Chapter 9

“Owwww!” Pain shot down my arm from where Hannah had punched me. I called out, “Aunt Janet—Hannah hit me!”

“Don’t be such a sissy—you probably deserved it,” she replied from the kitchen without looking up.

Hannah stifled her laughter just long enough to answer, “Two whole days I couldn’t get him on the phone—of course he deserves it, scaring me like that.”

Aunt Janet chuckled. “Oh, Hannah, you better stop—people are gonna think you two are married, the way you abuse that poor boy.”

My heart skipped a beat. Susie, sitting to my left, doubled over in laughter, her head between her knees. On the other side, Dave groaned dramatically. “Oh, gag me with a spoon—Hannah, kissing a guy?”

She leaned over my lap, waving a fist in front of her brother’s face. “You can kiss this, buster!”

Behind me, I heard my aunt mutter, “Oh my God...”

I glanced around, lowering my voice. “I am so going to kill you guys. That was too close.”

Hannah smacked the same spot she’d punched earlier. This time, her tone was more serious. “You really did worry me.”

“Actually, I was only gone about thirty hours...”

“My mom will let me hit you again...”

“ ... and I called as soon as I got home last night. We had to go see my grandpap.”

“Yeah, I get it. Sorry—I just didn’t know. Have you heard anything since yesterday?”

“Mom called them right before I left to come over. Grandma said he’s doing okay. They even went to church this morning.”

From the kitchen, Aunt Janet called out, “Hey, how long ‘til kickoff?”

“Few more minutes,” Hannah answered. “I hate waiting for four o’clock games.”

Aunt Janet’s voice carried back. “Okay—hey Joe, wanna come over here and try this for me?”

Curious, I walked to the kitchen. “What are you making?”

She held out a large spoon filled with rich brown broth. “Pot roast. Got potatoes, baby carrots, pearl onions, and garlic.”

I took the spoon and let the broth sit on my tongue. “Hm. Pretty good. How much longer?”

“Probably an hour. Plan on eating at halftime.”

As I returned to the couch, Hannah seized the opportunity to slide her hand up the inside of my thigh and give it a playful pinch. “Sucking up to my mom again, huh?”

“What, you want me sucking on something else?”

Her grin widened, but before she could answer, Susie elbowed me. “Looks like she’s a little frisky today. Too bad you won’t have the house to yourselves again.”

When the game started, I told Dave, “Ten wins in a row, going back to last season.”

It was still the first quarter when he replied, “Three turnovers and three penalties in their first twelve plays? That streak might not last much longer.”

It got worse in the second, when Bradshaw was down on the field.

I muttered, “Oh my God, That guy might have broken his leg, landing on him like that.”

Hannah squeezed my arm. “I don’t want to see the replay.”

As we watched Bradshaw get put on the stretcher to be wheeled off the field, I said, “C’mon, we’re only down a touchdown,” though a lump formed in my stomach.

Kruczek came in and completed a few short passes, but the Steelers failed to score as the half ended.

“Supper’s ready!” Aunt Janet called. “Hannah—go call your sister down from her room.”

As we ate, Dave spoke up. “Hey Mom, just so you know—Susie and I are heading to the drive-in after the game.”

Aunt Janet gave him a look. “It’s a school night.”

“I’ll be up by seven—no problem.”

She sighed. “I’m more worried about you staying up once you get to class.”

I turned to Susie. “What’s showing?”

She grinned. “Monty Python...”

“ ... The Life of Brian,” Dave finished.

“ ... and Apocalypse Now,” she added with a smirk.

I perked up. “Oh, I love Monty Python! The Holy Grail was great.”

Dave pointed at Hannah. “She’s a witch!”

Hannah stuck out her tongue at him.

Laughing, I asked, “What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

Dave didn’t miss a beat. “An African or European swallow?”

I turned to Hannah. “Friday nights, I’d go to my friend Matt’s lodge on campus to watch the show with him and his friends.”

She tilted her head. “You guys are weird.”

Susie patted my arm. “You wanna go with us, Joe?”

“Yeah...”

“But sweetie, what if we want to...”

Aunt Janet folded her arms and cleared her throat. “David Carter, what exactly would you be doing in the car with Susie?”

“Nothing, Mom—just kissing ‘n’ stuff. You know?”

“Oh, I know.”

Hannah exaggerated a pout. “What about me?”

Her mom smirked. “Dave, take your sister—then I know you won’t be fooling around.”

Dave groaned. “Fine, but we’re taking my car, Joe. It has four doors!”

Sarah waved a hand, but her brother shot back, “The car is full!”

I chuckled. “Don’t worry, Aunt Janet—I’ll keep an eye on them.”

She shook her head. “Oh, that makes me feel so much better.”

In a more serious tone, Hannah said, “We’re growing up, Mom.”

“Don’t remind me.”

As the second half started, I pointed at the screen and said, “What the hell?” as Bradshaw ran back on the field.

Dave quipped, “That must’ve been some magic pain pills they gave him.”

That didn’t stop the Cardinals from tacking on a couple more field goals and going up by fourteen points.

Then it began.

They had the ball for nearly eight minutes and faced fourth down and four to go near the Cards’ thirty, but instead of trying for a very long fifty-yard field goal, Greg Hawthorne ran the ball for five and kept the drive alive. On the second play of the fourth quarter, we were on our feet, towels waving, as Rocky Bleier ran it in for a touchdown.”

“Another touchdown to tie!” I yelled.

A couple possessions later, a punt return put the Steelers at the Cardinal thirty-nine. Third down, and Bradshaw hit a pass to Bleier, then on the next play Bradshaw hit Cunningham in the end zone.

When the extra point tied the game. Dave looked over and said, “Bradshaw is a beast, man.”

With five minutes left, the defense had to hold

And hold they did. The Cardinals were forced to punt, and when the wide receivers were double-teamed, Bradshaw hit the running back Bleier again for twenty-eight yards.

Everyone screamed at the TV when Bleier was tripped up at the twelve yard line—but it looked like an easy field goal with ten seconds left.

Three, two, one—win!

Everyone was in a great mood as we got ready to head to the drive-in. Aunt Janet called out, “Hey Dave—there are some lawn chairs in the garage. I’ll grab a couple of old blankets from the closet.”

Ten minutes later, Dave pulled into the narrow gravel drive leading to the ticket booth. I handed him a five from the backseat. Once inside, we cruised slowly up the hill, scanning the rows for a spot.

“There—over there!” I blurted.

“Where?” Dave asked.

I leaned forward, pointing. “Two rows in front of the concession stand, a little off to the side.”

Dave swung into the row, maneuvering his A.M.C. Matador into place. Susie, peering out her window, warned, “Watch the speaker post.”

“I know how to drive.”

“For two weeks?” she shot back.

“I’ve driven before—I just didn’t have my own car.”

I cut in, grinning. “Fight nice, kids. Now let’s get set up.”

Dave positioned the lawn chairs in front of the bumper while I spread out the blankets.

It was getting dark, but cars were still filing in, and the previews hadn’t started yet. After sitting on the blanket for only a minute, Hannah leaned in. “Wanna walk with me to get something to eat?”

“We just had supper like two hours ago—and I had thirds.”

“Oh! Then you can get me some candy. C’mon.”

As we stood, I turned to the others. “Yunz want anything from the concession stand?”

Susie chimed in. “Popcorn.”

“No problemo.”

Once we were out of earshot, Hannah asked, “Why didn’t you come to my last cross-country meet?”

I hesitated. “I’m sorry. You didn’t say anything, and I forgot.”

“Do I have to remind you?”

“It’d help if I had a schedule.”

“Fine, I’ll get you one.” She frowned. “Mom didn’t come either. I think the only one watching me run was Larry.”

“Is he that...”

“Yeah, the dork.” She sighed. “He never talks to me. Always looks too scared.”

I smirked. “I know the feeling.”

Hannah wrinkled her nose. “I betcha he goes home every night and whacks off. You don’t still do that, do you?”

“Uh...” My face burned. “How can I help it when the mere thought of you stirs—”

Before I could finish, I nearly crashed into someone. Looking up, I froze. Perky boobs, gorgeous smile, bright eyes...

“Oh, hi Mandy—Mrs. Kush. Sorry, I wasn’t looking.”

Mandy, drinks in hand, stepped back, eyes flicking between me and Hannah. Her mom, balancing a tray of food, smiled. “Don’t worry, Joe, we didn’t spill anything. Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’m back in school.” I felt Hannah’s hand slip into mine, fingers lacing together. She squeezed as Mandy’s gaze dropped to our hands.

“Oh, uh—this is Hannah.”

Mandy gave a polite smile but said nothing. Mrs. Kush studied Hannah. “Weren’t you the one who went to the Pirates’ game with Jeff and them?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Jeff told us about you. Said you were a nice young lady. Very pleased to meet you.”

“Well, thank you.”

Mandy shifted, backing away. “Uh, bye, Joe. See you around.”

“Yeah, bye, Mandy.”

I watched as they walked off. Hannah, still gripping my fingers, murmured, “She’s very pretty.”

“She is,” I admitted.

Her grip tightened until I cringed. “You weren’t supposed to agree.”

I flexed my hand free. “I already told you—I’m over her.”

Hannah’s eyes narrowed. “Was there anything stirring?”

“Noooo.”

“Okay, I forgive you—this time. Now kiss me.”

I wrapped an arm around her waist and leaned in, but the second our lips met, she slipped me a teasing bit of tongue. As soon as I reciprocated, she pulled back, smirking. “Betcha it’s stirring now.”

I groaned. “I don’t know what to do with you. Now tell me what you want to eat.”

“Let’s see ... a hot dog, a Coke ... and a box of Sno-Caps!”

“You know, your butt looks just fine the way it is—you don’t need all that.”

“Hush and get me a bucket of popcorn too.”

After I paid, I handed over the popcorns and pointed at the counter. “I’m not carrying all this.”

Returning, I passed Susie her popcorn then went around to sit on the blanket in front of the car. Being a gentleman, I held Hannah’s Coke while she settled in with her food. But when I reached for her box of Sno-Caps, she smacked my hand. “Get away! Those are mine.”

“Not even a couple?” I whined.

She stuck out her tongue. “You should’ve bought your own.”

“I’m not made of money. I thought we could share.”

“Then get a job.”

“Ouch.”

As I rubbed where Hannah had whacked me on the head, Susie grinned. “Yeah, Joe—get a job. Treat your woman right.”

Dave, exasperated, muttered, “Would you kids just settle down and behave? The movie’s about to start.”

Jesus was born in a manger—so was Brian.

During the Sermon on the Mount, the guys in the back struggled to hear Jesus.

“What did he say?”

“The sheep shall inherit the Earth.”

Hannah tapped me on the arm. “I thought you said these guys were funny.”

“I did. The last movie was hilarious.”

We sat quietly, watching for a while until Dave and Susie got up and headed to the car. I nudged Hannah. “It’s getting a little chilly. Do you wanna sit inside too?”

Susie turned back. “Uh—maybe you guys could wait fifteen or twenty minutes?”

Hannah smirked. “Why so long? It only takes Joe a minute or two.”

“Hey!” I snapped.

Dave groaned. “Oh man—now I have to wash my brain out with soap.”

Hannah grinned. “Why? Do I look that bad?”

“You weren’t the one I had an image of.”

I stretched out on the ground, and Hannah did the same, resting her head on my shoulder. Her fingers traced slow, absentminded patterns across my chest.

She murmured, “How can you do a comedy about the life of Jesus?”

“Well, actually, it’s the life of Brian. He’s just in the same place.” Then it clicked in my head. “You notice they’re not mocking Jesus or what He says—it’s His followers, and Brian’s, that they’re making fun of. It’s about how people were so desperate to find the Messiah that they couldn’t recognize Him even when He was standing right in front of them...”

“Huh.”

“ ... or that following Him would mean changing—like the healed leper who was mad because now he couldn’t beg anymore and had to get a real job.”

She propped herself up on one elbow to look at me. “Do you believe in God?”

I answered immediately. “Yeah, sure.”

“But you don’t go to church.”

I took a deep breath, choosing my words carefully. “I used to. Mom took me to Sunday School and church from the time I was little until I was, like, twelve.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing, really. I guess I just got bored with it. Dad never went, so Mom stopped going when I didn’t want to anymore. I still believe in God—I try to be a good person—but I never made religion a priority.”

She hesitated. “Do you think He likes what we’re doing?”

A shot of panic ran through me. “Why—do you wanna stop?”

“No,” she said quickly. “I was just wondering.”

I scrambled for an excuse. “Uhhh ... I know they say no one’s supposed to have sex until they’re married, but, you know, people fall in love. And we’ve only ever been with each other, so it’s not like we’re sluts or anything.”

“And we’re not about the sex,” she added.

“Right.”

“But we are still lying to our parents.”

I grimaced. “Ugh—I know. We’ll have to do something about that ... one of these days.”

We fell silent, watching the movie. Then, finally, she laughed at something.

I smirked. “Oh, that was funny?”

She grinned and patted my crotch. “Yes—’My friend, Biggus Dickus.’ I’ve got him right here.”

I groaned. “You are impossible.”

The movie ended with Eric Idle hanging on a cross next to Brian, serenading him with:

When the lights came up Hannah tugged on my shirt. “Hey, I gotta go pee. Walk with me up to the concession stand.” I glanced back at the car to see Susie cleaning Dave’s tonsils.

I smirked. “Guess they won’t be missing us.”

Hannah was lucky to be only second in the girls’ line, while I was able to march right into the men’s room without waiting.

On my way out, I spotted Mandy standing exactly where I needed to cut through. I glanced to the right, scanning for Hannah—nowhere to be seen.

Mandy smiled as I approached. “Hey, Joe. So ... how long have you two been going out?”

I hesitated. “Maybe six weeks. We met in July.”

Her eyebrows lifted slightly. “Wow, pretty quick. So ... she’s sixteen already?”

I shook my head, eyes dropping toward the ground. “No, not really. Fourteen.”

Mandy’s expression didn’t change, but something in her posture stiffened. “And her parents...?”

I looked up. “It’s not like that.”

Her eyes narrowed, lips pressing together before she bit the corner of her lip. “I don’t get it. It’s like ... you were waiting for me—but not for her?”

I swallowed hard. “Your parents said—”

Her tone sharpened. “Oh, I know what they said. But that doesn’t mean we couldn’t have snuck out ... done something.”

I blinked, caught off guard. “I didn’t know you wanted—”

She jabbed a finger toward me. “You never asked!”

My chest tightened. The air felt heavier, my throat dry.

“I’m sorry ... I just ... I was scared.”

Mandy looked away, shaking her head slowly. “Scared?” She exhaled sharply. “Never mind. You better run along before your better half catches you here. Wouldn’t want to do anything to mess up that little relationship of yours.”

She stepped aside, leaving space for me to pass, but her eyes stayed downcast as I walked by.

I waited just outside the main door. A minute later, Hannah joined me.

“I saw Mandy in line,” she said casually.

“Yeah—me too.”

She frowned. “You don’t sound too enthused.”

I exhaled. “We ... shared a few words. I’ll get over it.”

Hannah took my hand and led me back to the car. She popped her head inside and asked, “Is it safe? Are you guys done yet?”

Given the all-clear, she waved me in, and I climbed behind her. In the back seat, we had to huddle near the middle to see the screen between Dave and Susie. Hannah rested her head on my shoulder as the jungles of Vietnam erupted in flames to the sound of Jim Morrison singing.

A few minutes later, Martin Sheen sat alone in a hotel room, staring at the ceiling and wondering why the fuck he was there.

Soon, his character was off to HQ for a briefing—when I nudged Hannah and whispered, “Han Solo!”

“What? Where?”

“The dorky guy with the short hair and glasses—that’s Harrison Ford!”

It was over half an hour into the movie, and it felt like Sheen’s mission to take out Major Kurtz was just an excuse to showcase a surreal descent into chaos. To no one in particular, I muttered, “Heart of Darkness.”

Hannah tilted her head up. “What’s that?”

“A novel I read in high school, from around the turn of the century. It’s about a guy traveling up the Congo River in Africa in the late eighteen hundreds. He sees what the Europeans have done to the natives and starts questioning what we consider civilized and barbaric. Looks like Coppola just swapped the setting to Vietnam.”

She yawned. “Boor-ing.”

“My, you’re hard to please today.”

She flashed a devilish grin, then put a finger in front of her lips and whispered, “Shhh.”

Her head back on my shoulder, her hand drifted from my chest to my stomach as I pretended to stay focused on the movie. Soon, she pulled my shirt free from my belt, twirling her fingers through the hair below my belly button.

Those fingers kept moving south, and before long, she carefully undid my belt and unsnapped my pants, freeing me from my boxers.

A sharp scrape of her fingernail made me jerk. “Ouch! Be careful!”

Susie turned around. “What are you guys doing back there?”

Hannah stretched out to cover me. “Just look straight ahead and watch the movie!”

Susie chuckled and did as she was told.

With her head near my lap, Hannah seized the opportunity to tease me further—licking from base to tip before taking me between her lips. She bobbed while I leaned back, my breathing quickening. I reached to play with her hair and murmured, “My mom told me you might try to seduce me.”

She immediately stopped, sat up, and snapped, “What the hell? She said what?”

Susie’s head whipped around, and with me sitting there fully exposed, her eyes went wide, hands flying to her face as she squealed, “Oh my God!”

I scrambled to cover myself. “She told you not to look!”

Dave, still focused on the movie, glanced over in confusion. “Look at what?”

Even in the low light, I could see Hannah’s face turning bright red. “Forget all that—you tell me everything she said, right now!”

“Okay, calm down.” I sighed. “On the way home from the reunion a couple weeks ago, Mom said some of our aunts and uncles were concerned about how we were acting together. She told me to be careful, that you might try to seduce me, and she didn’t want me to get into trouble.”

“And why the hell would she think I’d try to seduce you?”

“She said...” I hesitated. ” ... she told me that a couple years ago you were caught with some older boy, and I guess they thought it was your fault.”

Hannah’s mouth fell open. “And you didn’t see fit to tell me about this?”

“I thought you’d be upset—like you are now—but then I kind of forgot about it until just now.”

Susie, still half-turned, narrowed her eyes at me. “Wait a minute...”

I realized I was still exposed and frantically stuffed myself back inside as she continued, “I thought those guys were having a reunion. What were your folks doing there as well?”

I sighed. “Um ... it was our reunion. Her mom and my mom are sisters. We’re first cousins.”

Susie stared for a moment before breaking into a grin. “Damn—you’re more of a kinky bastard than I thought.”

“Hey, I’m nothing compared to your boyfriend there. But it’s not like that. We just, you know, met and fell in love. I’d just as soon not be her cousin if it meant we could—like—get married someday, live happily ever after.”

Hannah’s expression softened. “So ... you’d marry me?”

I hesitated. “Well, not right now—” Oh shit. “I mean, you’d have to finish school n’at—but yeah.”

As Hannah pondered that, Susie turned to Dave and whispered, “He might be bigger than you.”

Dave groaned. “Shut up! It’s how you use it. He’s got, like, two weeks’ experience.”

Susie smirked and turned her attention back to the movie. Hannah curled up next to me again, resting her head on my shoulder, her arm wrapped around me.

After a minute or two, I whispered, “Are you going to finish me?”

She lifted her head and shot back, “No, I am not going to finish you. I don’t want to be blamed if your mom finds any stains on your underwear.”

“Please—don’t be that way. I don’t want you to be upset.”

“I’m fine. Just shut up and hold me.”

Those were the last words any of us spoke for a while. Before long, both girls were asleep.

“Hey Dave, what time is it?”

“A little after eleven.”

And Sheen still hasn’t found Brando out in the woods.

“This movie is taking fucking forever.”

Another twenty minutes crawled by before Dave spoke up. “Do you really want to stay ‘til the end? I got school in the morning, and both girls are out cold.”

“Nah, we can go if you want.”

Hannah stirred as Dave pulled out of the lot and headed down the gravel drive. Still half-asleep, she clung tighter to me.

When we stopped in her driveway, I gently nudged her. “Hey, wake up. You’re home.”

Two days later, Hannah looked ready to collapse as she crossed the finish line. I waited near the bleachers, watching as she lifted her hands off her knees and began pacing in slow circles, breathing deeply to steady herself.

She spotted me and walked over. “God damn twelfth place.”

“Wow—such language.”

“Bite me. It’s only Tuesday, and it’s already been a hell of a week.”

“Are you still...”

“Yes—and I was hoping to kick some butt today, but I just didn’t have it. I wanted to push coming down the stretch, and it wasn’t there.”

I reached out and rubbed her arm, trying to muster a reassuring smile. She leaned her head back, puckered up, and I glanced around before bending down to kiss her. “Better?”

“A little. Was Larry watching?”

I looked around again, then nodded. “Yep. He just turned away.”

“Maybe if he knows I’m taken, he’ll quit staring at me all the time.”

“Yeah, that’s an idea. You sure you won’t get in trouble for kissing me?”

“We’re not allowed off campus during school hours. Nothing wrong with a little display of affection. Kids are slobbering over each other in the hallway all the time.”

“Well, that’s good to know.” I gave her another quick peck on the lips.

“Hey, can we grab a bite before you take me home?”

“Isn’t your mom cooking supper?”

“Nah—she’s working three to eleven this week. Since Dave doesn’t have to pick me up, he’s probably over at Susie’s. So, it’s down to Mickey and Sarah and some leftovers. I can call home from the locker room.”

“You gonna take a shower while you’re in there?”

She put her hands on her hips. “What? You don’t like my manly aroma?”

When I pulled into the parking lot, Hannah smirked. “Oh my—so the man who couldn’t afford an extra box of Sno-Caps is taking me to Eat’n Park?”

I smiled and shook my head as we walked in. “You act like this is a fancy place. Anyway, I got forty bucks out of my dad’s sock drawer.”

She stopped short and spun around. “Wait—you what?”

I looked away. “He keeps a couple thousand in twenties and hundreds in the back corner of his top drawer, under a pile of socks. Sometimes, if I’m short and don’t want to ask, I slip out a twenty or two.”

I held up two fingers as the hostess approached, and she led us to a table in the corner.

Hannah settled onto the bench and flipped open the menu. “So you’re feeding me with stolen money?”

“You make that sound like it’s a bad thing.”

She muttered, “Joseph Long...” slowly shaking her head.

At that point, the waitress stepped up. “What can I get yunz today?”

I glanced at the menu again. “Club sandwich with egg and cheese.”

“Any sides or salad bar?”

“Nah, that’s it.”

“And you, Miss?”

“Philly cheese steak with mozzarella, onions, peppers, and mayo—with a side of fries.”

When the waitress left, I hesitated, then asked, “You still upset about Sunday?”

Hannah stiffened. “My mom had no damn—” She caught herself, hand coming to her chin as she closed her eyes. Her voice dropped. “ ... no right telling anybody about that.”

“Can I ask what happened?”

“No.”

“I mean—were you hurt or anything?”

Her jaw tightened. “It was just very personal, something that I am not proud of, and it doesn’t need shared. Understand?”

“Okay, that’s cool—but I can see how that’s something that sisters might talk about, like if your mom wanted advice. Couldn’t you see you and Sarah, twenty years from now, talking about your own kids?”

“Not really.”

“Huh?”

“If you haven’t noticed, we don’t get along too well.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like that’ll last forever. Right?”

She sighed. “That girl needs an attitude adjustment.”

“Isn’t that a little harsh? I know she went off on us that once—but on the other hand, Dave has been really mean to her sometimes. What’s the deal?”

Hannah leaned back against the booth. “As you know, the three of us all have different dads. For most of our lives, it was her dad, Tom, who was living with us.”

“Where’s your dad now?”

She looked down and slowly shook her head. “Florida. Married with a couple kids—but I’d rather not talk about him.”

“Sorry.”

“As I was saying, Sarah could always run to her daddy while the rest of us got in trouble.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, we’re getting our asses beat while she’s in the corner smiling. Then Tom died, Mom got married again, and Princess Sarah got knocked off her throne. She’s not taking well to being treated just like me and Dave.”

“Paybacks are a bitch.”

Hannah sighed. “Not that I want to hurt her, but yep.”

I shook my head. “The things I miss being an only child.”

Hannah smiled and pushed her plate toward me. “You want the rest of my fries?”

I stared at her plate. “How did you eat all of that sandwich already?”

“I don’t graze on my food like some people here.”

“Hey—I like to savor the taste.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, don’t take too long. You haven’t called home yet, and you still have to drop me off.”