Chapter 4

Sally lay next to Tommy, looking into his eyes for at least a minute before she spoke.

“Honey,” she began, “I don’t know exactly how to explain this to you. I never, ever thought we’d have this conversation.”

“It’s fine, Mom,” Tommy replied. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

“OK. Like I said, I’m sorry. I should have known where this was heading. But honestly, I tried to stop you over and over.”

“I know, Mom. I just kept thinking that you seemed to want it just as much as me.”

“I did, but I also know how terribly wrong this is. You’re my son. And, you’re so young.”

“Mom, don’t go over that again. I know all of it and I don’t care about any of that.”

“I get it, Honey. Now I know ... you do want to fuck me.”

“Yes, Mom. Do you want me to say it like that? OK. I want to fuck you so badly, Mom. I want to fuck my mother because I love her and because she’s the hottest woman in the world.”

“Tommy, I can’t deny I love hearing that. Both parts of it, really.”

“Then what’s the problem, Mom? We’ve come this far. What’s stopping you?”

“It’s like this, Tommy. That ... act. Um ... intercourse. You see, lots of women take that more seriously than any other sex act. Guys, especially young guys, usually don’t get that.”

“OK, I guess I’ve heard that, Mom.”

“Well, the thing is, I’m that way, a lot more than most women. I don’t take that act lightly. In fact I take it very, very seriously. When I do that, with a guy, it just ... changes me.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I do that...”

“When you actually fuck a guy, right? That’s what you mean?”

“Yes. When I let a guy ... fuck me ... put it in me ... something happens inside me, to my head, to my heart, to my emotions. And for that reason, I’m very, very careful about who I do that with. I’ve done other things with lots of guys. Oral, hands, other things. But that I’ve only done with a small number of guys in my life.”

“I guess I really don’t understand, Mom.”

“Let me try again, Tommy. When I let a guy put it inside me, I go through this transformation. Outside I’m the same. But inside it’s like ... Like I belong to him. And that can be a cool thing. But it can also be hell if it’s the wrong guy.”

“You mean, like Dad?”

“I hate to say that, but yes. The first time I let him ... fuck me, I changed and he knew it. I just, had to have him after that. I couldn’t keep my hands off him. I wanted him all the time.”

“Well, isn’t that how it’s supposed to be when you’re married?”

“This was even before we got married. But after we got married, and I had you, it got worse. I wanted him more than ever. I’ve never been more horny than when I was pregnant with you. There’s something most moms never say to their sons. But I think me feeling that way bored him or something. It was never the same and it never got better for as long as we were married. Until not too long ago, when he finally left.”

“So, what does that have to do with you and me, Mom?”

“I see two problems, Honey. First is that, when I get like that, it’s not good for me. I let the men I’m with take advantage of me. I lose myself because I’m so intensely attracted and attached to them. I don’t exactly become their slave, but close enough. And secondly, and most distressing and obvious is ... I’m your mother!”

“I know that, Mom, obviously.”

“Well, imagine, Tommy ... If we did that. If I actually ... fucked my own son ... and that happened to me again, with you, it would be horrible. I mean, what if I got so attached to you that I couldn’t keep my hands off you? What if I had to have you in my bed every night? What if I just wanted you all the time?”

“Yeah, so?” Tommy said.

“So?” Sally replied. “Tommy, imagine what that would be like. What about you having sleepovers? What about when you want to be with other girls? My desires, my neediness would get in the way of everything. And honey, in a few years you’ll start looking for a girl to get really serious with, like in a long term relationship. And how can you do that if your mother has to have you in her bed every night? Do you see what I mean?”