Chapter 21

My shirt was soaked. I had wrapped up Renée like a hungry python. The waterworks gushed. She buried her face in my collar. She cried her eyes out. I made whatever shushing noises I thought could help.

“You have been good.” I admitted. “You’ve been good to me.”

“Do I have to give you a handjob?” She hissed. I patted her blonde hair.

“You don’t have to do--”

She was scrambling at my fly and tugging down my jeans. I grabbed her head with both hands. I tilted her red running face up to mine. My jeans and boxers stopped falling around my knees.

“I’ll make it feel really good and--”

“Renée stop!” I shouted, but she kept blubbering.

“I’ve done it a few times. I know what I’m doing. I could suck you or-”

“Connie, help!” I pleaded over Renée’s head.

“Nope, one girl’s enough for you, Dean. I think she’d be more upset if she had to share you right now.” Connie said. She brushed her hair back and I hated her. That feeling passed.

“I’m your girl!” Renée bellowed into my chest. She had collapsed against me and I hugged her hard. Gone limp, she weighed more than she looked. I sought help. Elizabeth waited with serenity. Zoë was giving the fist to mouth, tongue pushing cheek, gesture. Marin’s head was pointed in the opposite direction and held true. Xiomara shook her head no. I loved her. That feeling never passed.

“You’re not my girl because you’re going to give me handjobs.” Renée mattered at the moment. “You’re my girl because I want to look out for you. I want to care for you. You’re my responsibility.”

That last sentence was a weight on my shoulders and a weight off of my heart. I couldn’t stop smiling and Suzi wasn’t pleased about that.

“Seriously?” Hannah spun on her stool. “That’s what that means? I hoped we were fucksluts.”

“Fucksluts?” Suzi grimaced. “That’s redundant. All sluts fu--”

“Hope?” My sister beamed. She had shut Suzi up by squeezing thigh meat.

“Assumed, I guess.” Hannah shrugged.

“We are not his sluts.” Connie explained. “Right, Renée?”

“I’m a one-man girl.” Renée announced. The room erupted. All the girls were talking at once. I only parsed Renée’s words. Pat was screechy but somehow quiet. Xiomara was shut down a couple of times. Connie increased in smugness.

I was stuck, by the kitchen cabinets, in an embrace with my pants around my ankles. I was erect and she pressed me between our bellies. She was climbing me again. I hugged her wrapping her head with one arm and circling her waist with the other.

“I can’t do it! I-I want to be ready but I get so close and I’m terrified.” I stroked her hair as she explained. “I give handjobs whenever Connie makes me go out. I can’t say no all night and her stupid boys keep asking! You don’t ask! You don’t hug me! You don’t love me ... If you start asking, will I need you to love me? I told Connie she could go first. Once she starts, how am I supposed to say no?”

“Nuh-Oh--” I grabbed her jaw and moved her mouth in speaking noises as I suggested.

“I don’t want to tell you no.”

“Do you want to tell me yes?”

“Not yet. Maybe not even soon.” Her eyes brimmed with tears. I grabbed her jaw.

“Naw-tuh yeh-tuh.” I smiled as I did it and her eyes softened. “That better?”

“It is...”

“I get all the hugs I want, right?” I thumbed aside her tears.

“What if I want more than you do?” She pleaded.

“Squeeze me.” I told her. “Now, let’s see how I’m failing all of the other girls.”

“You’re not failing ... You’re not asking.” She changed tack mid sentence. “Let’s go ask.”

“I am sick of my virginity!” Hannah was shouting at Andrea. “We didn’t all get an offensive line to ourselves!”

“I never--”

“Then fuck him.” Connie rolled her eyes. “Because Dean turns down sex all the time! He fucked Suzi for Christ’s sake.”

“What’s wrong with Suzi?” Worried Elizabeth.

“He thinks I’m stuck up.” Suzi was as blue as a woman could be. “It wasn’t--I don’t want to wait for you idiots to catch the fuck up!”

Zoë was the only one unsurprised by Suzi’s outburst. She wrapped her arms around our likely valedictorian. “Sweetheart. Dean did well with you and don’t forget what you promised in the shower. I have to hear everything.”

“Your best friend is her brother’s pimp.” Pat scolded Xiomara.

“Why is that my fault?” Xiomara shook. “I thought she hated Dean!”

“I didn’t realize what we had in common.” Zoë explained.

“What’s that?” I asked. I startled Marin, Hannah, and Pat who had focused on the mudslinging that had devolved around the table. Pat would have snapped but she saw me refastening my pants. That calmed her down.

“They like sex.” Connie inferred.

“Really?” I cocked a grimace as I thought over Zoë and my history.

“Nah,” Zoë shook her head. “I like getting girls I like with guys I like. You like getting girls you like with you.”

“Sweet.” Pat moaned.

“Is everyone OK? Did anyone say anything too mean?” I cut off Hannah from whatever was she was saying next.

“Yes.” Three girls declared. Suzi - yeah, obviously. I was warming up to her and everyone needed to know that. Connie - guiltfully. I felt like I was being played by her. I needed to open my eyes more. Pat - glaring at my sister. I looked to Zoë.

“I said she was going to be the first one you left bruises on.” Zoë shrugged.

“Why would that come up!” I growled. Renée reached back and rubbed my thighs while leaning back against my chest. The way she looked up at me, she must’ve been surprised to find pants.

“I have an idea.” Renée announced.

“What?” Connie prompted her teammate to keep going.

“The pink cards.” Renée blushed to demonstrate the color pink.

“Oh gross!” Pat grimaced.

“Those were the black cards.” Marin squeezed Pat’s hand.

“What? What do you mean cards?” Elizabeth asked.

“The locker behind you. No, next to that one.” Elizabeth spun on Renée’s instructions and flung open the door. She collapsed before the door stopped swinging. She was looking up, a deer in the headlights at all the games, toys, and books. She was bawling before her knees touched the floor. I kissed Renée’s hair and rushed around the table as Zoë lifted Elizabeth to her feet and into my arms. Elizabeth clawed out of the hug.

“Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!” Her tears dried up quickly, but her freckled cheeks were a reddened mess. Connie was marching Renée over to the sinks. I tried to help Elizabeth along the way to the showers. She flinched from me. Zoë pulled me to her. Xiomara walked Elizabeth to the sinks.

“Holy shit! You told me there were games!” She squealed and rushed to the next locker. “Oh shit! Suzi you play right?”

My sister gave Suzi a guitar.

“Yeah,” Suzi nodded. “Though I’m much better in the box. It’s easier to remember the songs and work my finger positions or--”

“Sweet!” Zoë interrupted Suzi. My sister ran her hand around my waist as she circled back to the open lockers. “Reggie wouldn’t let us near the lockers. The boys got the lockers and the girls got the kitchen.”

“Reggie’s more of a prick than I figured.” I rolled my teeth together. “But why wouldn’t he and the guys bring out the games or the instruments? We do nothing but play games.”

“We were so bored all we could do was fuck.” Zoë shrugged. “That was his plan, but I pushed him off a few times a day. He listened to nos for a few hours. It was hard on Elizabeth though.”

“She was ra--”

“No! Idiot! She was with Noel. He pretended he liked her. Kept the other boys off of her at least. He was crushing pretty hard on Reggie though.” Zoë tiptoed her fingers up my spine. I tried to read her face. Joy. Unfettered excited joy. She picked up Display Sexual and Social Courage. “We’re playing this?”

“That’s what Renée offered.” I smiled. “We have to pick teams. Tops and bottoms--”

“Xiomara! Me and you!” My sister waved over my head to where Elizabeth was looking better. Renée smiled at me.

“We got an odd number.” Connie warned.

“Oh, shit!” Zoë grumbled. “OK, I’ll take Xiomara and Liz. Who are your bitches, Dean?”

“I was hoping to be on Dean’s team.” Xiomara announced.

“He’s my bottom.” Pat declared with force.

“No, he’s not.” Connie shook her head. “I think he can be a top. He holds himself taller. Thanks, Suzi.”

“You’re welcome?” Suzi looked confused. “Does that mean I’m his--”

“I’ll play with Renée.” I decided. She blushed firetruck red.

“Renée’s mine, Dean.” Connie hugged her girl.

“Excellent, Connie and Renée are my bottoms today.” I declared. The room died. Andrea and Marin had been having a conversation. Everyone looked at each other. Zoë finally clapped her hands, taking on the attention.

“Excellent! That’s the right move for certain!” She beamed. “So what are the other two teams?”

“Shit.” Pat grumbled. “I’ll take Suzi and Andrea.”

“Goddammit!” Hannah grumbled. I raised an eyebrow and she stared me down. “You’re a top, I wanted to be a bottom and now I’m stuck with this sexy thing.” She flicked Marin in the nipple that was almost poking through her top. “Stupid sex slave.”

“I’m not a--”

“Too bad!” Zoë took the table and opened the box like a kid at Christmas. Ark OE 9-1’s original girls went to work clearing the table. Elizabeth hovered over Zoë’s shoulder. Connie sat me down on my stool.

“Bo-oring!” Zoë tossed the white cards back into the box. She had the black cards next. “Whoa-ho-ho!”

Elizabeth blanched when Zoë showed her the card. “This is going to make things gay!” My sister snorted at my face. “Oh, relax. You’re the only boy anyways. I meant lady-gay.”

“Put those back, Zoë.” Elizabeth pleaded.

“Fine!” She grinned though. Xiomara ran her fingers around the back of my neck. She leaned down and whispered.

“Who’s getting my seat?”

“Connie.” I said, attracted her attention.

“What?”

“Seating arrangements. Zoë’s taking the bedside, so you’re joining me on showerside.”

“That’s a good way to name directions.” Suzi smiled.

“Kitchenside for me and my girls.” Pat declared.

“But Hannah and I sit here all the time anyways.” Marin pleaded.

“Called it.” Pat stuck out her tongue.

“Fuck that noise. You’re sitting next to Dean. Lockerside.” My sister dared Pat to countermand her. The redhead nodded.