Chapter 17

The first thing I was aware of was sound. I was surrounded in darkness and I tried to feel my way, but there was no sense of direction, no point of reference, so I stopped and listened. At first, there was only the sound of my breathing, the slow rasp of my breath in and out. I concentrated on it. The sound was all that I had to go by for a long time. Then I couldn’t hear it any more. That confused me, but it was a distant thought. After all, it wasn’t like I’d stopped breathing.

As soon as the thought occurred to me, something else invaded my consciousness. A bright flash and loud sound that I couldn’t identify. I got the sense that something had changed and I reeled, off-balance. All was blackness, so I couldn’t be certain whether I’d tripped or even been sent sprawling by something unseen. The sound repeated again and the blackness was replaced for a moment by bright whiteness. I could make no sense of anything and I resigned myself to collapsing to the ground until the flashes stopped. But as soon as I threw out my hand, reaching to feel for the ground beneath me, a third flash stunned me again and I wasn’t sure whether I was reaching in the right direction any more.

The third flash was mercifully the last. They’d left me shaking and wanting to cringe against the next one, but they were replaced by the slow sound of my breathing again. My ears were working, so it seemed. My eyes were processing the flashes. That gave me hope. I tried to puzzle out how I’d ended up here, wherever ‘here’ was. I remembered a pleasant dinner and conversation, though none of the words would come to me. I was there with people I knew and people I didn’t. The dinner was important. I was meeting ... someone.

Thoughts were difficult and elusive. I wished someone were there with me. I was alone here. I knew that much but not much else. I tried calling out and thought I could hear my own voice, it seemed too small, like the sound waves were bleeding off rather than carrying my voice like they should.

I had the thought that I should enjoy it and take the chance to get some sleep. It was dark and I was comfortable. It seemed like the best thing to do. I was tired. A lot had happened. I was so tired. It was so hard to go on and it was so comfortable here. I could just stay here. It was nice. There was nothing to bother me. No worries, no cares, no pain.

That last disturbed me. Why would I think about pain? Suddenly, sleeping didn’t seem like as good an idea. I felt like laying down would be bad. I couldn’t say why, but I knew that something bad would happen if I did.

That’s when I started to listen. I needed to get back. ‘Get back where?’ I asked myself. They were waiting for me. ‘Who?’ I needed to leave here. I couldn’t see, but that was a matter of light, not a problem with my eyes. I could hear and I listened hard, straining for any hint that would lead me where I had to go.

Then I heard it. It wasn’t a voice or even a sound really. It was a rumble that I felt as much as heard, but I could follow it. As I went, I noticed that it was clearer. It would come and go and when it would stop for a time, I would stop and wait. I felt like it was bringing me back to where I could find my own way.

I knew it was a voice, but I couldn’t hear it clearly enough. There was something about it that drew me. I heard other murmurs from time to time, but this one was different, special. It resonated. I could feel it pulling me along. It felt good to hear that voice.