Chapter 17

The rules for Heroes say... Bring her back. Her being your assignment as agreed upon by you and your Hero Caretaker.

The exceptions:
Pregnant; can’t bring an expectant mother through the portals.
Dead; if she’s dead and it’s your fault ... that’s a problem. Dead by natural causes? We’ll already know.
By force; she doesn’t want to come and is free to tell you that without outside pressure.

What about Murphy?

A Murphy: There is always something.

Dirt Pile is a Murphy.

“Lookit,” I said. “I can’t take you back. I have to get Eloise. If I take you back. I can’t come through the Portal for three weeks. (I could. But, I didn’t know that. [Murphy; that’s a Murphy. I didn’t know is a Murphy.]) The only thing I can come up with is that you come with me.”

“Heck.” She popped out a very full and shapely breast. “You sure?”

“Yup! Duty over pleasure every time.”

She tweaked a nipple and it stood up.

“You should put that away ... someone might see ... hit me over the head ... and find out later you’re a cockburner.”

“Oops!”

“The other thing ... I’m trying to be reasonably stealthy ... clean you up and every man on the planet will be trying for the brass ring. So ... you need to be the ragpile for a bit longer.”

“Brass ring?”

“Earth toy ... I guess ... lemesee.” I thought about it and then said, “A carousel, or merry-go-round, is a type of amusement park ride, consisting of a rotating circular platform with seats for riders. The “seats” are traditionally in the form of rows of carved wooden horses or other animals mounted on posts, many of which are moved up and down by gears to simulate galloping, often to the accompaniment of a mechanical musical band.

“There is one not too far from my home.

“Part of the thrill of the ride is a box that dispenses brass rings that can be exchanged for another ride. A rider has to stick a finger in the ring and pull it out of the box. Certain rides will exchange the won ring for money.”

“Got it,” she said. “Sounds like fun.”

“You can break a finger trying to win the ring ... so it’s dangerous,” I said.

“You ... cleaned up ... are the brass ring and all sorts of men will be trying to grab the prize.”

“I see,” she said, “So I get to be the boy holding the horses?”

“Yup.”

“I can do that. I’ve been doing it for years and nobody caught me.”

“What? You’re intact?”

“Hell, yes.”

“This is going to be interesting.”