Chapter 18

Dinner that night was more relaxed than Doug had feared. He had been trying to give Christine and JJ some space to work on their issues and he found himself watching them every time he let his mind wander. It was almost amusing because he saw Christine watching him, presumably to see if he was treating JJ differently, and JJ watching Lane to see if this whole thing was causing problems between her and Doug.

Christine and JJ were acting like their old selves and, if anything, being a bit more attentive with each other. It made Doug glad when they would smile at each other, or reach out and just touch.

Conversation started slow, a recitation of what had gone on in their lives for the last couple of days. Doug made sure and gave Christine a full accounting of his discussion with the FBI and even invited her and JJ to sit in on his meeting the next day if they had time.

Things went from casually relaxed to a bit more tense when Lane piped up as they were enjoying an after-dinner drink.

"So ... I have set up an appointment for Doug at Fineman. There is some screening process they have to go through first, genetic markers, and the like." She smiled at everyone around the table as if this were some everyday occurrence.

Christine and JJ both swiveled their heads to look first at each other, then both looking at Doug. He had a look on his face like a deer in the headlights, not sure what response was expected, so he smiled. A little uneasily, but it was a genuine smile.

"You do still want to do this, don't you, Doug?" JJ asked, obviously concerned.

"My only concern was Lane." he admitted, turning to smile at his lady. "At the time, we had just started dating and I was worried about how she would react. Now that I know she is okay with it, I have no reservations. I love you both and you will make fantastic parents."

Both women seemed to sag in their chairs, as if finally being relieved of an unbearable burden.

Lane was not through dropping bombshells though and she smiled at everyone before speaking again. "I know I am the new kid on the block, but I've spent time talking to each of you. You know I love Doug." She paused, reaching over to grab his hand. "But I want you to consider something. Think it through before you react. "I think this needs to happen soon. Maybe not the part where you become pregnant, JJ, but I want him to put some of his swimmers on ice. If Utah taught me anything, it is that life is precious, that we should grab it and wring every precious second from it while we can."

She paused, her expression serene, but her eyes flashing with some inner fire. "I also learned something from the men that Doug killed. Until this is settled, I am not going to feel safe or secure. If, god forbid, Doug should get killed, you would be able to still have his baby, and so would I."

Christine gaped and turned white as a sheet while JJ turned beet red, her eyes flashing with anger. Doug just felt faint.

JJ was the first to speak, her teeth clenched and her hands gripped into fists on the table top.

"Doug has made it through worse that these shit bags can throw at him. He will live through this, he has to live through this!" her anger seemed to disappear and tears filled her eyes, overflowing and trailing down her cheeks. "He has to..."

Christine looked at her wife with shock, then compassion, gathering JJ into her arms and holding her, whispering in her ear as she stroked her hair. Her eyes met Doug's across the table and she nodded once, an abrupt shake of the head up and then down, before returning all of her attention to JJ.

Lane was watching Doug, seeing his face go through a gamut of emotion. There was disbelief and defiance, then acceptance and finally, as he turned away from his sister and towards Lane, love and compassion.

Lane slipped out of her chair and into Doug's lap, burying her face in his shirt.

"I shouldn't have surprised you like that, Tiger. But it's true. It's one of the things I wanted to discuss with you, before we have that other talk."

Doug couldn't speak. His mind was filled with the fear that he was going to break all of their hearts. He was up against something he couldn't fight, something he couldn't get his hands on, and he had been aware of his own mortality for a long time. Gone was the ignorance and invulnerability of youth, burned away in the heat of battle. He could and would die someday, and maybe sooner than he liked.

When everyone had calmed down, JJ went to Lane and wrapped her arms around the tiny woman, whispering in her ear. She drew Lane into the living room, leaving Christine and Doug at the table.

"You sure know how to pick them, Doug."

"Me? You hired her!" he quipped, shaking his head.

"I should have known, when she asked so many questions. She has been my best, my sharpest investigator and trouble shooter for the last five years. She sees connections that others miss, find solutions to problems others think are insoluble. I should have guessed that she was just a little too interested in the baby issue."

"I tried to ask her to marry me." Doug said into the silence.

Christine just looked at him, one eyebrow raised.

Doug shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "She wouldn't let me ask, said that too many things were unsettled, but that she knew where we were headed and asked me to be patient. What could I do?"

"Doug..." she started to say something, then paused, looking away. "Want some coffee?" Doug knew she had chickened out, backed away from something that was bothering her, but he was willing to give her some time if she needed it. Alone among the four of them, her life had been calm and ordered, her future firmly in her grasp until the attack in Utah. He thought she was still reeling from that, still coming to grips with what he already know; that they had gotten very lucky.

"I would love some, Chris." he answered, smiling sadly at her.

"Tiger, can you open the apartment for me? I have some brochures I picked up at the clinic and I wanted to show them to JJ and your sister." Lane had come back into the kitchen and laid her hand on his shoulder.

Doug keyed the locks on the apartment door without hesitation, covering her hand with his for a moment before turning back to Chris.

They chatted about inconsequential things for another half hour before Doug decided it was time to go. He was turning to see if Lane was ready when she walked into the kitchen again and sat at the table.

"You about ready, honey?" he asked.

"You go ahead, Tiger. I want to talk to your sister for a bit, okay?"

Doug just shrugged. He was not about to get any further in the middle of this if he could help it, so he gave his girlfriend a kiss and headed back to his own apartment. Carol was just leaving as he came through the door, an odd look on her face.

"Everything okay, Carol?"

"Yep. Stella called and you are covered here, so I am going to go home for tonight. I'll be back in the morning."

Doug just nodded and waved, navigating his chair back towards his room, his mind already looking forward to a soak in the Jacuzzi tub while he waited for Lane.