Chapter 12

Lord Oliver insisted I needed to take some time to hear a message of support from the seat. He had not quite ordered me to spend time reconnecting with slut, but the threat of an order was present if I did not take the advice.

I was tired and numb. I knew I would need to join the demon as a lover. I would need to be at my best tonight at Passion Mill. I didn’t see how either of those would be possible. I gave Lord Oliver the time he requested.

We retired to the sex room. He brought a five-liter bucket, over half full, which he began to heat. He suggested I make myself comfortable in a nest that wouldn’t leak too badly. I found a flexible shell and some blankets in the room’s supplies.

Lord Morgan began to stir as we entered; Dolphin was, as far as I could tell, still asleep.

Lord Oliver said, “Your mother, the Lady Celeste, was worried about you. The rest of the counsel shared her concern. You faced trauma last night, and we expected you’d face your first deeply unhappy community today. You face significant doubt as a lover at a time when slut and lover need to be as close as possible.

“She wanted to send a message of support; the seat stands behind you. You take risks, but that is your job. But not just any message of support will do: she wanted slut to hear her loud and clear.”

He cleared his throat. “This next part is a bit awkward. She thinks she understands your incest taboo, but before we begin, I want to check. Could you approach something she did sexually as hot, masturbate while listening to me talk about it, and embrace your masturbation? Do you draw the line at being sexual with her?”

I thought about what he said. I’d never clearly tried to articulate my taboo. It was certainly true that I’d grown more comfortable with the idea that my mom was an amazing slut in her own right as I grew. It was also true that that I was disgusted at the idea of sexually interacting with her. “That seems about right.”

By this point, the bucket had begun to warm and the room was redolent of pee. “As you can tell, we’ve brought props for you.” He was nervous that a small quantity of Celeste’s pee or cum might have mixed in what what they had. That didn’t seem much worse than fucking on a blanket she’d used recently—titillatingly daring but within my taboo. If Oak leaf had a group water pot for some boundary work I would not hesitate just because my parents my have used it.

“You know the junction of utility corridors between the kitchen and front of the hall?”

I knew it well. It served as a social nexus for the servants, especially when they were denied the great hall for social use. There was enough space that people might chat or throw down some blankets and fuck, being a part of the bustle that was Oak Leaf’s back corridors, without disrupting work that must be done. Much of the kitchen could see the space and there was sufficient room for bystanders. I’d spent many hours on that floor building rapport and trust as a lover of the servants. I nodded.

“She stood in the middle of the hall wearing this,” he said. He produced a soaked, bedraggled pile of rope and handed it to me. She’d actually done it: my mother had gone to the back halls wearing the formal Oak Leaf lover’s gown. From the state it was now in, she and her gown had gotten a work out. I handed the garment back to Lord Oliver: holding her used gown was as close to my line as I cared to get.

He began to speak:

{quote}

She stood facing the kitchen, as formal as she could be, Lady of Oak Leaf, on official business of the seat. Word had gone out and any servant that could attend had found somewhere near to watch. There were representatives of the nobility present, including myself.

She said, “Oak Leaf has learned that the Lady Riding Atop, Ashley, Third for Oak Leaf, faces a great challenge. She faces the legacy of Saltfisher’s dock, a village destroyed by shadows, though none know exactly why. The same may be happening at Passion Mill. She has chosen to fight in hopes of a better outcome there.

“My daughter needs our support. She’s faced significant losses, and at a time where she needs to be the strongest slut and lover possible, I fear that she will find even slut elusive. Ashley has taught us all about the joy of slut’s depths and helped us shared that joy amongst ourselves as lovers. I ask you to join me in returning that lesson to her.

“Many of you have fucked my daughter, shared her joy, peed with her, and received the orgasms she has offered. Regardless of whether you’ve joined her, I ask you to celebrate with me as your lover, ignoring class, position, embracing slut’s glory in a manner that Ashley has brought to Oak Leaf.

“Fuck me; use me for your pleasure. Join me in sharing love.” She took a deep breath, paused, and continued, “Even use me as your toilet; I will drink your pee.” Her face wrinkled into a weak smile. “If I’m going to join as Ashley has done, I guess that’s part of it too.” She finished with her head held high and voice firm. “As my daughter has done, I offer myself first to our servants, and later to the nobles.”

At this point Lord Oak Leaf stepped forward. “I shall return to take my turn with the nobles, but I want to encourage you all to use my mate. Use her in the spirit of love, joy shared, and slut embraced. Help her accept her vulnerability in the spirit that our daughter has brought to these halls. I offer my mate to you all. Celeste, dear, are you ready?”

“I’m nervous, but I trust Oak Leaf to help me meet Ashley’s example. I’m ready to be challenged.”

“I trust them too, my dear. You will be safe in their hands. I cannot think of a more fitting message to send to Ashley than you accepting your own vulnerability.” He turned and left.

{/quote}

I was stunned. Lady Celeste of Oak Leaf is the quintessential detached noble, rejoicing in the distance class brings her. Even so, she is admired. Everyone sees the openness and care she offers the family. She’s fair and thoughtful as an employer while maintaining noble’s distance. She did not take many lovers among our servants, but she had a reputation for stepping past noble’s distance in intimate settings, standing strong as a open slut and lover.

She had stood in front of the whole seat—for anyone not present would have heard within the hour—and thrown aside any distance she’d ever had. You can’t take something like that back. When you’ve invited someone to use you as their potty, their taste, their musk will always be part of how you see them. Their cunt pressed against your mouth or your lips surrounding their cock will be part of your interaction. When you’ve squealed and bucked under someone as they fuck you in front of their friends, you cannot put that aside. When all that happens in front of the entire seat, you will never hide the experience in a mental compartment of things that happened off in your private room. Your audience won’t either. Perhaps you can go back to maintaining distance in speech; perhaps the intimacy will never be repeated. Even so, those walls, once breached, can never be fully rebuilt.

She’d done all that to remind me that I was a slut of Oak Leaf, valued by the house and community. That was so important she’d been willing to open to the entire seat. Tears ran down my face.

“What is wrong, my lady,” Lord Oliver asked.

“I think I know the cost of what my mother is giving up to send her message. I’m not sure I’m worth it.”

Apparently Dolphin had awakened as Lord Oliver spoke. She stretched and came to hold me. “Your mother knew exactly what she was doing. I have no doubt that she thinks you are worth a thousand times the price she paid this morning. When the time comes, how much will you offer of yourself to see Ellen a lady, assured in her connection to slut and lover?”

Dolphin was correct. I could not imagine a limit to what I’d do to protect my children.

She said, “have you ever known Celeste to shy away from vulnerability needed to embrace her duty as lover?”

“No.”

“Could you imagine the Lady of Oak Leaf seeing helping Oak Leaf’s agent at Passion Mill as anything other than her duty?”

I laughed. Dolphin knew Lady Celeste as well as anyone.

“Oh, mom! I hope you are OK.” My mother had without realizing jumped into a pool far deeper than I’d dared to swim. Yes, I have fucked many of the servants. however in that I was almost always riding atop. Often literally, I was the one taking. Even when I was taken, I had some growth I was trying to guide my lover through. I generally maintained control. I had never been the fuck toy for all comers.

I had certainly never been the seat’s water pot. There were a couple of times where I’d encouraged everyone to pee on me; I thought with rising lust of Brook Singing squealing and splashing in the mess as we offered the seat that intimacy. Drinking pee was a different matter entirely. Of course I did that, but rarely, and only with my closest lovers or when vulnerability and connection were important. My mom was trying to live up to the image of Ashley the Slut spread throughout the seat’s collective consciousness without understanding how I limited my vulnerability.

“Did anyone actually ... did they actually use the Lady of Oak Leaf as a toilet?”

“As it turns out, no one asked her to drink. Leaves Stirring brought it up shortly after she got started. He said she sounded nervous and reminded her that she need not embrace every act of slut and lover she could imagine. There was no question that she was celebrating openness and vulnerability.”

Lord Oliver continued, “She said she was nervous about being used that way. Leaves said something strange: ‘When you see it as a gift and honor to drink, then you are ready. If you ever want this, then I’m sure you will make a truly amazing toilet, and just like your work as lover and community leader, you will gain strength from the experience.’ Until then, he suggested she wait.”

I pondered Leaves’s advice briefly. Normally I’d think of the one offering their mouth as the one making a gift of vulnerability. However, yes, if you could turn that around and create a special experience for the one peeing, that would be powerful for everyone involved. Someday, perhaps I could achieve that.

I was glad that the servants had helped my mother find her boundaries. I am sure she would manage no matter what, but being open in front of the seat was enough for one morning.

I would hate for her vulnerability and openness to go to waste. I decided to see if I could embrace slut as Lord Oliver and my mother requested.

I splashed my hands in the warm bucket of pee. Even that was a statement from my mother, from those who brought it here, and from everyone involved. They wanted to share a visceral aspect of their experience with me and to physically offer the strength of Oak Leaf’s web. Choosing a bucket of their pee supported my work as slut: I enjoyed pee play far more than most. They were saying, “Your kinks are silly and ridiculous just like all of sexuality. They are also wonderful. Your work as slut is important; we are proud to support you in making slut as you find most enjoyable.”

Tears continued to fall. I was touched by the care I was shown. However, by the time I worked up the courage to cup some of what was offered in my hands and drink, I was also starting to get turned on. I couldn’t help contrast this experience from drinking from Hay and Stone’s water pot last night. There was no question that this was an act of slut. To the extent my pleasure was muted, it was my own fear, stress and pain in the way. Everyone offered from the depths of their body in an act of vulnerability and openness to help my mother and I find our own strength as slut and lover.

I lay back down in my nest, the taste of Oak Leaf’s pee on my lips. As my hands began to wonder across my flanks, belly and legs, Lord Oliver flicked droplets across me.

With rising lust, I realized that if I survived Passion Mill, I too would join her in those deep waters. How else could I offer thanks for what had been done today? I was frightened and turned on imagining joining my mother’s ocean.

Lord Oliver continued:

{quote}

The first servant to use your mother was one of the seat’s infrastructurists. He approached, bowed and said, “My lady, do you mean that I can fuck you and find my own pleasure? I do not need to make sure you come, you’re offering yourself for our joy, not demanding we bring you what you seek?”

“Yes. I trust you will respect and honor me as your lover; I hope that I will enjoy what we do. I am however yours to use.” She spread her legs and he mounted her.

He began to fuck slowly, his hands playing with her tits. “I doubt you realize the gift you give,” he said. “I am proud to serve Oak Leaf. You’re fair and reasonable; we are provided for.”

He continued, “You didn’t have to share yourself with us. Many would jump at the opportunity to give the Lady of Oak Leaf a good come in celebration of Lady Ashley. Instead, you valued us enough to give yourself to us. This really is about slutting as we’re able.”

“I do value you. Lady Ashley showed us how strong we can be when we slut together. You need to use, to take, to rut as much as any noble.”

“Yeah!” By this point the servant was pounding Celeste, her hips meeting his thrusts on every stroke. She smiled as he planted himself and filled her with his cream. After she cleaned his cock, he dressed and moved towards his station.

Celeste lay, moaning softly. She was flushed with excitement, rubbing her legs, reaching for a release that she would not yet find.

{/quote}

I began to stroke my slit. Perhaps what Celeste did was not so different than me riding atop. She had found growth for that man, showing him that the seat did honor his slut alongside everyone else.

Slut was waking up: I could scent my excitement. I luxuriated in her impending return, slowly playing with myself. I was in no hurry.

Celeste hadn’t been either. I imagined her, cunt full of cum, nipples and clit somewhat tender. Nothing stopped her from bringing hand to cunt, climbing to her own Ecstasy. Instead, she toyed with herself, clinching and rubbing legs, fanning excitement doubtless, but only serving to tease her in preparation for her next lover.

Lord Oliver continued:

{quote}

Of course many people took the Lady of Oak Leaf. There were some surprises. A long-haired beauty squatted next to Celeste and said she was Pleasure’s Gift from passion Mill.

“My lady, when I heard you were doing this for Lady Ashley and for Passion mill, I went to find Lord Oak Leaf and asked how I might help. I think he jests with me. He said I could come and take my pleasure atop my lady’s face.”

“He does not jest. He simply sets you a hard task. Crawl atop me and take your pleasure as he suggests. However, you must embrace slut, you must relax and take the same pleasure you would from a lover with whom you share the greatest ease.”

“That is hard. I will try for my home. Except...”

“Yes?”

“I come from his bed. He offered me a chance to join him as lover to make sure I was ready to embrace slut and lover. I can go clean up,” Gift said quietly.