Chapter 9

My separation papers were served on June 20, 1979. The divorce was final on Feb 4, 1980. I was married to a cheating, unfaithful bitch for nineteen years, eleven months, and 14 days. In all fairness, the cheating and lying only happened in last ten years. I was relatively happy during the first nine years. I was an enlisted petty office then and worked two jobs plus my Navy job to put food on the table for my little family. I worked two hours as a TV repairman (they actually repaired TVs back then) after my Navy job and also acted as a tailor for all the young sailors at the base. I sewed on rank patches, tailored dress uniforms and put zippers in the navy jumpers to get that skin tight look that was in fashion back then. The faithfulness of my wife during that time was never in question. I didn’t know it at the time, but that was the very best years and I know now that I did love her. Out marriage was simply one of the millions of casualties of the Viet Nam war. Lyndon Johnson was the real culprit in the demise of my marriage. I can’t seriously blame MaryAnn. Oh, she could have handled it better, but shit, so could I. Several times in this narrative I alluded to our having an “open marriage.” That wasn’t the complete truth. Open marriage, in my understanding, is like a swinging lifestyle. Each partner was free to have sex “in the open” with no recriminations, or jealousy. Truth again, every time I thought about MaryAnn fucking or sucking Vince I would get physically ill. Maybe if I had embraced the lifestyle like the Maddens, I would still be married to MaryAnn. Who knows?

MaryAnn’s slimy lawyer would not agree to a clean divorce but demanded a separation period hoping that congress would pass the grossly unfair “Military Spouse Protection Act” written by Congresswoman Patricia Schroder that requires all military retirement pay to divided equally if the marriage lasted over 20 years. I missed having to give my ex-wife half of my retirement pay by just a few weeks. The slimy lawyer miscalculated on when the law went into effect. I remained on active duty for 36 years. I retired as a Navy Captain, (O-6) Commanding Officer of the Naval Training Center in Orlando, Florida on August 1, 1992. MaryAnn missed out on a huge amount of cash. There is a God.

Epilogue

In 1986, I was ordered back to the Pentagon to serve as the Officer Community Manager for Limited Duty and Warrant Officers on active duty. I was a bachelor and lived in the Greenhouse apartments just inside the beltway with my two grown sons. Life was good. I was keeping exclusive company with a very sweet woman who was a high school classmate back in Southern Illinois. She was the victim of a cheating husband who divorced her to marry his 27 year-old secretary. Heidi had been married over twenty years with three adult children when the shithead dumped her. I had thoughts that my life might have been much happier if Heidi had come to my New Year’s Eve party 56 years ago and I had married her instead of the unfaithful cheater.

Heidi was, and I’m sure still is, a wonderful, sweet and very sexy woman. Again, I could detail our very active sex that we both very much enjoyed for the eight months we dated. No matter how out sex life was in perfect sync there were a few incompatibilities between us. Heidi was a true blue liberal in every sense; she hated guns and the South. I on the other hand, have a large gun collection and retired to Florida because I love the South and am a staunchly conservative Republican.

I might have accepted the problem areas and married Heidi for all her good points. I did not do that because my karma was finally swinging to the happy side. To my much undeserved good luck, CDR Donna Dansig, USN, had her office in the same wing of the Pentagon Annex as mine. The first time I saw this very proper and very beautiful naval officer I was, like the Brits say “Gobsmacked.”

The way I followed this incredibly beautiful woman around was skirting the definition of stalking. Like many things in my life, I almost screwed this up. As the Officer Community Manager, I had professional dealings with a Captain Bruce Dansig in OP-05, Aviation Plans. Donna had a Captain’s parking tag and a set of gold naval aviator wings license plate on the front bumper of her car. She parked in the privileged 0-6 parking spot near the building door. I put two and two together and came up with five. I assumed CDR Dansig was Mrs. Dansig. No way was this Navy Commander with movie star looks single. I learned later that Donna had a bit part in a real Hollywood move. The Human Factor was shot on location in Naples, Italy and Donna was cast as a Naval Officer involved with a CIA agent. She originally had a bigger part but because she balked at kissing an enlisted driver, a real Navy officer would never do that, her screen time was drastically reduced. The movie is on NetFlix if you want to see it. So, if not a star, she had been “in the movies.”

In December, 1987, I was waiting at the bus stop in front of the Navy Annex on a cold, snowy day, about a mile from the Pentagon, when CDR Dansig and her assistant, LCDR whats-his-name, came out of the front door of the Annex. She asked me “Are you waiting for the bus to the Pentagon?, Is this the right place to board the bus?” This was the first time I had heard her speak. Her voice was pleasant and melodious and went perfectly with her lovely face and gorgeous body. I said nothing for an awkward period and finally croaked, “Yes, I think it is.” Think it is?? What a stupid thing to say, so much for a good first impression. The two boarded the bus and took two seats halfway back in the mostly empty bus. I had to do something to show I wasn’t a total fool. I walked back to where they were sitting and said to the junior officer “Sit someplace else, I need to talk to CDR Dansig.” As he had to do as a junior officer, he jumped up and went further back in the bus and sat down.” OK wise guy, now you are here what the hell are you going to say? I noticed Donna had an amused look on her face as if she was reading my mind. With her looks she must get hit on constantly and is likely an expert in the brush off to get rid of people just like me. I hadn’t thought this through, obviously. But, I didn’t have a plan for accidently meeting her on the DOD bus. Suddenly, I had a flash of inspiration. I’ll tell her I know her husband, Bruce. I dove right in, “Say, I know your husband, but I have never formally been introduced to you. I’ve got an office down the hall from you.” Her response was priceless, and I remember it as if it was yesterday. “You are the guy who has been following me around the wing with puppy dog eyes.” “You finally screwed up the courage to talk to me, huh? Oh, just for the record, I’m not married, and I don’t even know a Bruce Dansig.” She was having a hard time keeping a straight face and then she burst out with the most feminine tinkling laugh. At that moment I fell in love with her deeply and forever. We talked continuously until we reached the Pentagon. I asked her if I could buy her coffee in the Pentagon concourse that contained the shops and restaurants. I could tell she wasn’t making up an excuse but was sincere when she said “I’m very sorry, but I’m tied up all day in meetings, how about lunch tomorrow?”