Chapter 1

Do you believe that a single moment can change a life? That an instant, a split second, can alter destiny? I do and, if you let me tell you my story, you may just believe too.

My sister Becky was five years older than me, she was nineteen, and sometimes I thought that she didn’t even know that I existed, but I adored her. My mom said I started following her around the house the day I began walking. I was the adoring little brother and she was the annoyed older sister, used to being a pampered only child and now faced with a younger sibling who was taking her parents’ attention.

My mom had a really bad pregnancy with Becky, and the doctor told her that the scarring in her uterus meant she would probably never have another child. When Becky was five, mom got pregnant with me and even though I caused her a lot of grief, I made it through and was delivered by C-section. The scarring from her first pregnancy had scarred her womb so badly that they had even considered aborting me.

Becky had never been cruel to me, preferring to simply ignore me unless our parents made her interact at all. Even as we got older and Becky had to babysit, she would simply pretend that I wasn’t there unless I did something to annoy her.

I don’t think her reaction to an unwanted sibling was the underlying cause of my almost crippling shyness, but it certainly didn’t help. As I got older I preferred books to people, and spent as much time in my room as I was allowed. I wasn’t comfortable around the neighborhood kids, didn’t have any friends from school and was, as far as most people were concerned, just a bit ‘odd’.

I got good grades in school, never really struggling with my classes, but I never raised my hand, never volunteered when a teacher asked for someone to answer a question. I talked to no one, even eating my lunches by myself, watching but not participating in the daily activities.

It wasn’t a self-image issue, or not completely. I was a decent looking kid and fairly well put together. I could have played sports and probably done well if the thought of actually having to interact with my teammates hadn’t filled me with dread. Even sedate activities like the chess club made me feel queasy.

I remember that I always felt disconnected from people around me. We all spoke the same language, but I always felt like there were subtexts, nuances that I just couldn’t understand and it made me nervous. I didn’t dislike people, individually, I just couldn’t muster up the nerve to break through that barrier and actually get to know any of them.

Things started to change for me, a bit anyway, when I found the joy of running during my physical education class in sixth grade. There was something primal, something satisfying, about pounding the pavement for so long that I was exhausted. Running was a solitary exercise, perfect for me, and I think I got hooked on the endorphins that came with a hard workout.

Puberty kicked in about that time as well, and I found myself almost shooting up, hitting five foot, eleven inches and one-hundred, seventy-five pounds by the last quarter of my eighth-grade year. I spent many an hour out running, just putting one foot in front of the other, mile after mile. There was something visceral about the wind in my face, the road in front of me and it was like I had a bubble of peace around me as I ran.

Eighth grade was an uncomfortable time for me for several reasons. I had discovered girls and, it seemed, they had discovered me. I had actually had a couple of girls, early in the year, stop me to talk in the hallways between classes.

Try and picture this: I was almost six feet tall, I had been running and exercising religiously for two years. I had black hair and a light olive complexion, Dad being of Greek ancestry and Mom being of Black Irish decent, I had taken after my father and even got his good skin, much to my relief. I wouldn’t say I was a handsome kid, but not bad to look at, and though it had always made me nervous, I got my share of looks from the girls at school. The thought of actually talking to a girl made me nauseous.

Now, picture Carla Peters. She was five foot, six inches tall, probably a hundred and twenty pounds of gorgeous, red-headed cheerleader with a smile that would light up a room. She had the nicest ass in school and a set breasts that would make any teen’s mouth water. She was also an ‘A’ student and as nice as could be to everyone around her. And she stopped me in the hall to talk.

Yeah, it was a disaster. She had actually stepped up and laid a hand on my chest to get my attention since I tended to walk from class to class with my head down, unwilling to meet the gaze of the other students in the hallway.

“You’re Dave Baros, right? You look very fit, and we are desperate to find someone who will be on the cheer squad. We need someone strong for some of the routines, pyramids and stuff like that. Interested?” She had a sweet voice, and I clearly remember getting an instant erection and an almost overwhelming need to throw up. I remember pushing past her and dashing to the boy’s bathroom to hurl, but not much else.

Later, years later, Carla would tell me that she remembered my eyes had gotten really wide, I turned white as a sheet and ran off, though she didn’t know where. She did admit that she saw the tent in my jeans and had joked with a friend later that it looked like I had stuffed a small dog down the front of my pants.

Smooth was not an adjective that was ever applied to me in those days.

Carla became a favorite fantasy of mine. I would relive the feeling of her hand on my chest many times in the coming year. My other fantasy, my most secret crush, was on Becky, my sister. It shamed and excited me, but Becky had grown into a sultry, sexy woman and I spent many, many showers wondering what she looked like under her clothes.

Her hair was dark like my parents and like mine, but it hung to her waist and was a lustrous, silky mass so black it almost appeared blue in the right light. She had fantastic, olive skin and a set of huge, gravity-defying and mouth-watering, breasts that sat high and proud on her chest. Her thin waist swelled gently into a set of hips that just begged to be grabbed and an ass that made her as sexy going away as she was walking towards you.

She had inherited my mother’s good looks, with high cheekbones, gently arched brows and a set of luscious lips that drove the boys crazy. She had always taken great pains with her appearance but had never succumbed to the prima-donna attitude that some pretty girls in school seemed to adopt. She was a genuinely nice person to almost everyone who knew her. Except for me, of course, but even with me she wasn’t mean or cruel, simply indifferent.

The moment when things changed, when my world was flipped upside down and everything went crazy, was one of the most embarrassing, mortifying incidents in my short life. Becky knocked on my door.

I was laying on my bed, my dick in hand, stroking to some fantasy I can’t recall at the moment, when Becky knocked at my bedroom door. I guess I hadn’t closed the door tightly because her knock popped the door open and let it swing wide.

“Dave, Mom said you need to ... oh my god!” Becky stood in the door way, her eyes wide and her hand over her mouth. Her gaze was locked on my cock and time seemed to freeze, to stand still for several moments.

I had been ready to blow and when the door swung open, my orgasm hit and I started to spurt. What I remember most about that moment was the way her eyes tracked the trajectory of that first rope of cum, arcing from the tip of my cock, up into the air at least three feet, and then coming back to splash on my chest.

I panicked, grabbing my pillow and slamming it over my groin, a part of me quailing at the thought of the rest of my cum spurting all over the pillow case, but mostly feeling the shame of being caught, horrified at the expression on my sister’s face.

Becky looked back over her shoulder at the hallway, then quickly stepped inside my bedroom and closed the door behind her. She leaned up against the door for a moment and took a big breath. I was scrambling to cover myself and I could feel the blood rushing to my face, my cock wilting in shame.

There was a minute or two of silence, I was terrified at her response and she just stared at me, her eyes locked on mine.

“Um ... Dave? You really should lock your door if you are going to do that. Not that there is anything wrong with masturbating, but you know, I don’t think Mom wants to see that.” She giggled, a smile on her face. She stepped forward, her expression changing, and her voice dropped to a whisper.

“When did all of this happen?” she asked, a sweeping gesture seemed to encompass my whole body, as if she was seeing me for the first time.

“I knew you ran a lot so you were probably in decent shape, but damn! You are totally buff now, and...” her voice trailed off and she blushed. “Jesus, Dave, did you always have a huge cock?”

“Um...” my witty banter skills were legendary, if by legendary you meant non-existent. This was no exception, and I was absolutely mortified that she had caught me, and totally speechless that she had actually said something about my cock.

“Stand up.” Becky ordered, quirking an eyebrow at me. “I want to see. Don’t be embarrassed, I am your sister.”

“No way! God, Becky, this is embarrassing enough. Please go!”

“Dave, stand up. I want to see.” she was strangely insistent, and I felt myself getting hard again, though I was still covered by the sticky pillow. I don’t know what made me comply, what made me overcome my shyness, but I stood up, cum still dripping from my chest and the pillow covering my groin, and let her look.

“Drop the pillow, Dave.” she ordered, stepping closer.

When I tossed the pillow back on the bed, Becky gasped.

“Jesus Christ, Dave! What the hell happened to my geeky, mousy little brother? You are a fucking Adonis with a horse cock!” She began laughing, though it wasn’t a cruel laugh, more delighted than anything.

“I don’t get it. Last week you were ... just damn, Dave. Why don’t you have a stable of girls beating down your door?” She shook her head, tearing her eyes away from my genitals and meeting my confused gaze. She seemed to see something there because her expression softened.

“I’m sorry, Dave, I didn’t mean to embarrass you. You can get cleaned up. Look, when you are dressed, Mom wants you to take out the garbage, but after that, come up to my room. Let’s talk, okay?” Becky seemed genuine, like she really wanted to talk to me. She had never, even once, allowed me to enter her room and now she had invited me.

Becky turned and, with a wink, left the room and closed the door behind her. I quickly stripped the pillow case off the pillow and used the dry side to wipe the cum from my chest and threw on a jock strap and my usual baggy sweats. Slipping my feet into some flip-flops, I grabbed a fresh pillow case from the hall closet and buried the dirty one deep in the clothes hamper in the bathroom.

I knocked on Becky’s door a few minutes later, heard her say for me to come in and close the door behind me. Her room was half again as large as mine and was dominated by a large, four-post canopy bed. Her walls held photographs and a couple of movie posters. It smelled ... well, girly. You know what I mean, of perfume and makeup and that hot hair smell you get when you blow-dry your hair?

Her makeup table, backed by a large, lighted mirror, was strewn with dozens of little bottles and tubes. Mysterious compacts, lipstick, brushes and other unidentifiable bits of lady junk.

Becky motioned to the chair in front of her makeup table, then perched herself on the bed, sitting crossed legged.

“Dave, I know...” she paused, looking a bit confused. “I know I haven’t been much of a sister. I can’t believe that you have gotten all grown up and I never even noticed. I feel like a real shit, you know? I don’t even know your friends, what you like to do, what your hobbies are, how school is going. I am not sure why though.”

I just shrugged, not meeting her eyes.

“Am I that bad? You won’t even talk to me. Have I been that much of a bitch? I know I tend to be pretty self-absorbed, but damn.” I snuck a look and could see that she looked sad, guilty.

“You are five years older.” I said, hesitantly. “You didn’t have much time for a creepy little brother. Not much in common or anything.”

“You know, when Mom and Dad brought you home, all I could think of was that I wasn’t the baby anymore. Here you were, a little miracle, or so they all said, and I just ... I just wanted to be the center of attention.” she admitted, shaking her head.

“I guess it was easier to ignore you and, as time passed, it just got easier and easier. Now you are all grown up and I don’t even know you. I don’t know the first thing about my brother. How fucked up is that?”

“Nothing to know. I am nobody, just a weirdo. I don’t have any friends or even any hobbies, except reading and working out. No reason for you to even notice me.” I said, trying to ease her mind. She had ignored me, but I had always worshipped her.

Becky’s expression was shocked, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

“Jesus, Dave. I have been a really shitty sister, haven’t I? You sit there like you are waiting for me to beat you or something, won’t even meet my eyes.”

“It’s okay, Becky.” I said, looking into her eyes. “You are so ... well, you are so beautiful and popular, you don’t have time for a stupid kid brother.”

Evidently it was not the right thing to say, as Becky burst into tears. She slid off the bed and knelt by my side, hugging me to her.

“I want to change that, okay Dave? I want to spend some time with you, get to know you. Can we do that? Can you let me be a real sister?”

I was floored. For fourteen years, she had done her best to avoid me but now she wanted to get to know me? What did I say to something like that?

We ended up sitting on the floor of her bedroom, talking. It took her a while to get me to open up, but for the rest of the afternoon we talked. I confided in her, told her my fears, my dreams, shared how uncomfortable I was around people, how shy and scared I was. Several time we cried together, Becky holding me in her arms and apologizing.

By the time dinner was announced, I felt like I had a friend, a real, true friend and Becky was almost bouncing.

“I am going to be the best big sister ever. I am going to get you out of that shell, out from that rock you have been hiding under. I am going to get you a girlfriend, hell, a dozen of them. When the summer is over and you are a freshman in high school, you are going to be the stud that makes everyone drool.” she laughed, teasing me as we headed downstairs.

“I doubt that, but I would be happy just spending a little time with you.” I replied, blushing again.

“Trust me, Dave. Why the girls are not howling at the door already, I don’t know, but you are going to knock them dead.”

Dinner was a trip. My parents were almost silent, sharing shocked looks, as Becky started outlining her plans for me. Becky had never, for as long as they could remember, willingly engaged me at all, much less had plans to spend time with me.

“Becky?” Mom asked, when she could get a word in. “What’s going on here?”

Becky looked embarrassed; her shoulders hunched. “I realized today what a shit I had been. I guess I never got over being mad that I wasn’t an only child. Then today, I saw ... well, I saw that I had this brother who was almost an adult and I didn’t know the first thing about him. We spent all day talking in my room and I want to fix things, I want to be a good big sister.”

“I can’t begin to tell you how happy that makes me, Becky.” Mom said, tears in her eyes. “I gave up, years ago, hoping that you two would be friends.”

“I know, Mom. I am so sorry. I never realized.” Becky admitted. “Know what I saw today?” she glanced at me, an evil glint in her eye. I silently begged her not to tell, not let my mother know what she had seen.

“He always wears those baggy clothes, doesn’t he?” she asked, a smirk on her face. “He looks like a sad sack, right? Take off your shirt, Dave.”

I was shocked and shook my head, my face bright red and wished I could shrink into myself, disappear from the table.

“Son,” my Father said gently. “Is there something wrong? If it is a medical thing, you should have come to us.”

“No, Daddy! It isn’t something wrong, it is something right. Something awesome! Dave, take off your shirt, please?” She pleaded with me and, despite being mortified, I couldn’t resist the look in her eye. I stood and stripped off my sweatshirt and, because I couldn’t bear to meet their eyes, missed the shocked expressions on their faces.

“Damn, son! When you started running and exercising, I never expected anything like this. How much do you work out?”

“Four or five hours a day.” I mumbled, sure that there were going to be repercussions. He would make me stop, I was sure of it.

“That seems like a lot, Dave, but it has had tremendous results.” his mother murmured, shaking her head. “I had no idea! Why do you wear such baggy clothes when you work so hard to look fantastic?” she asked, bewildered.

“I like to run, I like the way it feels. I don’t like ... I am not...” I didn’t know how to answer that question. I didn’t want people staring at me. I didn’t want people talking to me, I never knew what to say.

“Mom, Dave has some serious self-image issues. He is so shy, he has a really hard time relating to people. We talked a lot today, and I think he works out as a way of letting go of his anxiety. Did you know that he doesn’t have any friends?”

“May I be excused, please.” I sputtered, and practically bolted from the table. I don’t think I had been that embarrassed since the incident at the beginning of the year with Carla.

I was back in my room, door closed and locked, doing my best not to hyperventilate when I heard a soft knock on the door.

“Son, can I come in?” My Father was in the hallway.

I unlocked the door and sat on my bed, convinced that this most strange day was ending in disaster.

Dad perched on the edge of my desk, his arms folded but his expression was anything but angry.

“Son, I feel like your mother and I have let you down. You have always been a quiet boy. You are always well behaved, never caused any trouble. You keep to yourself but you get perfect grades in school. I guess we assumed, since you did so well and never got in trouble, that things were going well for you. Sure, there were times when I wanted to throw a ball, or maybe go fishing, but as long as you were happy, I didn’t mind too much when you didn’t want to do those things.

“I didn’t look close enough, Dave, and for that I am very sorry. Look, son, your mother and I love you and we want the best for you. Becky told us some of the things you talked about, and damn if we haven’t dropped the ball time and time again. I want to change that, if you will let me.”

“You are good parents!” I protested, not at all comfortable with his sudden concern.

“No, Dave, we weren’t, but it isn’t too late if you will let us help. We want to be a part of your life, just like Becky does. Look, I think you should see someone, a professional. In fact, I would like to see a family counselor, for all of us. It is clear to me that we have issues to work out as a family. Can you do that? Would you, for mine and your mother’s sake?”

“Okay, I guess. I don’t, like, hate you guys or anything, you know? I love you and Mom.”

“And we love you, son, but we haven’t been very good parents. Let me see who I can find, and I will set up some appointments, okay? In the mean time, I would like for you to come downstairs to the living room. We want to talk to you, your mother, me and Becky. Would you do that for me?”

“Okay, Dad.” I acquiesced, not at all comfortable but not knowing how to demur without hurting their feelings.

We spent all evening just talking, as a family. I never knew that my mother used to be a dancer, than my father had played high school football. I never knew that Becky had gone through a pregnancy scare in high school, having slept with her boyfriend at her senior prom, or that he had dumped her when she told him she might be pregnant.

It was like I was being introduced to these people for the first time, even though I had ‘known’ them my entire life. It was an eye-opening experience, to say the least. It really drove home to me how withdrawn I had been from the entire family, almost my whole life. When I tried to recall the last time I had actually talked to any of them, it was like there was a blank in my memory. I couldn’t even remember what my last birthday had been like, if I had even gotten a present from anyone.

I made up my mind that things had to change. I had missed so much, missed having a family, missed caring about people. I was, frankly, terrified, but I was also determined. Today was going to be the start of something new, something better.

Of course, all the good intentions in the world don’t change things overnight. My first appointment with a psychologist was set up for the day summer vacation started, but that was another week away. My last week of middle school started Monday and, even though the weekend had been good, exhausting mentally and emotionally, but good, I still had to face school on Monday.

It was ... different. I had promised Becky to try and keep my head up, to stop walking around hunched over and to try and look people in the eye. This was easier said than done, I had spent my whole life trying to not get noticed, and I wasn’t going to become someone new overnight.

I did my best though, and kept reminding myself to meet peoples’ gazes, to keep my head up. I was surprised to see that people actually acknowledged me, nodded as we passed. One girl even smiled at me in the hallway, and I turned to see who was behind me that she knew. This caused her to titter, but she waved as I passed by.

It was an eye-opening week. Most of the students at school had been there since I was young, I had known them, peripherally, for years, but never spoke to any of them. Yet they all seemed to know me. No one walked up and talked to me, but I could see that it was more about habits that were ingrained, developed over years. I had not welcomed interaction, and they knew that, so they didn’t try, but it was a revelation anyway.

What capped my week was Carla. It seemed fitting, somehow, that the disaster that started my year would be revisited at the end.

Math class had long been a favorite of mine. I had always done well, and it had come easily. I seemed to have a knack for visualizing math equations, they seemed to coalesce in my mind and almost solve themselves. It left me a lot of time, during class, to daydream or even work on assignments for other classes. Another reason Math was my favorite class this year was that Carla was there.

When I walked into class on Friday, I stopped inside the door to look around, seeing who was already seated. Carla was there, in her usual seat, and I am not sure what came over me, but I chose a desk next to hers. I had been trying my best, all week, to actually interact with people, though on a very limited scope, and when I sat down and Carla turned to see who had taken that spot, I smiled at her.

The look on her face was one of confusion, though she returned my smile a bright grin of her own.

“Hi, Dave! Something different about you this week.” she mused, tilting her head and staring at me.

“Hi.” I managed to get out, though it felt like my tongue was starting to swell, and I met her gaze.

“You know, I think that is the first time you have ever said a word to me?” she sounded amused.

“Sorry. Not much of a talker.”

She just grinned and turned to face the teacher as the class began.

I was petrified. I had actually talked to Carla. Okay, so it was just a couple of words, but what if she wanted to talk more? What would I say? What if she didn’t? Did I make a fool of myself?

I managed to make it through class without having to run to the boy’s room, a major victory in my book, and I actually began to fantasize about, someday, holding a real conversation with her, or, hell, any girl.

When class let out, it was our lunch period, I was shocked to see Carla walking alongside of me, silent but definitely with me, not just going the same direction.

When she saw me looking at her, she smiled again. “You don’t mind if sit with you at lunch, do you?” she asked.

“Um ... no, of course not.”

We got our trays, today was burgers and fries, and Carla selected an empty table. I slid in across from her, not anywhere near comfortable enough to actually sit next to her, and sat there, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“You look nervous, Dave. Did I do something wrong?” Carla asked quietly, her expression intent.

“No, of course not. It’s just ... I never... “ I didn’t know what to say and felt the almost overwhelming urge to bolt out of the cafeteria.

Carla reached over and patted my hand. “It’s okay, Dave. Really. I won’t make you sit here with me if you aren’t comfortable. It’s just that we have gone to the same school, been in the same classes, since second grade and I don’t know the first thing about you.”

“Please stay.” I managed to get out, feeling myself blush but also feeling the urge to flee diminish.

“I want to be honest with you, Dave. I hope you don’t think too badly of me, but this is not just a coincidence, you know? My older sister Jan is a friend of Becky.”

My eyes must have shown my shock, but she reached over and laid her hand over mine, her gaze intent.

“Becky and Jan sat me down yesterday and we had a long talk. I guess you know, by now, that it was about you. Don’t worry, she didn’t tell me any of your secrets or anything, just that you are very shy and have had a hard time making friends. I was very embarrassed that it took me a while to remember who, exactly, they were talking about, and even more embarrassed when I realized that I have known you my whole life but never really known you.

“I thought that today would be a good day to fix that. I know that it is the last day of school and all, but summer starts tomorrow and I think I would like to get to know you, if that is okay.”

She looked earnest, like this was actually something she wanted. Me. She wanted to get to know me. Okay, it was at the urging of Becky and Carla’s sister, Jan, but still. I was excited, and not a little terrified, at the notion.

“I think I would like that.” I managed to say, though I am sure I was beet red.

“Good!” she chirped, her smile so bright it was blinding. She actually meant it!

“Tomorrow we are having a pool party at my house, it starts at ten in the morning. We will be having barbeque burgers and hot dogs, some games, swimming, music. It will be a lot of fun and I want you to come. Please say you will!”

“Me? At a party? I don’t think...” I started to demur, feeling panicked.

“Dave...” she grabbed my hand, holding it in both of hers. “You can do this. I really want you to come. I can introduce you to all the kids you already know.” she giggled, and it was strangely calming. “Becky said she will come, and I know Jan is going to be there. It will be a lot of fun. Please?”

“Okay, Carla. But I don’t know ... I don’t know how to act around people.” I blurted out, wanting to slink away.

“Trust your sister, and trust me, okay? We will make sure that everything is cool. You will have fun and that is an order.” she said, a mock stern glare on her face. Then she smiled at me again. I am not ashamed to say that, at that point, I would do almost anything to earn a smile from Carla.

“Um ... I, I don’t know how to swim, I don’t even own a swimsuit.” I admitted, embarrassed and ashamed. The thought of parading around in just shorts was terrifying. Even in Gym class, I never showered with others, it being the last class of the day. I would always go home and shower after school.

“Don’t worry about it! I am sure that Becky can help you buy a suit, and I will teach you to swim if you want. You can always hang out in the shallow end, and no one will even know.”

The rest of the day went by in a haze, and I can’t remember a single thing that the teachers said. Finals were over last week and today’s classes were spent, for the most part, just chatting and cutting up. The teachers didn’t even try to make us be quiet or serious. Gym class was spent with little groups hanging out in the bleachers and talking, the coach staying in his office and doing paperwork.

When the last bell rang, and cheers filled the hallways of the school, it seemed like every kid in the school was rushing for the doors, intent on starting summer just as soon as they could get outside.

I was surprised to see Becky standing there by the curb, her little Miata parked behind her with the top down. She waved when she saw me come out, and rushed to give me a hug.