A Flintstones Story

“Fred Flintstone, one of these days I’m going to kill you...” The red haired woman said to herself as she beat the tigerskin rug hanging on the clothesline.

“Problem Wilma?” asked a voice from the other side of the stone fence.

“Oh hi, Betty...” Wilma said as she turned and saw the dark haired woman who had spoken. “Just the usual problem, the one that put Fred’s buddies before his wife.”

“What did he do now?” Betty asked as she leaned on the top row of rocks.

“Well ... you know Pebbles is away at camp for the weekend with Bam Bam. So I figure that tonight being Friday night, it would be a great chance for the two of us to spend an intimate evening together.”

“And I guess he saw it differently?” Betty interjected.

“Well, at first, he seamed to go along with it.” Wilma said as she removed the rug from the line.

“That was until Joe Rockhead called and told him there was an emergency meeting of the Water Buffalo Lounge tonight. And out the door he went.”

“Emergency meeting huh?”

“Yeh, the emergency being the Rocky Slagstone fight on the TV tonight.” She said in expiration as she folded the rug and dropped it into her basket. “One of these days he’s going to go too far.”

“I know how you feel, Wilma.” Betty said sympathetically.

“If it’s not the Water Buffaloes, it’s the Bowling Team, or a big game at the pool hall.” Wilma said as she moved over to Betty. “Honestly, sometimes I wonder how he was ever home long enough for us to have Pebbles. It sometimes seems like that was the last time we were together.”

Betty just nodded her head in agreement.

“You’re so lucky that Barney isn’t like that.” Wilma said.

“Not like that? Wilma, where do you think he is now. Fred calls and away he goes. Sometimes I think they should’ve married each other, at least they spend more than an hour a day together.”

Now Wilma just nodded knowingly.

“Tell you what, Wilma.” Betty said as she leaned over the fence and whispered to Wilma. “As I see it, we can either sit back and mope around or have our own fun.”

“What do you have in mind?” Wilma asked cautiously.

“Oh, nothing wild.” Betty reassured. “I just figured we could rent a good film from the video store and get a few snacks, maybe a little Rockberry Wine. Sort of a girls night in.”

“Hmm, I guess that would be ok.”

“Great, why don’t you leave everything to me.” Betty said with a smile. “Just be at my house in an hour.”

“All right, see you then.” Wilma replied as she picked up the basket and headed back to the house.

An hour later, Wilma was knocking on the door of the Rubble house. It was dark inside and Wilma was wondering if maybe Betty wasn’t back yet. She was about to leave when Betty called out from inside.

“Be right with you, Wilma.”

Three minutes later, the door opened and Wilma stood open mouth as she saw her next door neighbor.

Gone was the short blue dress Betty normally wore. Instead Betty wore a tight leopard skin that more than highlighted her ample figure. Betty had always been a stocky girl, but Wilma had always envied her large breasts. Gaining ten or so pounds would be worth it if she could be sure that those breasts would come with it.

“Betty, that’s some outfit...” Wilma said as she finally found her voice. “Where in the word did you get it?”

“Like it?” She asked as she spun around and showed off what there was ... or more accurately wasn’t of the dress. “I bought it at Fredrick’s of Bedrock for our Anniversary last year, but never got to wear it. You remember, that was the night the boys had that big, important, not to be missed, poker game. I found it when I was cleaning before and just felt like wearing it.”

“Well, it certainly is different,” Wilma noted as she stepped inside, wondering how she’d look in a dress like that.

“Have a seat, I just have to get a few things from the kitchen.” Betty called out as she shut the door and headed from the kitchen.

Two hours later, both the movie and the snacks done, Betty and Wilma sat drinking the last of the Rockberry wine. Glancing at the clock, Wilma noted that it would be another half hour before the Slagstone fight was only just beginning, so it could still be hours before their husbands came home.

“And they’ll be too tired to do anything once they get home...” Betty remarked as she took a last sip of wine. “Not that Barney has ever been any good in that department. What I wouldn’t give for a good fuck!”

“Betty Rubble!” Wilma shot back in shock, it was the first time she had ever heard Betty use the F-word. They’d had intimate discussions over the years, but they’d always used more lady like code words.

“Oh come on, Wilma.” Betty countered. “Just a few hours ago all you could do was complain about Fred’s lack of attention. When was the last time he spent more than five minutes taking care of business. They take more time polishing their bowling balls than getting us off.”

Reluctantly, Wilma had to agree. With Fred it was usually a minute of foreplay, following by a few grunt and groans as he heaved onto of her. Then he’d roll over and go to sleep.

“I guess you’re right, Betty, but what can you do.” Wilma shrugged. “I mean it’s not like we’re going to run out and get boyfriends.”

“Wouldn’t want a boyfriend,” Betty said, her speech showing a little of the wines effects. “Why put up with the whole bull when you only want one part - the best part.”

“I don’t know what you mean?”

“Wait, I’ll show you...” Betty whispered.

With that she got up and disappeared into the bedroom. Wilma could hear her rummaging through one of her dresser draws, looking for something. Then she reappeared, holding something behind her back.

“Ta da!” Betty triumphantly announced as she produced a highly polished saber tooth. “Old faithful, guaranteed never to let you down.”

“I don’t understand?” Wilma said as she stared at the nine inch tooth.

“Oh Wilma,” Betty said, “Sometimes you can be so dense.”

With that she brought the tooth down and positioned it against her pelvic area, rubbing it against her dress.

“Oh my!” Wilma said as she brought her hand to her mouth, suddenly understanding what Betty was talking about. “Oh Betty, I could never do that.”

“You’d be surprised what you can do when you find yourself home one cold night too many.” Betty said. “Very surprised.”

“Where did you ever get such a thing?”

“From Shirley Rocstein, you remember her, she used to work over at the supermarket.” Betty said with a smile as if remembering private thoughts. “She showed me a lot of really great things.”

“I don’t know, Betty,” Wilma said hesitantly, trying hard to hide her curiosity. “I don’t think I could ever do anything like that.”

“Well, I’m not trying to push you into anything.” Betty said. “But I’ll tell you what, why don’t you borrow ‘old fang’ here. Maybe you might want to take him for a test drive.”

“Oh Betty I couldn’t...”

“I insist.” Betty replied as she dropped the saber tooth into Wilma’s bag.

With that Wilma heard a car pull into the driveway, a moment later she heard Fred’s booming voice.

“Who’d have believed it, Barn,” said the loud voice. “That new kid, Mike Tyroc puts Slagstone’s lights out 20 seconds into the first round. I tell you that kids going places.”

“That’s not what you said before the fight, Fred.” Barney said. “You said Slagstone was going to wipe up the mat with the kid.”

“You just don’t understand my betting strategy, Barney.” Fred replied as he reached the fence door connecting to his yard. “No one bets on the new kid the first time out, it’s bad luck.”

“Sure Fred,” Barney countered as he opened the door for Fred... “I supposed that hundred clams you dropped on Slagstone was good luck. I can’t wait to hear how you explain that one to Wilma.”

“Child’s play, Rubble,” Fred grinned. “I’ll just give her a little of the old Flintstone magic and she won’t even ask about the money.”

“Sure Fred, sure.” Barney smiled back. “I guess I forgot all about your magical charm.”

While Fred and Barney had exchanged barbs, Wilma had snuck out the Rubbles front door and entered her house from the street side. She no sooner stripped and jumped into bed when Fred walked into the room.

“Hey sweetheart, I’m glad your still up.” He said as dropped his skin and eased into bed with her. “All night I’ve been thinking about how nice it would be to snuggle up to you when I got home.”

Wilma smiled as she felt his hands close on her breasts. See, Betty was wrong, she told herself. Fred could still surprise her. Two minutes later he parted her legs and entered her. A couple of grunts and one Yaba Daba Doo later, Fred rolled over and fell fast asleep. Some things would never change after all.

For an hour after that, Wilma laid there awake staring at the ceiling. Every time she closed her eyes, she started imagining what kind of things Shirley Rocstein had really shown Betty. To her surprise, the images left her wet beneath the sheets.

After dinner Saturday night, Wilma had just finished clearing the dishes when she heard Fred humming contentedly from the living room. Curious, she peeked in and turned red with anger.

Sitting in his big easy chair, Fred was meticulously polishing his bowling ball. Every few second he would stop and pay special attention to a small smudge he had overlooked before. Looking up at the clock she noted that he had been working on the ball for almost an hour.

“Now there’s a thing of beauty.” Fred noted as he finished clearing off the last smudge and lifted the ball to eye level. “Baby, we’re going to wipe out Kelly’s tenpins tonight.” He said to the ball as he bend down and kissed it.

“Tonight... ?” Wilma said as she walked into the room, dishtowel still in hand. “I thought we were going to the movies tonight?”

“Sorry honey,” Fred said as he gently put the ball back into his bowling bag. “They had to move the Monday night game up to Saturday on account of some benefit they’re having on Monday. I can’t let the guys down, if we win tonight we go into the championships.”