Chapter 16

My foot stung. I kicked again. The back of the cabinet clanged. I wore no shoes, there were none to wear. I was still completely barefoot after waking up that morning. I slid back and laid out on the floor. Xiomara, Connie, and Marin worried over me. Renée and Suzi fluttered back and forth from the cabinets to the table laying out breakfast.

“Did that help?” worried Marin.

“No,” I dragged the tears beginning in my eyes across my cheeks, “I’ll be fine.”

I winced as I took my feet. Xiomara took my hand and walked me to the table. There were enough chairs today. Xiomara settled on my lap. I squeezed her and laid my head on her shoulder.

“I hate flakes,” Grumbled Hannah as she chewed her breakfast.

“There’s Ohs,” I referred to the bowl Suzi had laid out for me.

“Ew,” Hannah took another slow spoonful.

“OK,” I shrugged. Xiomara lifted my head. She gave me a smile before she lifted herself off my lap and sat on the stool next to me.

It felt lonely. The eight person table seating eight people. Xiomara and I had our backs to the showers. Marin and Suzi had their backs to the lockers. Renée and Connie had their backs to the beds and Andrea and Hannah had their backs to the kitchenette. My bowl was soon empty.

“Is anyone else going to leave?” I asked laying my spoon down into the crumb speckled puddle of milk in my bowl.

“You said we couldn’t,” Andrea spoke up. Her voice disappearing as she murmured, “You said we were yours.”

“He was being a man,” Connie reached over and squeezed Andrea’s shoulder.

“He’s our man,” Xiomara told the room giving me the same shoulder squeeze. I couldn’t help the way I smiled. I couldn’t help breaking eye contact and blushing. I tried to rally and sit up straight again. Marin was watching me with cold blue eyes.

“I’m not leaving,” She announced.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Suzi seconded. It was silent for a few minutes. Renée looked to Connie but the black cheerleader was unwaveringly strong. Hannah’s fingers drummed on the table.

“We have to be here for Zoë,” Xiomara rubbed my arm, “She’s coming home.”

“What if Pat comes back?” Hannah asked.

“This is our home,” I tried reinforcing Xiomara’s point but I didn’t believe it, “I want her here.”

“You’re just greedy,” Hannah pouted.

I looked around the room. I had to take four big heavy breaths to keep my voice steady. I looked into Renée’s eyes. They appeared steady, green and waiting. I smiled, as lightly as I could. She blushed and turned her eyes down, just for a moment. Connie smacked Renée’s knee with her own and the blonde girl sat up straighter and looked me in the eye.

“It’s not greed,” I turned back to Hannah, “You’re mine. I want to look out for you. I want you to know you’re cared for.”

“OK,” She nodded, “But, but we care for you. We have to look out for you!”

“Yeah,” I nodded, “I’ve never been in better hands.”

She blushed. I took another heavy breath. Andrea was swinging her legs and stirring a half uneaten bowl of soggy Ohs. I reached over and took Xiomara’s hand and Marin’s hand.

“Now, I’d like to take a shower.”

“Dean, I--” Xiomara murmured, “I should help clean up. I didn’t help and--”

“We’ll make the beds,” Connie volunteered Renée, “Suzi and Hannah will clear the table.”

“But, what about me?” Andrea feared, “I’m not ready to get in a shower with Dean.”

“I want you to get a notepad and some pens,” I had an idea and she gave me an opening. I gestured to the lockers, “We need to make sure there’s a sign for Zoë to find us.”

“For Kia to find her way home?” Andrea asked.

“Pat. I mean and Pat,” I stammered, “You might want to lay out some clothes for us too.” I stood up and started towards the shower. Marin skipped up to my side. I had to readjust my grip on Xiomara’s hand. She moved in closer when I knitted our fingers. I smiled. She looked over at Marin.

“Can I have him to myself?” She begged, “Just for this morning.”

Marin was missing her light smattering of freckles. Out of all the girls, she was the only one I thought of us as cuter back home. She was fitter here. We all were. Back home she was just a bit softer, on her upper arms, on her butt, on her stomach. There was something missing and her freckles represented that. It was the fun, she still flirted, she still joked, but she was missing that je ne sais quoi she had in art class. It made me look harder at her. Made me really appreciate the details down to the devil himself. I looked into her deep blue eyes.

“You normally wear contacts,” I recognized. She leaned in and kissed my cheek.

“Treat X nicely,” She pulled back from my fingers and stared me down.

“Um, I will,” I answered after a moment.

I led Xiomara to the showers. Andrea dashed over and laid three towels on the nearest sink.

“Just give me a second before you take your clothes off,” She hurried, “Are jeans OK for today?”

“Yes, go on,” I smiled, “You can wait until it’s discreet to peak.”

Andrea skidded on her bare feet a few paces away.

“You’ve been peeking!” She blushed and Xiomara shook her head.

“No, he’s been a good boy,” Xiomara promised, “He just noticed that not all of us have been good girls.”

“I have,” Andrea whispered and ran over to Marin at the clothing locker. Renée and Connie were stripping down the girls’ bed, going to replace the sheets with black ones today. Suzi was rinsing the tableware while Hannah packed away the untouched food. Everything was so simple. The missing girls really hurt.

“Hey, Xiomara,” I turned to my to be shower mate, “You’ve been a good friend for way longer than I gave you credit for.”

“What’re you talking about? I helped Zoë be so mean to you,” She blushed, “It was fun even knowing it was mean.”

“That’s what family does,” I nodded.

“Just family? So what? I’m like another sister?” She grumbled. I almost had half a breath to reply, “Oh my God! What am I getting upset about? Thank you, I’m happy to be part of your family.”

We hugged for a solid minute. I missed her smell from home. Her soap. Her shampoo. Not scentless nameless alien brand.

“Can I--Can I talk to you about sex?” I took a deep breath. Andrea was just about back. She had jeans for the both of us, white boxer shorts for me and pink panties for Xiomara. Xiomara blushed and quickly pulled her clothes out of Andrea’s hands flipping them over so I couldn’t see her underwear. Marin came over with black t-shirts for the both of us.

“Why are you going to talk about sex?” Andrea asked, “Are you two planning on getting together? I thought as much,” She seemed a little lonely in her smile, “You’ll make a cute couple.”

“I, uh,” I smiled, “Um, I’d like to talk to you about sex too, Andrea.” I said so while looking at Marin. She nodded slightly.

“Um, why? Is it about the privacy thing,” Andrea looked around, “I mean it’s weird but, if you two like each other, I’m sure we’ll find a way to deal with it.”

“Sweetheart,” Xiomara shook her head. I noticed a tear or two form in Xiomara’s eyes. I smiled to Andrea.

“Let me talk to Xiomara first,” I asked.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Andrea reached over and grabbed Xiomara’s elbow, “Be good to him.”

Marin rolled her eyes and followed Andrea to the gaming locker. That’s where the stationary was. I looked to Xiomara. I had seen her naked, just yesterday in the box. It was seared into my mind and yet more fleeting than memories of back home. I had seen Xiomara, her light golden brown skin, across the toilets, through two panes of fogging glass. I had had Connie, Suzi, and Marin to join me. I grinned at Xiomara.

“Let’s talk in the shower, please?” I had rushed out of bed interfering with our little schedule. No one had peed; no one had cleaned up. We were dressed in our basic sleepwear. I normally wore a pair of pajama pants and nothing else. I had added a light t-shirt out of personal embarrassment and trying to be kind to the girls. Xiomara had, day one, woken up in a t-shirt and boy shorts. She was now wearing a white opaque nightie. Her knees peeked out from under the lacy hem. She and Suzi were the only ones wearing something more revealing than morning one. I smiled, broadly as she lifted it off over her head.