Chapter 4: Lauren

"I'm home," Lauren sang as she walked through the front door. Despite it being the end of the week, she had a full load of books in her bag to study while her parents were out of town over the weekend. She lugged the books into the kitchen and thunked them on down on the counter.

"How was your day?" Mom asked from the kitchen table. She had a mug in her hands and was leaning on her elbows, staring intently at Lauren.

"Good," Lauren said as she pulled out her lunch containers. Stepping to the sink, she ran the water to rinse out the crumbs from her lunch. "I aced my book report on Emma. We got them back today and Mrs. Gretta wrote she was blown away by my insight."

The fact that Josh had helped her improve the report broadened her smile. She probably would have caught the errors he pointed out during revisions, but it had warmed her heart that he cared enough to help. Their discussion of Emma's transformation had also inspired Lauren to dig a little deeper in the story to strengthen her conclusion.

"That's wonderful," Mom said, but her tone didn't match her words.

Lauren glanced over as she put the containers in the drying rack next to the sink. "What's up?"

"Can we chat for a minute before your father gets home?"

"Sure." Lauren dried her hands on a dishtowel and joined her mother at the table.

Mom shifted around for a moment as she frowned into her mug. "It seems like yesterday I was changing your diapers."

The words signaled she was in for one of those talks. Her mother felt compelled to have them periodically. Her parents had always treated her like an adult, but being their only child meant dealing with their overprotective tendencies at times. They weren't as bad as Breezy's parents, thank God. Lauren took a deep breath and fixed a smile on her face.

"When you started dating Bruce, I worried he might pressure you to do things you weren't ready for."

Lauren felt the heat rise up her neck. Mom really sucked at sex talks. She pronounced the clinical terms for body parts like someone speaking a foreign language. When Lauren began menstruating, Mom had made an embarrassing mess of the whole thing by telling her father at dinner. Then she called her sister Julie to brag, like Lauren getting her first period was the same as a good report card.

The pleading look on her mother's face made Lauren deeply uncomfortable. The unasked question hung between them while Mom silently begged not to have to ask it out loud. Lauren took a breath to steel her resolve and let her mother off the hook.

"Bruce and I made love just after Christmas. Well, I made love. Bruce, not so much, considering he cheated on me the whole time we dated."

"Oh," Mom gasped.

"I told you I broke up with him, but I didn't see the point of sharing the details. My lack of judgment was embarrassing enough without adding that he managed to charm me out of my virginity."

Her mother's flush probably matched her own. "Were you ... I mean did you..."

"Condoms and spermicide," Lauren answered, keeping her own discomfort from her tone.

"Perhaps we should look into something more ... reliable." Her mother pursed her lips. "When your father and I get back I'll take you to see Doctor Inverness. I'm sure she can prescribe something that will work better."

"What do you use?" Lauren asked.

"I had my tubes tied after you were born," she said with a nervous smile. "I know this isn't a comfortable conversation for either of us, but I want to know you really can talk to me about anything."

"I know, Mom. I appreciate it." Embarrassing or not, her mother cared enough to ask and that meant the world to Lauren.

Mom's smile thinned as she nodded. "Now. Before your father gets home, can we discuss Josh Alexander? I've seen the pictures of you two from Prom."

"It's no big deal." Lauren tried to figure out what Mom was getting at. "I told you he stepped in after Bruce dumped me."

"Yes. Well." Mom took a sip from her mug. "Billie came over for coffee this afternoon."

The dots connected suddenly and her heart raced. "We're just friends, Mom."

Mom smiled. "I know it can be exciting when an older friend pays special attention to you, but I don't want you to get hurt. It's easy to become attached to someone you're intimate with."

Mom's warning echoed the one she'd given herself daily over the last week. It was just chemistry, she told herself. Fun while it fizzed, then flat when it fizzled. Lauren had forced herself to accept the limits of what Josh had offered. In fact, she never intended to contact him until he showed up at his parents' house Wednesday night. Knowing he was across the street had fueled her imagination until she gave in to temptation and texted him.

Despite the pretense she'd offered when she got there, Josh had made a good sounding board for Breezy's situation. The impulsive invitation to join them on Saturday had leapt out of her mouth. Then she found out his college friends had given him a hard time because he'd taken her to Prom. Even worse, Gillian had asked to meet her. The idea made Lauren want to gag. It was bad enough knowing he hooked up with her, but Lauren would rather claw Gillian's eyes out than do that.

"Trust me, I'm not attached." Lauren's chest tightened. She was trapped between the amazing connection she felt to Josh and his three rules. It was time to escape. "He was just a friend-in-need."

"But Billie thought—"

"Look, Josh was really good in bed, okay? That's it." Lauren dropped that on the table to halt the discussion and Mom's mouth snapped shut in response. "I don't want a relationship with him," she lied.

"Okay," Mom whispered as she pulled out her cell phone. "Just promise me you'll be careful."

"I will." Lauren stood. "I'm gonna get started on my homework before I have to go babysit."

She grabbed her books on the way out of the kitchen. The tightness in her chest relaxed when she entered her room. She dropped the books on her bed and toed off her sneakers as she sat in her desk chair.

Moving the mouse to wake her computer, she entered the password to unlock the screen. Dozens of message notifications demanded attention, so she quickly scanned through them. Ever since Prom she'd been inundated with friend requests. The last two days had broken all records and she had no idea why other than maybe people had heard what happened at Prom.

One name in the request list stopped her—Gillian Connors. Lauren clicked to see her profile out of morbid curiosity and saw she went to the same college as Josh. It had to be her. She was cute, but Lauren had imagined someone tall, blonde, and gorgeous. The picture on her profile page showed someone sandy-haired, with a scattering of freckles across her nose. She was more athletic than slim, with broad shoulders and a larger bust than her own.

It was almost a relief to see what she looked like, but then doubts began to eat at her heart. Josh had kissed those lips. She'd probably fucked him a hundred times. Had he been as tender with Gillian as he had been with her? Had he cum the same way, pouring himself into her body with that warm splash of pleasure Lauren loved? Is he with her tonight?

Clicking to ignore the request and close her profile, Lauren sucked in her cheeks to keep from crying. Follow the rules. She clicked through the remaining friend requests and accepted those she knew, still curious why so many people were seeking her out.

Among the regular messages from her classmates and friends, Lauren found an invitation to a party starting in a few hours. She wiped her eyes as she read it and resolved to go. Her parents would be leaving after her father got home, so she could stay out as long as she wanted. Maybe she would find her own friend. If Josh could do it, so could she.

Turning the rolling chair, she pulled the books out and spread them across her bed. Taking the history text and class binder, she turned back to her desk and set to work. Losing herself in the details of the Han dynasty, Lauren noted the highlights of Emperor Gaozu's reign for over an hour. Dry facts cooled her heart, leaving behind an ache in place of tears. By the time her parents had left on their trip, Lauren had a plan.

She knocked on the Alexanders' door at seven. Mrs. Alexander opened the door with a grim expression.

"Thanks for coming, Lauren," she said.

"No problem," Lauren answered as the girls came running up to greet her.

"Lauren! Lauren!" Gracie, Riley, and Kate all shouted her name together, drawing around her with bright smiles.

"And how've y'all been?" she asked as she knelt.

"Good," Gracie said. "We're gonna eat pizza and watch a movie!"

"That sounds like a great plan," Lauren said with an indulgent smile.

"The pizza will be ready in thirty minutes," their mother said. "GIrls, go play while Lauren and I talk for a minute."

When they had run off, Lauren stood and schooled her expression. She knew Mom and Billie Alexander had discussed her and Josh that afternoon. Mrs. Alexander took a deep breath and examined Lauren for a moment.

"I saw Josh kiss you last night," she said without emotion.

The words put a chill up her back, but she maintained eye contact. "Yes, we kissed." And so much more upstairs, she thought with a thrill.

"When I have you over here to watch the girls, I don't want you distracted by Josh." Her words were clipped like she was angry for some reason.

"I understand. It won't be a problem." Lauren tried to keep her voice steady.

Mrs. Alexander nodded, but her mouth twisted like she wanted to say something else. After a long sigh she said, "Brian will be home around nine. Please have the girls in bed as soon as their movie is over."

The odd mood was making Lauren uncomfortable, something she'd never felt there before. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes," she snapped, then shook her head. "No, nevermind. It's none of my business. Just be careful with Josh."

"I will. I appreciate you being concerned about me," Lauren said, hoping to mollify her boss.

"I'm not concerned about you."

Lauren struggled to understand what Mrs. Alexander meant by that comment. She was still pondering it when the movie was over and the girls were in bed. The door to the garage opened just before nine. For a moment Lauren thought it was Josh in the shadows and her heart fluttered.

"Hey Lauren," Mister Alexander said as he walked into the bright kitchen. "Everything go okay?"

"Yup." She shook off the disappointment and gathered her things to leave. "The girls were great and are already in bed."

"Listen, before you head out," he said as she passed. "I know it's none of my business, but Josh thinks a lot of you."

Her desire for that to be true made his words twist like a knife in her guts. "He's been a good friend."

"Be a good friend to him," Mister Alexander said with a comforting smile.

All the tension and conflicted feelings she'd been fighting returned in a rush. Images of Josh and Gillian together crushed her heart. Lauren felt her chin quiver. "I want to be," she whispered.

"Good," he said and handed her a few bills. "If you need anything while your parents are gone this weekend, just let us know."

"I will," she said, looking down as she moved towards their front door. "Goodnight."

Lauren jogged across the street and opened the front door. She had to get away, to find something to take her mind off what Josh was probably doing. After changing into a light black dress with spaghetti straps, Lauren stood in front of the mirrored closet door to put on makeup. With dark, rimmed eyes and red lips, she stared at her reflection until she made up her mind about what to do.

Breezy pulled up driving her mother's car a few minutes later. Lauren locked the front door of the house and when she opened the car's passenger door to sit down, Breezy cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Okay, let's go," Lauren said before she could change her mind.

"Are you sure about this?" Breezy asked. She was in a little black dress with her auburn hair pulled back in a long French braid. Lauren noted the shadows of dark circles under her makeup and hoped a night out would help Breezy as well.

"I've got an invite and I'm starting summer classes there in a few weeks." She waved a printed page before folding it up and putting it in her purse. "It should be fun."

"Who are you trying to convince," Breezy murmured as she backed out of the driveway.

Lauren was on track to graduate high school in just three years. She had tested out of some classes her freshman year, then took extra classes during the summer term. At the first of the year she had enough credits to officially be a junior despite her youth. And since she had all the necessary prerequisites, the upcoming summer term would be her first opportunity to take advanced placement classes for college credit.

"Have you talked to Todd yet?" Lauren asked.

"Yes, mother," Breezy droned and rolled her eyes at her best friend. "Seriously, thank you for making me see sense this week. We're both excited about hanging out at your pool tomorrow."

"I asked Josh to come," Lauren said as she watched the houses pass by her window.

"I thought you'd sworn him off."

"He went home for dinner Wednesday night and I had a moment of weakness." Lauren bit a thumbnail. "He probably won't come over."

"So deciding at the last minute to go to a boring orientation party on campus has nothing to do with maybe seeing Josh?" Breezy asked in an arch tone.

She's right. God, I'm so pathetic. "I doubt he'll be at a mixer for incoming freshmen and summer students. I just needed to do something other than sit at home tonight."

"Well, considering how much shit I've put you through this week, I owe you at least one boring party."

They arrived and parked where the invitation noted. Lauren's stomach fluttered as they walked into the atrium of a tall building. The party had been going for a couple of hours, but there were still people mingling around.

After showing her invitation to the greeter at the door, Lauren and Breezy stepped into the dimly lit atrium where a thumping bass beat drowned out the sound of conversation. There was a small dance floor near the DJ booth with a few people almost dancing. A number of tables with fold-out displays were set up around the edge of the room providing information on student organizations and areas of study. In the center of the room was an impromptu bar serving soft drinks and finger foods.

"What's first?" Breezy asked.

"A soda, I guess," Lauren said and led the way to the bar.

Drinks in hand, they walked from table to table, speaking to each of the representatives. The guy at the International Student Union table had a vaguely familiar face. When he noticed them approaching, his eyes widened like he recognized them, too. Lauren checked his nametag and caught the name Abdul. Her heartbeat accelerated at once.

"I bet you're Adria's brother, Abdul," Lauren said as she extended her hand before he could say anything. He shook it, ramping up her tension as he gave her a smirk.

"And you must be the infamous Lauren," he said in gently accented English.

"Infamous?" Breezy asked with a chuckle.

Abdul gave Breezy a warm smile and extended his hand to her next. "Abdul Hussein."

"Breezy McDowell, nice to meet you. How's Lauren infamous around here?"

"I've been sworn to secrecy. Study group members only," he whispered to her, then turned his attention back to Lauren. "Does Josh know you're here?"

"I doubt it." Her skin tingled like she'd been caught doing something sneaky. "I'm starting classes here in a few weeks and was invited for orientation."

"Wait, you're in the Advanced Placement Summer Program?" Abdul asked in surprise. "Adria can't join until she's a junior."

"Technically, I was a junior at the start of this term," Lauren said. "If everything goes according to plan, I'll be graduating a year early next spring."

"That's how you got the prom tickets!" Abdul laughed and slapped his leg. "I knew there was a logical explanation. Maria wouldn't shut up about how you were too young to go to prom and Josh wasn't a student. She drove us nuts on Wednesday." Breezy shot Lauren a questioning look, which she ignored.

"It's no big deal," Lauren said. "No one cares as long as you have a valid Prom ticket, and any junior or senior could buy them at the front office since the first of the year."

Abdul nodded and leaned in like he was sharing a secret. "Maria has too much time on her hands if you ask me."

Lauren looked around and noticed a few people were looking at the three of them. Some were cute guys clearly giving her and Breezy the once over. Down a couple of tables was a student representative in a dark skirted business suit giving her a head to toe examination. Lauren's mouth dried when she recognized the sandy-haired woman. Gillian ... Wait, he's not out with her!