Chapter 1

Valerie Winsor hums along to the radio while washing-up in the kitchen and can hear them both playing boisterously together behind her.

Jessica is squealing with delight as Dan romps with her on the floor which is so reminiscent of Valerie’s of own childhood with him as a schoolgirl. Now Jessica was the apple of his eye. But Valerie would always guard against feeling any jealousy against her daughter.

Staring out at the darkness through the window she recalled romping with Dan just the same; his laugh, his sensuous fondle, his biceps and his physical warmth; he had enraptured her.

But Valerie also recalled how that carefree sensuality had been crippled by her mother’s malice. One evening as they’d romped around, mother had entered the room and had spoken with such sudden icy spite... ‘Stop it! Get off him Valerie! You should be past this sort of thing now my girl!’

In that instance Valerie knew what was implied; their activity was not decent.

Something precious had been replaced by a guilt complex. It had also induced a deep sense of shame into Valerie’s sexuality.

Much later when she’d been engaged to James and they’d ventured into a full sex relationship. Valerie discovered that only a guilt-ridden fantasy of Dan allowed her to climax. For Valerie sex was a cocktail which included a shot of Dan and a shot of Shame.

But it was a bedroom secret she’d hid from James. He was blissfully unaware of it, even after their daughter was born and even up to his death in a fatal road accident a year ago.

Yet all these years later here was Dan, filling their home with his warmth and humour and providing Jez with the vital tactile presence of a man in the house. Being sensual with a man would not be a sin for Jessica.

Eventually on learning about James dying, Dan had rung her from Melbourne to offer her his condolences.

Then he’d conceded how lonely his life was in the god-forsaken land of Australia; where the barbecue beach-lifestyle was something that died out before Aids came into vogue for the gays who lived in Sydney.

But now Australia was simply a racetrack for rats that had jumped ship from other sinking countries.

How Dan dreamed of retuning to the paradise that was England; to be with his only daughter; to live with the only family he had in the world.

The idea of Dan becoming her man about the house had been one of those pivotal decisions in Valerie’s life.

What follows is her own account of reclaiming Dan: her prince of darkness.

Valerie’s Tale :

I’m humming along to the radio while washing-up in the kitchen and can hear them both playing boisterously together behind me...

Jez is squealing with delight as Dan romps with her on the floor which is so reminiscent of own childhood with him. Now Jez is the apple of his eye but I must always guard against any Jealousy.

While I stare into the darkness of the window I become aware of the reflection that’ s before me; of the two of them on the floor behind me. I smile at the quirk of it, like watching a hidden camera. Jez is squirming on the floor underneath Dan.

Kneeling over her, he’s tickling her first on the neck then the waist. She’s in convulsions, legs kicking out against the delightful torture, her white thighs flashing, her school dress skewed up past her knickers.

The tickling fingers work from her waist down into her thighs and suddenly I’m transfixed; my heartbeat the only sound I’m aware of. I watch his finger stroking slowly over her thighs and into the crouch of her knickers.

Now she’s ceased squirming; she’s motionless.

As her thighs begin parting, her brown eyes, shaded with uncertainty yet knowing, lift to meet Dan’s lustful gaze. His fingers are sliding inside her gusset.

Flicking off the radio I snap the moment back to reality; calling at them over my shoulder.

‘OK Jez, lets start getting ready for bedtime! you can begin by brushing those teeth’.

Normality returns.

Coming into the kitchen and pulling strait her dress Jez complains; ‘Oh Mom! I’m thirteen! It’s early yet!’

‘I’m afraid so Jez’, I say, ‘its school in the morning.’

Dan follows in behind her boyishly, ‘Can I give you a hand with anything Val?’

Turning my head, I take a look at Jez;; her dark brown shoulder-length hair; her vibrant expression; the small twin peaks declaring her dress to small, she was nearly beautiful and she should now be wearing a bra!

I gaze back through the window to hide my emotions;That fleeting image of her responding to his touch had so aroused me.

I answered Dan, “It would help if you could read her bedtime story for me Dad.”

‘Yea, that’ll be good!’ cries Jez; and she turns and heads upstairs with Dan in her wake.

My mind is in turmoil. What made me suggest he read her a story in her bedroom for heavens sake?

I fill the kettle and busy myself clearing away the washin-up, with silly questions nagging me;

Did I feel jealousy over my daughter having Dan in her bedroom?

Am I fantasising over my own yearnings for Dan, when I was her age?

Now I felt ashamed at my thoughts!

Just what did I expect them to be doing together?

Easy; simply creep upstairs and see for yourself Val!

As I place down her school blazer I see my hands are trebling at that very prospect.

Silently, I make my to the landing by Jez’s bedroom;

I can hear his deep soft voice reading from the storybook.

The door is ajar and I peek through the crack.

I clearly see him sat by her bedside holding the book on his lap.

Jez is in bed and appears to be nearly asleep.

Again self-revulsion begins creeping up: but then everything somersaults at what I really see.

While Dan methodically reads from the book on his lap, his other hand is under the blanket quietly exploring Jez’s parted thighs. Her eyes are closed and her pink tongue runs pensively over her top lip.

Looking at Jez again I see not a passive virgin but a teenager taking her first steps in sex.

And it was perfectly normal.

Mother had wronged me. My reaction now, must be wise.

Without disturbing them I go to my bedroom and lock the door.

I feel strangely elated and sexually charged.

I can feel a repression that’s over-ridden my sensuality, crumbling.

Slipping off my skirt and pants, I lie back on my bed and biting hard on my pillow, quickly frig myself up to a heavy climax and the pillow soaks up my animal cry of passion.

As my heartbeat gradually comes down, I realise I am smiling.

Suddenly, at the age of twenty-seven, I have vanquished my sexual taboo.

I’ll now feel good with sex ; and I need lots it!

It wasn’t unusual for the pair of us to be in the bathroom during the morning scramble and I hand Jez a fresh pair of panties saying, ‘Can you change into these Jez as I’m putting the washing through soon.’

Still sleepy, she simply follows orders and sitting on the loo she she removes her knickers.

Her pubescence is apparent; her thighs and hips have thickened and her snatch has sprouted a fine down of pubic hair. Her vagina is plump and rosy.