Chapter 1

The party was just getting started when I opened the door to find Officer Bowers on the front porch. He'd shut down our parties a couple of times before, so we were on somewhat friendly terms.

"Everybody out!" I shouted down the hallway, "someone called the cops."

"They can't leave just yet." Officer Bowers said, "the procedure's changed. We've got to check everyone's ID, and if anyone under 21 has been served alcohol we've got to haul you in."

"Why me? I didn't buy it."

"Not just you personally, the whole fraternity. It's that new DA. He got elected to get rid of the frats, and he plans to do it by charging you with conspiracy to provide alcohol to minors."

"Crap." I didn't know what the penalty for that was, but it definitely sounded like I'd be spending at least the night in jail, along with the rest of Beta Kappa Epsilon.

Officer Bowers and his partner gave everyone a breathalyzer and checked their ID as they left. Of course, plenty of them were under 21. When the building finally cleared Officer Bower cleared his throat.

"Alright, everyone in the frat come outside and line up behind the squad car, hands behind your backs. I've got to follow procedures but I don't want to make this any harder than it has to be."

We all followed his instructions. I ended up standing between my roommate, Jesse Kim, and Joel Gould. Officer Bowers had the first guy in line, Steve Russell, put his hands on the hood of the squad car and patted him down. After going through his pockets, Officer Bowers had Steve lift up his right foot. He took the shoe off and inspected it with his flashlight. After Steve got his balance back, Officer Bowers peeled off his sock and turned it inside out before lying it inside his show. He repeated the procedure and then turned to the rest of us.

"It might make this whole process go a little quicker if you boys would go ahead and take your shoes and socks off."

Both Jesse and I were wearing flip-flops, so it didn't take us long to comply. As it was early March and the ground was cold, I kind of wished we were allowed to keep them on, though.

Officer Bowers had brought an extra supply of handcuffs with him, and had everyone cuffed and searched by the time the paddy wagons got there. True to his word, he didn't make it harder than it had to be, and he left the cuffs pretty loose.

One by one, we were led across the rough asphalt street and stuffed into the back of the wagons. My feet ended up sandwiched underneath Joel's.

"Sorry, I don't have any room to move," Joel explained.

"Don't worry, you're actually keeping my feet warm," I said. "Besides, I bet you're enjoying this." Joel had accidentally outed himself to the whole fraternity by popping a boner during a pledge activity that involved nudity, and it eventually came to light that he got turned on by guys' bare feet.

"Yeah, actually."

"I guess I'll have to remember not to drop the soap." I was trying to make light of the whole situation.

"Come on, you mean you've never even thought about doing it with a guy?"

"Well, I guess it doesn't count if you're in jail." In fact, I had secretly wanted to try gay sex. Maybe jail would be an opportunity to do it. Of course, there was also the possibility that I'd end up getting raped to death by the Aryan Brotherhood.

"That's the spirit."

We got to jail, had our mug shots and fingerprints taken, and were allowed to call my parents. Fortunately, mine were angry at the DA rather than me, and promised that they would post my bail as soon as possible. Joel, Jesse, and I ended up in a cell with Joel's roommate, Sean Fitzpatrick. I tried to go to sleep on the hard metal bed, but I ended up staying awake the whole night.