Chapter 1

“You look at your son’s text messages? you look through his phone?” Sally said.

“Absolutely,” Zooey replied. “I mean, I don’t look all the time. But I don’t feel like I have to.”

“Why not?”

“Because, he knows I look. and that I can look any time. I told him that the minute he got his first phone, years ago. It’s just part of our deal. But I trust him. He knows that too.”

“You don’t look at Tommy’s phone?” Zooey asked.

“No way.”

“Are you afraid he’d be mad, Sally?”

“I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not.”

“Then why don’t you do it? It’s just about being a good parent, keeping an eye on the choices our kids are making.”

“Honestly, Zo, I’m probably afraid of what I might find.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. What if I found out he’s looking at porn, or sexting girls or something?”

“So what? They all look at porn, Sally! Are you serious? Don’t you? I do!”

“Well ... really? I don’t know, Zooey. Maybe I’ll think about it. Actually his phone is here right now. He got picked up and taken to practice and he left his phone on the counter in the kitchen.”

“You should totally look. Let me know if you come across anything fun!”

“Shut up! Talk to you later.”

“Bye!”

Sally felt guilty as she retrieved her son’s phone from the kitchen. She also felt something else, but she didn’t immediately identify it as excitement. She carried the phone to Tommy’s bedroom. She didn’t really know why she chose to look through his phone there, either. But she sat on his bed and started trying to guess his password. After a dozen tries she tried Tommy’s dog’s name and the phone unlocked.

“I so shouldn’t be doing this,” Sally thought. “But Zooey is probably right. It can’t hurt to look. I’m just being a good mom.”

Sally scrolled through her son’s picture albums looking for something suspicious. Everything looked normal. She opened several albums and saw selfies of Tommy, pictures of his friend and many other things that seemed like routine teenage boy pictures. When she scrolled to the bottom of the list of albums she found one titled, Nothing Special. When she opened it, she gasped.

“Oh, no!” Sally whispered aloud. “What the ... no! Oh, how could Tommy take these pictures. Who is this girl? Maybe he didn’t take them. Maybe the girl sent them to him. She’s almost naked. Now she is naked!”

Sally wanted to look away but her curiosity wouldn’t let her. Then another gasp.

“Is that... ? Is she... ? Oh no, is that Tommy? She’s ... oh God ... she’s giving him oral!”

Sally threw the phone down on the bed and put her face in her hands.

“How did this happen? I know Tommy’s father has been gone since he was 10, but I’ve tried so hard to be a good mother. I don’t ... I can’t look any more. I can’t see any more of my son ... like that!”

She sat motionless for a short time before glancing at the phone. A few moments later she was reaching for it.

“I just need to see how far this may have gone. Oh, how could Tommy have taken pictures like this? Oh shit! I should absolutely not be looking at my son’s ... penis! This is so bad!”

Sally put the phone down again and looked at the wall. But she picked it up again seconds later.

“When did my baby boy ... grow into ... a man? I mean ... that’s a full grown ... penis. It’s ... Oh God, no. It’s a really, really nice penis. I think it’s been way too long since I’ve seen an actual penis. I can’t believe what I’m thinking. I want to see this penis, in person, not in pictures. I want to see my son’s penis. Oh, what is wrong with me?”

Sally closed her eyes and tried to center her mind. She realized her heart was racing. She also felt something lower, between her legs.