Chapter 21

When I woke again, it was because the light was suddenly flicked on. I flinched, but lay still, my eyes still closed. I could hear Beck and Lana moving around the room as they got dressed and I sighed, figuring that sleeping was done for now. I’d slept well, but as always, the dreams were there. I finally sat up and ran a hand through my hair.

“How’re you feeling?” Beck asked carefully, seeing me move.

I shrugged, still not sure how I felt. I ran a hand over my side and winced. “Sore,” I confirmed.

“Yeah. We found you with the ice pack on your side,” Lana said, coming to sit on the bed to take a look at it, her fingers gently touching it.

“How late did the party go on?” I asked, wanting to distract this line of discussion as quickly as I could.

“It was about midnight when Mom and Dad went home,” Beck supplied. I’d gone to the kitchen just after 10, so I figured the party had lasted another hour or so and then cleanup.

I nodded and slid out of bed and grabbed my robe to go get showered. I took my time in there, using the solitude to think. Should I let it slide or should I tell everyone how I felt. It was a tricky situation. Patty knew I was aware that the party wasn’t a surprise, but she thought I’d had a delightful time last night. I hoped everyone did.

By the time I was done in the shower, the house was empty and I knew they’d be next door at breakfast. I got dressed slowly, the incision still tender and sore from last night’s exertion. When I was presentable, I started looking around the room and couldn’t find my phone or my wallet. I knew my mother had them and wondered if she was holding them on suspicion that I was supremely pissed.

I sighed and climbed the stairs slowly, taking my cane, but leaning on it less to take pressure off the searing pain in my side.

I knew that if the phone was here, it was upstairs. I could call it from the house phone, but better to just ask for it back.

I closed the door behind me and crossed the lawn on a diagonal to get around the fence. When I opened the door, the conversation cut off and all heads turned to look at me. I looked back and I knew that I’d been the topic of conversation.

“By all means,” I said, “please continue. What’s the morning’s topic of conversation? Last night’s party or my condition this morning?”

“A little of both,” Mom said lightly.

I took a seat at the empty seat and winced a little at the movement this caused in my side. “And which topic is winning?” I asked.

“The girls were telling us that they found you passed out sideways across the bed with an ice pack on your side,” Patty said, getting up to get another plate from the kitchen and filling it for me.

I nodded in confirmation. “That is the last thing I remember from last night.” I leaned back, still groggy from the painkillers. I probably could have gone back to sleep, but other than a slice of cake, I hadn’t eaten anything since Friday. I had someone to thank for that oversight. I just wasn’t sure whose feet to lay that blame at.

“Why didn’t you say anything last night?” Mom asked, exasperated.

“After all the work that went into it?” I asked. “That would have been a cheery event. ‘SURPRISE!’ ‘Fuck off! I’m going to bed.’ After everyone spent all day yesterday and the girls planned it for two days, I wasn’t about to piss in the chips.”

“Who told?!” Beck looked around the room accusingly.

“I figured it out days ago when you all stopped showing up at the hospital,” I told her gently. “I went from having seven or eight people a day visiting to having the staff feel sorry for me overnight.”

Mom didn’t look particularly happy with the way I was handling this, but I wasn’t particularly thrilled with how I’d been handled the last few days. I’d kept it together last night for all the reasons I told Dr. Spencer.

“Look, the bottom line is that last night was important to you,” I said, looking around the table. “Last week was hard on all of you and you needed a project to focus on and a party to let loose. I wasn’t about to rampage through the middle of that or tell you I wasn’t up to it. I hung on as long as I could and took a painkiller and an ice-pack when I couldn’t stand it any more.”

“And you’re telling us now because?” Patty asked, putting a plate of sausage and eggs in front of me and a glass of juice.

“I’m telling you because I had a shitty week too and I don’t want it to drag out and poison next week too,” I said.

“We know,” she said. “We were all there.”

“No you weren’t,” I countered with a shake of my head, “and that’s the point. I noticed the girls missing days ago. I kept getting told to drop it or someone changed the subject. I caught on and realized that I wasn’t going to see them until they were done with what they were planning for last night. Yesterday though. That was a miserable day. Can anyone guess why?”

Mom looked chagrined. “I forgot the time. I was supposed to pick you up in the afternoon and lost track of the time.”

I nodded. “Who else failed the time-management challenge yesterday?”

There were blank stares. They didn’t realize yet. “Patty, what was for lunch yesterday?” I asked casually and the blood drained out of her face.

“Oh my God! I was helping the girls with the cake. I completely forgot!” she looked mortified.

I nodded. “So after being cut off from my girls for days, I missed all three meals yesterday and the only person who remembered to stop in to see me was Donald. I felt pretty cruddy by the time I picked up the phone to find out why no one had come to bring me home. In fact, I was SO upset that Dr. Spencer gave me her after hours number in case I couldn’t handle it. I know you all worked really hard to make last night a success and I appreciate all the effort you went to and love you all for wanting to do it, but I got lost in the shuffle and it took a lot out of me to keep up with it last night. Not just physically, but emotionally too. I felt really hurt yesterday. I’m sorry if that sounds selfish of me. I don’t want to be selfish about it. I just wanted to clear the air and tell you how I felt.”

I lowered my head and turned my attention to my plate, eating real food finally. I cleaned the plate and realized that conversation hadn’t started up again. They were still looking at me.

I grimaced. “Look, Last time I sat at this table, everyone tells me that I ran from the problem. Yesterday that was a really tempting option. I could have called Donald and hid out at his place for a few days. I decided not to do that. Instead, I waited for Mom to come get me. Last night I found out that Beck and Lana didn’t even know about the study Dr. Spencer wants me to be part of. That was kind of important and it’s been happening over the last few days since she had me take that test. I’m not trying to make everyone feel bad and I’m sorry because clearly I am. I’m just trying not to make the same mistakes again. First I bottled everything up until I exploded and then the second time, I ran away from the problem rather than face it head on.”

Still no response. I grimaced and nodded. “I’ll go so you can talk. I’ll be next door.”

I got up and walked to the door, trying not to lean on my cane as I walked.

“Matt?” Lana said softly from the table. “Please don’t go. Come and sit with us.”

I stopped and looked at them. They were all still watching me. “No one else seems to be saying anything,” I pointed out, but I didn’t leave.

“You’ve given everyone a lot to think about, son,” Dan said quietly. “Come on. Have a seat. It may take some time, but we’ll get it solved.”

I nodded and felt a little better, knowing that there was some promise to talk it out.

I sat back down at the table and winced again as the incision re-positioned. “I don’t think there’s really anything to solve,” I said after a few minutes of silence. “I’m not telling you that this needs fixing. It was a random congruence of events that likely will never repeat. I’m just pointing out that I got moved to the bottom of the deck. If I’d been home where I could have fended for myself for entertainment or meals, it would have been a non-issue. I guess I should have been clearer to everyone how important those things were and I owe you all an apology for that too. I’m sorry I took you for granted.”

“Stop apologizing, Matt,” Mom said. “We forgot you at the hospital. You had to beg to find out why you weren’t being visited. I can’t believe I left you in the food court after missing three meals.” She looked almost as shocked as Patty at what had happened.

“Like I said, it was a terrible week for all of us. Last night was the pressure vent you all needed. It was important and necessary and did more good for you than any of us can probably pin-point. It just took on a life of its own.”

“Between everyone getting wrapped up in the party last night and us having Lilly’s do-over for her sleep-over on Friday night, we just got drowned in the details,” Dan said softly. “I think we’re all sorry that we left you high and dry in our own way.”

That got a lot of nods. I felt uncomfortable about it, but I said thanks.

“I feel kind of terrible because we all had that chat with Dr. Spencer about helping lower the stress at home and then the first thing we did was to raise it,” Beck said. “I wish you’d said something.”

“Everyone worked so hard to keep me in the dark, I didn’t even know for sure what you had planned until I opened the front door. I figured it was a surprise party of some kind, but I couldn’t say anything about it and looking back on it, I shouldn’t have said anything about it ahead of time. Like I said, you’ve all been under a lot of stress this week. I don’t want to point fingers. A lot went wrong. It’s in the past now.”

I looked around the table, catching everyone’s eye and getting a nod, if reluctantly from the mothers. I knew they’d try something to make it up to me. I’d address that if and when it came up.

“I want to hear more about this study you’re part of,” Lana said when we’d gone around the table.

“Dr. Spencer sent my test results to a Dr. Saddler at Harvard and he’s asking for a grant from the school to study how it is that I do what I can do. They want to meet me on Monday to confirm the tests and conduct some themselves. If they’re suitably impressed, I’m going to be taking some limited courses from the school as part of the study on how my brain is processing information. Dr. Spencer said the study will last at least five years and I’ll probably have a college degree or more by the time it’s done. I may have the chance to take summer courses. It’s possible that I could have a full college degree before I finish high school if I focus the courses or I could end up with a couple of different degrees by the time I’ve been out of high school for a year.”

“Really? College?” Lilly said, sounding a little disgusted. “You’re not a big enough nerd now?”

That got a little bit of laughter, but there was still a lot of tension in the air from the previous topic.

I shrugged. “It’s not a sure thing yet. I have to go before the grants board tomorrow for a comprehensive demonstration. Then they’ll decide whether the study is worth the grant money.”

“So you’re just going to skip high school?” Lana said, incredulous.

“No, Dr. Spencer said she thought that would do me more harm than good, but I’d be able to burn through the course material in high school so fast that I’d be bored by the second week of classes. Instead, they want to add in coursework that won’t require me to be physically in class to participate. They’ll record the lectures and I’ll be able to access them online. Those will take the usual amount of time to complete and the reading I can do along with the high school courses. That’ll keep me from getting bored and disruptive, but keep me in high school where I’m still with people my own age. Dr. Spencer is staying on to monitor my mental and emotional health and I guess Dr. Saddler is running the project other than that.”

“That’s freaky,” Beck said. “I just thought you were going to keep seeing Dr. Spencer because of what happened. How many courses are you going to do?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. I guess they’ll probably have me start with one and add courses based on what I can handle. If I can handle two and still get bored with the amount of downtime, then maybe three. If I can handle that, maybe four or a full course load.”

“That’s fucked-up,” Lilly declared to general agreement.

I shrugged. “Tell me about it,” I said. “I could go to my high school graduation with my college degree in my free hand. That’s kind of the epitome of fucked-up.”

“What were you thinking of trying to study?” Dan asked, curiously. “It sounds like you’ve got a lot to choose from. Which direction are you thinking for a start?”

“I’m not sure,” I admitted. “Originally, I hadn’t thought about anything more than learning a bunch of languages and working on a degree that would let me work as a translator. Now, I have a chance to hang Harvard on my wall and go into a career at 18 or continue with school and piece together two or even three degrees in different fields or run the gauntlet to PhD in one field. I suppose I should talk to a career counselor of some kind to get a sense of what direction I should turn.”

“Well, you’ve always had an interest in literature and philosophy,” Mom suggested. “Those are fields you could start into.”

I shrugged. “I’ll talk to Dr. Saddler tomorrow. I’m sure he has some ideas.”

That pretty much killed the conversation at that point. The decision was in the hands of the board tomorrow. I kind of expected to have to read a piece for them and then answer questions about the material. After breakfast, we all broke up and I was surprised that Lilly followed Patty to the kitchen to help with dishes and cleaning up.

“Sleep-over get out of hand?” I asked, remembering that Lilly was sentenced to two more weeks of chores if she overbooked her party.

“No,” Mom said. “She’s just helping out a lot more. All the girls are.”

“Cool. Once I’ve had a chance to recover, I’ll pitch in too,” I said.

Mom shook her head. “I think we’re gonna give you a little free time to decompress. You pointed out that we all needed that party last night. You were right. Now it’s your turn. We need to give you a chance to let off some steam.”