Chapter 9

“Owwww!” The pain shot down my arm from where Hannah had punched me. I called out, “Aunt Janet – Hannah hit me!”

“Don’t be such a sissy – you probably deserved it” she replied from the kitchen, not looking up.

Hannah stifled her laughter long enough to answer her mother loudly, “Two whole days I couldn’t get him on the phone – of course he deserves it, scaring me like that.”

“Oh Hannah, you better stop – people are gonna think you two are married, the way you abuse that poor boy.”

I felt my heart stop and my eyes go wide. Susie, sitting on the couch immediately to my left, doubled over in laughter, her head between her knees. From her other side, Dave yelled, “Oh, gag me with a spoon – Hannah kissing a guy!”

She leaned over my lap, waving her fist in front of her brother’s face. “You can kiss this, buster!”

Behind me, I could hear my aunt muttering, “Oh my God...”

I glanced at from side to side and whispered, “I am so going to kill you guys. That was too close.”

Hannah slapped me, right on the spot she had punched, then in a lower voice and much more serious tone said, “You really did worry me.”

“Actually, I was only gone about thirty hours...”

“My mom will let me hit you again...”

“ ... and I called you as soon as I got home last night. We had to go see my grandpap.”

“Yeah, I get it. Sorry - I just didn’t know. Have you heard anything since yesterday?”

“Mom called them right before I left to come over here, and Grandma said he seems to be doing okay. They went to church and everything this morning.”

Aunt Janet called over, “Hey, how long ‘til kickoff?”

Hannah replied, “A few more minutes. I hate waiting for four o’clock games.”

“Okay - hey Joe, wanna come over here and try this for me?”

I asked, “What are you making?” when I got to the kitchen.

She held out a large spoon filled with brown liquid and said, “Pot roast. It’s got potatoes, baby carrots, pearl onions and garlic.”

I slid my lips over the spoon and let the broth sit in my mouth. “Hm. Pretty good. How much longer?”

“Probably an hour. Plan on eating at half-time.”

When I returned to the couch, with only the back of my head visible from the kitchen, Hannah ran her hand up the inside of my thigh and gave it a pinch. “Sucking up to my mom again, huh?”

“What, you want me to be sucking on something else?”

When her face broke out in a grin, Susie elbowed me from the other side and whispered, “Looks like she’s a little frisky today. Too bad you won’t be having the house to yourselves again.”

An hour later the Steelers were trailing fifteen to seven when Terry Bradshaw found himself underneath a pile of Cardinals defenders. As he hobbled to the sidelines, Dave kicked the coffee table. “Dammit! He’s been stinking the joint up today, but now we gotta go to the backup quarterback? We lost this one!”

I said, “C’mon, we’re only down a touchdown” even as I felt a lump in my stomach.

Kruczek came in and completed a couple of passes, but the Steelers failed to score as the half ended.

Aunt Janet yelled, “Supper’s ready! Hannah – go call your sister down from her room.”

Midway through the meal Dave said, “Hey Mom – wanted to let you know that Susie and I are going to the drive-in after the game.”

“Uh, okay – but remember, this is a school night.”

“I’ll be up by seven – no problem.”

She frowned and replied, “I’m more worried about you still being up in once you get to class.”

I asked them, “What’s showing?”

Susie spun around to me and smiled. “Monty Python...”

“... The Life of Brian“ Dave added.

“and, uh, Apocalypse Now.”

“Oh, I love Monty Python! The Holy Grail was great.”

Dave cried out, “She’s a witch!” and pointed his finger at Hannah, who stuck out her tongue in reply.

I asked, “What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?” then

laughed out loud as Dave replied, “African or European swallow?”

I turned to Hannah and explained, “Friday nights I’d go to my friend Matt’s lodge on campus to watch the show with him and his friends.”

She cocked her head and said, “You guys are weird.”

Susie put her hand on my arm. “You want to go with us, Joe?”

“Yeah...”

“But sweetie, what if we want to...”

Aunt Janet folded her arms and cleared her throat. “David Carter, what would you be doing in the car with Susie?”

“Nothing Mom – just kissing n’stuff. You know?”

“Believe me, I know.”

Hannah made this exaggerated frown and whined, “What about me?”

Their mom said, “Dave, take your sister – then I know you won’t be fooling around.”

“Yeah, okay – but we’re taking my car, Joe. It has four doors!” Donna then waved her hand over her head, but her brother shot back, “The car is full!”

I said, “Don’t worry - I’ll keep an eye on them, Aunt Janet.”

“Oh, what makes me feel much better.”

In a more serious tone, Hannah said, “We’re growing up, Mom.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Terry Bradshaw returned for the second half, but the Steeler offense still didn’t look any better and failed to score in the third quarter as well. Meanwhile, the Cardinals tacked on a pair of field goals and led twenty-one to seven entering the fourth.

Finally they saw signs of life, and had us hootin’ and hollerin’ and waving our towels as they marched down the field twice for touchdowns, cutting the deficit to only three points. Five minutes left in the game and the defense had to hold.

And hold they did. The Cardinals were forced to punt and Bradshaw hit some key passes. Everyone was screaming at the T.V. when Franco Harris was stopped at the three yard line – but it appeared to be an easy field goal with ten seconds left.

‘Three, two, one – win!’

Everyone was in a great mood as we prepared to head over to the drive-in. Aunt Janet said, “Hey Dave – there’s some lawn chairs out in the garage, and I’ll get you guys a couple of old blankets out of the closet.”

Ten minutes later Dave turned his car into the narrow gravel drive that led fifty yards down the hill to the ticket booth. I handed him a five from the backseat, and once he paid and we were inside we slowly made our way back up the hill, past the rows on our right, looking for an empty space.

I blurted out, “Over there!”

“Where?”

I leaned forward and extended my arm towards the windshield. “Two rows in front of the concession stand, a little bit on this side.”

Dave turned into the row and then swung wide to get his A.M.C. Matador into the space. Susie was looking out her window and said, “Be careful of the speaker post.”

“I know how to drive.”

“For two weeks?”

“I’ve driven before – I just didn’t have my own car.”

I interrupted to say, “Fight nice, kids. Now let’s get the stuff out of the trunk and get set up.”

Dave placed the two lawn chairs right in front of the bumper and I laid out the blankets in front of them.

It was starting to get dark, but cars were still filing in and the previews hadn’t started yet. After sitting on the blanket for only a minute or two, Hannah asked me, “You wanna go and get something to eat?”

“We just had supper like two hours ago – and I had thirds.”

“Oh! You can get me some candy. C’mon, walk with me.”

As we stood I asked the others sitting behind us, “Yunz want anything from the concession stand?”

Susie replied, “How about some popcorn?”

“No problemo.”

When we were out of ear-shot Hannah asked me, “Why didn’t you come to my last cross country meet?”

“I’m sorry, you didn’t say anything and I forgot about it.”

“Do I have to remind you?”

“It would help if I had a schedule.”

“Sure – I can do that.” She frowned. “You know - Mom didn’t come either. I think the only one watching me run was Larry.”

“Is he that...”

“Yeah, the dork. He never talks to me – always looks like he’s too scared...”

“Well, I know what that feels like...”

“I betcha he goes home every night and whacks off. You don’t still do that, do you?”

“Uh ... but how can I help it when the mere thought of your stirs...”

Just that second, as we neared the entrance to the building, I spotted shapes directly in front of me. Coming to a sudden stop to avoid a collision, I looked up and saw those perky boobs, the gorgeous smile, and those sparkling eyes...”Oh, hi Mandy – and Mrs. Kush. I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” I could feel my face flushing.

Mandy, drinks in hand, took a step back, her eyes flitting back and forth between me and Hannah. Her mom, holding a cardboard tray of food, said, “Don’t worry Joe, we didn’t spill anything. How you been doing? Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Fine. I’m back in school.” I felt Hannah’s hand slide past my palm. She then laced her fingers with mine, giving them a squeeze as Mandy’s eyes dropped down to observe. “Oh, uh - this is ... Hannah.”

Mandy smiled politely but still didn’t say a word. Mrs. Kush looked Hannah over and said, “Please to meet you. Say – weren’t you the one who went to the Pirates’ game with Jeff and them?”

“Yes, m’am.”

“Jeff was telling us about you. You seemed like a nice young lady. I’m very pleased to meet you.”

“Well thank you.”

Mandy glanced down and then started leaning away from the building. “Uh, bye Joe, see you again sometime.”

“Yeah, bye Mandy.”

I watched for a few seconds as she turned and walked away, her mom right behind her. Hannah whispered, “She’s very pretty.”

“Yes she is.”

Hannah tightened her grip on my fingers until I cringed. “You weren’t supposed to agree with me.”

I was able to pull away and flex my hand. “I already told you, I’m over her.”

Glancing down, she asked, “Was there anything stirring?”

“Noooo!“

“Okay, I forgive you – this time. Now kiss me.”

I slid my arm around her waist and lowered my lips to hers, but as soon as they touched I felt her tongue pressing forward. When mine made contact with hers she pulled back and smirked. “Betcha it’s stirring now.”

“Oh man - I don’t know what to do with you. Now tell me what you want to eat.”

“Let me see. How about a hot dog, and a Coke – and a box of Sno-Caps!”

“You know, your butt looks just fine the way it is – you don’t need to be adding anything to it.”

“Hush up – and get me a bucket of popcorn too.”

After I paid I picked up the two popcorns and pointed to the counter. “I’m not carrying all this stuff!”

When we made it back to Dave’s car I handed Susie her popcorn then sat down with mine. I was a gentleman and held Hannah’s Coke while she sat down with her food, but later when she was chewing on her hot dog, I reached for the box of Sno-Caps that she had sitting next to her leg - and she smacked my hand. “Get away, those are mine!”

“Not even a couple?”

“You should’ve bought your own box.”

“I’m not made of money – I thought we could share.”

“Then get a job.”

“Ouch.“

As the pain receded from where I was whacked on the side of the head, Susie said, “Yeah Joe – get a job. Treat your woman right.”

Dave said sternly, “Would you kids just settle down and behave? The movie’s coming on.”

Jesus was born in a manger – as was Brian. During the Sermon on the Mount, the guys in the back were having a hard time hearing Jesus.