Chapter 22

“I am about to ring the company, sir, to make such an arrangement.”

“Right. Permission granted for her to go with you. She will be safe with you, but you might not be safe with her, Jeeves. You can take the car to the station, by the way, as she is with you.”

“Thank you, sir. I am aware of all possibilities, and am prepared, sir.”

“Finished, then?”

“Indeed sir. Thank you for listening. I shall get back to my duties now.”

As soon as I had the table cleared and everything put away, I phoned the Company, explaining the problem. I needn’t have worried.

“Jeeves, we shall have a female staff member to keep her company while you are otherwise occupied, and she can join us for lunch as well. It is not a problem for the company.”

Next morning started well. As soon as breakfast was over, Miss Catherine got her outdoor clothes ready, and I prepared the car for the short trip to the rail station. We got there in plenty of time for the train schedule, and we were in London with time to spare. I guided Miss Catherine – sorry, I guided Catherine on a route that passed a couple of interesting historical buildings, so she had something to gawk at as we walked.

I kept my eyes open for questionable characters as we ambled along like tourists. No-one appeared to show any offensive propensities, so it remained a pleasant walk for the pair of us. Catherine several times took my arm, possessively. I let it pass without comment.

Arriving at the company offices, Catherine expressed surprise at the minimalist décor of the arrival hall. I explained, “Catherine, our Company has no need to advertise or show off to the general public, as our clientele are self-selecting. We pride ourselves in that our offices are just that – offices, nothing unnecessarily fancy.”

“Cool.” She commented. “So what do we do now?”

“Wait for instructions.” I raised my voice, “Jeeves (Dawes) present with Miss Catherine Dawes.”

A disembodied voice responded, “Go to Room one: left side of the corridor on this floor. You will be met.”

I led Catherine into the corridor and opened the indicated door for her. We entered, and found ourselves in a comfortable waiting room. Standing there, waiting for us, was Felicity Frobisher, wearing a smart business suit.

I expressed my surprised pleasure. “Miss Frobisher! How nice to meet you again? What are you doing here?”

She responded, “I had contacted your company, looking for a job. I thought that knowing Jeeves might be a help. They asked me along for a chat this morning, and have engaged me for today to assist Miss Catherine while she is here. I suspect this is part of my examination for prospective employment!”

Catherine was delighted to encounter Felicity here. “Frobisher! How are you coping with being unemployed, dear?”

The two sat down in easy chairs and began chatting like old friends. I stood aloof until Mr. Jeeves walked in and introduced himself to Catherine.

“I have to take Jeeves away for a long chat, Miss Catherine, but Miss Frobisher will keep an eye on you, and make your stay as pleasant as possible. If time permits, we may have lunch together on the premises.”

“How nice of you to offer. And it is a great pleasure to find Miss Frobisher here as well.”

“Wonderful! I shall now escort Jeeves to the interview room, and get down to work.”

Catherine laid her hand on my arm and said, “Good luck, Jeeves!”

We exited, and moments later were in our debriefing room. I asked, “How do you want to hear from me today?”

“Just start at the beginning, and give me a summary of your time in the household. Expand only on matters which may be relevant to the company, John.”

So we sat there, and I regurgitated my exploits in the Dawes household. It took nearly an hour of talking.

Coming to the encounter in the street with the youths, I asked if that was deemed relevant, and Mr. Jeeves said it was, so I included that saga as well. By the time I had come up to date, he was frowning. I raised my eyebrows at him, and he told me, “You have gone beyond what was expected of you, Jeeves, but I cannot fault you in any of your actions. Everything you did appears to have endeared yourself to the family, which is not a bad thing.”

I wanted to know things as well. “What can you tell me about what was happening to Dawes’ assets? How much was due to you, and how much mere serendipity?”

“The spiriting away of the cash was performed by The Personalia, at our request, and the removal of the Egyptian artefacts was instigated by us, as soon as we identified them as a stolen collection. Your pictures were excellent, by the way. The follow-on at the British Museum was not done by us. Our military friends, who did the extraction of the goods as a useful training exercise, thought it would be a bit of fun with the van, and they were right about that.

The clamp-down on Dawes’ recovered funds was done by the correct authorities. All we had to do was tip them off, and they did the rest themselves. Dawes would find it difficult to get them released, we thought, but your brilliant ideas have undermined that. We can persuade the authorities to take their time over his claims, I am certain. Having the accounts solely in his name undermines his custodian claim somewhat, but we can get the financial bods to insist that the released funds be placed in the name of his wife and daughter, and not in HIS name. That will make things awkward for him.”

“Mr. Jeeves, may I point out that my inability to make a report with ease caused me some problems. I was unable to access advice when I needed it. That should merit improvement in future.”

“Pardon?” He seemed to be inattentive, then I spotted the speaker bud in one ear. He recovered. “Good idea. We will sort that out shortly.”

Mr. Jeeves had been listening to the conversation in the waiting room, and had become distracted. This is what he had been listening to, as I discovered later:

Frobisher: “What are you and Jeeves doing here today, Catherine?”

Catherine: “My Jeeves has to have a review of his work with us, so that the company can see if any improvements can be made. I volunteered for a day out in London with him to protect me. Daddy approved, and I get Jeeves to myself for most of the day.”

Frobisher: “How do you mean, to yourself?”

Catherine: “I have decided he is my boyfriend, as I have fallen for him.”

Frobisher: “But he is MY boyfriend, Catherine?”

Catherine: “Since when? I saw no signs of affection between you.”

Frobisher: “He did and said nothing in public, while on duty, but after I left, we had a discussion, and came to an understanding about the future.”

Catherine: “He didn’t commit himself for ever, did he?”

Frobisher: “No, it was an agreement for him to be my boyfriend. We haven’t got around to going further than that.”

Catherine: “So I could be his girlfriend as well?”

Frobisher: “Pardon?”

Catherine: “If he is not committed at present, he is free to be with both of us, isn’t he?”

Frobisher: “Are you trying to take him from me, young lady?”

Catherine: “Not as such. You have the prior claim on him, but I don’t see why we can’t share him.”

Frobisher: “You mean; both be his girlfriends until he decides which one he wants to be with permanently? That sounds very bad for the other girl – which may be you, Catherine!”

Catherine: “I hadn’t thought that far ahead; but if he was in love with us both, we needn’t split up.”

Frobisher: “What? You mean behave as if both of us were his wives?”

Catherine: “I don’t see why not, if you and I can get along. I would be happy as long as I was with him.”

Frobisher: “And both of us bear his children, Catherine?”

Catherine: “If we have a commitment, and honestly mean it, then why not?”

Silence while Frobisher thought, then, “All right, Catherine. Let’s see how you and I get along first, and we can take it from there.”

Catherine: “Do you have a first name, Frobisher? It would be more friendly, if we are to be friends.”

Frobisher: “I don’t like my first name, Catherine, which is why I don’t use it. Why don’t you and John see what you would like my first name to be, and if I like it, I’ll use it?”

Catherine: “John?”

Frobisher: “Oh. I stepped on my toes, there, sorry. I forced him to tell me his real name, which he would only do once I had left the household. While he is still there, you must keep calling him Jeeves. When he is no longer in your father’s employment, you can call him John.”

Catherine: “John is a nice name. I like it.”

Frobisher: “But for now, he remains Jeeves. O.K.?”

Catherine: “Can I kiss you, to show we are friends now?”

Frobisher: “You can hug me as well, in fact you should.”

Silence.

Of course, I knew nothing of this at the time. Mr. Jeeves was party to the discussion through microphones in the waiting room, but he said nothing to me. We decided we had got to a point where we should break for lunch, so we joined the ladies in the waiting room, to see about that meal.

We stepped in, and at once Frobisher came over and gave me a hug and kiss; and then Catherine came and did the same, to my surprise. I looked at them both, and got a smile in return from each of them. That didn’t help me one bit to work out what was going on.

Mr. Jeeves nonchalantly announced, “Time for lunch, ladies. You are invited to our staff canteen for lunch. You sit at a table, consult a menu, and a Jeeves in training will take your order to the chef, and serve it once prepared. As this is a training venue, there is no charge for the meal. Order whatever you like from the menu.”

Frobisher turned to Catherine. “Sounds good, doesn’t it, Catherine?”

“It does indeed. This is almost as good as being taken out to a nice restaurant with our boyfriend.”

OUR boyfriend? What the hell had happened? I need a word in private with each of these girls, a.s.a.p., but I could not do that at the moment. Lunch was awaiting.

Mr. Jeeves escorted as to the staff canteen, led us to a table with four seats, and he seated Frobisher gracefully, while I did the same for Catherine. We then took our seats, and a Jeeves appeared beside us, offering menus, first to the ladies, then to us gentlemen.

We all selected our starter and main course dish. This enable the main course preparation to start as we consumed our starter. Interestingly, our Jeeves only offered us non-alcoholic beverages, explaining that the lunches were non-alcoholic as company policy.

Mr. Jeeves was an affable host, telling the ladies humourous takes of errors in butler training; things like interrupting the client in mid-speech, correcting a client in public, and spilling a soup tureen.

“Balance is an important talent in a butler, but common sense recommends the avoidance of problems. We encourage the use of trolleys to convey meals to the table. It is easier to dispense items at the table than half a dozen feet away. Dogs can get in your way, and even small children can trip you up.”

The others laughed, and Catherine admitted, “I am the youngest child in our household. I sometimes get in the way of Jeeves doing his best, but it is deliberate on my part.”

I commented, “You did that sort of thing most delightfully, my dear.”

“I just wanted you to notice me, Jeeves; to see that I was a lovely young woman.”