Chapter 5

I was nervous. Terrified, really. I knew I was a late bloomer, that it was kinda weird to be nineteen and still having never been on a 'date.' Then again, I guess it wasn't really much of a date. I couldn't quite figure out specifically what this was, but as I waited I tried to figure it out.

I was dressed in my best 'formal casual.' I was wearing a light blue button up shirt(no tie, that would be weird), with black slacks, and sneakers. I didn't think I looked particularly impressive, I think I looked like I was about to be sick. Still, I tried to push myself forward, at least pretend that I knew what I was doing. Confidence would get me through this. Well, confidence and a large heaping pile of stupidity.

The meeting was set up for the restaurant down the street from my apartment. It was a good enough place to eat, nothing fancy, perfect for my intentions. The food was good and cheap and the atmosphere was general enough for what I needed. I didn't want to give a false impression, I wasn't very taken with Jenny and didn't particularly want to start a relationship with her. Still, she had something I needed and maybe I could provide something she wanted.

I looked up and down the street anxiously. Evening was fading into dusk, the sun was starting its' slow crawl behind the mountains in the distance. My palms were sweating and I had a very large urge to chicken out and go home. Call the whole thing off and be done with it. Only the thought of the very real possibility of becoming a living, breathing, clucking chicken kept me there.

I didn't recognize her at first. She had done up her hair so that it sat in a pony-tail and she was wearing make up. Nothing too extravagant, but her cheeks seemed somewhat redder than what I remembered and there was definitely bright red lip stick on. She had on a light green summer dress that went down to her ankles. It moved with her, looking more inviting than sexual. While she wasn't the bomb-shell Ann was or the cute package Ellie was, she was definitely a very pretty girl.

We greeted awkwardly and went in. We were seated quickly and made our orders(burger and fries for me, some sort of salad for the lady). As we waited for our food, there was silence. Too much silence. I should be saying something, but what? What can I say? I can't just out right tell her I want to have sex with her so that a sorceress doesn't turn me into a cactus(could she do plants? That's pretty scary). I tried to grasp at anything, everything I knew about her.

I knew she was a bookworm, something I admired as I didn't have the patience for reading a lot. I knew she was doing well in school, considered a nerd by her friends and peers. I knew she was pretty, which was terribly helpful information at the current time. She was probably smart, but I didn't know how to use that, either. Oh geeze, what do you say to a smart, pretty girl that you need to have sex with?

'So, ' I said, it seeming the best word to break the silence with. 'What are you studying in school?'

She smiled. 'Oh, you know, the usual stuff. I did some pre-college courses back in school so I've already got some credits. I've been taking advanced math and science courses with English and a little history.'

'Yeah? How's that going?'

'Really well.'

The oppressive silence reigned again as I tried desperately to get back on course. Okay, school seemed to go well enough, what can I ask about school?

'Okay, so, well, what are you studying for?'

She blushed a little. 'I haven't really decided. I know I want to do something with math and science, they're what I really like, but I don't really know where I want to go, ya know?'

I nodded, but I wanted her to keep speaking. 'Well, what is it that you like about it?'

She thought for a moment, then smiled, her eyes sparkling. 'Recently, we've been examining the differentiations between covalent bonds and ionic bonds in a more structured way. Obviously, we already learned about it back in High School, but... '

As she began talking her excitement grew. There seemed to be something magical about the way she talked about molecular bonds and structures. I didn't really understand most of it, but what I did understand was that she was excited. Talking about atomic particles and all that kind of thing made her happy. Her enthusiasm was contagious and though I didn't care for the subject matter, I was more than willing to listen to everything she said about it.

We received our food and she still talked on and on about what she was learning and the impacts it could have on every day life. I prodded her with questions I hoped weren't too uninformed, but she did a lot of back tracking, explaining basic principles to build upon. It didn't take long before my mind felt like it was bursting with information an hour ago I would have felt was entirely worthless. It didn't feel any less unimportant, but somehow there seemed to be some value in the knowledge, if only because it was so excitedly shared.

About three quarters of the way through the meal, Jenny suddenly went quiet. She blushed and said, 'Sorry.'

'Hmm?'

'I was talking too much.'

I laughed. 'Oh, no, it's okay. I don't mind listening.'

After that, there was no more discussion of science or scientific things. We talked about our pasts, I told her about my parents, the only family I had, and she told me about her sisters and brother. We chatted aimlessly for the rest of the meal, learning about each other. The bill came and went, and soon we were standing outside in the evening light.

I was back in turmoil. Now that I knew more about Jenny I could see her more as an individual, a human being with passions and desires. I no longer wanted to take advantage of her, to force her into my bed even if she could get something out of it.

I also didn't want to be a racoon.

Shit.

'Well, my place is up the street a bit. Wanna stop by for a little?'

She shrugged. 'Okay.'

As we walked back to my apartment, my heart started hammering in my chest. What was I doing? Should I be doing this? What else could I do? There wasn't any way out, but at the same time did I really want out? Before having seen her, I had no sexual desires toward Jenny. Well, at least no more than I had with any other pretty girl I saw. But now I saw her as a person and that made her all the more attractive. I wasn't making a deal to get out of something a sorceress wanted me to do, I was back to rape.

This didn't seem to be going very well. I was still struggling with myself as we entered my apartment. As was usual, we went to go sit down, but this time I decided to sit next to Jenny on the bed.

It was awkward. Not only did I not have any experience seducing women, I didn't particularly want to seduce this one. Yeah, she was pretty and I'd happily have sex with her, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was taking advantage of her.

'So, ' I said.

'So, ' she responded.

We lapsed back into silence. I looked down at my hands, not wanting to see her. They seemed like strong hands, I guess. Boney, with long fingers they didn't seem like much. My nails were usually well trimmed, I didn't like biting them. But they were mine and I hoped that by looking at them that my problem would just solve itself.

It didn't, which was unhelpful. She was still sitting next to me, but it seemed she was picking up on my nervousness and responding in kind. Her back was stiff and she was trying not to look at me. Why was this so hard to do?

'Well, uhm, ' she said, standing up. 'Maybe I should get back to the dorms. It's been fun, but it's getting late.'

She turned and started walking to the door. I watched my future of standing on two feet go with her.

The part of me that didn't want to be a quadruped called out to her.

'Wait.'

She stopped and looked back at me. I saw the question in her eyes and I struggled to answer it.

'Listen, I, uhm, I kinda, I guess, need, umm, ya know, your help.'

She came back to the bed and sat down. I had her attention, probably because I'd just commanded her to listen to me. This wasn't going how I wanted it to. Then again, I wasn't quite sure what I expected would happen.

I sighed. My only choices now seemed to be either tell her the truth or start issuing more commands. I wasn't ready to step over the 'command someone to have sex with me' threshold, so that only left one option.

I don't remember exactly what I said, but I outlined the problem for her. I told her about Miss Angeline, how she wanted me to have sex with someone and had made me choose between Ellie and Jenny. I tried to keep myself even headed and I think I managed that pretty well. She wasn't looking at me when she finished. Instead, she was staring down at her own hands as I had been moments before.

When she at last spoke she looked up into my eyes. 'Why didn't you ask Ellie?'

My first instinct was to turn away from her hazel eyes. Ann told me not to tell, but she did have a point. Ellie was more attractive than Jenny was, and we had more of a history. There seemed to be more to build upon, a larger chance for sexual success with Ellie.

I didn't want to lie, though. I don't like lying and had forced the girls not to lie to me. Not only that, but how would I lie? What would I say?

The truth loomed in front of me again. I guess I'm just too dumb to lie.

I didn't look back up at her, instead directing my answer to my thumb, which was cleaning out non-existent dirt from under my finger nails.

'I was having a hard time deciding what to do when Ann called. Don't be mad at her, but she kinda said that you wanted to have sex. Not with me, ' I hastily added, 'but just in general. That it was, you know, something you wanted.'

She looked hurt, and that ripped me to the core. I was choosing her not because I was attracted to her physically or emotionally, but because someone told me to have sex with her. I wasn't interested in her as a person, I was interested in her as a vagina. I pushed on. If it was going to be the truth, it might as well be all of it.

'And to be honest, I've been, I mean, it's been eye opening, these past couple months. Ellie does a lot of things I don't like and I feel like I don't really know her anymore. I guess I really didn't know her and I just-I dunno.'

I shrugged my shoulder pathetically, and tried to not look at her.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't the whole truth. After my first run in with her crotch, I felt very much like I should stay away from Ellie. None of them remembered the episode at all and I didn't want to remind them. It has always been my greatest shame, that I took advantage of her in such a way, I didn't want to go back down that path. I didn't think I could come back if I ever forced one of the girls to have sex with me.

I waited for her to yell at me. I knew I was in trouble and couldn't for the life of me figure out how I'd gotten to where I was. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad living life as a dog. At the time, that really seemed my only likely future.

'Alright, ' she whispered.

My heart stopped and I looked up at her incredulously. I couldn't believe that worked.

'Does it have to be tonight?'

I tried to think, but my mind was still reeling from her acceptance. 'Uh, I dunno. I guess. Miss Angeline said she'd be here tomorrow to check, but if you'd rather-'

'No, ' she interrupted me. 'Tonight's okay.'

We both looked at each other, then turned away at the same time. Now that the moment had come, everything was very awkward. I felt my heart thumping in my chest and I was afraid to move, afraid to break whatever spell was over her to allow me to do such foolish things.

We sat in silence, neither of us making the first move. I tried to convince myself that this wasn't my first time, I shouldn't be so uneasy. After all, I'd fucked Ann and she had liked it. How was this any different?

I finally grabbed whatever courage I had, and looked at her. I could see the difference immediately. Ann had wanted it, almost needed it. Jenny was doing me a favor, helping me out of a jam. Ann was sensual and full of raw sexuality. Jenny was shy and withdrawn. Ann had practically jumped me, while I was certainly going to have to initiate this.

It wasn't going to get any easier, so I pushed myself forward. I slowly scooted myself closer to Jenny and put my hand on her shoulder. She looked so vulnerable and small. She didn't look anything like the fiery girl that wanted to poison her roommate for disturbing her sleep.

'Are you sure? If you don't want this, I understand.'

She looked back down at her hands. Her brown hair fell between us, veiling her to me. I waited, knowing I had to give her this. I had to give her the chance to turn me into a penguin by proxy.

She bit her lower lip softly and returned her pretty eyes back to mine. She nodded and said, 'it's okay.'

I sighed with relief. I didn't want to have to dodge killer whales or polar bears.

I reached through the cascade of her hair and cupped her cheek. 'If you change your mind, just tell me. Okay?'

She nodded, barely. It seemed almost a shaking gesture, as though beyond her control. She was scared and that, frankly, made me scared. Our nervousness fed each other, but I had to persevere. This was my only chance.

Slowly, hesitantly, I leaned forward to kiss her lips. She allowed me to steal my way onto he, but kept her lips tightly sealed. It was something, though. I gingerly pushed my lips into hers, gently sucking her with every contact. My repeated revisits to her eventually weakened her resolve, and she started opening herself up, allowing the tip of my tongue to part her lips.

I didn't push. I couldn't. She was so skittish and shy, I was afraid to scare her off. So, I went slowly, continuing to kiss her gently, taking my time. My right hand rubbed her shoulder, feeling the strap of her bra through her light sun dress while my left moved to take her hands.

I held her as we made out quietly. She opened up, gradually returning my kisses and turning more towards me. Our knees contacted when I drew her closer to me, reaching around to pull her close.

My heart was pounding in fear and slowly marching toward desire. She was so soft, so sweet, so gentle. I wanted to hold her, to protect and shelter her, yet she was the one that was helping me. That made me want her more.

Our tongues danced with each other as things got a bit more heated between us. I knew I wasn't a very good kisser, having very little in the way of experience, but it didn't seem to matter much. She was much more responsive now, so I inched my left hand up her arm, caressing her as I went. She didn't seem to notice or mind, so I continued on, reaching her elbow. I teased her soft skin with my fingertips, rubbing back and forth.

I was feeling a little emboldened, having gotten this far. Lightly, I lifted off her arm and allowed myself to roll over her breast, brushing past on the back of my hand. That didn't seem to elicit any response in her, so I repeated the action, being every slightly more forceful with every pass.

Through the smacking of our lips, I could hear a tiny moan coming from her, almost inaudible. I caught a glimpse of it on my lips, a hum that vibrated through her and into me. She was getting caught up in the moment, which made me even more bold.

I opened my hand and cupped her breast. She shied away briefly, shocked that I had been so brazen, but allowed me to continue. I didn't grope or probe, merely caressed, testing the feel of her bra. She was supple and yielding, with the largest bosoms I had yet touched. I've never been much for large breasts, but hers were magnificent. I squeezed ever so gently and felt them form around my finger tips in a most amazing way.

I was thus engaged when I first felt her touch me back. To this point, she had held herself in reserve, allowing me to feel her, but not returning the favor. I was shocked when I first felt her creeping hand and flinched away. She took this as a reproach and started to move away from me. I held her tighter, so she couldn't pull away and grabbed her wrist. I returned her fingers to my stomach, where she had left them, and returned to manipulating her tits.

Her hand didn't really move, but I didn't need it to. I was still engaged in the subtle process of trying to get her used to my touch so we could go further. I caressed and felt, growing slightly more insistent with my movements as time passed.

By now, I was tenting my pants pretty well. A noticeable bulge formed in the crotch of my pants and I decided to push her a little. Reluctantly removing myself from her chest, I retreated back to her hand. Lifting it off my stomach, I lowered it to my hardened cock.

She stiffened in surprise when she realized what she had in her hand. She was completely unprepared for what to do, and simply left her hand resting on my member. I was unwilling to allow her to simply freeze up, so I took the initiative for her, and wrapped her delicate fingers around me, as best she could through the material of my pants. When I got her to start rocking back and forth along the length of my dick, I returned to my duties, caressing and playing with her fantastic tits.

I pushed the pleasure in my lower half to the back of my mind and tried to focus on giving her an enjoyable ride as well. She was doing me a favor, I didn't want her to regret her decision. To that end, I slipped my right arm through hers, so I could reach both her breasts.

As I kneaded and pulled at her, I could feel her hardened nipples through the fabrics of both her bra and dress. It didn't take long for it to start frustrating me. I wanted to feel flesh, not some cotton/polymer blend.

I dragged my encircled arm back around her side, following her bra strap to the back. I tried to put knowledge gained from the internet to the test, and pushed inwardly on both ends of the latch. I think I was more surprised than she was when each end, now released, snapped away.

We both pulled away at that, then I laughed. It was nervous laughter, there not being anything terribly funny about a bra being released, but it seemed like the right thing at the time. She took it rather awkwardly, forcing a little out as well around the end.