Chapter 24

“Remember ... a gentleman never tells. Be good to your sister. She’s going to visit you regularly. Only decent men ... you hear me?” Those words are going to haunt me ... I just know it.

“College huh?” I asked, “What dorm?”

“Ross ... same as you,” she said.

“What floor?”

“Third ... you’re on five,” she said.

“Where’s your things?”

“Daddy has them,” she said.

“Where is daddy?”

“Third car back,” she said. “You don’t pay attention to your mirrors, do you?”

Oh god, the shame ... escorted to university ... like a prisoner from the jail to Jackson.

“Left.”

“What?”

“Left on Clark. Daddy showed me a shortcut.”

“Grace ... one of daddy’s shortcuts?” I said. “You know he gets lost at the drop of a hat.”

“David James Austin! Shame on you,” she said, “My daddy doesn’t get lost.”

“Yeah ... he explores,” I said.

It’s true ... he has gotten us into the strangest places looking for “that fishing hole.” Or the old car he remembers from his youth. He even has a bumper sticker... I’m Not Lost ... I’m Exploring

“Left on Clark, David. Be nice to your sister.” She looked the Mom look ... you know. Over the glasses but down the nose ... yeah ... that one.

To insure domestic tranquility ... I turned left on Clark Road. Grace folded her hands in her lap and looked smug.

“Right on Chandler.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah ... I did it.

“Chandler turns into Abbott Road,” she said.

It did ... more smugness.

“Straight across Grand,” she directed.

Well ... what do you know ... The Union ... Registration.

But we didn’t stop...”Left on Circle. Three buildings ... stop. Ross. Go find us a cart, David.”

There was a line for the carts ... it was patrolled. It really didn’t take long ... it was very orderly. I was not the only guy with parents. Suddenly I wasn’t so ashamed.

I got back with a cart. All my things were sitting by the curb. My Dodge was parked in the lot ... Grace and Daddy were unloading the station wagon ... Grace’s junk.

I will admit she pitched right in ... and her jeans did hug her butt like a second skin. I will also admit that I took offense when some of the males also noticed that tight bottom.

Third East ... girls ... girls ... girls ... and more girls ... one hundred and thirty brand new Freshman Girls ... and not a single one of them looked as good as Grace.

I passed the cart on to the next guy in line and started to handle the mess my room was in when daddy said, “Pizza.”

I was ravenous. I didn’t know I was THAT hungry.

“No anchovies,” said Grace.

The four of us ... Dad, Mom, Grace and I ... loaded up in the wagon ... headed west to Abbot ... right on Grand and several miles later we were one family among the many parking at the Il Forno. There was a line at the door. Daddy took us to the back ... to the kitchen ... where we were greeted with open arms, cheek bussing and much Italian. Daddy was known. We were seated at the kitchen booth ... and stuffed. Grace and mom had no anchovies. Daddy and I had the The House Special featuring salty little fish ... and everything except the sink. It was marvelous ... and free. Daddy was known. That should be KNOWN but there was no mention of why.

“David ... you drive,” Daddy said. The three of them were in the bag. Even Grace. Grace is funny drunk. Mom sings ... opera. Her pronunciation is off ... but so is she.

Of the 35,000 students, 10,000 were freshmen ... almost exactly split 50/50.

I had a double room as a single. It cost more ... but ... evidence has proven ... I snore.

Grace had a suite ... two rooms with a study between. She had a roommate ... three suite mates ... her roommate and two girls in the other bedroom. There were twelve Suites to a pod and four pods to a quad ... plus there was a single as a single on either end of her pod. Four quads to a floor. Each suite has a small kitchen and a four person bathroom.

We poured Grace in her bed and I took Mom and Dad to the hotel across the street from the Capital Building. I had a trundle-bed.

Whoopee.

I had the extreme privilege of listening to Daddy seduce Mommy ... yuck.

Or maybe it was mom seducing dad ... she was doing a lot of giggling.

In the morning ... I was delivered to my dorm.

Grace showed up for lunch with her three suite mates. Which made the men on my floor extremely inquisitive.

Grace had yet to start her rumors. I was eyed as a “possible.”

I could hardly wait to get back to Chaos.