Chapter 19

Doug spent his morning in his office, wracking his brain. He needed to find a way to end this, not just for his own safety and that of his family, but also for the child he was trying to father.

The key, he thought, was information. He lacked enough data to make a decision, to even make plans. He needed info.

JJ's crew had finished the install of the UPS setup and had successfully routed all the camera feeds to the central monitoring station so he finally had his office back. He was online, doing random searches on whatever he could think of, looking for inspiration. It was when he sat there, out of ideas and staring at the photos on his desk that inspiration struck.

The photo was of his LRS team and a stray thought, a wish that they were there with him, to bounce ideas off of, to discuss the issues and figure out ways to deal with any problems that might arise. Those bull sessions, often lasting late into the night, were a luxury that he missed. They would pull one of the sessions whenever there was enough time between receiving order and the actual jump off time for a mission.

He needed that interaction, and he needed people who thought like him, who complemented his own skill set. He needed to go home, his other home. He was going back to Fort Bragg, North Carolina.

First though, he needed to deal with the FBI agents arriving in less than an hour. He also needed to wait until this thing with JJ was done and he could see Lane again. He had to assure himself that she was still his.

The interview with FBI Agent Monroe was a bust, at least as far as discovering new information. Monroe was a skilled interrogator, but even the best cannot extract new info that just doesn't exist. Doug told him of his plan to go back to his military roots and assured him that he would let him know if he found out anything useful.

Dunleavy and Moore, after greeting him, stood back and let Monroe dictate the pace of the interview. When it was time to leave, both gave him their personal cell phone numbers and reminded him that they would be at the Miami office until further notice, directing the local investigation.

JJ came back that night, knocking on the door just after ten and greeting him with a searing kiss. Doug was having doubts, but there was no doubt that he still wanted this, wanted her. They made it to the bedroom in record time, managing once more than the previous attempt, ending when JJ left at three the following morning, this time stealing away with a smile and a wave. It had been passionate and very sensual, but the electricity that had passed through them the night before, that thrill of the forbidden, had been missing. It was still hot and steamy, but more relaxed.

Doug, exhausted, was asleep almost before she left the apartment but his dreams were uneasy. He dreamt that he was literally chained to both JJ and Lane, and each one was pulling him in a separate direction, each begging him to come with her. The longer it went on, the more impassioned the pleas, and the larger JJ's stomach became, ballooning out to startling proportions.

The third evening was different, Doug refused to rush back to the bedroom, insisting that they talk first. Last night had been intense and the sex had been good, but the initial connection he had on the first night seemed muted somehow, and his guilt after waking this morning had been more intense.

"JJ, talk to me. Tell me what you are thinking, what you are feeling." he pled, holding tight to her hand.

JJ's expression was a mirror of his own emotional torment.

"I love you Doug, and I wanted this, to experience this. But..."

"It's not what you dreamed?" Doug asked softly.

She shook her head. "It is good, the sex I mean, and the first night was magic. I feel closer to you than ever, but if it were not for the baby we are creating together, I would not have come tonight. I love her so much, Doug. She is sacrificing so much to let me do this, and I have to carry through, I have to make it work or that sacrifice is for nothing. I hate that this is going to change us though, sex always does."

"JJ, you said what I feel too. I adore you, have loved you forever, but I love Lane. I am in love with Lane. This was a dream come true for me, but as much as I love you, it is not the same, we do not have the same connection that I have with her."

"Doug, I still want a baby. I still want your baby."

"And we will. One way or another, you will have our child and we will love it, all four of us. JJ, this is the last night though. After this, we let the doctors take over. I can't do this to Lane and you can't do this to Christine."

She just nodded, but she managed cheeky grin. "Let's make it a good one then. Yours will be the last live cock I get to play with after all!"

They made love slowly, passionately, savoring this last time together. When it was over they shared their tears and talked quietly about the future. This had brought them even closer together, but had forever banished the magical fantasies they both held. They were brother and sister, bonded through blood and tears and the love of Doug's sister, but never again lovers.

Before she left, she shared a shower with Doug. It was a happy, friendly, and intimate event, but the sexual component was gone. It was as much symbolic as it was physical, each leaving the last traces of this interlude behind them.

Doug called Lane, not caring what time it was, only knowing that he had to talk to her, had to tell her.

"Baby ... I love you." he whispered when he heard her sleepy voice.

"Doug? What time ... doesn't matter, I love you too!" she said groggily. "How do you feel?"

"Sad, happy, I don't know how to explain it. You were right about the fantasy, we were never meant to be. It would never be like it was in our dreams. But I am afraid too, that this has damaged what you and I have. I can't lose you."

"Doug, you idiot. This was not about losing me, it was about clearing the decks. It was to prove to you that JJ was not some ideal that you had to strive for. I wanted this, right here, this call." she said fondly, her voice warm and loving.

"I need to see you. I need to look in your eyes."

"Twenty minutes, Tiger."

Lane arrived with a bag in hand and wearing a long jacket, almost a trench coat. She stepped through the door and slid immediately into Doug's lap, clenching him to her as though she hadn't seen him in months.

Doug breathed a huge sigh of relief when she came into his arms, and just held her as she sobbed against his chest. He just held her, placing little kisses on her forehead, whispering over and over again, "I love you."

When Lane's tears stopped and she was able to catch her breath, she grabbed Doug's face in both hands and pulled his face to her, locking eyes with him and she searched for something. When her face softened and a smile crept in to draw the corners of her mouth upward, Doug felt as if he had been given a reprieve, a stay of execution.

"So it's true then. Good." Lane nodded, her smile growing wider. "I hope you enjoyed it, Doug Ramos, because from now on, you are mine and only mine."

"I was already yours, baby, I never would have left you for another woman, not even JJ."

"I had to be sure. Christine had to be sure. Hell, even JJ had to be sure, that is why they all agreed to this. Now, enough talking." Lane slid off his lap and opened up her trench coat, letting it slide off her shoulders on to the floor. Beneath the coat, she was wearing a t-shirt that Doug recognized as his, and a very sheer, very brief pair of panties.

Doug's eyes went wide as his eyes traced down her body.

"I didn't want to take the time to get all dressed up. I just grabbed my emergency go bag that I keep packed for sudden trips and jumped in the car. Oh ... you might want to call Intrepid, I think I gave the security guys the slip." she blushed and smiled at him, striking a pose, and thrusting out her perky breasts.

"Fuck 'em!" Doug said, reaching for her. He snagged her wrist, pulling her towards him until she gave in and threw her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his.

They were wakened in the morning by the phone, Doug had turned off the alarm clock before they fell asleep. He rolled over and tapped his tablet, taking the call on speaker.

"Doug, will you and Lane come to breakfast?" Christine's voice was very subdued, almost hesitant.

"Of course, Chris. We all need to get together and talk."

"Call her, Doug. Tell her that breakfast is served in an hour, okay?"

"Christine, I am here." Lane spoke up before Chris could disconnect.

"Oh! Well, that makes things easier." Christine sounded happier, relieved.

"We will be over in a half hour, Chris. We both need to shower."

JJ answered the door, smiling at Doug but seeming hesitant with Lane, unwilling to meet her eyes. Lane, with a smile, stepped forward and wrapped her arms around the girl, kissing her on the cheek.

"I am surprised you don't hate me." JJ said, looking uncomfortable.

"We talked about this, remember? No matter what happens, no recriminations, no guilt, and no apologies. For what it's worth, things turned out exactly as I hoped, well, except we don't know if you are pregnant or not."

JJ rubbed her stomach thoughtfully.

Christine walked up and put her arm around JJ, her hand slipping over to join JJ's on her spouse's stomach. Lane gave Doug's sister a kiss on the cheek as well, then stepped back and took Doug's hand.

"Let's go sit down. No sense standing the door way to do this." Chris said, leading them to the kitchen.

Christine had made a big skillet of eggs, bacon, potatoes, and cheese, serving it up in big bowls with toast and juice on the side.

"You know, it's funny." Christine said, laying her fork aside and resting her chin in her hands. "The last few days, I realized that I was partly to blame for this whole mess. I was pretty insecure back then, hell, I still am. If I had handled it better, Doug would not have had that forbidden fruit appeal."

Lane nodded thoughtfully, then turned to JJ. "JJ, can you tell us what you are feeling? What you are thinking?" Lane asked as they ate.

"Doug and I talked last night. I guess I had this candle burning for him, some left over feelings from when we were in school. I still love him, almost as much as I love my wife, but ... it's weird, you know? The way I feel about him is not how I feel for Christine, there was passion but no romance in the last few nights. Doug is a love of mine, but not my love, not my life."

"Exactly! Sure, I had fantasies of being with JJ. But she is not my lover, she isn't my future. I am in love with you, Lane. When I think about how I want things to be, I see only you. I have to admit though, I am praying that you take, JJ. I am really looking forward to being an uncle."

"Will you still go to the clinic, just in case?" JJ asked, laying her hand on his.

"Of course. Nothing is changed, I still want to help."

"You know, I orchestrated this whole thing, and I was scared to death." Lane admitted. "But now that it is over, now that these two have gotten it out of their systems, I am over the moon." She smiled brightly at all of them.

"It won't be easy, for a while anyway." Christine mused, looking around the table. "I can't say that I was not jealous, but the look on JJ's face when she came home ... well, I think I have made peace with this. Don't be surprised if I am a little twitchy for a while, Doug. You are my brother and I love you, but JJ is still my life."

"Well, Christine, if it will make you feel better, we can leave these two out here to do the dishes and you and I can go back to your room, even the score a bit!" Lane wagged her eyebrows and her, licking her lips and then grinned evilly.

Christine looked surprised and then, when she saw the shock on JJ's face, started laughing.

"It would serve them right!"

"Wait ... you and Chris? How ... when ... you know what? I don't even want to know. If that is what it takes to make things right between us, I won't bitch." Doug said, shaking his head.

"I told you I experimented in college ... what did you think that meant?" Lane laughed, poking Doug in the ribs.

Doug stared at her for a moment, then shook his head and smiled. Turning to glance at his sister and JJ, he took a deep breath and returned his gaze to Lane.

"Now that your Machiavellian machinations have come to fruition, wow, that was a mouthful, I have something to ask and I am not going to be put off again." he said firmly, taking her hand in his.

Lane's eyes went wide, her other hand coming up to cover her mouth. She looked as if she were going to protest, but she let out a little sob instead.

"I can't get down on one knee, but I can show you this." He pulled the small box from his pocket and managed to get the top flipped open.

"Lane Parker, I love you more than life itself. I can't imagine going on without you in my life and I want to show you just how much you mean to me, how much I care. Will you be my wife?"

The trip to Fort Bragg was postponed until after his appointment at the Fineman clinic and, much to Doug's disappointment, Lane decided not to go. She needed to fly to Seattle to clear up an issue there for Christine, and it would better to get it taken care of as soon as possible.

Carol was coming along, of course, and so was Fillipe Santiago, one of JJ's security people. They were taking a charter to Fayetteville and renting a van to get out to the base.

Once they landed at the airport, it was a quick trip up Interstate 95 to Bragg Boulevard, and from there it was a straight shot all the way to Fort Bragg itself. Their first stop was at the Post Security so Carol, Fillipe, and Doug could secure their firearms. Carrying concealed on a federal installation was illegal, and he didn't want to get them off on the wrong foot.

If they were not safe on the home territory of the 82nd Airborne, the 75th Rangers and the home of the Special Forces, then they wouldn't be safe anywhere.

Once that was done, it was over to the Post Locator's office. The civilian clerk behind the desk was apologetic, but firm.

"We cannot give out information on base personnel, no matter who is asking. What we can do is look to see if people you know are here and then contact their unit. The way it works is that you give us a list of names, ranks, and serial numbers if you have them. We can check and if the names match people who are assigned to the post, we can contact their unit. If they know you, then can come down here to meet with you. This will all take place in another office so you won't actually know for sure unless we get permission to tell you. See? It keeps us out of hot water, keeps the soldier's information safe, and helps you in the process."

Doug was effusively grateful for the help and, after a half hour of wracking his brain, he gave her a list. He had written down the names and ranks of a dozen people he remembered from his unit, and had even noted which of them may have been promoted. He knew, for example, that his old First Sergeant had been bucking for Master Sergeant.

Then he waited. And waited.

He was beginning to lose hope, thinking that either the people he knew were gone, dead or out of the military, when a tall, perfectly turned out Major strode through the door, his voice booming in the small office.

"Where the hell is Sergeant Ramos and my fucking AAR?"

When the man stopped and whipped off his maroon beret, scanning the room, his eyes stopped on Doug and grew wide, blood draining from his face.

"Holy shit Ramos! You look like hell."

"Good morning, sir." Doug replied, grinning at the man. "Excuse, me, Good morning MAJOR!"

"Ah, your eyes are as sharp as always. God damn, it is good to see you up and around. When we loaded you on the plane for Germany, I honestly didn't think I would ever see you again."

The man was, or had been anyway, Captain Anthony Bradenton, commanding officer of his unit in Afghanistan.

"I noticed the raspberry beret, Major. You going ROAD?" The maroon berets were only worn by the men and women of the 82nd Airborne and 101st Airborne divisions. Rangers, who once wore black berets, had switched to tan colored berets when the Army, in Doug's opinion, got pussy-fied and politically correct, allowing everyone to wear a beret.

It was, in his mind, like a 'Participation' trophy given to small children so they wouldn't feel bad about not being a winner. The Army had caused a lot of bad feelings in the Ranger community by co-opting the black beret, the traditional Ranger color, and giving it to cooks and clerks like some booby prize.

The general hierarchy of color was green for the Special Forces, tan for the Rangers and maroon for the Airborne, though the Rangers and Special Forces troops had long argued about primacy. The rest of the Army, the legs, wore black berets now.

ROAD was an acronym for Retired On Active Duty, and was often applied to men who took a cushy slot in their last years. Since the Major was an ex-Ranger Company Commanding Officer wearing an Airborne beret, asking him if he was ROAD was a friendly jibe.

"I wish. When I got the leaf, they assigned me to fucking Guam, of all places, as an Army Liaison to the Air Force, if you can believe it. I pulled in every favor, pulled every string, and finally threatened to retire before getting a berth with the S3 shop at 18th Airborne Corps. It's no Ranger company, but at least I can still jump."