Chapter 3

I was in trouble and I knew it. I couldn't shake the feeling that what Miss Angeline had told me to do was rape, but I also knew that I couldn't manage another few weeks(or however long it would take for her to return) without any sort of release. The only reason I'd managed before was because I was so tired all the time, but now my body was far more capable of enduring so that was out of the question.

I was also surprised to learn just how much I didn't want to disappoint her. She was trusting me with these three girls and I wanted to make her proud of me. The fact that she was shamelessly using my body for her sexual pleasure seemed to reinforce, rather than negate, my desire to please. I probably should have thought harder about that, but I never did.

So it was with a heavy heart, I started trying to figure out what I was going to do. I had no experience in seducing girls, so my chances of getting anything outside of who I currently knew was almost entirely impossible. My only real shot at this was figuring out who I was going to have sex with.

I had a very deep emotional connection with Ellie, so she was my first choice. I knew my feelings went well beyond 'just a friend' so I felt more inclined toward her. I had a desire for her to be my first. The problem was that I still felt like I had betrayed her, even if she still didn't remember that first day. I didn't want to go further and open that rift again. But, I reminded myself, you can always make her forget. That didn't really make me feel better, though. It made me feel sleazy.

Jenny was pretty much out of the question. While she was certainly attractive enough, her mean streak left me more than a little cautious. What if I did something she didn't like? Would she ask me before she poisoned me? She seemed like a very dangerous person to cross. If I knew more about her sexually, I might be more inclined, but she was a wild card and I didn't want to gamble on this.

That pretty much left Ann. She was definitely the one that aroused me the most sexually. I'd had a lot more experience with her and seen her naked and writhing, which left me in a much more comfortable position. Still, she had a lot of outside knowledge with a lot of other guys(and girls, I remembered with a smirk and hardening cock), which did nothing for my confidence level. As much as I didn't want to rape anyone, I also didn't want to disappoint, either. Granted, the ability to order someone to orgasm probably meant I was worried over nothing.

Was it really the same, though?

I knew I had to make a decision and the sooner I made it the more level headed I'd be. Unfortunately, knowing I needed to decide didn't help me actually do it. Despite devoting time and energy to trying to figure out how, when, and with who, I was still no closer to figuring out what to do days later.

The week started off fine enough. I went through the usual moral questions, answered my usual ways, but it didn't take too long for my desire to start picking up steam. It was little things, things I never really noticed, that really got to me. Watching TV and seeing a Victoria's Secret commercial. Seeing an attractive girl walking down the street. Telling one or another of the girls they can take care of their own lusts. There was even a short period Thursday night when I went insane and started watching porn, but my arms seemed glued to my sides. It was as Miss Angeline said. I wasn't getting off unless someone helped me off.

Friday was when things really started breaking down for me. Work was my only real release, because I had been programed to act and feel a certain way while I was there. The second I was on the clock, my arousal was instantly pushed to the back of my mind, and I was devoted to my job. When I punched out, though, it all came flooding back onto me, seemingly worse than before because I had such a vivid memory of calm.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I started acting very poorly. In normal circumstances, I'm sure my body would have been able to adjust, but it seemed like Miss Angeline had commanded me to remain horny at all times. Maybe I'm making too much of things, but I couldn't concentrate on any of my classes or homework. The horrible tingling in my balls just wouldn't abate.

I took it out on the girls. After my fiasco with the porn, I denied all requests for any gratification. This probably effected them a lot worse than I was being effected. They not only had to deal with the same things I did, but also with the added pressure of my saying no exacerbating the situation.

It was, surprisingly, Jenny that broke down and started begging first. Unbeknownst to me, I had been denying her a lot longer than the others, she having so far gone two weeks without any form of gratification. Her pleas broke through my haze of arousal enough to allow me to feel guilt. I allowed her to masturbate, even going so far as to tell her that if she needed to she could continue on for as long as she wanted.

I was not so generous with Ellie or Ann. I felt bad for Jenny because I had been neglecting her, but I knew both of the other two had been satisfied earlier that week. It allowed me a ruthless form of pleasure to deny them what I was aching for. It was some of the only pleasure I had.

This continued for almost another week. I also went back to saying no to Jenny. I could tell from the phone calls I was having an effect on all of them. They wouldn't come out and ask from the start, as that was the end of the conversation. Instead, they would try to talk me up, maybe try to complement me. It might have worked if they weren't asking for something I couldn't have. The second they asked about something sexual, though, all my feelings came rushing in and I told them no. Over and over.

I was behaving like a petty tyrant and I knew it. The problem was that I just couldn't force myself to care, either. Misery loves company, as they say.

It was more than that, though. I felt trapped. It didn't seem like there was any way out. I couldn't go forward with my desires because no one wanted them. I couldn't go back because I couldn't face Miss Angeline. It seemed like no matter where I went I would be disappointing somebody in a serious way, not including myself.

I learned a lot about myself during that time. The fact that I'm very much a sunshine friend being one of them. When things go poorly, I can't seem to keep myself together. I wanted desperately to do better, but every time I heard one of my girls voice I was brought directly to the reality that was my unreleased tension. I tried to tell myself to go easier on them, but when faced with the horrible choice about inflicting my pain on others, I chose badly.

I remember the day well. It was Tuesday and I was half-way through my shaving ritual when Ellie called. I still had shaving cream slathered over half my face with some residual stripes on the other side. My Grandfather had given me an old fashioned razor for my birthday and it was poised over my upper lip when I heard the familiar chimes. I grimaced into the mirror and went to grab my phone.

'Yeah?' I asked.

'What's wrong?' came her response. She was feeling testy, too.

'I'm in the middle of something. What do you want?'

'Whatever. I-'

That was about when I stopped listening. I didn't care what she had to say and I was more than a little annoyed that she was saying it. I wanted to shave, to concentrate on something that didn't remind me of sex and my inability to acquire it. After a little while I figured I should probably hear her out, just so I know what I'm telling her not to do.

'-just think you're taking it too far. I don't know what's going on, but you need-'

'Don't tell me what I need.' I cut in.

'Fine! Stop saying no all the time! We have needs too, you know?'

'You have needs? You have needs? I'll tell you about needs-'

'-course I have needs you arrogant-'

'-don't call me arrogant you selfish little-'

'-the fuck do you think you are? If I'm selfish you're-'

'Bitch!'

Our conversation quickly devolved into a shouting match. I can't recall all that was said, the heat of the moment and the passion of not having relieve our sexual desires fueled an amazing fight that must have lasted hours by how sore my throat was at the end. I may not remember how it all went, but I do remember yelling, right before shutting my phone, 'No! No, no, no! If I can't have sex, neither can you!'

It took a long time for me to settle down. I'd like to claim that the more rational part of my mind realized that it's a bad idea to take a razor sharp blade to your throat while you're so mad you're shaking, but I was too busy pacing, ranting my head. I couldn't believe her nerve, to lecture me on

someone else's desires when my own hadn't been satisfied in a few millennia. I gripped and carried on, yelling in my mind all the nasty things I wanted to tell her. I did eventually finish shaving, though I went slowly.

As night fell, I was lounging in my computer chair. I was trying very hard not to concentrate on the torture going on in my groin, and failing spectacularly. I had nothing else to think about, having exhausted all insults that I knew to direct at Ellie. That was when I was mercifully torn from myself by a knock at the door.

Despite the fact that it gave me a very small, momentary reprieve, I still wasn't too impressed with my entire situation. I grumbled my way to the door and yanked it open. I was met by a most welcome sight.

Ann stood in the hallway, smiling up at me. Her hair was up in a neat bun and her make-up was light. At least, I think it was. I couldn't really tell if the blush was real or not, but I guess that's the point of it. She was wearing a very small, very attractive red dress. It only barely covered the tips of her breasts and I'm not entirely sure she could have bent over without revealing herself in all her glory.