Chapter 6

Big Boss said, “Well, AC, what new and exciting program have you come up with this time. I understand that Emil suggested it, and that was why I wanted him in here in case he had something to add. So far, all of his suggestions have been good for showmanship, though not always practical, so I am all ears.”

“Yes, Sir. Emil suggested that we use that time machine that nobody has ever had any use for to go back in time and make programs about our ancient history. For example, he suggested that a series could be made of our evolution from wild carnivores to the civilized beings that we are today. Similar programs could be made about the history of other species in the galaxy.

“We could not kill any animals during the course of the production because of the danger of changing history. By that, I mean that if we accidentally killed your grandfather, 1,000 times removed, we might change the flow of our species so that you were not here, and that would be a disaster. Anyway, I’m sure you get my point that we would have to be very careful not to make any changes in the past so that we wouldn’t change our present.

“In effect, this would be a travelogue through time, but we would jazz it up enough to make it interesting and, at the same time, produce a series of programs that might serve as teaching aids in the schools. That would give a boost to our status with the public and the educational community. With Emil to direct the programming, I see this as a big winner for us.

“I don’t have a lot of detail to present at the moment, but I wanted you to have a feel for the concept. We simply want a go-ahead from you so that we know that we are not wasting corporation funds. It is my vision that we set up a separate division, run by Emil, that would handle all of this programming as well as the BGFG project. That way, Greater Galaxy Productions could go back to producing the kind of programming that we are famous for, and these new programs with all of their growing pains would not distract us from our main job.”

“AC, as usual, you have come up with a winner of an idea. Okay, go ahead with the new division. I like the idea of splitting it off from our main source of revenue, because I have already been hearing some noise from our major stockholders about us wasting money on unproven ideas.

“Not only that, but the new division can become its own profit center once it is established. I’ll call a special meeting of the Board of Directors to get the approval for a new division as soon as possible. Do you have a tentative title for your new division, yet?”

AC looked inquiringly at me, and I suddenly had a brain-lock. All I could think of was my internal joke of “Down and Dirty Productions.” As soon as I said that, I was sure that I was going to be thrown out on my ear, but what I got was two bouts of uproarious laughter. Big Boss pounded his desk and practically shouted, “That’s a perfect name for the new division! That name alone will go a long way toward selling the idea. Emil, I have said it before and I’ll say it again—you are a marketing genius!”

AC was still laughing, but I could see the approval on his face. Dammit, I was getting to know these aliens pretty well in some respects, but I also realize that I would never fully understand them. The point, though, was that the idea for the new division of the company had rung a bell with Big Boss, and that was the important thing right now.

While we walked more sedately back to AC’s office, I asked, “Where would we put the office and production facilities for DADP?”

AC looked at me kind of funny, then broke into laughter again. “DADP for the Down and Dirty Productions project is a perfect name. Emil, you have done it again! Greater Galaxy Productions owns some property about 50 miles away from here. It strikes me that would be the perfect place for DADP to set up shop. The replicators could have a place ready for you within 10 days of getting the order to start construction.

“That seems the right distance for you to be close enough for emergency meetings with Big Boss, but far enough away to eliminate casual visits by busy bodies. What do you think?”

“Frankly, AC, I have so little knowledge of how businesses are run in this part of the galaxy that I just have to take the word of people whom I know to be knowledgeable on the subject. Since you are the most knowledgeable person I know, I’ll just take your advice anytime you offer it.”

“Thank you, Emil. I appreciate your confidence. Okay, I’ll issue a memo to Big Boss suggesting that location for the main office of DADP if and when it gets the approval of the Board of Directors.”

“AC, I hope that I can continue to have you around as a mentor and as the liaison person for DADP.”

“Oh, I think that you can depend on that, Emil. You are too much fun to be around for me to let you go without a fight. Actually, I have a few powerful enemies who would like to see me move away from Greater Galaxy Productions, so I may wind up working for you pretty soon.” My only answer to that was a laugh as I continued to walk toward my own office.

Lola was waiting for me with a list of possible targets for BGFG to go after. Before we settled into that, I told her about DADP and the recent meeting. She looked kind of down until I said, “Lola, if you are willing, I would like for you to transfer with me as my main assistant. How do you feel about that?”

Lola suddenly lost her dour mood and almost jumped into my lap with excitement. “Oh, Emil, I would love to go with you to the new division. I have several ideas on the time travel thing to propose when you have time to listen to them.”

“Lola, I can always take the time to listen to your ideas, but, right now, we are falling behind in our production schedule for BGFG, and DADP is not even functioning yet. Let’s take care of the BGFG problems before we relax and dream about DADP.”

“Thank you, Emil. You are absolutely right. Here are some suggestions I have for our next line of programs.”

Lola handed me a stack of papers and photos, and the one that caught my eye immediately was a beast that looked like a cross between a tiger and a lion. The name “Tiglon” occurred to me immediately. It was native to the savanna of the planet I called “Prairie.”

There were no native sentients on Prairie, and the Tiglons were very close to wiping out the native herbivores. The planet would be in sad shape pretty soon if the Tiglon population was not thinned. Our show would be a good place to start.

The Tiglon’s natural prey was a creature something like a zebra in appearance. At least, it looked like a zebra and was about that size. A Zebra might stand off a single Tiglon, but they usually hunted in packs and chased the Zebra in a circle in relays of Tiglons until the Zebra was exhausted. At that point, the whole pack rushed in and easily dispatched the native Zebra.

It looked to me like a perfect place to break in a new hunter. If I did take on the operation of DADP, I would have very little time to hunt, so I had better start breaking in my replacement. I had Lola send out a memo to all of the staff working on BGFG asking for volunteers to take over my job as the primary hunter. Anybody who was interested should show up at a certain meeting room on a certain day at 2:00 PM for more details.

I was surprised at how many showed up for the meeting. I explained that I was looking for my replacement on the BGFG show as the main hunter. The training would start with the next show. I said, “The gender of the hunter is not important at this stage, but the hunter has to be willing to take orders and to kill the targeted animal. Anybody who could not kill an animal should leave now.” That caused about half of the audience to leave. A quick count showed that there were 13 possible hunters left in the room.

“Okay, the next question is how many of you can stand still to face something like this?” At that point, we showed the program sequence where I shot the Dracula in the mouth as it was swooping toward me. That was the point at which all but three people left the room.