Chapter 33

I felt much better Saturday morning and the three of us went to my Kung Fu class and my shield training afterwards. I’d gotten a feel for the right way to throw the shield to hit what I was looking at and at the end of class, I thanked them both for helping me. Sifu had rebuked my attempts to pay for the specialized training, instead promising that he wanted only to see me do well in April.

After that, we got lunch and I got a call from Zoe. I showed the phone to them and grimaced before answering it. “Hello Zoe,” I said quietly.

“Hi,” she said just as quietly. “Did Emma tell you?”

“She told me that you wouldn’t be coming back,” I said. “Was there something specific that you wanted her to tell me?”

“Did she give you my letter?” she asked.

“She did. You sound upset. Are you okay?”

She laughed. “I called because I figured you were hurt. I didn’t want that.”

“I know,” I said. Emma had her head close so she could listen.

“Did you have any questions about what I wrote?” she asked.

“I didn’t read it,” I admitted. “The only words that mattered were that you weren’t coming back.”

“Oh. Are you angry at me?” she asked.

“No. I actually want you to be happy. I wish it could have been with us, but I want you to be well.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. I knew she meant it for what it was worth.

“We were your rebound,” I said dismissively. “Maybe it’s my fault for getting more emotionally invested than I should have, but I cared about you. You have to do what’s right for you. I respect that.”

“Can we still be friends?” she asked hopefully.

“No,” I said flatly. “Maybe some day, but not today. Someone I love very much taught me the lesson that when someone throws you away, they don’t get your time any more.”

“That’s not how it was!” she insisted.

“Yes, it is,” I countered. “You randomly met someone and fell out of love with us between Hanna talking to you at lunch yesterday and Emma finding out about your date last night? Come on. Give me more credit than that. We’ve been seeing each other three weeks as of today. That’s the definition of a rebound relationship. You needed a way to get back at the ex, make yourself feel sexy and attractive and get your head back in the game for dating again. I’m not particularly angry at you, but we all felt a little disposable after we talked last night. Maybe we can be friends someday, but I don’t see that being soon.”

“I didn’t MEAN it that way, you have to believe me!” she sounded really upset now.

“I do believe you,” I said. “You wouldn’t have had sex with us if you hadn’t cared about us. That’s what made last night hurtful. You sent a note rather than coming to tell me in person. That’s pretty cold. I didn’t deserve that. You’ve watched me continue to care for my ex-girlfriends better than you’ve ever been treated by a current boyfriend and you didn’t have it in you to face me to break it off.”

“I know. I thought ... I didn’t think Em would bring me back if I drove up there with her.”

“You could have called a cab,” I said dryly, then sighed. “Done is done. What’s on your mind? Or were you just calling to ask if we could still be friends?”

“I was hoping you’d come to dinner and meet him,” she said in a small voice and Emma recoiled from the phone, looking at it in shock.

“You want me to come to dinner and interview my replacement?” I asked, incredulously. “There’s not enough booze in the free world to sign me up for that shit-show,” I blurted. “At BEST, I’m treated to a nauseating meal full of the two of you kissing and cuddling and choosing between vomiting on the table or clamping my mouth shut and hoping you both take it for a smile. At worst, it turns into a passive-aggressive turkey shoot. Why, in the name of cake-baking Christ, would you think to ask me to a dinner date with the two of you?!!?”

I could feel her cringing. Emma and Hanna were horrified and I was pissed. I waited for an answer.

“Look, I just want your opinion of him,” she said. “It’s important that you like him.”

“No, it’s not!” I said sharply. “The only opinion that matters is yours. Who gives a sweet flying fuck what I think of him?!!? I fucking hate his guts and I hope he dies in a chemical fire. I’m your ex. Of all the little critters of nature, why would you think I could give an objective opinion?”

“Because you’re the smartest person I know. If you REALLY didn’t like him, you’d tell me that something was wrong.”

I sat quietly for a moment and she started to worry. “Matt? Are you still there?”

“Yeah. I’m still here. So you don’t need my opinion,” I clarified. “You already think there’s something wrong with him. You just want me to confirm your diagnosis so you don’t feel bad breaking it off with him.”

Now it was her turn to fall silent. I waited her out though. Silence was a great diagnostic of which person in a conversation was more uncomfortable and I wasn’t about to break the silence.

“Yeah,” she admitted in the end. “I don’t know what it is, but I don’t like the feelings I get from him.”

“Then I don’t have to meet him,” I said. “Break up with him. Take it as a life lesson. Tell him that you had fun, but you’ve been through a couple of breakups this semester and you need to take time away from dating.”

“Yeah. That’s pretty much what I was thinking. We’re supposed to go to dinner tonight. Can you please just show up for a bit?”

“Have you forgotten that I have a date with Tricia tonight?” I asked gently. “I don’t particularly want to stand her up to rubber stamp your breakup. Your last one didn’t turn out so well for me. I’ve lost one girlfriend this weekend. I’d like to stop the bleeding before I lose another.”

“I forgot about that tonight. I’m sorry,” she said.

“Yeah, it’s fine. Emma and Hanna are going to stop by the room later. Maybe they’ll look at him if you ask them.”

“Are they there with you now?” she asked delicately.

“Of course. Tricia would be too, but she’s home, getting ready for tonight.”

“Can I talk to them?”

“Speaker or do you want to talk to one of them in specific?”

“Emma’s pretty pissed at me, isn’t she?”

“She feels like she introduced more hurt into my life by bringing you on Halloween. Given what I’ve been through, you can imagine how bad she feels about that. I’ll see if she’ll talk to you.” I muted the call and looked at the two of them. “She’s got a creep vibe off this shit-brick and wants me to ditch my night to go hang out and see for myself. She wants to know if either of you will fill in since I have no intention of ditching Tricia for front row tickets for a petting zoo like that. I told her I’d see if either of you would talk to her. Volunteers? Or is she on her own?”

“I’ll do it,” Hanna said gamely. “I’m not as close to her as either of you so I can be a little less angry.”

I took the phone off mute and handed it to her.

Emma took my hand and looked angry. “What IS it?” she hissed softly. “People seem to think it’s perfectly okay to shit on you, walk away and then ask you to clean up their mess. I don’t get it.”

I shrugged. “I’m a nice guy. Nice guys get used, tossed aside, but kept on the outskirts for when the not-so-nice guy dumps them in the middle of nowhere because they won’t blow him on a date. I’m not the first choice or even the fifth choice, but I’m the only one left when people go through their phone contacts and eliminate the people that’ll tell them to fuck off.”

“You shouldn’t be though!” she said more emphatically. “You’re better than that. I’m furious with her for treating you like this. Of all the people she knows, she called you to give her an opinion of him. I’m glad you told her no.”

“I would have told her ‘no’ even if our plans for tonight were chili and flatulence,” I said dryly. “Even when the other four left, they did it face to face. Last night was dirty.”

Hanna tapped me on the arm. “She wants you again,” she said. “I told her I’d go with her after I helped Emma.”

I nodded and took the phone. “Hi,” I said.

“Hey. Hanna said she’d come. Thank you for that.”

“There’s no reason to thank me,” I assured her. “I didn’t tell her to do it. I left it up to her and she said she could be objective. I think you should know that if she gets a bad vibe off the guy, she might gouge out his left eye with a fork and replace it with his right testicle. I’m not going to tell her to behave, just like I didn’t tell her to go to dinner with you.”

“Okay,” she said, uncomfortably. “How bad is it?” she asked.

I knew what she meant. “Lana, Beck, Tabby and Collie all showed me the respect of breaking up face to face. They were hateful and hurtful and made me wish I was dead, but they showed me that much respect.” I left it at that.

“I’m sorry, Matt. I didn’t mean you to get hurt.”

“I get that a lot,” I said mildly. “Take care of yourself, Zoe. No matter what happens, be well.”

“This is goodbye, isn’t it?”

“I think it has to be.”

“Okay. I’ll never forget you.”

“I’ll never forget you either. Goodbye, Zoe.”

“I love you, Matt. Goodbye.”

I hung up the phone and put it down on the table, staring at it.

We sat in silence for a long time. I stared at the phone until the two of them took my hands and I looked up into their sympathetic faces. “We heard what she said at the end,” Hanna said.

I nodded and shrugged. “Make sure this clown isn’t a creep for her,” I said. “If he’s okay, tell her that. If not ... Well I’m not gonna discourage you from gouging out his eye, but a spoon is probably a better tool. Use the fork to tear open his scrotum to get at the testicles inside.”

That made her chuckle and we got out of there for the sake of a change of scenery.

“Are you really okay?” Emma asked when we were back home.

“I’ll be fine,” I said. “I have a date with Tricia tonight so I’ll concentrate on that and we’ll compare notes at the end of the night.”

They were going over to get a load of Emma’s stuff and I’d made sure the dresser was ready for her. I gave them my key and told them to get a copy made for each of them. I wasn’t going due to lingering twinges from Thursday night’s stretches, Zoe and wanting to take time to get ready for my date with Tricia.

I relaxed and looked over Facebook and Twitter while I killed some time. I decided to go get showered and ready and by the time I was done with that, I had plenty of time to get dressed and ready. I had plenty of money, my phone was charged, I felt pretty good and, miraculously, I’d shifted thoughts of Zoe and the breakup to the background.

I got out my suit and got dressed unhurriedly. I felt a twinge of regret that it wouldn’t be Tricia’s fingers undoing the buttons on my shirt as I put it on. I felt like she deserved so much more from me, but she claimed to still have a plan to wear her father down for Christmas.

When I was ready, I sat at my computer and recorded a new clip for YouTube, showing off how I looked all cleaned up. I knew I looked good and I explained about the dance tonight and mentioned little things from my week and signed off by telling people to go home, hug someone and be young. That was becoming my signature.

By the time I got back upstairs, the girls were back with the first load. I saw them coming up the walk and grunted sourly when I saw Zoe with them. I went into the kitchen and got myself a bottle of water, leaning against the fridge while I waited for them to come in with the first of the stuff.

“Matt?” Emma called as soon as they were inside.

“In here,” I said flatly, not moving to greet them.

She came to the door and shrugged. “You saw?”

I nodded. I could hear the others putting down piles of stuff and heading back to the cars. “It’s really a shame. I’d just gotten her out of my head for the evening.”

“She wanted to apologize in person. She didn’t want to take no for an answer.”

I closed my eyes and shrugged. “At least she’s helping. Doesn’t she have a date to get ready for?”

“The three of them are actually just going out somewhere casual,” she said. “You okay with this?” she asked.

“No,” I said. “But that doesn’t seem to matter to anyone but you,” I said tiredly. “Fine! Let’s get this over with. Maybe I’ll have enough time to get my head out of this mess before it’s time to go and pick up Tricia.” I walked back into the living room and stood waiting for them to come back with another load. I took another sip of the bottle of water in my hand and watched them carrying more stuff into the house. Hanna took one look at me and put down her load quickly to go back for more. Whatever she saw in my face, it wasn’t comforting.