Chapter 17

Wednesday wasn’t as miserable as I suspected it would be and I stretched out when I got up before the three of us got a quick shower and headed off to the gym after another brief massage from Emma. Hanna was surprised to see the girls since they were only in every second day. It was me that she really didn’t expect to see. I gave her a big grin. “Ready to stretch me out?” I asked. I’d prepared for her to do her worst by stretching out at home to limber up.

She worked me over good and I could feel the tautness in my joints. While she was working on me, I bantered with her, telling her how much I was looking forward to tomorrow night. Every time I mentioned it, she pushed a stretch just a little farther.

After she gave up on me, I got in a light run on a treadmill and then some of the machines before the girls dropped me off, laughing about the look on Hanna’s face when she saw me.

“She’s starting to get nervous. She expected me to be crippled for days. Now she’s wondering if it was willpower that brought me in this morning or if I was really tough enough to stand up to it.”

“And which is it?” Emma asked as they pulled up in front of the house.

“A little of both,” I admitted. “I’ll talk to you both after I see Dr. Spencer and pick up my ace.”

“Do we get to know what this ace is?” Zoe asked.

“I promise, I’ll tell you tonight, but I need another shower before school.” I kissed them both and hopped out to get ready for school. I took some Aleve and got a shower before I poured myself a quick bowl of cereal and threw a couple of energy bars in my backpack.

I met Tricia at her locker and she asked how I was. I told her we’d gone back to the gym this morning and Hanna had looked shocked to see me. She laughed and kissed me. We were walking to class when a girl I didn’t know walked up to me and asked if I wanted to go to the Sadie Hawkins Dance.

I looked at her and smiled. “I’m sorry. Tricia asked me yesterday. If it’s okay with her though, I’ll save a dance for you.”

She looked disappointed, but smiled when I told her I’d save her a dance. When she left, I looked at Tricia. “Do you know who that was?” I asked curiously.

“Her name’s Alicia. She’s nice. She’s never said anything mean that I’ve heard, either about me or about you.”

I dropped her off at her class and then walked to mine.

I noticed right away that Beck was back. She looked at me sadly and then looked away. I felt like that was progress. She seemed to understand where we were without going to pieces. The morning was fairly mundane. I watched lectures, was called to the board to solve a math problem, finished debugging my first programming assignment and emailed it to the professor after I confirmed the output three times.

Lunch was a strange event. Three more girls asked me to go to the dance with them and each time, I gave them the same answer, that Tricia Saunders was already taking me, but if they asked her, I’d try to dance with them. Beck and Lana were seated with their friends and I realized that when they’d been sitting with me before that they hadn’t brought any of their friends. I wondered about that, but decided it was for the best since I wasn’t about to be friends with any of those girls at this point.

Just before the end of lunch, Lana came over to the table. “I know you asked not to talk to us,” she started. “I just wanted to know if you were going to come to practice tomorrow? I told the coach you’d talk to her before this all happened.”

I shrugged. “I can come to the practice, but there’s not much point. I can’t be part of the team and avoid talking to you and I don’t think Emma would approve of me spending this much time with you let alone long practices and competitions. So yes, I’ll talk to your coach briefly, but I can’t imagine she has any way of convincing me to join.”

She nodded and apologized for breaking the silence before returning to her friends.

I immediately texted Emma to let her know and to tell her that I handled it. I also told her the basic conversation.

“I never dated a cheerleader before. =D” was her reply.

“Are you telling me to join up? LOL”

“Depends. Do you get the skirt and pompoms?”

“Pompoms are maybe. Skirt seems unlikely.”

“Skirt or no deal. XD”

“I’ll ask coach tomorrow.”

“Cute.”

“I kind of expected you to be mad Lana talked to me.”

“Not really. You handled it. If she keeps it up, she’s gonna find out that Malibu girls know how to beat a bitch. If you decide to try out, you’ll have to talk to her.”

“That’s why I wasn’t planning on joining the team.”

“Join. You’ll be in the middle of all that girl-flesh. It’s good for you. Just remember who’s president of the Sorority.”

“I’ll think about joining, but I think I have all the girl-flesh I need with you, Zoe and Tricia.”

“Maybe, but I like the thought of you having your choice of girls and still putting a ring on my finger.”

“I got asked to the next dance four times today, if that makes you happy.”

“What did you do?”

“Told them I was going with Tricia, but I’d dance with them if she let me.”

“Good boy. You’re either incredibly lucky with your choices or you really understand girls.”

“I understand. I’ve read everything I can find about love over the past nine years. I know she’s got self-esteem issues and she’d be crushed if I didn’t make it clear to all those girls that I’m not just going with her, but that she’s in charge of me.”

She told me she loved me and I told her the same before I ran to meet Tricia to steal a kiss and tell her about lunch.

“Three more?” she asked. “What did you tell them?”

“Same as this morning. I was going with you and if they wanted a dance, they had to ask you.”

“They don’t have to ask me,” she said, embarrassed.

“Yes they do. I’m not dancing with any girl that you don’t bring to me to dance,” I told her. “It’s your night and you don’t have to share me with anyone if you don’t want.”

She grinned and kissed me again before she dashed off to lunch and I went to my afternoon classes.

After school I met her at her locker and we walked together. I was headed to the hospital for my appointment with Dr. Spencer and her house was along the way.

I kissed her and told her I’d be online later before hurrying off to the hospital.

On the way, I made a call and asked for a meeting after I left Dr. Spencer’s. That call made me smile. I liked to win. I was fourteen after all.

“You’re running a bit behind schedule,” Dr. Spencer commented when I finally hung up my coat.

“Sorry. I’m on foot these days. It’s not far, but it’s still slower on foot.”

“Understandable,” she said and waited for me to sit down. I handed her an envelope. “For Charlotte. Don’t worry, I use ‘Mom’ in the note and I tried to make it light and supportive.”

“Thank you. I’m sure she’ll be happy to get it,” she said. “How are you doing? You’ve had a busy week.”

“Between the fight and Lana and Beck’s part in causing it, I’m not speaking to them. Emma asked me to cut contact with them. She didn’t ask out of jealousy, but because she sees them continuing to hurt me.”

“So you’ve put her in charge?” she asked, surprised given the tone of my previous relationships.

“Not precisely. She made this request and I knew that someday it would come down to a choice between her and the Powers sisters. I’ve known them for 9 years. There’s a lot of history there. I chose to take that anxiety away before it started to grow. In a choice between them, I choose Emma.”

“You’ve known her for a couple of months now. Are you convinced that she’s the one?”

“Is anyone ever convinced?” I asked. “People divorce all the time because they changed their mind about who they married. All we can do is be sure of our choices when we make them. Will we end up growing old together? Who knows. Do I love her enough to mean it when I gave her that ring? Absolutely.”

“And how do your other former girls think about this?”

“They didn’t really say. I haven’t seen them in a while. When I mentioned it to them, we were talking about more pressing matters. I think they took it as a sign that things have moved out of their ability to fix. Whether they can be happy for me and move on, I don’t know. Whether they can adjust to how things are now and find a place in my life, I don’t even know if they’re considering it.”

“Maybe you should talk to them,” she suggested.

I shrugged. “I’m not against that idea,” I said lightly. “They haven’t done anything like this latest revelation from Lana and Beck.”

“It bothered you a lot?”

“Of course. They were high on crystal meth and two of them were on PCP. The DA told me that. He said I would likely have been killed by them. I looked up the effects and I agree. They wouldn’t have known when enough was enough. They would have beaten me to death if they’d managed to overpower me. They also said directly that they were going to rape those girls for no other reason than they were with me and there was probably a second half to their payment that they were going to get out of them.”

She nodded. “I’ve seen the video,” she told me gently. “You did everything right. You reasoned with those boys and pleaded with them to reconsider and you left them alone once they were out of the fight.”

“That’s what the cops and the DA said,” I told her. “I don’t feel guilty about what happened with them at all. They earned what they got. They’ve still got a lot to answer for. The sticking point for me is that they were hired. Whether the girls paid cash or on their backs, they bought the services of a gang to put me in the hospital. They didn’t think to call them off and they didn’t think to tell me to watch my back.”

“And you’re sure that was malicious?” she asked.

“I’m sure it WASN’T malicious. A drunk driver doesn’t kill people maliciously, but does he deserve forgiveness when he plows into a group of kids?”

She nodded in understanding. “How long are you going to shut them out for?”

“I don’t know. Forever? Until Emma knows that I’m completely hers? Until they’re well enough to be out of therapy? Until I stop feeling angry? Emma said that the more I forgive them, the more they’ll find things for me to forgive. I think she’s right. I’ll always love those girls. I care about them even now, but they can’t be in my life. The role they play in my life now is tormentor.”

“So for now, you push them out of your life until they can serve a different role?”

“I suppose that’s one way of thinking about it,” I allowed. “The truth is that their exile doesn’t have an expiration date. They’re out. Talking about them coming back in is just an admission that circumstances could occur that would make sense for them to be back in my life. Nuclear war could break out and the three of us could be the only survivors for a thousand miles. I can hardly hold a grudge that far. I think that’s the most likely twist of fate that would result in us mending fences though.”

“You’re taking it fairly well,” she said simply. “How are the rest of the family handling it?”

“Lilly and I had a fight about it the other night and she hasn’t spoken to me since. I told her to go fuck herself. Patty understands that I don’t have any forgiveness left now. Dan and I haven’t had a chance to speak and Donald doesn’t even stop to talk to me most nights when he checks on us. He’s concentrating on mending things between him and Lilly.”

“Maybe he talks to Lilly because your fight with her upset her more than you thought.”

“Maybe, but that’s too bad. She was out of line and I told her off for it rather than letting her have her way.”

“You don’t sound sorry about that,” she commented.

“No reason I should,” I said simply. “I didn’t do anything wrong. I just refused to allow her to get away with talking to me like I had.”

“Imagine if you’d been able to do that in September,” she said, drawing the point back home.

“So it’s all my fault?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Not at all,” she shook her head. “But you’re fond of pointing out what everyone else could have done to avoid it. You begged for a clue as to what had happened, but you’re a fairly self-aware person. When you couldn’t make sense of it, you could have set them down like you did with Lilly. It’s a lesson to take into the future. It’s difficult to be assertive like that. We all worry that we’re being selfish. Spend some time reflecting on that. Don’t obsess, but think about how you can make that part of yourself and use it.”

I nodded. She’d given me a lot to think about, but then she always did.

“And now it’s time for you to go,” she said. “I received a call and was informed you needed a different type of consultation. Emma has expressed an interest in submission?”

“No actually. Someone she introduced me to. She’s an interesting enigma. She’s ... combative. She pushes men hoping to find someone strong-willed enough to push back.”

“You’re sure she’s not just hostile to men?”

“Positive. She notices men and seeks them out. It’s sort of like a test to weed out the ones who’d be disappointing to her.”

“And you’re looking for guidance to attract her attention?”

“No, that ship has sailed. She’s interested. My consultation is on methodology. Our next encounter is going to be a test to see if I can break her, since she failed to break me.”

“And you want to break her?” she asked.

I shrugged. “I’m fourteen. I like to win. She made it a game, I’m just playing it smarter.”

She laughed. “Be careful, Matt. You could end up having to buy another collar.”

I shrugged. “We’ll see. Thanks for everything. Tell Charlotte we miss her.”

I left and made my way through the hospital to Samantha’s office and knocked.

She let me in and I took the seat she offered me. Her office was smaller than Victoria’s and seemed more cramped with medical journals. As a surgeon she didn’t need to project a relaxing environment.

“So, what brings you to me?” she asked, her smile telling me she was looking forward to this talk.

“I have a session scheduled for tomorrow night with someone new,” I told her. “She’s an interesting case. Openly hostile to men in public, combative about her ability to inflict pain and boastful of her tolerance for torment. We have an open challenge as to which of us can break the other. She failed to score in round 1. Tomorrow is my chance to tip the scale in my favor”

“And what methods do you have at your disposal to inflict torment?”

“Name it. Canes, whips, quirts, cat-o-nine-tails, paddles, straps, a Pear of Anguish, restraints, violet wands, just about anything you could ask for in a dungeon except for furniture. I do have a pull-up bar that I can dangle her from though. That’s rated for 250LBS.”

She looked disturbed at the equipment I’d listed. “Where did you GET all that?”

“The previous owner died. I was helping clear out her apartment and no one else wanted the stuff. There’s also a couple of fuck-machines and a Sybian with all the attachments that I could find available online.”

“Jesus, kid. Put a little furniture in your dungeon and you could start your own pro shop.”

“I could probably GET the furniture, since I doubt they were able to get rid of it, but I really don’t have a place for it. Oh, I also have a few feathers and things that can be used to tickle.”

“Alright. You have to be flexible. She might legitimately have a pain tolerance high enough to make it impractical to beat her into submission. Feathers are good. The Pear of Anguish is NOT for the faint of heart, so leave that in whatever drawer you have it in unless you actually want to torture the girl. The Sybian has potential. Girls sometimes break from orgasm denial if you can keep them on edge long enough. It could work the other way too. She could go bonkers if you strapped her onto it and left it turned up.” She paused, tapping a pen on the blotter deep in thought.