in a sleeve. The movie was a Disney movie I hadn’t seen in years.

I put it and the DVD aside for the moment and opened the letter slowly. It was covered in Cheryl’s neat handwriting. I took a deep breath and glanced at the webcam, my trepidation showing.

“It’s okay, Slugger,” she said. “I know that those girls all love you. Read it.”

I turned my eyes to the page and started to read.

Dearest Matt,

I know that you’ve probably read a ton of letters and notes today before getting to mine. We all think more of you than I think you know. I have a lot that I want to say to you, but I’ll start with Merry Christmas. I love you, Matt.

I know that’s a lot to put in a letter. I do love you. You’ve done more for me than I could have ever imagined. You made me feel like it wasn’t the end of the world when the pregnancy test came back positive. You cared enough to take care of everyone, but you made sure I had support with me when I told my parents and you came to me when everything was done so that I wouldn’t have to be alone in explaining everything to them. I love you, Matt.

I wish things had been different. I wish that I’d talked to you when school started and I wish that I’d never gone to that party. If I had one wish though, it would be that the baby I’m carrying was yours because you’ll be an incredible father. You take care of all of us without any thought of asking for anything in return. I know that you’ll be the same with your children. I only wish that this little girl were yours so that she would know the safety of being protected by you, so that she’d know what it’s like to be loved by someone so completely. I love you, Matt.

Beyond that though, I wish this baby were yours because then she would have been made with love and I’d know what it was like to be touched by someone that cares for me as much as you care for everyone around you. I was a virgin when I went to that party. I wasn’t on birth control because I didn’t intend to have sex. I didn’t think about sex a lot. I do now. I think about sex all the time and it’s always you that I think about. When I have those thoughts, sex seems beautiful and pure and right, not like the memories I have. If I could go back and talk to myself when I was getting ready for that party, I’d tell myself to go to you instead. I’d want you to be my first, my last, my only, because I love you, Matt.

I know that what happened doesn’t matter to you. It’s part of what makes me love you, that you can accept us as if we’re the same as we were before it happened. I wish I could be one of your girls, even for one night. I think that would be enough in one sense. In another, it would never be enough. I think I’ll always have an ache in my heart for you. I love you, Matt.

When my baby is born, I want you to know her, to hold her, to be part of her life if that’s okay. I wish I could tell her to call you Daddy, but she’ll get an Uncle Matt instead and I know that you’ll be the best uncle she could ever hope to have. You’ll teach her more about the world than anyone else and make her chase each new discovery as she grows. I know this and it only makes me love you so much more, Matt.

I’m sorry if you feel awkward about me saying (writing) that over and over. I say it in my head every time we talk. I whisper it in the dark before I go to sleep. I feel like you need to know. I can’t keep it a secret any more. I’m not asking you to do anything or change anything. You be exactly who you need to be. Just be my friend and I’ll continue to love you.

When you were in the hospital and the other girls came forward, I was ashamed of myself for not coming forward with them. You deserved better from me. You were laying in a hospital bed, fighting for your life and I couldn’t speak out for you. I wanted to. I know you understand that and I know you told me that you understand that I had to protect my little girl. That only makes me love you more, Matt.

I wish I could find the courage to tell you this with my own voice, but it’s failed me every time I’ve opened my mouth to say the words. I love you, Matt. I can’t stop thinking it and I can’t stop wishing that I’d come to you that night instead of to the party. My life would have been so much happier. I just hope you can be Uncle Matt to my little girl even if I wish she’d been OUR little girl.

Love always,

Cheryl

I was weeping as I read it. It was beautiful. I looked up at Emma, wiping my eyes and she didn’t look alarmed. I read it to her. I had to. I couldn’t explain. I couldn’t do it justice. When I read her name at the end, we were both crying. “I can’t say no to that,” I said to her, overwhelmed. “I can’t turn away her baby.”

“You call that girl,” she said, her voice choked with emotion. “You tell her to list you as the father when her baby is born. She’s right. You’re going to be an amazing father. When you’re better, you’re going to take her and make love to her and show her every good thing that sex can be. I’ll talk to the others, but she’s one of us now.”

I already had my phone in my hand. It was only a little after 10 so I wasn’t worried about waking anyone. “I love you,” I told Emma as I dialed the phone.

I was still choked up when her mother answered the phone. “Hello?” she said curiously.

“Hi Mrs. Anders,” I said. “It’s Matt calling. I’m sorry if I woke you, but I really wanted to speak to Cheryl before she went to bed.”

“You didn’t wake us, Matt. Is everything okay? You sound a little upset.”

“Yes, Ma’am. I’ve just been opening some of the gifts from the girls and I opened hers and wanted to thank her for it.”

“I’ll get her,” she said kindly.

A few minutes later, she came to the phone. “Hi,” she said in a very tiny voice. She sounded embarrassed and anxious.

“You beautiful girl,” I said to her. “When that little girl is born, you tell her to call me Daddy. You tell EVERYONE.” I was crying again. “I will be there for both of you every step of the way and I will love you both every day of my life.”

I could hear her gasp and start to cry herself. “REALLY?!!? YOU MEAN IT?!!?”

“Yes!” I said. “I read your letter to me and it’s beautiful. I read it to Emma and she agrees. When they ask you who the father is, you tell them my name. When someone asks you on the street, you tell them. We’ll explain it to everyone. There are sixty girls that know it wasn’t my sperm that was present at the time. They deserve an explanation. We’ll help you raise your ... our little girl.”

“It’s not gonna ruin things for you and the other girls is it?” she asked anxiously.

“No, it’s not going to ruin anything,” I assured her. “All we have to do is read them that letter and they’ll understand. Can you accept the other girls?” I asked gently.

“Yeah. I talk to Tricia a lot. She says it’s kind of awesome, like having a bunch of sisters to talk to about anything. She said that you all sleep in one big bed. Is there enough room for me?”

“We’ll make room,” I promised. “For now, you tell your parents what we decided and we’ll work out those other details later.”

“I love you so much right now!” she gushed.

“We love you too,” I told her. “Merry Christmas, Mommy.”

“Merry Christmas, Daddy,” she whispered and giggled.

We hung up and I looked at Emma, overwhelmed to speechlessness.

“Oh, it’s not over yet, Slugger,” she said. She’d dried her eyes while I was on the phone. “we’ve arranged one other small gift that’s going to change your life all over again.”

I looked at her skeptically. “Change my life more than becoming a father?” I asked dubiously.

“Oh no, you do NOT get a hint about this. It’s being delivered tomorrow. It’s already in Tricia’s hands and wrapped,” she said with a smug smile.

“That’s fine,” I said lightly. “You’re not the only one with a surprise last minute gift.” I grinned.