Butlered!
Copyright© 2016 by Gordon Johnson
Chapter 7
The valuer returned, “Exactly what I was thinking! My mind is wondering whether there are tiles behind this wood panelling. Having expensive tiles in the basement only makes sense to my mind if the upper corridor were similarly tiled to at least the same standard.”
I excused myself for a couple of minutes while I phoned for the planned pickup of our valuer. The Jeeves on the other end promised to be there in about half an hour.
I returned to Mister valuer and told him when he would be collected. Next, I sat him in the office by the vestibule and gave him a mug of coffee and some biscuits while I reported to Mr Dawes.
“Sir, Mister valuer has completed as much as he was able, but I now have an odd request to make. Can we have a joiner call to remove some of the wood panelling on both the upstairs and downstairs corridor? I expect to discover some good news, if the basement is anything to go by.”
“A very odd request indeed, Jeeves. You think it is worth the cost and effort?”
“Based on what Mister valuer and I are thinking, worthwhile indeed, sir.”
“Make enquiries, Jeeves, for a local joiner to do what you say, with the expectation of replacing the extracted panelling afterwards. Let me know what the estimate is.”
“I shall attend to that, sir.”
I consulted the local telephone directory and selected what appeared to be a competent joiner, Robert Young. Speaking to the joiner himself, who was speaking with his mouth still chewing – he was clearly at home having his evening meal – he was willing to come along to see for himself what was wanted, and give the quote then. We fixed a time for him to call the next day, just after lunch.
I was at the tradesmen’s’ door to meet him when he knocked.
“Mr. Young?” I enquired.
“Yes. You must be Mr. Jeeves.”
“That is so. Welcome. Allow me to escort you to where we have our query.”
I took him through to the ground floor corridor, and explained that a similar corridor existed on the next floor of the building.
“Hmm.” He was non-committal. “Where did you want panelling off, and to what extent?”
I showed him. “This first doorway has panelling up to and against the door jamb. We only require enough of a sight to determine whether there are tiles below, and if so, what tiles?”
“The same upstairs?”
“Yes.”
“I need to have sight of that, too, in case the panelling is different. Could be so, if they were not both done at the one time.”
“I see. Then allow me to show you the corridor upstairs.”
We went up a floor, and Mr. Young examined the woodwork there. “Seems to be identical. Very dark. Let me guess: 1901?”
“I would agree. The dark wood stain suggested that possibility. What do you think, having seen the woodwork?”
“The work was well done in 1901. The panelling is very neatly put together, which may mean it will be easy to remove. Probably needs a first piece levered off, for access to the rest. There is a facing above the doorway that I would guess is keeping the rest in position. If I remove that, more panelling should become easy to lever out. I suspect some battens underneath, to secure the panelling to the wall. It will mean much more time putting it all back than taking it out. I would use new nails or screws, depending on what was used originally. The old ones will be too worn or rusted.
A couple of hundred for the total job, I think, perhaps two fifty, tops, assuming none of it breaks and has to be replaced. If there IS damage, replacing sections of wood, to the right colour, could be time-consuming. Assuming the worst, let us say five hundred.”
“Thank you, Mr. Young. If you can sit in the office by the vestibule, I shall seek approval for your engagement. Coffee suit you?” He agreed with alacrity. “Good coffee you have here, Mr. Jeeves.”
While he sipped his coffee, I sought out Dawes. I knocked on his office door, and when he called “enter!” I went in.
“Sir, the joiner estimates a minimum of 250 pounds and a maximum of 500, depending on whether any of the wood breaks and has to be replaced.”
He grunted. “I would be interested in knowing what is behind the panelling, anyway. Tell him to go ahead, Jeeves. Can he do the stripping now, or will he have to come back?”
“I shall enquire, sir.” I backed out and went back to Mr. Young.
“Can you do the stripping now, or are you short of time?”
He pondered. “I have a job that needs doing in the workshop, but if I can phone, I can have my apprentice working on that until I get back.” He fished out a mobile phone, looking at me for approval.”
“Please do, Mr. Young.”
He keyed his own number, and spoke to someone in his workshop, explaining that he would be delayed for a while. Closing his call, he gestured. “Right, let’s get to it.”
He had to go out to his car to collect the tools he needed. He carried in a heavy metal toolbox, to my surprise. “Don’t you have a plastic toolbox, much lighter?”
“Doesn’t stand up to wear and tear, sir. This one is a toughie, and I am used to its weight. Let’s have a look at the first doorway.”
Getting to the site, he asked if we had a wooden chair, or a stool, that he could stand on without causing damage. I remembered there was a step stool in the kitchen, and fetched it for him. That allowed him to get to the wooden strip above the door, and start levering it off, very gently.
With that safely off, he was able to examine the remainder from the edges, and worked out where best to apply leverage to start puling out a nail. As soon as that started, he tapped the wood enough to spring the head of the nail, and with his claw hammer, he had that nail out in a jiffy.
That got him to the next nail, and on from there. I wondered what the nail went into; if it was into the tiles underneath, it would be a bummer. However, he revealed that the wood panelling was attached to a frame that was fixed onto the wall at top and bottom, avoiding the tiles. There were several connecting battens, top to bottom, and that plus the top and bottom frame was what the panelling was nailed to.
Mr Young apologised, saying, “I can only take off a little of the panelling here, or else we will end up with a major section coming off. You said you wanted to look at tiles underneath. Can you see them enough for your purposes, Mr. Jeeves?”
I had learned from the valuer, and had a small torch ready for this task. We looked behind the woodwork, and this confirmed that the door had flanking tile panels before changing to plain white tiles. There ought to be more to be found, but this was enough to confirm our valuer’s conjecture, at least for this floor.
I photographed what could be seen. At my request, we now abandoned the site and moved upstairs to the next floor. He had his toolbox, so I carried the step stool. Picking a doorway at random, I asked our joiner to do a similar revelation for us.
The work provided proof that both corridors were lined with tiles, and that the doorways had decorative tile panels up each side. I was pleased to note that while each floor had a “flower and foliage” theme, the panels were different on each floor, and differed also from the basement, being more flamboyant in character.
I used my digital camera to take shots of the panels as best I could. I next asked the joiner to take coffee while I sought advice from the client.
“Mr. Dawes?”
“Yes, Jeeves?”
“Under the wood panelling, there is tiling, mostly white, but with vertical panels down the edge of each doorway. The panels are a little different from those in the basement, but similar in design. If what is under the remainder of the corridor matches what we have exposed, then each corridor’s tiles have a value of in excess of twenty thousand pounds.”
His eyes lit up with greed. I went on with my report.
“I have taken digital photographs of what has been exposed, for you to see.”
I produced my camera to him, and he viewed the images, grunting his pleasure at the sight. I now needed a decision from him. This was going well.
“Sir? Do you want the joiner to replace those sections of wood panelling, or alternatively strip it all off?”
“Strip it all off, Jeeves! I want to see all of what we have, hidden behind woodwork. This is a real discovery!”
“I shall speak to the joiner immediately, to determine when he can deal with it, sir. I presume time is of the essence in the matter?”
“It is. Get to it, man.”
I returned to Mr Young and his smile of comfort as his coffee warmed him further. Each corridor had only one radiator, coming up from the floor, and the setting was a low one, as corridors do not have to be very warm. The basement had none. Staff did not merit such inbuilt luxuries.
“Mr Young, the master wishes the entire corridor panelling stripped off and the plaster made good where necessary, as soon as is practicable. Are you able to suggest a price and time for that work?”
“Mr. Jeeves, you are a man after my own heart. Quick decisions, indeed. Let me see.” I could see his mind working out the calculations. “Most of the cost is time. Do you want the resulting wood removed by me, or do you have a wood-burning stove that could dispose of it usefully?”
“I do believe there is such a stove in the basement, at one end of the corridor. It was probably installed for emergency heating, many years back, or for staff use in the winter. You could use the redundant coal cellar to store the wood, and come the winter, if I am still in this employment, I could have that stove working for me. I think its chimney goes out through the wall behind it; I must check to see if it is still viable, in case it has been stopped up.”
“Right. If we leave the wood downstairs with you, that cuts some costs. I can’t predict how much plaster or mortar might crumble while we are removing the framework, so I have to allow for the worst case. I am guessing at two days for me and my apprentice, at thirty pounds an hour per person to cover all staff costs, for two days at 7 hours per day. Allow another ten pounds for materials, roughly, and that makes it eight hundred and fifty pounds as a guesstimate. We could do it over the next couple of days, if I reschedule a couple of smaller jobs I have on the books. Do you want to clear that with your boss, or does he want a proper written estimate?”
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