Chapter 20

“No. Seriously. If the police have had other complaints, they may have investigated and identified the culprit. Would you be averse to me calling the police about the matter? If I can get Sergeant Blenkinsop, it might be handled with sympathy, Mr. Jones.”

“Well, if you feel like doing so.”

“What was the item concerned?”

It was a subscription to a group of places – gym, hotels, restaurants, that gave you ten per cent off if you were a subscriber. We just don’t ever use these places, Jeeves.”

“I see. Thank you. I shall call now, from my pantry, for privacy.”

I did so, and ask for the sergeant. This time I was lucky and he was at the station. “What can I do for you, Mr. Jeeves?”

“I am phoning on behalf of another member of staff, whose wife was dragooned on the doorstep of her home into buying a subscription to a group of establishments. The husband says they do not use, nor wish to use these places, so the sale was fraudulent and they wish to cancel. Unfortunately, the doorstep salesman is not identifiable at this time.”

“Oh, that lot? There are three salesmen on that, and they only get commission on sales, so they tend to push rather hard. I know who is behind the deal, so I can ask them to refund the lady’s money. What is her name, and when did this happen?”

“Hang on a minute, sergeant.” I hurried through to Jones, and demanded, “Your wife’s name on the cheque or credit card, and the time of the transaction?”

“Oh, Jenny. She paid by debit card; the guy wouldn’t take a credit card. It was 8.50 this morning.”

“Right.”

I went back to my phone and told the sergeant “Mrs Jenny Jones; 8.50 am, and she paid by debit card. The salesman refused a credit card transaction, sergeant.”

“I am not surprised. A debit transaction goes through immediately, so is difficult to do anything about, while a credit card payment has you covered by the card company. You can be reimbursed that way. I shall put pressure on the people involved, and have the card payment cancelled and reimbursed. Otherwise, I charge them with fraud. I have met this problem before, Mr. Jeeves. Leave it with me, and it will be sorted.”

“Many thanks, sergeant. This will boost your PR with the family involved.”

“Just doing my job, Mr. Jeeves. Bye.”

I reported to Jones, “Mr. Jones, the sergeant is on to it. He assures me that the transaction will be cancelled and your wife’s payment reimbursed to your account.”

“By God, that was quick, Jeeves. You have an “in” with the cops, I see.”

“I merely allowed them to use their influence on the body that is running these salesmen. The threat of a fraud charge from the police works wonders at times!”

“You are a wonder, Jeeves. Thanks, man.”

“I am not as perfect as you imagine, Mr. Jones. For example, only yesterday I discovered that Mrs. Dawes is on her second marriage, and her boys are from that marriage, so I have no idea what surname they use. It is distressing to be lost for a name. I feel so stupid.”

“Oh, I knew about her first marriage, to Tom Brighton. The boys kept their father’s surname, as they were used to it. Mr. Dawes had no objection, I understand.”

“Thank you, Mr. Jones. You see, you are a wonder as well, being able to help me avoid seeming stupid. If either of these boys came through the door today, I would now be able to address them with confidence as ‘Mr. Brighton’.”

Jones puffed himself up with pride. “Glad to have been able to help you, Mr. Jeeves. Any time.”

I went back to my pantry and opened my phone again. I called The Personalia, and a voice at once answered, “Hello, Mr. Jeeves. How may we help you?”

“I have established that Mrs. Dawes’s first husband was surnamed Brighton. I have his forename as Tom, so presumably Thomas is the exact forename, but Brighton is uncommon enough to make your search easier.”

“We agree. Thank you and goodbye.”

Well, that was short and sweet, I told myself. But of course there was no need for inconsequential chit-chat. These are machine minds, not human beings.

It was near lunch time when Dawes summoned me. I attended his presence, saying “You wished to see me, sir?”

“Yes, Jeeves. Jones informs me that you got him to examine the listening devices from the car, and it seems he pointed out to you a number stamped on the interior of the casing of the transmitter. Is this an accurate summation?”

“Indeed it is, sir.”

“Well? Is that the end of it? It would not be like you if it was, Jeeves, now, would it?”

“That is so, sir. I enquired of some contacts as to what the number might relate, and they are working on it. The lack of a company name on the casing means it is much more difficult to identify the particular manufacturer of the unit.”

“Unfortunate. So that’s it, is it? No result?”

“No result as yet, sir. The number led them to the manufacturer of the casing, but that firm sold their casings to other firms that used them for their own purposes. There is as yet no definitive solution to the problem, but indications that are being followed up. I should get a phone call if there is a successful conclusion, sir.”

“That’s more like it, Jeeves. I have come to expect a lot from you, young man. You are worth every penny of your salary. I can tell you, in confidence, that the bank’s insurers have come up with a reasonable compensation amount, and that will be in my hands shortly, so your salary is covered, Jeeves.”

“I trust the bank will be able to guarantee better care for that sum, sir?”

“They have come up trumps this time, Jeeves. They are putting my money into a numbered account, so that only I and a particular official at the bank will have the code to access the account. I think we are okay now, Jeeves.”

“Yes, sir. I am happy for you, sir.”

His face darkened. “I will tell you one thing that bugs me, Jeeves. That bloody Egyptian collection. I was conned out of half a million over that nest egg, that I thought it would be.

I thought I could relax for the rest of my life, but now I have to think about making money again. How are you about making money, Jeeves?”

“I don’t have any as yet, sir. The army doesn’t encourage money-making, I’m afraid. My experience as a butler is still at an early stage, though I earn a lot more than the army offered, cash-wise. I don’t believe I can offer any relevant suggestions for money-making, sir.”

“You didn’t experience any criminality in the army, then? That is a surprise!”

“Oh, I didn’t say that, sir. I did not personally involve myself with certain underhand tactics used to make money. I observed them but declined to take part.”

He eyed me with a careful scrutiny.

“That’s what I thought, Jeeves. I have you pegged for an honest man in a dishonest world, trying to do your best along the way. Am I right?”

“Your assessment has a modicum of truth, sir.”

“I thought so. In that case, while you might see some criminality happening, you would not be active in stopping it? Right?”

“Sir, I see my duties as first serving the family, then the wider household, and then the wider world. I know how to be circumspect, sir.”

“Good. Let’s keep it that way. I may have to get you to look the other way at times, Jeeves.”

“If that is what sir requires, then that is what sir gets.”

“Right. Dismissed for now, Jeeves.”

I left him to his own considerations about criminality, and returned to my own duties. I regretted having to give him the impression that I would ignore his possible criminal actions, but I had no choice. My butler persona required it, but my Jeeves & Company alter ego would seek his downfall. It was a dichotomy which I could live with.

It did not seem long before I got another ring from The Personalia.

“Mr Jeeves, we have news for you. We have been unable to connect the name Brighton to the purchase of the metal casing, but the name appears in a different context. The titular owner of the garage that sold and repairs the cars for Mrs Dawes is named Brighton. In fact, there are two persons named Brighton on the digital record.”

“Now that is unusual,” I replied. “Can you tell me these names, please?”

“They are Walter Brighton and Frederick Brighton. Does that help?”

“It does indeed. The names match Mrs Dawes’ two sons. I must properly establish what their father’s first name is, in this context.”

I went back to Dawes, having promised to let him know of any result.

“Sir, I have a question, if I may?”

“Ask it, and I will decide, Jeeves.”

“What is the exact first name of Mrs Dawes’ first husband? I only have ‘Tom’. The question is relevant, sir.”

“An interesting question, after all, if you have justification for it. His forename is Thomas, and his middle name is Maxton, in case you ask that as well.”

I grimaced before responding. “Sir, I am now informed that while the transmitter case is still no further forward, the name Brighton turned up in another context. It seems that the garage that provides the cars, and also services them, is officially recorded as being owned by a Walter and Frederick Brighton. Does that mean anything to you, sir?”

“By God it does! These are the names of our two sons. I never knew about this. What the hell is going on?”

“I could not say, sir. It may be mere coincidence that the owners’ names have relevance for you. It may be an unfortunate juxtaposition of the nomenclature.”

“And I have just thought of another possibility. If that property is in the names of our sons, do they know about? Does their mother know about it? And why did Tom Brighton put that garage into his sons’ names? I am assuming that their identity is correct.

Is it just to dodge taxes, or was there an ulterior motive? Jeeves, I don’t know were I am, with all these discoveries coming to light. What advice can you offer me, man?”

I looked at him thoughtfully. “Sir, might it not be better to step back a little, and consider. What do you know, that you didn’t before? The way I see it, speaking as an outsider, is that all you have are a few facts, relating to names which might, or might not, be identifiable as persons. Everything else is mere supposition, based on these discovered facts.

On that basis, one should not worry about anything until some of the suppositions are corroborated, or eliminated, in some way. If it was me, I would consider how to clarify the assumed facts.”

“Jeeves, you always manage to calm my fears, and get me in a more settled frame of mind. Thank you. I will take myself to my study and work out my next move. I think I shall phone the garage and ask the manager about the father of the boys, just to be certain.”

“Very well, sir. Am I dismissed for the present?”

“Oh, I suppose so. Return to whatever duties you were engaged on, Jeeves.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Later that day, Miss Catherine whispered to me as she passed, “Garden, ten minutes.”

I assumed from that she meant the same sheltered point, so I took myself there a few minutes later. Sure enough the young lady appeared, and grasped my arm.

“Jeeves, Daddy asked me a most peculiar question. He wanted to know if my brothers owned any property that I knew of!”

“Is that so, Miss?”