Chapter 2

The next night I walked into the Donut Shop, not knowing what to expect and surely not having any idea what to say. I had conveniently shown up alone tonight knowing that if any of my friends wanted to find me they’d see my bike chained to the pole out front. As Kay looked up and met my eyes I saw a slight blush reach her cheeks and then she hollered her usual greeting to me, acting as if last night had never happened. I tried to be cool, calm and collected but failed miserably, stumbling as I walked across to my usual seat.

“Hi, Kay. How’s it going tonight?”

Yeah, smooth as buttermilk, I thought, but I couldn’t think of what to say next. Nothing else. I was that usual tongue tied fool I became any time I got close to a female I liked. Before last night I would have walked in and started our usual banter, talking about our days, what we did, how we were feeling, plans for the evening, just about anything, like I did with any friend. But tonight I just couldn’t think of what to say.

Kay was working with Linda this evening, another neighborhood girl, 16, cute, a little plump but almost as shy around guys as I was around girls. Linda walked over and set my usual cup of coffee down in front of me and said, “That’s 15 cents.”

Kay hollered over and asked if I’d take the trash out for her and she’d buy the coffee. I always took the trash out for them when they asked, Kay knew she didn’t have to buy me a coffee for that little favor. I was willing to do the girls a favor any time. My Mom wasn’t the world’s best, but I can say that she raised me to be a gentleman and to this day I still open doors or hold chairs for any woman. I just thought it a little weird that Kay was paying for my coffee as I walked behind the front counter and into the back room to empty the large trash can they kept back there for stale donuts. As I pushed the back door open with my rear to go out to the dumpster I heard Kay say to Linda, “I’ll be right back, watch the register.”

As I lifted the heavy can to dump it in the dumpster I knew it was time to find out what were the consequences of last night. I turned and Kay was standing there behind me with a serious look on her face. Oh shit, here it comes. She’s going to tell me to never come back to the Donut Shop when she’s working.

I knew she could see the trepidation in my eyes. Heck, I was just hoping she wouldn’t see the moistness that was slowly creeping into them. She took a step towards me and reached down and took both of my hands in hers and sadly looked into my eyes. Aw damn, now she could see the beginning of a tear starting to cloud my eyes.

“Gary, don’t! Please? I have to say something difficult and I don’t want this to be any harder than it has to be. First, I want you to know that I had a great time last night. Maybe too great. No, definitely too great. And that’s the problem. I’m 21 years old and you’re, what, 14?

I interrupted, “Well almost 15! I will be in October.”

“You see, that’s the problem. I could go to jail if we were to do anything like that again.”

She could tell by the quizzical look on my face I had no idea what she was talking about.

“If we had gone any further than we went last night I could be arrested for Statutory Rape and ruin both of our lives forever. Hell, as far as I know we may have broken the law last night.”

I had no idea what Statutory Rape was but the last thing I wanted was for Kay to get into trouble because of me. I looked up into her eyes, those eyes that had stolen my thoughts away last night, captured my heart and shook me right down to my roots.

Tears brimmed in my eyes as I quietly said, “I’m sorry Kay, I didn’t mean to make you do that. I don’t want you to get in trouble just because you were trying to help some dumb little kid.”

I looked back down at the ground, hoping she wouldn’t have noticed the tears. She pulled my hands towards her and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, squeezing me tight and holding me for a few seconds in a hug that made me weak in the knees. She placed a soft little kiss on the top of my head and then pushed me back out to arm’s length before lifting a finger to my chin and pushing my head up so that I had to look into those eyes again.

“Gary, you didn’t make me do anything. I truly meant to only help you, to learn how to talk to a girl, to kiss her, to make her desire you. Unfortunately, I think it worked too well. After that kiss you gave me and that award winning smile of yours, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to make you a man, how much I desired you, wanted to feel you make love to me. But I just can’t let that happen. I hope you understand. You are going to make some sweet girl, your age, a wonderful boyfriend.”

“I guess I understand. But can I ask you something Kay?”

“Anything Gary.”

“Does that mean you were awake last night? I mean when I ... um ... you know?”

“I didn’t sleep a wink last night, Gary. After our talk and then your ‘practice kiss’ I knew I had to turn around right away before I did something we’d both regret. I pretended to go to sleep because I didn’t want to lead you on anymore.”

“Kay, I don’t regret anything we did last night, and I promise, it will remain our secret. But I am embarrassed you could feel me make a mess of my shorts. I’m so sorry for being such a little boy then.”

“Sorry? If you would have seen my panties when I got home in the morning ... they were soaked. Believe me, you turned me on as much as I turned you on, my little man. When I first rolled over after our kisses I loosened the button on my jeans and reached down and petted the cat a few times. That’s why we have to keep this our secret and never let it happen again. OK?”

Petted the cat? It took a couple seconds for that one to sink in and I grinned before asking, “When you pulled my arm around you, if I had placed my arm and hand a little lower and noticed the button undone I might have had a hard time not slipping my hand down there to pet your cat for you.”

“I might have had a harder time stopping you,” she laughed. “But that’s why we have to never do that again, OK? Promise me.”

The next statement was the hardest thing I had to say in a long time. “OK. I promise.”

After carrying the trash can back in while Kay held the door I quickly slid into the bathroom while no one noticed. I stayed for a few minutes while I cleaned the tears away from my eyes then headed back out to my seat.

Kay immediately came over, picked up my coffee and said, “Here, let me get you a hot cup, can’t have my favorite customer drinking lukewarm coffee after doing me a favor.”

“Thanks cutie,” I said, using the term I so often used when we began our light hearted banter. I don’t remember much else of what was said that evening. My head was in a different place and my heart was in my sneakers. I was as low as I could go. I couldn’t believe my life had ended already at just 14.

The next few days my friends couldn’t figure out why I didn’t feel like hanging out at the Donut Shop. I figured out other things we could do, things that didn’t have to involve my seeing Kay. I felt like the world’s biggest loser, heartbroken at such a young age. I guess I knew deep down that I was being foolish. What else could have come out of falling for a 21-year-old woman? And did I really think a 21-year-old woman could fall for me? Right! It’s just that the memory of her lips pressed against mine, our tongues wrestling, “spooning” with her, cupping her tit in my hand and squeezing that giant nipple, feeling my cock nestled between the perfect globes of her ass and then her hand softly stroking my cock ... I just couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I spent a lot of time just being by myself, walking the woods and fields around my house like I did when I needed some alone time. I was often a loner, I guess because after being tested in those stupid Standardized Tests they give you all through school, I had been deemed “genius”, a word I learned to hate for the rest of my life. My parents and teachers always expected and wanted more from me, I was placed in those accelerated classes and was already one grade above the majority of my friends I had made in my earlier years. For some reason my brain never seemed to shut down so my escape from it was to just head out to the woods, find a good tree to sit down and lean against, close my eyes and just concentrate on the sounds of the wild. Nothing seemed to calm my spirit better than listening to the breeze rustling the leaves of that tree, the sound of a brook or stream with the soft gurgles and tinkles of it traveling over rocks, the soothing call of small songbirds on nearby branches. I guess you could call it my form of meditation although I had never studied meditation at that time.

Six days later my friends were all at the Donut Shop and I had absolutely nothing else to do except sit at home, bored. My mom was out again and Dad was working on his 3rd bourbon on the rocks. I knew he’d be hitting the sack soon and we had run out of things to say to each other so I headed down to the Shop to see if I could talk my friends into going to do something somewhere else. They were tired of hearing my excuse of not having any money so I wouldn’t be able to hang out inside. Mike told me to get my sorry ass inside, he had cut a lawn that day and had some extra money so he was buying. I couldn’t tell him why I didn’t want to go in so I finally shrugged my shoulders and thanked him for the offer.

I walked in, heading for my usual seat and Kay looked at me from behind the counter. “There’s my favorite conversationalist and coffee drinker. Where the heck have you been stranger? I thought you didn’t like me anymore,” she said with a laugh. I felt for sure she knew I was avoiding her but she made it into a joke to try to ease the tension.