Chapter 19

I bowed to her, and announced, “John Hawkins Freeman, at your service, ma’am.”

“Hello, John. Nice to meet you at last!”

“Likewise. I am presuming you really are Miss Felicity Frobisher?”

“Unfortunately, yes. My bosses said they couldn’t devise a better name, so my real one was used. I don’t like Felicity, though I prefer to be called...”

“Flick,” I finished for her. You couldn’t even use that in the Dawes household, or it might have given you away, with it being French slang, without the k, for a police officer!

She agreed, “Miss Frobisher was the best solution, and helped me maintain my distance. You didn’t maintain your distance, Jeeves, did you?”

“No. Initially it was to discover what you knew about Dawes, but it soon changed to a personal interest. May I continue with that interest, Constable Frobisher?”

“How did you know about me, John?”

“My company has contacts that enabled consultation of certain databases, and that produced much of the data. Your Yorkshire records had you transferred to the Met, but their records did not mesh, except with the undercover unit. That is a point to be considered. Your transfer should be officially recorded in the Met’s records, for some innocuous duty in London that required a fresh face. Then you would be unnoticed.

Hiding in plain sight is always best. Curiosity about anomalies is far worse.”

“So who are you actually working for, Jeeves?”

I replied, “‘Jeeves and Company’, truthfully, but with links to government. Certain staff are employed to discover the whereabouts of missing criminal assets, so that they can be retrieved, surreptitiously. I am part of that operation. I can say no more.”

“Can we – you and I, John – keep in touch, for ... social reasons?”

“I would enjoy that, Flick, but it has to wait until my time in the Dawes household is at an end. You okay with that?”

“Yes. I did not have any romantic attachments previously, but you are ... different.”

“I am an injured ex-soldier, as I told Mr Dawes, so I am unusual for a butler, I will grant you.”

“An ... extensive injury, John?”

“Just my leg, which has some metal support in it. The rest of me is normal, or whatever counts for normal.”

“I am relieved. You had better get back to work, J ... Jeeves.”

“Actually, I have to take the car to a garage, to get it seen to. We have at least one microphone hidden in it.”

“Why would Mr Dawes want to listen to people in his own car?”

“He didn’t. He was surprised when I told him I had found a microphone.”

“Weird, just like most of that family.”

“Indeed. Well, I have to go. Goodbye kiss?”

“Yes, I suppose so, if you are quick about it.”

We kissed, mouth to mouth, and it helped my respiration. I rushed off to the car, giving a quick farewell to the couple.

My phone gave me a choice of garages within five miles of the Dawes home, so I ignored the one where the normal servicing was done, as it was suspect. I picked one that was as far from them as was practical, so it would be unlikely for there to be links between them. I drove there swiftly, and parked outside the main door.

A man noticed me from inside, and came over to me.

“Sorry, mate, but we have a full load at the moment. Can’t do anything for you now.”

“I don’t need repairs or maintenance. I want it looked at for something, and that something removed.”

He looked at me askance. “Are you a nutter, by any chance?”

“I do not believe so, my man. Rather, I am a butler.

Allow me to explain. I have found a microphone installed within the car, and want to know if there are more; and if so, have them removed. Can you cope with that?”

“Could cost...” He was looking for excuses to refuse.

“Sir, the bill will be paid, and I will afterwards inform my friends as to whether your bill was equitable or extortionate.”

“I see. A full examination to search for microphones. Remove any found, and associated cabling?”

“And any transmission device attached thereto. I would like to have what is retrieved, as evidence for my employer.”

“This is not your car, then?”

“No. It is my employer’s. He sent me to have this done, as I am his butler.”

“Butler, eh? Jeeves, is it?”

“That is my name, sir. Our company supplies butlers to the rich and famous.”

“I see. You will have a credit card available, then?”

“Indeed I do. Mr. Dawes supplied me with a card for such payments.”

“Dawes? Not the John Dawes that lives a few miles from here? Retired criminal?”

“You may think what you will about Mr Dawes, but to me he is just my employer.”

“Okay, okay. Don’t take that uppity stance with me. I’m just a working man who has nowt to do with criminals.”

“We are discussing a car, not its owner, sir.”

“Yeah, okay. Can you leave it? Might take some time tomorrow to get that sorted.”

“I can, if you can lend me a car to get home; anything, as long as it runs and is legal for the road. I can return it when this one is ready to collect.”

“Yeah. We have an old one, pretty basic, that we keep for customer needs. Not much fuel in it, so if you want to go more than a few miles away, you’ll need to add some more. You can have that one. Park your car inside and lock it, then give me the keys, so I can tag them with the reg. number. Can’t leave any cars outside, these days. Too risky.”

I approved of his ways, and allowed him to take my card number, so he could confirm there was the wherewithal on it to pay his bill.

I boarded his old banger, which actually ran smoothly, and headed home.

Jones admitted me after I had performed his toots’ announcement. I was glad the horn worked.

I entered the house, and immediately told Jones, “Please inform Mr Dawes that I have returned, and am embarking on my afternoon tasks. Nothing special to report, except that the car will be attended to tomorrow.”

Jones grabbed me by the arm. “Before you go, Jeeves. The gardening firm phoned to say the usual gardener has cried off sick, so it will be a different gardener for some time. They don’t know how long the usual guy will be off, as it is some bug that is afflicting him.”

“Afflicting? Big words, Mr. Jones. Trying to emulate me?”

“No, Jeeves. Just reporting the words used by the firm.”

“Ah. Disappointing. Having decided to read documents through, I thought you would supplement your vocabulary at the same time.”

He gave a contorted smile of admission. “Not yet, Jeeves. Not yet.”

I went off to consult with chef about the menu for the evening meal. She liked to spring surprises from time to time to avoid boredom at the dining table, and also to show Jennifer more recipes she should be learning. It also kept me on my toes, for I had to know what the dining table layout should be.

As I went, I pondered on the change of gardener. To my mind, the move was premature, as it might link Frobisher’s departure with the gardener’s departure. She may have left, but nothing should have been done about disturbing her reporting link. That could have waited a week or so. For that matter, I might have been able to pass on information about Dawes to the gardener, whom I had confidently presumed to be a policeman.

I thought I had finished with the car matter for today, but Jones found me and said that Mr Dawes wanted a word, in his study. I put in the required appearance, to be informed that he wanted a more detailed report.

“Sir, I selected a garage as far as possible away from the usual garage, to minimise the chances of there being a contractual obligation between them, while remaining within a reasonable distance from this house.

The man I spoke to at the garage said they were busy, but when it became clear to him that his payment would be assured, he agreed to do the work tomorrow. I came home in old but reliable customer service car.”

“No problems, then?”

“Not really, sir. When I informed him that I represented Mr John Dawes, he asked, “Not the John Dawes, the retired criminal?”, for which I reprimanded him, saying that I was butler to Mr John Dawes, so he was my valued employer. That sufficed, as he seemed happy to take your money. I offered the credit card for his reassurance. No charge will be made until the work is done. I did not ask the cost, as it will depend on the amount of time involved.”

“Excellent, Jeeves. You did well. The card should be fine for payment, with the bank’s cooperation over the theft from my accounts.”

“Will that be all, sir?”

“Yes. You can get back to your mealtime preparations. Chef happy?”

“She indicated she was sad to see Frobisher leave, but is otherwise happy, sir.”

“Fine. Dismissed.”

I bowed and departed. Dawes seemed to really appreciate his butler service. In other circumstances, he would be fine to work for, but as it was...

At 2 p.m. the next day, I got a call from the garage.

“Mr. Jeeves, that car is wired for sound, everywhere! We started with the mike you found, and traced its wires back. They ended at a radio transmitter, but there were another five microphones in the car that we traced from the transmitter. We disconnected the transmitter from its link to the car battery, and are now pulling the wires out as per your instructions. You want to have the transmitter as well as the microphones and wiring?”

“Everything, please. That would be helpful. Will you need to do any reinstatement of anything?”

“I don’t expect so, Mr. Jeeves. I can confirm that when you get here. Any time after half an hour from now would be fine.”

I made a point of informing Mr. Jones of my whereabouts that afternoon, and as soon as lunch was over and cleared, I embarked in the customer service vehicle once again, making sure I had the credit car in my waistcoat pocket. This time, I discovered that it had a satnav unit with the garage set as the destination, so I used that as my guide. I had not looked for such a thing when driving back to the Dawes house, as I knew my way.

When I arrived, the car was standing by the garage front door, carefully locked up, and with the extracted material packed in a large plastic carrier bag of the type one now had to pay five pence for.

I thanked the garage staff that I saw there, telling them that I was grateful for the effort they had put into my security foibles. They seemed pleased that I took the trouble to thank them, as it was their paid work anyway. I took my training to heart, to thank people for their work, even when it might seem superfluous to thank them. It was a social attribute worth cultivating, I agreed with the butler school.