Chapter 39: Thanksgiving, Part I

November 1982, Milford, Ohio

After dropping Elyse in Glen Este, I headed to the Spencers’ to drop off my stuff and then drove to Kara’s house. Kara hadn’t been clear about me staying every night at her house, so I didn’t want to assume.

“Hi, Snuggle Bear!” she said when she opened the door.

“Hi, Honey!” I said, pulling her into a hug and kissing her.

“Do you need to get your stuff?” she asked.

“I wasn’t sure from our last conversation which nights I could stay here, so I dropped my things at Melanie’s house.”

“I wasn’t sure who was going to be around this week — my mom’s family will be in and out. Do you mind if we sleep at the Spencers’?”

“I don’t care where we sleep, as long as we’re together!” I said.

Kara smiled, “I like that!”

“So, what plans do we have?” I asked.

“None, really. I’m sure you’ll want to swim with your sister. As for Thanksgiving, we have a choice, I guess. Mom is going to grandma’s house and we’re invited, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to do that, or go to your house or do something else.”

“I really don’t want to go to my house, and making Thanksgiving dinner for two is a lot of work, but we can do it. I’m sure Don Joseph would be happy to have us at his house, as would the Spencers, or even Joyce’s family.”

I saw a pained look on Kara’s face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I, uhm, don’t really want to see Joyce,” she said softly.

“What happened?” I asked, wondering why she hadn’t said anything, and why I hadn’t heard from Joyce about a problem.

A tear rolled down Kara’s cheek, and she buried her face in my chest. I put my arms around her and held her until she regained enough composure to talk to me.

“Last week, Saturday, she spent the night like she usually does. You know that we sleep in the same bed and cuddle, right? Last Saturday, she kissed me, you know, like she did that day in the sauna? Well, I was lonely, and I let her...”

She buried her face in my chest again. I had a pretty good idea what had happened and a pretty good idea what the problem was. She and Joyce had gone further than Kara had been ready for, and Kara was either scared, ashamed, or both. All I could do now was to wait for her to tell me.

A few minutes later, she lifted her head and asked, “Do you still love me?”

“Of course I do! There’s nothing you could do that would make me stop loving you. I mean that. Nothing.”

She buried her face in my chest again. I was pretty sure now that she and Joyce had gone a LOT further.

After a minute, I asked softly, “What happened?”

“I should never have done it, Steve!” she whispered. “It was so wrong!”

“Tell me what happened, honey. Let’s talk it through.”

“I, I let her touch me and kiss me and lick me and make me cum,” she whispered through her soft sobs.

“We did that together, Kara, remember?”

“But you weren’t there, Steve! You weren’t there, and I said I could only do it if you were there, but then I did it, anyway! And then I did it to her!” she said, the words just tumbling from her mouth.

I held her tight and whispered, “It’s OK, Kara,” as I stroked her hair.

“No, it’s not! It was wrong! I should never have done it and I feel icky now. I can’t see her, Steve!”

This was just about the worst possible outcome I could imagine! I had hoped that Kara’s insistence that I had to be there would have prevented it, but something had changed and I wasn’t sure what it was. Speaking with Joyce might help, but I didn’t think I should suggest that at the moment.

“Kara, Honey,” I said gently, “listen to me, please. I’m not angry or mad, so don’t worry about that. What changed that you did something you had said you wouldn’t do?”

“I don’t know,” Kara sighed. “We were just lying in bed cuddling and she put her hand on my breast and kissed my neck. It felt good, and I didn’t complain when she kept kissing me like that. When I turned to look at her, Joyce kissed me like she did after the sauna and pulled me close. We kept kissing and eventually she moved to my breasts and then between my legs. It just felt so good I couldn’t tell her to stop. She made me cum and then because she did it to me, I did it to her. She fell asleep first, and I cried myself to sleep because I was so disgusted with myself!”

What I wanted to do was tell her she was foolish to do what she had done, but I’d been foolish myself plenty of times. All I could do now was support her as best I could and help her work through the emotions that were clearly surging.

“Kara, it’s OK. It really is. If you don’t like it, don’t do it again. It doesn’t interfere with our relationship at all.”

“But I feel so dirty, Steve!” she whispered.

I had flashbacks to the near disaster that occurred when Melanie and Jennifer had struggled with urges and desires they didn’t know what to do with, and, in Jennifer’s case, suppressed because of social pressure. I wondered if talking to one of them would help or hurt, but I had absolutely no idea. And I couldn’t violate Kara’s confidence in that way.

“I love you, Kara. More than I can say. This doesn’t change anything between us.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I had sex with someone else! And it was with a girl!”

“Yes, I’m sure. It’s OK. Remember, I told you it was OK to be with Joyce.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have,” she said quietly.

In that instant, I knew she was right. I shouldn’t have. She had said she was having trouble with setting limits and had more or less begged me to set them for her. I’d given her permission to have sex with Joyce, and she had. Of all the mistakes I’d made in my relationship with Kara, including cheating on Kara with Becky, this was shaping up to be the biggest one.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Will you make love with me? Please?” Kara asked.

“Of course. Should we go upstairs or do you want to go to the Spencers’?”

“Not in my bed,” she said, a tear running down her cheek.

It just got better and better, I thought sarcastically. I wished that Kara didn’t have to work Monday through Wednesday so we could be together, but she did. I’d see Mary and Josh, Larry, and spend time with Stephanie. As much as I wanted to see Anna, there was no way that was wise at this point. I also really needed to talk to Joyce, but seeing her could cause serious issues with Kara, and the last thing I wanted to do was to hide what I was doing from Kara. She was extremely fragile at the moment and I had to care for her, no matter what the cost to me.

“OK. Let’s tell your mom we’re going out and we’ll go to the Spencers. We can make love, take a sauna, and just cuddle. I think this week we should just spend time together, Honey. We can go to your grandma’s on Thursday and mine on Friday if that’s OK with you?”

“Yes. What will you do while I’m working?”

“I’m having lunch with Mary and Josh on Monday, seeing Larry on Tuesday, and spending time with my sister on Wednesday. If it’s OK, I’ll drop you at work each day after we have breakfast at my parents’ house and then pick you up from work.”

She smiled, “I’d like that.”

Kara packed an overnight bag, we said goodbye to her mom, and then headed to the Spencers’. Kara’s lovemaking was urgent, and she repeatedly begged me to make her cum. I ignored my own pleasure completely and brought her to her peak four times before I couldn’t hold back any longer. Kara sighed, almost in relief, as my cum filled her spasming pussy.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Are you OK, Kara?” I asked, moving off of her and pulling her into our usual cuddling position.

“I am now. I just needed to feel you in me, to cum from you moving in me, and then to feel your warmth fill me.”

We cuddled for about fifteen minutes before we went to the sauna. Pete and Melanie had greeted us when we came in, but my look told Melanie that Kara and I needed to be alone, so they hadn’t come up to join us in the sauna. Kara and I sat on towels on the lower bench, enjoying the steam pouring from the hot rocks. It had been too long since I’d been in the sauna and I did my best to try to fully relax and let the steam and heat work their magic. We sat quietly for about ten minutes.

“I’m sorry I blamed you for what I did, Steve,” Kara said.

“It’s OK, Honey. You said what you felt. It’s better to get it out in the open than let it fester inside. I should have helped you set your limits better, and it’s my fault for not realizing that. I’m so sorry this all happened.”

“I need to find a way to know what my own limits are,” she said.

“Yes, I think that’s good. I’ll help you as much as you need me to. I goofed and I don’t want to make that mistake again.”

“What do I do now?” she asked softly.

“Well, I would hope you would talk to Joyce sooner rather than later.”

“I can’t. Not right now.”

“OK. I suppose it’s a bad idea to go to Don Joseph’s house tomorrow, then.”

“You could go,” she said.

“No. If you aren’t working or in church, then I want to be with you,” I said. “Don Joseph will understand. I can always stop in for an hour or so on my way home next Sunday. I’ll have Elyse with me, but that won’t cause any trouble.”

“Would you go to church with me tomorrow? It’s nothing like Grace Church and the pastor is nothing like Kent van der Meer.”

I had more or less expected a question like that at some point, and was prepared for it. I’d told my friends in Chicago that I’d do it, so the answer was easy.

“If you want me to, yes,” I said firmly, determined not to show any equivocation.

“Really? You’ll really go to church with me?” she asked, perking up and smiling.

“Absolutely! You know what I believe, and you know I don’t agree with a lot of what they’re likely to say, but if that’s what you need from me, of course I’ll do it. We do still have to find a church we can both agree on in Chicago, but we have plenty of time to do that.”

“Do you know how much that means to me?” she asked.

“I believe I do. And I think we’ll be able to find something, maybe Lutheran or Episcopalian, in Chicago. We can visit different churches once we get back from Sweden.”

“That’s going to be a fun trip! Where will we stay?”

“I’m not sure what Katt’s parents have planned, but I’m reasonably sure that they’ll pay for a hotel for us for several nights. And after that, I’m able to pay. I figure we’ll stay a couple of weeks all together.”

Kara smiled, “It can almost be like a honeymoon!”

“We’ll need to find someplace really interesting for a honeymoon — maybe Sydney, Australia?”

“Oh wow!” Kara exclaimed. “That would be so cool. I’m really going to like being married to you!”

“Well, I hope so!” I chuckled. “I’m certainly going to like being married to you!”

I was glad she seemed to be in a somewhat better mood. I was sure that there was a lot more talking to do about her and Joyce, but I wasn’t quite as concerned as I had been a couple of hours earlier. We certainly had things to work through, but our track record of doing that was pretty good. We’d overcome some pretty huge obstacles and had to take some detours due to events beyond our control, but we’d managed to stay together nearly two years now.

We’d come up to my usual thirty minute limit for the sauna, so we got up and showered together to rinse off the sweat and cool down. When we finished, we dried off and went back to my room and cuddled together in bed, talking about how things had been going in Chicago and our plans for the upcoming holidays.

“Can we celebrate Christmas the same way we did last year?” Kara asked.

“Absolutely!” I agreed. “I’m looking forward to it. I’m sure Melanie will help us out again with the tree and stuff.”

“And we’ll make love by the tree?” she giggled.

“That’s going to be our tradition,” I confirmed.

“You DO realize that we’ll traumatize our children, right?” she smirked.

“They’ll survive,” I chuckled. “You said that yourself last year!”

She giggled, “I did, didn’t I? I said it would be just what mom and dad do!”

We eventually got up and went back to Kara’s house for a dinner that her mom had cooked. After dinner, the three of us went to Friendly’s on Route 28 to have dessert. I was surprised to see Debbie V was our waitress.

“Debbie! How are you?” I asked, getting up to give her a quick hug.

“Great! I haven’t seen you for some time. How are things?”

“Kara and I are still together, obviously, and school is going really well. Are you still seeing Phillip?”

“No. We broke up over the Summer. It just wasn’t going the way I wanted. I’m dating a guy from Moeller now.”

Moeller was a local rival school. It was, in fact, a big football rival, but if she was happy, I wasn’t going to say anything about that.

“Cool,” I said.

We ordered our ice cream, and she was back less than ten minutes later with our order. After we finished eating, I paid the check, left a generous tip for Debbie, and then Kara, her mom, and I headed back to Kara’s house for the evening. When it was time for bed, Kara left with me to go to the Spencers’ after telling her mom that we’d meet her at church. Kara and I made love and slept spooned together.

On Sunday morning, we were up early and headed to my parents’ house, where Stephanie greeted us both with big hugs and kissed us both on the cheek. We went to change into our suits and then swam our laps while Kara sat by the side of the pool, watching. After swimming, I made breakfast for four, because I knew that my dad would join us when he got up.

“Good morning, Kara! It’s good to see you! How are you doing?” Dad said as he came into the kitchen.

“I’m good, thanks. It’s good to see you too, Dad,” Kara said.